Angel of Fire
by Wink57CS
Summary: A girl with no past joins a warrior with no present to destroy a destiny with no future... VH...[COMPLETED]
1. Fire

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or any of it.

She couldn't breathe.

            Lightning. Thunder.

            Fire.

            Heat.

            Such intense heat.

            She tried to run, tried to get away from the flames licking up around her ankles. Desperation gave her an energy unlike any she'd felt before. She could run for days; so long as she could outrun the threat.

            Crying.

            She stopped, and turned back. Someone was crying. Someone was left. She couldn't leave them there! Practically pushing the flames aside, she leaped back into the inferno, searching for the child, always hearing the crying but never seeing the child. She could feel the tongues of fire licking against her skin, could smell the acrid stench of singed hair and burned flesh. But she kept pushing on. She had to find the child. No one could be lost! Her eyes began to water so much she couldn't see. But she had to. She had to find the child.

            A vicious explosion of fire burst underneath her, and she could feel her body being torn apart.

            And all the while, the crying continued…

            She lay on her mat, sweat-soaked hair plastered to her forehead. Deep, calm breaths made her chest slowly rise and fall. The night was quiet, insects distantly chirping a moonlit sonata under the tree canopy that was swaying with the breeze. The air was cool, brushing gently against her heated skin.

            She could feel the pain still. It filled her belly with a fire that never was quenched. Her hands still trembling slightly, she crawled out of her mat and out of the overhang.

            The stars glittered like ice crystals in the black midnight sky, and the Mystic Moon shone brightly above the hilly plains. A shooting star whizzed past, and she sighed.

            "Hitomi?"

            She turned to look at the blonde stranger. Well, he wasn't really a stranger; not anymore. "Yes, Allen?" she said quietly.

            He just looked at her as he approached, evaluating her condition. "Having the dream again?"

            Hitomi turned away from his intense perusal. "Yes."

            Allen seemed to be at a loss for something to say, so he merely remained by her side in the still night.

            "Is your burn alright?" he finally asked.

            "Yes."

            Another silence.

            "Do you need anything?"

            "No."

            "I knew that you had more words in you," Allen said with light mirth in his tone.

            Hitomi turned to look at him, and found him studying her with a gentle tenderness. "Someday, it will go away," he said, uncharacteristically solemn

            She sighed tiredly and pushed her brown hair off her forehead. "I would like to think so." She tried to give him a smile. "I'm okay now, really."

            He didn't believe her, and she knew it. But he was kind enough to let her be stubborn. "Okay. Just…make sure you get sleep, alright?"

            "I will," she promised.

            After he'd walked a sufficient distance away, she sighed and ran her fingertips down the livid scar that raked from her left side across to her lower right hip. The pain was subsiding, come to think of it. Perhaps, with luck and time, it would go away.

            She pressed her lips together and felt a hot tear trace down her cheek.

            She could still hear the crying.

*          *          *

            The next morning Hitomi found herself wandering around the ramshackle camp, looking for the medicine woman. Her burn was beginning to hurt again.

            She bumped into Allen, carrying a bow to his tent.

            "Woah, Princess, watch it!" he said easily, a smile slowly curving his lips. "You could kill someone."

            Hitomi chuckled a little and pushed him aside. "As if I could do that," she muttered good-naturedly. "You seen Millerna around?"

            "Why?" His expression abruptly became serious. "You're okay, right?"

            She waved him away. "Of course I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Ever since you've met me you've been going crazy about my welfare. I'm not a helpless baby that needs coddling."

            "Well, in case you ever do…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

            With a dramatic roll of her eyes, she pushed him aside. "You've got things to do, Allen, same as me. Don't be wasting your time."

            "Who said it would be a waste?" he said to her retreating back, and laughed as she tossed a smile over her shoulder.

            "Allen doesn't seem to know when to give up," she mumbled as she walked around a tent. A pretty blonde straightened from a pot she was bending over.

            "Hitomi!" she said cheerfully. "How are you doing?"

            "Fine." She crossed her arms and smiled back. "Actually, I was wondering if you had any more of that ointment stuff you put on my burns when I first came here."

            "Oh yes, I do." A frown creased her delicate features. "You're okay?"

            "Yeah, I'm fine." Hitomi smirked. "You'd think I was about to die with the way you guys treat me."

            "Well, when you came…" Millerna began hesitantly, stopping as she saw a shadow fall over Hitomi's face. "Nevermind," she said hastily, brightening as she found the object. "Here you go, Hitomi. Don't put too much, remember. Just enough-"

            "-to cover the burn. I know, Millerna. Thanks."

            "Anytime." She bent over to continue her cooking, oblivious to the conflicting emotions in Hitomi's face.

            The brown-haired girl wandered into the clearing next to the camp, fingering the small jar of ointment in her hands. She _had_ almost died. Had come so close…and yet somehow, she survived.

            It was a mystery to her. After the explosion, and the fire, she remembered nothing. A complete blank. All she knew was that she had ended up in the camp of Allen Schezar and his merry band of rebels. Of people without homes. It must be why she seemed to fit in so well. After another fire years ago, she'd been left with nothing and no one. She was alone in the world.

            She knew her stubborn streak to get through everything on her own probably stemmed from that horrible encounter. But it was a part of her, as much as the more recent scar across her stomach.

            As she looked up into the clear blue of the sky, another thought surfaced that had been plaguing her for the weeks of her recovery. The fire had been several miles away from Allen's camp. And she had been in no shape to have walked all the way there. Allen and his men had known nothing about the fire in the little village, not until they found her.

            Someone had saved her life. But no one knew who.


	2. Ice

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne

Chapter 2: Ice

            He could still remember the fire. Bigger than any he'd ever seen. Hotter than any he'd ever felt.

            And yet, he had stormed into the fire.    

            He reevaluated his sanity for the umpteenth time since he'd run into the blaze. He still could not explain why he had done such a foolhardy thing.

            All he knew was he had heard a cry in his mind.

            And he'd _had to comply._

*          *          *

            "Allen," Hitomi began, "why did you guys take me in, anyway?"

            He looked up from his meal, his bluer-than-blue eyes querying. "Why wouldn't we?"

            She shrugged and pushed the food around on her plate. "I don't really know. It doesn't seem like you would take kindly to strangers in your camp."

            He grinned roguishly. "Honey, when they're as pretty as you, _anyone would want a stranger to stay."_

            She felt a slight blush stain her cheeks. "That doesn't answer my question at all."

            "It wasn't really supposed to."

            She flipped her hair back and sighed. "Do you do this to every girl?"

            "No." He winked. "Only the pretty ones."

            "Ah." Hitomi concentrated on her fork, trying to ignore the handsome man in front of her. Allen was gorgeous, sure, but she didn't want to get involved. She didn't want to lose control of herself. She didn't want a chance to hurt again.

            "You know," he said contemplatively, "you're the hardest girl I've ever had to deal with. You really won't ever give me the time of day?"

            She shook her head, but with a slight smile on her face. Her gray-green eyes caught his, and a strain of impishness flashed through them. "I didn't mention anything about nighttime, though, did I?"

            Both his eyebrows raised in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as quickly.

            Hitomi laughed merrily. "I'm just joking with you, Allen." She almost laughed again at the way his expression lowered. "I'm not the only girl around here, after all," she winked. "Millerna's just over there. She probably needs a man's protection more than I do."

            Allen shrugged, but without the ease he usually applied. "She's not really my type."

            "Well, neither am I."

            He sighed. "I'm not going to get anywhere with you."

            "Good that you've realized that." Hitomi patted his arm. "Nothing against you personally, Allen. I just don't want to get into a serious relationship right now."

            "And if you ever do?" His cerulean eyes gleamed with hope.

            "We'll see."

*          *          *

            Hitomi finished folding the overhang tarp and sat down on the ground wearily. She felt so pitiful, tiring so easily. But all the bending over was irritating her burn. She squeezed her eyes shut. Would she ever be able to do anything without being reminded of the fire? Of the child, left crying in the flames?

            "Let me take that, Hitomi."

            "Gaddes." Hitomi stood, and smiled at Allen's second-in-command. "It's fine. I can carry it."

            He gave her his calm, easy-going smile. "Naw, it's alright, Princess. I'd be glad to take it for you. You can walk with me, if you like."

            She sighed wearily. "You guys treat me like an invalid."

            "Well, you still are," he said frankly.

            If anyone else had said that, she might've snapped at them. But because it was Gaddes, she merely fell into step with him. "So, why are we packing everything up?"

            "We're going to look for reinforcements in the outskirts of Fanelia."

            "Wasn't most of Fanelia burned?" she frowned thoughtfully.

            "Yes, but the people that survived have eked out an existence in the hills away from the capital. Many of them are thieves, smugglers, assassins."

            "We need help from _them_?"

            He smiled. "What are you trying to imply, Princess?"

            She shook her head. "Never mind. And why do all of you insist on calling me Princess? You don't even know who I am."

            "You act like royalty, with your stubborn streak that's got to be a mile wide," Gaddes said playfully. "Allen's begun to call you the 'Ice Princess' to us men."

            That made her laugh. "The poor thing. He can't get over the fact that all his coaxing and cajoling won't make me want to pursue him."

            "Well, to be honest, it's not a common thing for him. He'll have to become accustomed to it, though."

            "He certainly will," Hitomi said resolutely. "By the way, can I ride with you on the way to Fanelia?"

            Gaddes looked at her with surprise evident in his face. "Why would you want to do that?"

            She chuckled. "Because it's either going to be you or Allen, and I don't want to give him any false hopes." Of course, abstaining from temptation would also be helpful for her personally.

            "Oh." His face eased back into his familiar smile. "Alright."

            She pushed his hair back from his forehead like she would a little boy. "Come on, Gaddes," she grinned, "what did you think?"

*          *          *

            A glare sent the temptress scuttling for a new target.

            He remained sitting outside of the tavern alone, following the path of the Mystic Moon across the sky. The wind had a bite like ice tonight, though it was nearing summer already.

            He despised the company. He just wanted to think.

            Not that thinking ever really got him anywhere. But it didn't matter.

            He had control over his thoughts. He liked to have control.

            Hanging his head, he relinquished his thoughts over to the same topic that had been on his mind for weeks, sadly knowing his control was effectively gone. How was it that heat could be so hot that it felt like ice? That's how the fire had been. He remembered vividly what it had felt like to be in the flames. The panic in his lungs, the vague feeling of fire licking against his skin like greedy fingers clamoring for flesh, came back to his memory in intense detail. His face contorted with remembered pain, and once again he heard the cry of mental anguish that had drawn him into the flames.

            Where he'd saved her life.

*I'm trying my best guys J I hope you're enjoying it. I know, I tend to have a habit of ending chapters on cliff-hangers. I'll update ASAP*


	3. Smoke

Disclaimer: *sigh* I don't own it, alright?

Chapter 3: Smoke

            Hitomi sat at the round table with her arms crossed. "Why exactly am I here?" she asked Gaddes in a low voice.

            He shrugged. "I don't know. The Boss said you should be here though."

            She sniffed. "I'll bet he's just hoping people will recognize me, so he finds out more about me."

            Her companion raised his eyebrows. "So, will people recognize you?"

            "I don't know," she said truthfully, looking around the smoke-filled tavern. "What a seedy place this is," she murmured.

            "It's actually one of the more reputable establishments around here," Gaddes interjected.

            She slanted a look at him. "Are you listening to everything I say?"

            He just smiled at her crookedly.

            Allen was talking with some little man, a squat, stubby man with round glasses and a most peculiar face. She heard him address the stranger as "Mole Man", and knew him to be, by reputation, a remarkable thief. Discreetly, she checked her pockets to make sure she had nothing of value to be stolen. Then, just as a precaution, she patted her breastbone slightly to feel the pendant hanging there. That, of all things, was what she wanted to keep most.

            "He hasn't even come close yet, Princess," Gaddes said.

            Hitomi felt her cheeks heat. "Do you see everything that I do?" she demanded.

            "Mostly. You try to be discreet, but I notice."

            "Which means most other people probably do, too," she sighed. What a fool she was.

            He raised his eyebrows. "What is that supposed to mean?"

            "Oh!" She laughed quietly. "I didn't mean it in any wrong way, Gaddes. I'm sure you're more perceptive than other people. It's just that… I'm sure some other people are just as perceptive as you, too."

            He gave her a full-fledged grin. "I know what you meant. I just wanted to see you flounder for an explanation."

            She shoved him, moving him nowhere. "You're terrible."

            "I am, I really am."

            She shook her head, and then returned to the transaction before them. Allen was still arguing with the Mole Man about something concerning a price for information. Obviously, Allen thought it was worth much less than the Mole Man did.

            "My Lord," the Mole Man said in a whining tone, "the information I have given you surely is worth more than this paltry amount you have offered."

            "I am giving you what I deem it is worth," Allen said coldly, playboy-turned-businessman. "I haven't even seen this mystery warrior, much less heard enough information about him to be certain of whether he will be of use to me."

            "But I can show him to you!" the Mole Man burst out.

            Allen leaned slightly forward in his chair. "Really?" he queried, his eyes brightening. "Why didn't you mention this before?"

            "Because…" the thief began, "I…I wasn't sure if…"

            Allen cut him off with a wave of his hand. "I don't want to hear another of your tiresome explanations," he said long-sufferingly. "Just bring him to me."

            "I don't know if he will wish to speak with you, though, milord."

            Allen frowned deeply. "Then why did you even mention it?"

            Hitomi sighed as the bickering continued. She looked around the hazy tavern at the people standing and sitting. Several women of loose morals lounged with men of equally intense desires. Her eyes skimmed past these people, and settled on a man leaning against a post a few yards away from their table. He was looking down at the ground, locks of black hair covering his shadowed eyes. Curiously, Hitomi studied him, wondering what he was doing in a place like this. Was he really as disreputable as most people in this tavern were? He didn't appear to be. He was just shy of being lanky, obviously muscular, with a strong jaw line and broad shoulders. His shirt was a dusky red and barely laced at the chest. A sword hung from his hip as if it had grown there along with the rest of his body, and though his posture was one hinting at rest, his body practically hummed with repressed energy. His arms were crossed loosely, as if advertising to the world that should anyone attempt to bother him, he could move to respond in less time than it would take them to blink.

            His apparent cool competence unnerved her somewhat. If he was a thief, he would be one that would not be tampered with.

            She tore her gaze from his stone figure and returned it to the table, as Mole Man was finishing his description. "I don't know where he's come from," he said with that oily smile he wore so well, "but he is reliable and trustworthy. At least when he has given you his trust, that is. His history is hidden so well, he probably just appeared one day, full grown and cold to the core."

            Hitomi rolled her eyes at such a melodramatic description. Allen apparently shared her sentiment. "I don't want to hear folklore, Mole Man," he said impatiently. "I want to know the truth, and that's it."

            He bowed his head submissively. "Of course, milord," he continued, unabated. "I wouldn't dream of saying any more. I believe he will meet all that you require."

            Allen nodded. "Fine then. May we speak with him?"

            "Yes."

            The low voice came from the man leaning against the post. He straightened slightly and looked over at the group at the table.

            Hitomi felt shock course through her. This man was no thief. The hard emotionless edge within his cold brown eyes that was clear even through the smoke spoke of only one word to her – _assassin. She felt a shiver, hoping that his calculating gaze would never be turned on her with murder in their depths._

            Allen stood. "So you are the famed warrior we have heard of?"

            The man nodded, bluntly ignoring Allen's outstretched hand. "Van."

            "Come, sit with us," he said. "I have things I wish to discuss with you, if you will permit me."

            Van merely nodded again, and took the proffered seat next to Hitomi. Nervously, she scooted closer to Gaddes, but he only gave her a cursory glance before settling in.

            "We plan on making an attack on Dornkirk and his city," Allen began, consciously lowering his voice. "He has taken our homes and our lives, and we want revenge."

            Van's eyes glittered. "I see."

            "We know we need allies, however, and so that is where you come in."

            "How?"

            Allen looked at him intensely. "I am trained in the art of the sword. However, my training is only good in situations where there is honorable fighting. I have found now that the enemy is far from honorable. My men are the same way. We need a warrior from the fringe, someone who is used to…ah…unorthodox methods of countering the enemy. We need someone who will be able to think like our enemy and teach us how to."

            Van pointed to his chest. "Me."

            "Yes, you. Your reputation precedes you, Van. Your history may be as murky as the smoke that fills this tavern, but your present is as clear as crystal. You are feared and respected, and because of that, you are the one we need."

            "I see," he repeated.

            "We will pay you well, of course," Allen mentioned. "You will not be slighted in the least."

            Andove nodded, silently agreeing to Allen's request. "Alright."

            Allen's eyebrows rose briefly, surprised at Van's easy acquiescence to his offer. But he knew better than to argue an outcome he had been striving for. "Excellent. Will there be anything you will need to bring along?"

            "One thing." His eyes looked beyond the table, silently calling…someone.

            A cat-girl suddenly appeared by his side, holding on to him as if he were her last breath. "Merle."

            She rubbed her face against his neck affectionately. "Van-sama saved me," she said quietly. "He saved me. I go with him wherever he goes."

            Hitomi looked curiously at the pink-haired cat-girl. How she could be fond of this cold-blooded killer, she didn't understand at all. She was scared to breathe around Van, much less even imagine touching him with such childish warmth.

            He turned to look at her, mahogany eyes piercing through her. An eyebrow rose, but what it meant, she could not really determine, and wasn't sure she wanted to. She couldn't hold his gaze long. "I'm Hitomi," she stuttered, looking at her hands twined in her lap.

            Gaddes nodded to him in manly greeting, saving her from further questions. "Gaddes, the Boss's second-in-command." He continued the introductions around the table, but all the while Hitomi could still feel Van's cold gaze on her, prickling her skin with goose bumps. _Please, please, don't let him ever want to kill me, she prayed silently._

             Allen stood, a signal to the rest of the table to do so as well. "We'd better be off, Van. You have a horse?"

            He nodded.

            "Good. We'll ride out tonight to find a good campsite. Saddle up, men."

            "Aw, come on, Boss," one of the men complained. "We ain't had time yet for any fun!"  
            "Yeah," another agreed. "All I got is me one glass of whiskey."

            Allen sternly stared down his men, his blue eyes frosty with command. "We ride out tonight," he repeated. The men reluctantly agreed.

            Hitomi walked out of the tavern, rubbing her arms to try and dispel the chill of Van's gaze. Once seated with Gaddes, she allowed herself the opportunity to keep observing him in the pale light of the moon, hoping he wouldn't be able to notice her scrutiny. The eerie shadows left his eyes unseen again, which softened his countenance somewhat, though his face was far too angular to ever truly be softened. His hair fell over his face as well, looking like he never bothered to really comb it. It shone almost blue in the moonlight, a halo ironically surrounding his head. Hitomi would have laughed if she didn't think he would know exactly what she was laughing at and kill her with the daggers of his gaze.

            As they started out, she looked up at the faint stars veiled by smoky gray clouds and felt a chill once more as she recalled his steely gaze, reflecting a frozen heart.

* : ) Hope you guys like that hehe. Thanks all for your great reviews, and keep 'em coming, they're what kept me writing…don't be expecting chapter 4 as quickly as I did the first three, though…I still have other things to do in my life, y'know. : ) *


	4. Whirlwind

Disclaimer: not mine.

Chapter 4: Whirlwind

            Hitomi was awakened rudely by the disconcerting feeling of someone watching her in her sleep. Opening her eyes, she looked up into feline orbs glowing in the night and nearly shrieked.

            "Will you shut up?" Merle hissed, slightly startled herself at Hitomi's reaction.     

            Hitomi pressed her hand to her heart. "Wha-What are you doing?" she demanded, trying to regain some semblance of dignity as she cleared her sleep-fogged brain.

            The cat creature licked her paw daintily. "I was just curious about you," she said delicately, pushing her brilliant pink hair back from her forehead. "You're a strange girl, you know that?"

            Hitomi frowned. "Why are you watching me in the middle of the night?"

            "I was curious," she repeated.

            The girl shook her head angrily. "Don't do that again."

            "Sheesh, you'd think I was trying to steal from you," Merle muttered, and then swiped her pendant off her neck in the blink of an eye. "Hey, what's this?"

            "Give me that!" Hitomi grabbed for the pendant, missing as Merle scampered out of reach in the open-walled tent. Angrily, she tore the covers away from herself and chased the cat-girl out into the crisp, midnight air. "Give me my pendant, you cat-burglar!" she yelled, uncaring of whether she woke anyone up now or not.

            Merle just giggled, and kept running on all fours.

            Hitomi's legs pumped steadily, and to the culprit's consternation, she was rapidly gaining ground. The girl took a flying leap onto the cat-girl, tumbling onto the grass in a whirlwind of arms, legs, claws, and tail. Merle was surprised to find Hitomi had a wicked fist, and was soon lying on the ground, no longer in possession of the curious object, having easily given it up in place of pain.

            Hitomi glared at her, a scratch on her cheek faintly evident in the moonlight. Her chest heaved from exertion, and once again her burn was acting up. "Don't take what's mine," she said coldly, hiding the panic that had set in her heart. Resolutely reclasping the pendant around her neck and holding it briefly within her palm, she reached out a hand to help Merle up.

            Rubbing her cheek, pride wounded as well, Merle grudgingly accepted the help. "Sheesh, I was just curious," she whined petulantly.

            "Curiosity killed the cat," Hitomi said dead-pan.

            "Oh, shut up," she growled sullenly.

            The brown-haired girl waited until her heartbeat had begun to resume its normal rhythm. "You know, all you had to do was ask," she said seriously.

            Merle lifted an eyebrow, taking her up on her statement. "Then what is it?"

            "A gift from my grandmother."

            Her ears perked up. "Really? Does it do anything special?"

            "Every time it swings is equal to one second. And it…well, it's really silly…" She trailed off, not wanting to continue.

            "Aw, come on!" Merle protested. "Keep going! You're just about to get interesting!"

            She felt her cheeks warm slightly. "I was told to believe in the power of my wishes and dreams. If I wished hard enough, they could come true."

            Merle scoffed. "I've wished for many things, and none of them ever came true!"

            Hitomi's deep green eyes looked longingly to the heavens. "So have I…" she said quietly.

            "Merle?" At the sound of a man's voice, Hitomi stiffened, and whirled to find Van looking at them with the blade-edge in his eye that seemed to be ever-present. He looked over to the pink-haired girl beside her, and Hitomi could have sworn his eyes softened ever so slightly. But it must've been the starlight. His mouth flattened severly, and when Hitomi followed his gaze, she saw that Merle's black eye was obvious even in the darkness. "Your eye!"

            "Van-sama!" Merle rushed into his arms, cuddling so close to him that if she were any closer she would've been on the other side of him.

            He frowned, and looked back to Hitomi accusingly, questioning with his eyes. Despite Merle's clinging grasp, Van didn't touch her in any other way.

            She crossed her arms defiantly, tossing her head back. "She took something from me," she stated firmly. "I was just getting it back."

            As Van's eyes remained on her form longer than they should have, Hitomi realized with a shiver that she was only clad in her nightclothes, a clingy dress that reached just above her knees, with thin straps over her shoulders. Stinging heat crept up her neck into her cheeks, and she felt ten times a fool for being embarrassed over something so meaningless. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, cursing herself vehemently. Immediately, she changed her mind. "I take it back," she said stubbornly at his speculative look. "I'm not sorry. Good night."

            Praying frantically that he wouldn't notice her discomfort, she spun to head back in the direction of her sleeping mat. Her step faltered for a moment when Van said dryly, "I'd put some salve on that scratch if I were you."

            She refused to let him have the last word or the upper hand. "So the barbarian _can speak in full sentences," she tossed over her shoulder sardonically as she continued her normal gait. "I'd been wondering whether you were educated enough to be able to do that."_

*          *          *

            He was thinking of her again. The girl he had saved from the fire. Would she never be gone from his mind? He hadn't even known her, hadn't even been able to gaze at her face for a sufficient time to adequately engrave her features in his memory.

            Yet somehow, she was burned into his soul. Her very essence caused torrents of emotions that had no right to exist cascading over his heart in a liquid whirlwind of foreign feelings and impulses.

            She would never remember him, though. He knew this as well as he knew how much he'd fallen for the beautiful stranger. She had not been conscious when he'd found her, had never been given a chance to rest her eyes upon his face as he had done with her.

            Holding his head in his hands, he wondered whether he would ever be able to truly find peace.

*          *          *

            Hitomi toyed with the food on her plate, subconsciously fingering the scratch along her cheek.

            "If you keep messing around with your food like that, you'll waste away to nothing," Allen teased with a roguish grin, sliding into the seat across from her.

            Her eyes focused back on him, automatically dropping her hand to her lap. "Oh. Hey."

            The corners of his mouth turned down slightly as he observed her face. "What happened to your cheek?"

            "Oh. Uh…a bush," she said on impulse, for some reason wanting to avoid causing trouble for Merle.

            "Van-sama, look!"

            Speak of the devil.

            The she-cat bounded into the mess tent with energy that no one should have possessed at that hour of the morning, pointing to the corner where Millerna was finishing her meal preparations for the camp. Hitomi watched as she chatted gaily to her master, while he remained as stonily still as she was animate. On second thought, _she _wasn't so much the devil as _Van_ was.

Allen stood up and motioned toward the table where he sat with Hitomi. "Van, over here!"

            The dark-haired man acknowledged slightly, and dragged Merle over. Hitomi hid her face, groaning inwardly at this horrible twist of bad luck. She'd wanted to avoid Van as much as possible, but it looked like another one of her wishes was doomed to failure. Whoever had said that nonsense to her about wishes deserved to be shot, she thought with a bitter twist of her lip.

            "Hitomi!" Merle pounded on her back with a greeting that was heavy enough to tell Hitomi what the cat really thought of her welfare. "Sleep well?"

            "Like a baby," she said, sarcasm faintly lacing her tone.

            No one seemed to notice her discomfort.

            "So, how did you sleep, Van?" Allen asked congenially, while busily wolfing down his breakfast.

            Van bared a humorless smile. "Oh, I had some…interesting dreams," he said, looking at Hitomi with barely veiled suggestion in his distant, dark eyes.

            She glared back at him as she felt her cheeks warm, desperately wanting to shoot verbal abuse back at him, but also not wanting Allen to catch a hint of anything. "I'm sure you did," she said icily, lifting an eyebrow imperiously. "Don't suppose you got lucky, though."

            He raised both of his eyebrows back. "You never know," he said slowly, in the precise tone to prick her ire.

            When Hitomi was sure Allen was occupied enough with his meal to not notice, she hissed, "You're despicable."

            "That I may be, _Princess_," he said derisively under his breath, "but at least I don't make a pretense about what I am."

            Her mouth dropped open. "What do you mean?" she demanded, trying to contain her indignation.

            His face twisted into a false look of concern. "Princess, you need to put something on that scratch," he said in a louder voice, mockingly tender as he traced his fingers down her wound. "We wouldn't want your pretty face to be marred forever, now would we?"

            She twisted her face away from his insincere ministrations. "I wouldn't want you to trouble yourself worrying about that." Hitomi tried to school her voice to remain cordially distant within earshot of Allen and Merle. "But since you seem to care so much," she continued, inwardly chafing at the tame words she was forced to use, "I'll go attend to it now." Rising before Van could antagonize her further, she nodded to the people around her with a cheerful smile plastered on her face. "I'll be seeing you all later."

            As she walked away, she couldn't help overhearing Allen's startled voice saying, "Merle, what happened to your eye?"

            And her tongue-in-cheek reply. "Oh, I…ran into something." 

*          *          *

            Hitomi buried her head in her arms. She was normally not so bad about losing her temper. But every time Van looked at her in that…that…_infuriating_ manner, she couldn't stop herself. He was just so… She didn't know what he was. He was like all things unclassified, as unpredictable as a spring shower. One moment, he was looking at her in such a way as to turn her innards to ice in fear; the next, his aggravating smile would be stirring up the fires of her temper. Did the man have a kind bone of any sort in his body?

            She sighed wearily, pushing her straight brown hair back from her temple. This whirlwind of reactions was probably just a response to her memory, or lack thereof. Sometimes things seemed so tangible, so close… Like when she'd spoken with Merle the night before. She'd known the pendant had been her grandmother's, had known that someone in her past had spoken of the power of wishes, but it was all trapped in a haze that Hitomi could not manage to push her way through. It never quite seemed to make lucid sense. She wouldn't accept any help from anyone else, because how _could_ they help? They didn't know her, and they didn't know her past. So she continued searching within her for the answers, always ending up frustrated when she could never totally decipher the mysteries within her mind.

            At least Van wasn't quite so hard to figure out. He was cruel, heartless, and obviously uncaring about anyone but himself. In fact, she thought with a faint smile, he probably didn't even really care about himself that much. He seemed like the type to throw his life away with a brash decision or careless duel. With a shrug to herself, she plucked a spring wildflower from the ground. It wasn't her business to wonder about him anyway, she told herself. He would bring her nothing but trouble. And _that_, she had enough of already.

* :-D Yeah I've got the ideas running through my mind like wildfire ever since I started, if you don't mind the pun ;) *  
* Thanks all for your little notes of encouragement. I like knowing that people enjoy reading these silly things that spout from my mind. *

*EDITED: yeah heh….so I wrote this around 1 in the morning…definitely needed some touching up : ) at least according to my perfectionist mindset…all I gotta say is _woohoo_ to the Thesaurus!! ;) Heh, not allll my fancy words are derived from there of course…but sometimes…;) Hey, I use what I got in front of me*


	5. Tension

Disclaimer: don't own it.

Chapter 5: Tension

            Concentration.

            The wind ruffled her hair, but she didn't notice.

            Tension.

            She could feel her muscles strain, but hold strong.

            Aim.

            Her eyes didn't move.

            Release.

            Her mouth curved in a smug smile of satisfaction as the arrow wobbled in the middle of the bulls-eye. 

            Hefting the bow up experimentally, Hitomi twanged the taut string idly. Though she may not remember much of her past, she did remember this. Or at least, she remembered her skills.

            Blowing the hair out of her eyes, she trudged over to retrieve the arrow imbedded in the rough bark of the tree. She didn't understand how it all worked. She couldn't remember anything with clarity about her past, except that she had had a family, she had lost them in a fire, and she was now alone. But for some reason, she had retained all her skills without knowledge as to why she had them.

            She couldn't think of anything quite as frustrating as that.

            Besides Van, of course.

            She gritted her teeth. He had been instigating her ever since he came to the camp. She couldn't take much more of his boorish remarks. Several times she had been tempted to slap him, but stubbornly refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing he could affect her so strongly.

            Placing the arrow onto the string, she carefully aimed at her target again. She could just see him… Cold eyes, scruffy hair, sardonic smile. She aimed right for the middle of his forehead and let the arrow fly.

            Figures. She couldn't hit him properly with verbal abuses, so why should a bow and arrow make much difference?

            Prying the arrow out of the wood again, she backed up a few paces to lengthen her distance. She could still remember vividly the night before:

*          *          *

            Allen stood beside her, watching the sunset.

            "It's beautiful," she said softly.

            She felt rather than saw him look her way. "Not as beautiful as you."

            "That's such a tired line, Allen," she teased. "You could try and come up with something more original."

            "You can't get very original when it's the truth."

            Hitomi slanted a look over at him. "Be serious."

            "I am."

            And judging by the look on his face, he really was.

"Allen, I told you, I don't want a serious relationship."

            "Why be serious then?"

            She shook her head adamantly. "I don't want a fling either."

            "Then what _do you want?"_

_            I want my memory back!!_ she almost screamed within her head. But she concealed it all behind a mask of gentle refusal. "Allen, it's not like I've made a secret about all this." She laid a kind hand on his arm, and moved a little closer. "I told you when you first started with all this that I wanted nothing but friendship."

            His eyes were as solemn as she had ever seen them. "Things change, Hitomi."

            "Well, I haven't." She pleaded with him, "Why can't you get over me? It's not like you knew me all that long anyway. It's impossible that you would be so hung up over me."

Sighing, he traced her cheek with his fingertips. Hitomi let him, neither encouraging nor objecting to his actions. "Sometimes, the impossible happens," he murmured endearingly.

            She almost wished sometimes that she had the courage to be able to accept his numerous offers. "I'm sorry, Allen," she said reprovingly. "But you're wasting your time with me." She pulled away from him, hoping he would take the rejection like she meant it: with regret but resolution. "It's not just you," she added as a consolation. "I would say the same to anyone who asked me."

            He smiled sadly into her eyes. "I understand." His tone of voice was ambivalent, but she hoped and prayed that he truly wasn't _that_ set on her. She cared for him, certainly. She didn't want him to be hurt by the likes of her.

            He silently began to walk away, but stopped and said, "Hitomi, if you ever change your mind…remember me."

            She bit her lip, staring hard at the rose-streaked sky. "I will," she replied quietly.

            With a nod, he left her alone.

            She sighed as a star winked in the blue sky. The first of the night, the one that was always called the 'wishing star.' With a humorless laugh, she mumbled, "I wish that I would figure everything out."

            Of course, wishing was futile. She wasn't so naïve as to believe in what someone had told her ages ago.

            Gaddes appeared beside her, and she welcomed him with a wide smile. "Gaddes!" She gave him a short hug, and then beckoned for him to sit beside her.

            He did so, but said, "I can't stay long, Princess."

            Whenever he called her that, he said it with such a gentle humor that she couldn't help but smile. "That's alright," she said lightly.

            Settling his arms on his raised knees, he said, "You told him off, didn't you?"

            Hitomi frowned slightly. "I didn't 'tell him off.'"

            "But you told him to forget about you."

            She sighed. "I've been telling him that ever since I met him." She shook her head. "I only made it as clear as I could."

            "I've never seen him like that," he mused. "I've never seen him so affected by a girl."

            She raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

            "Not at all." He grinned. "One might think you were regretting what you said."

            "Not regretting what I said, necessarily," she responded, only lying a little. "More like regretting hurting him. I wish he'd have listened to me a while ago."

            "He's pretty hard-headed, as I'm sure you know. But then, so are you."

            "Hey!" She bumped his shoulder companionably with her own. "That's not very nice at all."

            "But it's true. If it weren't, could I do this?" He grabbed her and ruffled her hair with his fist.

            "Ow, ow!" she yelped, giggling as she tried to escape his grip. "That hurts, you jerk!"

            His baritone laugh echoed grandly. "See what I mean, Princess?"

            "That's not very nice," she repeated huffily, smiling despite it all. "You're always so mean to me."

            "Someone has to be," he said with a wink. "If not, you'd get spoiled."

            "I would not," she objected.

            His smile crinkled his eyes at the corners. "Whatever you say, Princess." Glancing backwards, he said regretfully, "I have to go now. Don't stay out here too late, alright? I don't want you getting kidnapped or any such nonsense. Allen will have my head if you ever get hurt or go missing."

            "Don't worry about me, Gaddes. I'll be fine."

            "Stay close."

            He left her alone with her thoughts. The sky had darkened to a deep violet, more stars twinkling merrily in the sky. She twirled a piece of grass in her fingers absently.

            "You've got them all running rings around you, don't you?"

            She started at the dark voice behind her, and turned to look at the intruder.

            "What are you doing here?" she asked, making no attempt to conceal her dislike.

            Van stood slightly behind her, staring at her with expressionless eyes. "It's really amazing," he went on, "that none of these guys realizes what you are."

            Her eyes widened. "What I am?"

            "Yeah."

            "What exactly are you trying to tell me?"

            "Are you that dense?"

            "Well, if you weren't so obscure, I would be fine," she retorted.

            "I figure you've been like this for so long that you automatically do it now."

            "Do what?"

            He raised an eyebrow mockingly. "So, have you kept count of how many hearts you have on that little string of yours?"

            Her eyes flashed. "Are you trying to call me a…a…" The word was too distasteful to her lips. He gave her no reason to believe he meant otherwise. "Why you, you…" She trembled with suppressed insult, and stood as slow as she could, so that she would not have to look so high up at him. "You...you bastard!!"

            His grin was vicious. "That was pretty good," he said blandly. "But don't you think I've gotten called worse?"

            Hitomi glared at him. "You have no idea who I am or what I do," she told him in a clipped, tight tone. "Please, just leave me alone." She whirled away to leave him in the dust.

            His sarcastic chuckle spurred her to move quicker away from him, as if running from temptation itself.

_*          *          *_

            She wished she had hit him. It shouldn't have mattered whether personal pride or ethics were on the line. He deserved a good smack.

            The nerve of him…to think that of her!

            Hitomi let go of the arrow and missed again. Growling with frustration, she plucked the arrow out of the wood. He could mess her up even when he wasn't around.

            Holding the bow and arrow with one hand, she pulled the pendant off of her neck with the other. Dangling it in front of her, she wondered vaguely if wishing with it would help her aim, or concentration. She could feel the tension in the air, could feel it pressing down on her. How was it he managed to infuriate her so with just a memory?

            The pendant swung to and fro, then abruptly was pulled to the side by something and kept there.

            In reflex, she dropped the pendant and before she knew it, she let the arrow whiz in the direction her pendant had pointed.

            A man jerked away, startled by the arrow that had flew past just under his ear.

            Hitomi felt her heart stop, and stared in shock at the tall stranger.

            Curiously handsome, he stood with his legs spread in a steady position, his silvery hair glistening in the sunlight. His deep red eyes glowed with some inner fire that she could not guess at. His mouth was twisted in a sneer ten times that of Van's expression. Fear curled in her belly, and she frantically searched for another arrow near her. _Fool!_ she berated herself, _where did you put them?_

In an instant he was beside her, holding her arm with an iron grip, saying, "Let's make this easy, shall we?"

            Twisting out of his grasp, she landed a punch on his face that made him back away momentarily. "We have a she-cat here, do we?" he said tauntingly. "It's no matter. I've dealt with your kind before. After a little persuasion, you'll learn not to complicate matters."

            He drew his sword, and she swung her bow up with what she hoped was a defensive posture. As he brought his sword down upon her head, the man's evil chuckle reverberated in her skull. She knew nothing of swordplay, and could feel hopelessness descend on her. Her arms couldn't hold long against the pressure he was exerting against her bow. She would lose; there was no way she had the skills to win. But by God, she would go down fighting to the very end!

            The pressure of the man's sword was suddenly lifted, and Carina stumbled forward slightly. Her eyes followed a blur of red and black as the silver-haired man fell back into a counter-attack. This…this demon, whoever he was…he _was a match for the stranger. With blinding swiftness, the battle unfolded, dazzling her eyes and taking her breath away._

            The silver-haired man laughed wickedly, and said mockingly to his opponent, "I won't waste my time on the likes of you, _Dragon_." He spat the name like it was poison. "I want the girl. And I'll get her. Eventually. In the meantime, you can _burn in Hell for all I care! But only if I get to be the one that puts you there!"_

            He disappeared into the foliage as abruptly as he had come, and the tension that was in her chest dissipated. She let out a breath she had been holding.

            Van turned, his heavy breathing making his strong chest go up and down. His eyes were hard and emotionless. "Are you alright?"

            "Y-yes." Hitomi closed her mouth nervously. "Uh…thank you."

            His mouth twitched. "You're lucky I came," he stated. "If I hadn't shown up, you would have been captured for sure, probably beaten, maybe eventually killed, but only after Zaibach had used you for whatever devious purposes they need you for." Sliding his sword back into its sheath, he remarked, "You owe me big."

            If he hadn't just saved her life, she would've hit him. "Good Lord, you're absolutely insufferable!" she exclaimed. "All you had to say was 'you're welcome.' It's not like I _asked _you to come rescue me, you pompous, arrogant windbag!"

            He raised an eyebrow. "Did I ever claim I was anything else?" he said frankly.

            She bit the inside of her cheek. Was there any insult that could get through to this man?

            "At least I have no illusions about who I am," he said off-hand.

            "And I do, I suppose?" she queried, displaying as little interest as she could possibly manage.

            "Of course."

            Her eyes burned. "What am I, then?"

            "A flirt and an extortionist."

            "A _what?_"

            He calmly repeated what he said, and then explained, "I saw you last night."

            She chuckled wryly. "Well then, that's enough proof that I'm _not a flirt."_

            "Oh really?"

            "Weren't you listening to what I said, or were you just watching?" she asked peevishly. "I'd think if you were going to spy, you would go all the way."

            His eyes seemed to flatten at that. "Oh, I was doing both," he assured her darkly.

            She crossed her arms. "Didn't you hear me tell Allen to back off then? How am I a flirt by saying that?"

            "It's not what you said. It's what you did."

            "Then what did I do?"

            "I'll show you."

            With a sly smile, he slowly walked to a position directly in front of her. Tilting his head downward so he would have to look up into her eyes, he imitated in falsetto, "It's not like I made a secret of it to you." He moved stiflingly closer, placing his hand gently on her arm, feeling her jerk a little at his touch. "Oh, Allen, why can't you just get over me?"

            She could feel the tension in her gut like a suppressed spring. "I didn't say it like that!" she muttered, jerking her arm away from his hand.

            "Maybe not," he conceded without malice. "But that's exactly what you _did."_

            "So?" She frowned.

            "Your actions sure didn't seem like you were pushing him away." Pursing his lips together in thought, he mumbled, "I wonder…"

            He traced his fingers down her cheek for a brief second before she pulled her head back sharply, away from his reach. "Don't do that," she breathed sharply.

            "I knew it!" he crowed. "See? _That's_ rejection. Your response to him didn't even come close."

            "I–" She cut off her words, unable to think of a rejoinder to his declaration. "Well, I… Well, you're different."

            "How so?"

            She sniffed. "We're not like you."

            "As in 'we' I assume you mean Allen's paltry band of rebels?"

            She glared at him. "And you said I was dense?"

            "How am I different?"

            "You just are."

            "You all are outlaws, correct? Like me."

            "Yes. But we didn't do anything wrong," she said pointedly.

            His mouth curved in his familiar smirk. "You opposed Zaibach's plan for a controlled destiny, correct?"

            "Well, yes. But…"

            "Then you _did do something wrong. According to Zaibach."_

            She threw up her hands in disgust as the tension in her belly burst forth in words. "I give up! Fine, Van. You want the truth, then? I'll give you the plain truth. I don't trust you, I don't appreciate you, and I don't like you! Okay? That's it. Allen may like you, but I won't. I'll never like you. You're a cold, heartless human that preys upon the weaker for enjoyment. You never pass up the opportunity to say something loathsome, sarcastic, and/or completely unnecessary! You stubborn, pig-headed idiot, I've been trying my hardest to be nice to you!"

            "Well, you're not doing a very good job," he said dryly.

            "See?" She waggled her finger at him. "That's why I'm not. It's your needless, insensitive comments that provoke me. It's your fault!"

            "_My _fault?" A faint flicker of emotion began to simmer within his mahogany eyes. "Listen, _Princess-"_

            "Why do you call me that?" she interrupted. "Only Allen and Gaddes have ever called me that." And they had never held a trace of contempt within their voice when they called her that either. "I don't want _you to call me that. How did you know about it?"_

            "I didn't." He shrugged. "I called you that because that's what you acted like. A spoiled, delicate, good-for-nothing _princess."_

            "Your opinion of nobility is a rather dour one, Van."

            "Yeah, well, let's just say experience does wonders for opinions," he muttered.

            Hitomi looked at him curiously for a moment, and then said, "Why did you even come out here?"

            "Allen was looking for you," he said grudgingly. "He said you might be here." Regaining some of his characteristic sarcasm, he picked up her bow and said, "Playing with the big people's toys now, are we?"

            She felt her face flush. "I wasn't 'playing,'" she fumed. "I was practicing."

            "Oh really."

            She could tell he didn't believe her, but she didn't really care anymore. "I'm tired of dealing with you," she sighed, holding her forehead with her hand. "You give me a headache. Leave me alone."

            "You think you can order me around, Princess?"

            She plucked the bow from his hands and rolled her eyes. "No," she said simply. "I'm just _asking you. Please. Leave me alone."_

*wow long one :-D I couldn't stop it though…don't you love it when everything just…_works?*_

*Hehe, after reading some of your guys' reviews I just gotta say…bear with me for a little : ) I _do _have a plan…and I'm just trying to get there…which is why the chapters are popping out so quick. Don't jump to any conclusions too quick…you never know when something pivotal might happen ; ) There's clues in there…Happy reading! Next two chapters may come out simultaneously…we'll see…*


	6. Sparks

Disclaimer: don't own it.

Chapter 6: Sparks

            "So it was Dilandau?"

            "Yes," Van said, slouching on a chair beside Allen in the main tent. He didn't feel particularly inclined to tell Allen that Dilandau had also recognized him. "I would suggest sending a patrol, or several patrols, in a 2 mile radius around the camp, in case he is still waiting somewhere. Better to be safe than sorry."

The older man nodded. "I agree," he said. "You will be going as well, of course."

"Of course." The warrior straightened his posture slightly in unrest. "He wanted something with Hitomi, but I don't know what."

            Allen sighed. "Neither do I," he said grimly. "I don't know anything about her past at all."

            Van frowned. "How can you not?" he asked. "Hasn't she been living with your little band of hoodlums?"

            Allen gave him a quelling look at Van's description of his company. "She hasn't been with us that long," he explained. "We took her in because we found her unconscious, nearly dead, one night a few weeks ago."

            Nothing in Van's eyes changed, but then, nothing ever seemed to. "I see."

            "Maybe you could find out where she's from," the blond-haired man suggested.

            Van gave a harsh laugh. "Hardly. I was lucky to find out what she really thought of me."

            Allen raised his eyebrows. "What's that?" he asked curiously.

            Van shrugged. "She hates me," he said dispassionately.

            A faint look of relief passed through Allen's eyes. "Well, she doesn't like me much either," he admitted, looking off to the side.

            Van studied him curiously. "Are you in love with her?"

            Allen frowned at him. "I don't know that I want to talk about my personal life with you. After all-"

            "Allen." The black-haired warrior stared the other down, intimidating him with sheer obstinacy. "Do you love her?"

            "Of course I care for her," Allen said obtusely.

            "Love, Allen. I said _love_."

            Allen shrugged. "How can I know it's love?" he asked helplessly. "She can't return my feelings at all, apparently. How can I fall in love like that? Besides, I barely know her."

            Van's mouth flattened. "You can be in love without the other person loving you back," he said in monotone. "And you don't necessarily need a long history to know it is love. You better decide whether you love her or not. And if you do…" he almost grimaced, "you better chase her down and make sure she knows it."

            Allen stared off into the distance, contemplating his feelings.

            Van really despised giving pep talks about relationships. Like he had ever been successful in any. He almost laughed with the irony, but suppressed the urge. Allen probably wouldn't take it very well if he started laughing at random. Most likely he would take offense from his whole high-and-mighty routine that he seemed so fond of. Van hoped Hitomi wouldn't hate him too much for spurring Allen's feelings…but he could understand Allen's confusion. He only wished it could have been so easy for him.

*          *          *

            "Hitomi?"

            She turned and smiled at the blonde knight. "Allen. How are you?"

            "Fine, fine," he said, displaying his charming smile. "I wanted to apologize for earlier today."

            "For what?"

            "For allowing that to happen."

            "What…the attack? It wasn't your fault."

            "I feel like it was," Allen said solemnly. "I should've been there to protect you."

            "Allen, you can't follow me around all the time, protecting me from every little thing that might attempt to hurt me."

            "I wish I could."

            She sighed. "Please, Allen…"

            "Hitomi…" He looked imploringly into her eyes, and promised, "I'll always protect you. By my honor as a knight. Always."

            She smiled softly, relinquishing her emotional distance. "That's sweet, Allen," she said, giving him a friendly hug that he returned heartily.

            Van came back from his search to find Allen and Hitomi embracing outside of the mess tent. With a shrug, he thought ruefully that it was a pity his advice worked for someone else but not for him. He walked away, leaving the two lovers to their devices.

            "I love you, Hitomi."

            She let go abruptly. "Allen," she said sternly, physically removing his arms from around her. "I already told you about this. Don't you listen at all?"

            His eyes were wounded. "I can't help it," he said sincerely. "With you, I feel at peace. I don't know why that is. I can't understand it."

            "Allen, can I make this any clearer?" Now she was panicking. She could like him, certainly, but she wasn't even _close _to loving him! "I don't love you like that. I don't know if I ever will. It's too soon, it's too much."

            "Time isn't necessary," Allen stated. "All you need is love."

            "No!" Hitomi let out a breath in frustration. "Allen, what can I possibly do or tell you to make you understand?"

            "You sure fooled me, Hitomi," he said, a spark of resentment in his eyes replacing the entreaty.

            "What?"

            "All the things you did. You sure know how to fool a guy."

            She felt her face flush as she remembered Van's words earlier. "Allen, you just took what I did too seriously. I-"

            "That embrace sure seemed like it meant something," he muttered bitterly. "The way you would rest your hand on my arm…"

            "No, I mean…" Her words stumbled, trying to make any sense. "I mean…I meant that hug…just like a friend. Understand? Like I would do for Gaddes, or…or… And whenever I touched you or got close…it wasn't because I was trying to _entice _you or anything…I mean…I'm not like that!"

            Allen nodded unconvincingly. "So my love means nothing to you?"

            She could feel foolish tears burning behind her eyes. "It's not that it means nothing," she tried to explain. "It's that…I can't return it."

            "Can't, or won't?"

            Biting her lip, she admitted, "Both."

            He pursed his lips. "Is there any way at all that I might…have a chance? Anything I could do?"

            "It's not that easy, Allen. You don't understand."

"Then make me understand!"

She closed her eyes beseechingly. "Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is."

            "I think that's where you're mistaken, Hitomi," the knight said dully. "It could _never be harder for you than it is for me."_

            Hitomi watched him walk away from her with brisk strides that discouraged any hope of catching up to him. What could she do? What could she say? She'd wanted to avoid this very thing, but instead, had instigated it. _I'm such a fool, she thought wearily. __All he's ever done is be kind, and I led him on to believe that he had a chance, when I was only being friendly. I thought, like Gaddes, he would see what I really meant by it…_

            She held her head in her hands. How was it she managed to destroy everything in her life?

*          *          *

            "You failed."

            "It's not my fault." The silver-haired man hissed angrily. "She had a protector. The _dragon_."

            His master raised an eyebrow. "You still harbor resentment?"

            "Of course I do!" he burst out. "Don't you?"

            His face hardened. "That's not your concern," he said in a low, commanding voice. He turned to the viewscreen, his cloak billowing magnificently. "We need her. You must find a way to apprehend her, Dilandau. I'm relying on you to do this." He turned his reddish eyes on the underling coldly. "Don't fail me."

            Amazingly, Dilandau shrunk back slightly. "Yes, Folken-sama."

*          *          *

            Hitomi couldn't eat again. She sat alone, resting her cheek against her fist, and absently played with the food, trying to see how many arrangements she could make on her plate.

            "What are you doing, trying to lose weight?"

            Her eyes looked up into Merle's bright blue ones. She chewed on a piece of bread without inhibition. "It's not like you're _fat_," she said frankly.

            Hitomi sighed. "I'm not trying to lose weight or anything," she said softly. "I just don't feel like eating."

            "You'll get sick, you know. You should eat. I'm sure Allen wouldn't like it to see you like this," she hinted with a wink.

            Hitomi shrugged listlessly. "I'm sure he doesn't care."

            Merle frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she demanded.

            "You better not get too close to me, Merle," she said with a lackluster tone. "I'll probably just end up hurting you, too."

            "No you wouldn't," the cat-girl scoffed. "I'd hurt _you _before you could ever hurt me!"

            "Well, _that's comforting," she muttered sarcastically._

            Merle picked a piece of meat off of Hitomi's plate and ate it. "So what's wrong?" she asked, her mouth full.

            The brown-haired girl grimaced a little at her lack of manners, but just said, "I screw everything up, that's all. I don't know why I do. But everything's my fault."

            "Geez, you're so boring!" she exclaimed. "You don't do much of anything, so how can you screw everything up?"

            The other's eyes flashed. "You have no idea what I've been through," she said calmly. "You don't know anything about me."

            "Not like you'd tell me," Merle poked at her with her claw. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong with you?"

            "Nothing's wrong with me!" she replied indignantly.

            "But you just said something was."  
            "No, I said…" She turned away from her blue eyes. "It's different."

            "How is it different?" Merle demanded.

            "Shut up!" Hitomi exploded. "I'm not going to tell anyone, and certainly not a nosy little pink-haired _cat_."

            Merle growled like a wounded kitten and wrinkled her nose. "Fine." She bounded off like lightening away from the table, causing Hitomi to groan in dismay. She'd done it again. Something must be wrong with her. She couldn't do much of anything right. Leaving the plate where it was, she got up and exited the mess tent, looking for solitude where she couldn't hurt anyone else.

*          *          *

            Hugging herself against the pain, she found herself looking up at the glistening stars once more. The pain in her belly was almost unbearable. Millerna said that the wound had healed completely, so why did the pain keep coming back? Now, not even salve could help her. She just had to wait it out, enduring the discomfort until it faded.

            Hitomi pulled the baggy shirt tighter around her over her nightdress. Why was the wind still cold at night? She was having such a horrible time as of late, and couldn't fathom why.

            It had started when Van had come.

            It must be his fault. She closed her eyes as she remembered her earlier accusation with shame. It wasn't his entire fault, of course, she amended, but it was definitely curious that all of her turmoil really began in earnest when he showed up.

            "So, you're back out here again?"

            She flinched as the voice echoed in her head. "Van, you don't listen well at all."

            "What do you mean?"

            Opening her eyes, she looked at him wearily. "I told you to leave me alone. Several times. On several occasions. For several different reasons."

            "I guess I just can't stay away," he said sardonically.

            "You'd better," she laughed self-deprecatingly. "If you get too close, I'll probably hurt you, too."

            "What do you mean?"

            She turned away. "Never mind."

            She could almost feel him walk up beside her. "Wearing a shirt over that excuse for a nightdress, I see."

            Flushing slightly, she took a few steps away from him.

            He let his breath out in a tired sigh. "For God's sake, I'm not going to kill you."

            She lifted her nose slightly in the air, trying to disguise her wounded pride. "Well, I'm sorry. I'm just uncomfortable around _you people_." _Please, please go away!_ She thought desperately. _I don't want you around!!_

            He frowned. "What am I, my own species?"

            She almost sneered in a desperate effort to make him go away. "Close to it."

            Hitomi could almost see expression in those fathomless eyes. "Well, at least I'm not some scared little girl who can't defend herself without a guy to do it for her, and who uses every guy she comes in contact with-"

            She didn't realize she'd punched him until he doubled backwards, yelping, "Good Lord, woman!" He felt at his eye tenderly, wincing as he prodded the injured part. "That was pretty good," he admitted to himself grudgingly. "I didn't even see it coming." Hissing in pain, he looked up at her with an almost feral gleam in his eye. "You're lucky you're a girl," he said darkly.

            Tossing her hair back, trying to ignore the burning pain in her knuckles, she sniffed, "_You're lucky Allen likes you, or else I'd tell him to make you leave."_

            "You have that much influence over him?" Van asked snidely.

            Feeling her face redden again, she looked away. "Yeah…" she said faintly, embarrassed that at some point it had probably been true, though it wasn't anymore. She felt disinclined to explain this to him, already feeling foolish enough. She hadn't meant to _punch_ him…necessarily…

            Van took a step forward, straightening back up to his full height. His eyes now held a vicious taunt in them. "So…you going to his tent later tonight?"

            "Wha-NO!" she burst out, shocked that he would even suggest that. "Why would you think that?"

            "I saw you guys getting pretty close," he explained matter-of-factly. "It was obvious what was going on."

            "What was going on was I was breaking his heart!"  She grimaced. "I didn't mean to…but he pushed too hard."

            Van raised an eyebrow in interest. "Oh, I see," he said contemplatively. "So if you're not going to Allen's tent, then whose tent would you go to? Perhaps that Gaddes fellow."

            "N-no, he's like my big brother! I couldn't-"

            "Then whose tent are you going to?"

            "My own!" she yelled at him, frustrated at his insistence of her easy virtue. "Like I told you before, even if I may have…screwed up…and seemed like I was a… 'you know' …I'm not! And I absolutely despise you for insinuating that-" Her speech cut off as she realized he had taken several measured steps while she had been too flustered to notice.  He stood only a few inches away from her now. Stubbornly, she refused to back away from him this time, but couldn't stop the trembling in her tone. "W-w-what are you doing?"

            With a positively wicked smile, Van fingered his tender eye and murmured in a low voice, "I figure I ought to repay you for that punch you gave me."

            Before she could stop him, he seized her arms roughly and crushed his mouth down on hers.

            Her mind went blank, as her belly tightened with…something…something akin to pain, but yet…not. She should shove him away, kick him, hit him, even as futile as it would be. But her body refused to respond. Sparks filled her vision, and she tried to breathe without success. Maybe that's why she was blacking out. That had to be it. The outrageous villain was cutting off her air supply and violating her to boot! She should…she should…

            Blank.

            All she felt was the sparks within her as he pulled her even closer.

            He let go abruptly, and she almost fell to the ground in a limp puddle of nothingness. He gave her his infamous condescending smirk. "G'night, _Princess."_

            Without any other remark, he turned and left her trembling with…outrage. Clearly, that's what it was. She stood still, mouth agape, senses humming with enraged fury. _I can't believe he just…she hissed within her mind. _How boorish! How…how…__

            On vicious impulse, she grabbed a crabapple from the ground and flung it with amazing accuracy at the back of his black head before she raced to her tent like the demons of hell were pursuing her.

* *big smile* hehe…the plot thickens *wink* *


	7. Plans

Disclaimer: don't own it.

Chapter 7: Plans

            He fingered the bump on the back of his head gingerly. Hearing her words, _"If you get too close, I'll probably hurt you, too," almost made him chuckle with the irony. He had gotten rather close, hadn't he?_

            His head hurt like the devil.

            With a smile he shook his head.

            It had been worth it.

*          *          *

            "Van!" Allen shouted for the missing warrior. "Where is he?" he muttered irritably.

            Hitomi poked her head out of her tent, and said, "Maybe he went off to practice or…something."

            "When did you last see Van?"

            She flushed slightly. "I can't remember," she mumbled before ducking back into her tent.

            Allen frowned at her strange behavior. What was going on?

            "You were looking for me?"

            The dark-haired man was standing in his usual half-slouched posture, at ease with the ruckus he was causing.

            "I've been looking for you all morning!" Allen said. "Where have you been?"

            Van shrugged. "Here and there."

            "Well, I would appreciate it if you would put yourself in such a place where I can easily find you."

            Van's brown eyes darkened slightly. "Don't presume to command me, Allen," he said seriously. "Though I'm helping your group out, that doesn't mean I'm going to take orders from the likes of _you_."

            Allen's angry expression deepened.

            Van waved his comment away. "Forget about it," he said in a more companionable tone. "I'm here now. What do you want?"

            The knight tried to wipe his annoyance away. "I came up with an idea last night," he began. "We need to find out what Zaibach wants with Hitomi."

            "Fairly obvious so far."

            "Therefore, we need to send a team in to infiltrate the high tower, to find out all we need to know."

            Van eyed him speculatively. "You want me to go, of course."

            The blond was caught off guard, but tried not to show it. "Uh, yes. After all, you'd know best what to do with the information, and you would probably have the best chance of leading the team successfully in the mission."

            "Fairly obvious so far," he repeated with a smirk. "Keep in mind though, the bigger the team, the more obvious we'll be. Keep it small."

            "…Yes of course," Allen agreed, as if he had already considered that. "I was going to allow the men to volunteer."

            Van almost grimaced, but knew he couldn't change the knight's ways that easily. He'd have to find ways to put together a small team with all the skills he would need in such a manner that no one would know he was manipulating it. He highly doubted the men's usefulness, however. They were great on a ship, good in a fight, but undercover exploration? They'd stand out like a halo on a demon's head.

            With a longsuffering sigh, Van pushed the hair away from his eyes and gathered the thoughts he would need to tell the men in order to find out who was remotely qualified. 

            Allen looked at him, shocked. "What happened to you?" he asked curiously.

            Van had forgotten about his black eye. With another of his characteristic shrugs, he deflected the question with, "I'm fine."

*          *          *

            Everybody crowded into the mess tent at noon, Hitomi and Merle standing in the back.

            "I wonder what's going on," Merle commented.

            Hitomi shrugged. "A meeting."

            "I'm not that stupid."

            "I never said you were."

            Van appeared beside them, causing Merle to squeal his name and hold him tight. He carefully extracted her arms from around his waist, and turned to Hitomi. "You feel any better?"

            She glared at him. "I can't believe you…how dare you do that to me!"

            He shrugged, leaning against a pole with his arms loosely crossed, much in the same position as he had when she'd first seen him. "It's not like I was going to hit you back," he said simply. "I may be despicable, but I _was instilled with some sense of propriety."_

            "_That was __propriety?!"_

            He scratched his head with a faint smile. "My head hurts still, if it's any consolation."

            "I only take satisfaction from leaving a mark," she said coldly.

            Pulling his hair away from his eye, he grinned mockingly at her startled reaction.

            "I did that?!" she asked incredulously. Taking her thoughts back in, she returned an emotionless smile. "You deserved it."

            "I probably did," he conceded without remorse. Merle glared at Hitomi and clung to Van's arm.

            "What'd you do to him?" she hissed angrily.

            "He brought it upon himself," she said simply.

            Van shushed them both abruptly, as Allen stood in the front of the room.

            "Gentlemen," he began in a fine orator's voice, "I've called you here to tell you our next plan. We can't move on the enemy without knowing their actions, their intentions, and their strategies. Therefore, Van and I have deduced that an infiltration is necessary to divulge the information needed. We've called you here so that whoever is willing to go on this mission can volunteer. It's going to be dangerous, and nothing is guaranteed. In a week those of you in the group will be sent off on the mission. In the time between then you will undergo heavy training by Van in order to ensure a successful and relatively painless mission." He paused, looking around the room with authority in his eye. "If any of you do not wish to do this, or prefer to remain behind to guard the camp, you can leave. It is not a shameful thing, men. Everyone has their own talents, and if this is not one of yours, you may leave without regret."

            A few of the men got up to leave, facing downward despite Allen's grand words.

            After everyone had settled once more, Allen said, "Van, would you come up here?"

            Van walked to the front, feeling vaguely uncomfortable in front of a rapt audience. He could see a brash exuberance in the eyes of the younger members, could see a steady anticipation in the eyes of the elders. He only hoped behind their eyes that there was some ability at espionage.

            "I have some questions to ask you," he began, "so that I can decide who will be on my team."

            The men nodded in acceptance of his plan.

            "Okay…uh…Let's start easy now. Say you're walking in a dark room, your target is supposedly sleeping, but suddenly he makes a move, one that doesn't help you determine whether he's awake or not. What do you do?"

            "He's sleeping," one of the men snorted. "People move in their sleep all the time."

            "But what if he was awake," Van replied. "Boom. You're dead."

            "You run out of the room," another man replied.

            "No, you run to the nearest cover, obviously," one objected.

            Van shook his head, amazed at the ignorance of these men, when a voice piped up from the back:

            "You stay still so that if they are awake they cannot tell whether there is a disturbance in the room, stay still until you _can_ determine whether they are awake or not. If they really are awake, remain motionless until they fall back asleep unless they may have the ability to spot you. Then you move very slowly to a hiding space nearby. If they're asleep, you just continue with what you were doing."

            He stared at Hitomi in shock. "Uh…yeah," he said. "That works."

            Clearing his throat, he continued with his questions, amazed that almost every time the men got close but never quite right, and then Hitomi would respond with the correct answer.

            Ending his impromptu interrogation, he shrugged mentally. It was pretty clear what he had to do. A small group he would have, and it was only a small group that was actually anywhere near qualified for doing this anyway. Looking to the back of the room, he caught Hitomi's eye, and stated, "Looks like it's just you and me, Princess."

*short, I know, but it compensates for the other's long-ness…working on next chapter ASAP…lets hope it comes out as great as the crabapple part *wink* *


	8. Flames

*sorry this chapter's been late in coming guys : ) hehe funny I say that since it was last updated _a whole 3 days_ ago. :-D but this chapter's long…has a lot of scenes in it…and well, I just like to proofread like mad so that when you guys all read it, it's as perfect as it will ever be*

*so I suppose I've gotten to the point now where I've got some steady reviewers…and I feel obliged to at least thank them…*

**aradow**: one of the first to be brave and read my goofy little fanfic : ) thanks bunches for sticking with me

**honeypot**: you're always so positive : ) makes me really wanna keep writing…thanks!!

**Kim**: thanks for your excitable reviews hehe they make me smile

**Sara**: thanks for encouraging me along

**Night of the Raven**: : ) heh thanksss!!

**snow**** blossoms: : ) thanks for commenting on my manner of speech…I practically kill myself to try and get it right…**

**dreamingofflyingaway**: thanks for the comments on my vocab : ) SAT words, here I come! Hehe…any of you taking the SAT in the near future…or you have taken it already…you know what I mean :P

**SabineballZ**: I love how curious you are…your questions will be answered in due time!

**Hana**: thanks for listening to me spout off my ridiculous ideas to you in school : ) and listening to me tempt you with future snippets of chapters I haven't posted yet. Hehe rock on for tubas!! _(sorry, band moment…please don't think any worse of me for saying that…I'm really not _that _big of a geek…_*innocent eyes* _well maybe I am but…bah. Love me for who I am, dang it!)_

*alrighty so that now that my thanks are done…for those who have given me one review or more…basically people who were with me from the start or close to it…(don't be offended if you didn't make my list…in time my forgetful mind with get around to you)…on to the next chapter!*

Disclaimer: don't own it

Chapter 8: Flames

            Her hands burned like fire.

            The rock face chafed Hitomi's palms and scuffed her knees mercilessly. Panting, she dare not let go. It was a long drop down.

            The third day of Van's 'training,' and she didn't know how much more she could take.  

            "Van, are we almost down?" she pleaded uselessly.

            His voice floated up from underneath her, sounding as if he were exerting no energy at all. "You have to be able to get to the bottom," he said sternly. "What if you're trying to escape from the tower and the only exit is out the window?"

            She grunted, drops of sweat falling into her eyes and temporarily blinding her. "It's called a rope," she muttered caustically to herself. Squeezing her aching hand around a rock jutting out of the wall, she held tight while she found a foothold. Resting the weight on her feet again, she lowered her hands systematically to repeat the action.

            "You already had some skills," Van confessed. "But we're not trying to sneak into your little brother's room this time, Princess. We're going to be dealing with the big dogs now."

            Her scratched fingertips scrabbled for a handhold. "I hate you."

            She could almost hear his mocking grin in his reply, "I love you too, Princess."

            Hitomi felt her arms trembling. She couldn't hold on much longer. She'd been doing this most of the day, and after all the other miscellaneous training Van had put her though she was beginning to reach her limit of stamina.

            "I don't know how much farther I can go, Van."

            "You'll make it."

            He sounded so confident, when she felt everything but. Steeling herself against the pain, she reached down with her right foot to rest it on something. With a stab of panic, all she found was empty air. Feeling frantically around, she knew she couldn't hold on any longer. In what seemed like slow motion, she saw her fingertips slowly, achingly slide away from the rock, felt her center of gravity shifting backwards, felt the wind against her body, felt the stomach-curling rush of falling. She had been pretty high up to begin with, and had no way to determine how far she had gone. Van wouldn't stop her fall. He never had before, and she bore the bruises to prove it. Grimacing, she closed her eyes and awaiting the terribly hard slap of the ground against her back.

            Instead, she felt something warm and soft, yet strong and unyielding, against her back and legs.

            Startled, she looked up into Van's unreadable, mahogany eyes. He frowned at her slightly, and then set her down abruptly as if she was a flame to his touch. "I don't need you to get hurt anymore than you need to," he said gruffly. "We've got a lot of work left to do."

            She watched him walk away in slight confusion. Why had he suddenly decided to care about her welfare? Did the serpent actually have feeling within his heart…?

            _No, she thought decidedly, remembering the…well, 'kiss' was too kind a word for what he did to her. He just wanted to be able to keep pushing her around, like he always did. She wouldn't give him the opportunity. So what if he knew more about this crazy stuff than she did? She would learn what he taught her, and learn it darn well._

            "Van, aren't we done for today?"

            He turned back around at her. His hair shadowed his eyes. "You can't take anymore?"

            She sighed. "The sun's about to set. How much can you cram into a day without wearing yourself out?"

            "It'll probably set in another hour. Enough time to run a mile or two through the woods."

            Hitomi groaned.

            He lifted an eyebrow. "You can do it."

            "You mean I _will _do it," she corrected tiredly. "You don't give me any rest. Why'd you pick me, anyway?"

            "Why'd you even speak up, if you didn't want to do this?"

            She rolled her eyes. "I don't know, I just…" Rubbing her face in defeat, she said, "Fine. A mile. No more."

            He wore a smug smile. "I'll run it with you, Princess, if it'll make you feel better."

            "It'll make me feel worse, but I can't really stop you, now can I?"

            "Nope."

*          *          *

            "'Morning, sleeping beauty!"

            Hitomi moaned sleepily, and blinked at an alert Van holding the flap open to let all the sunlight into her tent. Her eyes widened at recognizing the intruder, and she grabbed the blankets and jerked them up over her. "Go away!" she shrieked.

            He let loose that aggravating chuckle of his. "Sheesh, you'd think I was coming in here to rape you or something."

            She felt her cheeks flush with irritation. "Well, you very well could be!" she shot back. "Get out of this tent right now!"

            "Obviously not a morning person," he observed. "Well, I don't care whether you are or not. We're going to work on archery today."

            "Get out!"

            "It depends how adept you are at learning that," he continued. "Then maybe we might work on something else. But we need to make use of our time."

            "Get out!"

            "You can't wear your baggy clothes again," he remarked. "They get in the way when you're doing things."

            "Get out!"

            "Oh, and eat something before we start. I don't want to break in the middle."

            "Get out!"

            "Get going. I'll see you outside." And he exited the tent like it had been his own idea all along.

            She sighed with frustration, unaccountably irritated at his commandeering nature. Would he never stop treating her like she was ten years old? Pulling her snug black pants on, she tied the shirt tightly around her waist and combed out her hair with her fingers. The advantage of having short hair, she mused, was that there wasn't as much to muss. Grumbling to herself heatedly, she stumbled out into the sunset, mentally preparing herself to be completely exhausted again.

            "So, you know how to use a bow and arrow, right?"

            Hitomi tried not to take offense at his clear disbelief. "Yes."

            "Good. I'd rather not have to show you. You'd probably freak out and punch me or something, saying I was getting 'too close.'" He touched his healing eye in faint remembrance.

            She wrinkled her nose at him. "How do you know?"

            He shrugged. "You want to find out if that's what you'd do?"

            "I'd rather not," she replied. "You just stay over there."

            "Of course, milady," he bowed sardonically. Pointing to a point on the ground pretty close to the target, he said, "Shoot," and watched her with a calculating, serious gaze.

            With what she supposed was a smirk akin to his own, she raised the bow and let go without really sighting.

            Van stared at the arrow wobbling in the bulls-eye. Hitomi had seen the look of surprise that flickered briefly in his eyes. "Okay," he said stiffly, motioning to a spot a little farther, "stand here."

            Once again, she had no trouble.

            He frowned. "Again," he ordered. "Farther back."

            He moved her back exponentially, and after a few more meters she had to start concentrating. But she still managed to nail each shot.

            He whistled lightly in amazement. "Damn, you're good!" he uttered before he could stop himself.

            Glowing inside from his unintended compliment for reasons she couldn't describe, she smiled at him. "I told you so."

            He shook his head. "That must be a woman's favorite phrase," he growled without malice. Shrugging, he said, "Well, since you apparently have mastered archery good enough, we could start working with swords."

            "Alright," she agreed easily. "By the way, out of curiosity…how far can you shoot an arrow accurately?"

            Van grinned ruefully. "If you really must know, my best distance is probably about three-quarters yours."

            "Looks like Mr. Know-it-all has got competition at something at last."

            He waggled his finger at her. "Let's just see how well you do with the swords."

            "I finally found something you can't do!"

            She rested the sword on the ground wearily. "Maybe I'm just tired," she snapped at him.

            "No. I know how you react when you're tired." He smirked all-knowingly. "That's not tired."

            Hitomi sighed. "I never said that I could do everything, anyway. Why are you looking so hard for a fault of mine?"

            "Because no one could be as perfect as you," he said sarcastically. Pushing his hair out of his face, he chuckled. "Sorry. I had an 'Allen'-moment."

            She shook her head. "You're so mean to him," she said ambiguously.

            He looked at her curiously. "Are you taking his side?"

            With a faint shrug, she said, "I don't know."

            "Well, forget I said it then. No matter how much I'm sure he deserves to be made fun of, I'll try to abstain for your sake."

            She rolled her eyes. "I should make fun of you."

            "Like you could," he scoffed. "What's there to make fun of?"

            She looked at him coolly. "Your hair looks like you have a mop on your head."

            "Hey!" he exclaimed. "You're bringing out the big guns so soon?"

            Hitomi bit back a smile. "Well, it does."

            "That's hurtful," he said, his face saying it was anything but. "I'd better start teaching you again so you can stop persecuting me with your dreadful remarks."

            "You're so melodramatic."

            "You take everything way too seriously."

            "Is there anything wrong with that?" Hitomi challenged.

            "Yeah." Van shrugged. "Life's easier if you don't take it seriously."

            "You're an imbecile," she muttered. Flicking her hair back, she turned to walk away from the tiresome parasite, and suddenly felt his arms wrap around her neck. Instinctively, she twisted out of the headlock the way he'd shown her and would've had him on the ground if he hadn't been prepared for her counterattack.

            His smile was genuine, for once. "You learned well," he remarked.

            Looking at him with an unreadable expression, she tried to gauge whether he meant the compliment this time or was just trying to find ways to keep her here.

            "Pick up your sword," he commanded, and she obeyed without hesitating. Realizing what she did, she almost dropped it again out of contrariness.

            "Don't be childish, Princess," he sighed. "Let's just learn this. You may be a hot shot with a bow and arrow, but sometimes hand to hand is the only way you can fight back."

            Grudgingly accepting his reasoning, she lifted her sword and listened intently to his instructions, storing the information in preparation of the day that she might be able to use it against him.

*          *          *

            She sighed. Allen had been giving her puppy-dog looks again. All week, ever since she'd told him off, he'd been constantly trying to get her to pay more attention to him. Out of sheer stubbornness, she'd refused.

            She wasn't going to let his hopes go up again. She wasn't going to let anyone's hopes go up.

            Hitomi hated people being hurt because of her.

            He'd even come to her once at dinner, sat with her, and then looked across at her and said, "Hitomi, I'll never be able to love anyone else the way I love you."

            It touched her heart…to hear him say that. Just the thought of someone loving her so thoroughly and encompassing…it was indescribable. She felt truly worth something. But in fear of hurting him more, she tried to shun his advances. Even if she wished she could accept with all her heart.

            He'd told Gaddes how much he loved her, too. Gaddes had talked with her a little bit about Allen's feelings and such…but she hadn't acknowledged to him the extent to which Allen's declarations had moved her. No one must know. Not only was it embarrassing, it was useless. She had no past, and no future. What kind of a girl was that for Allen?

            She was still tired. Van exercised both mind and body as he prepared her for the covert operation they would embark on. She was still unhappy that she would be left alone with him for so long. If they both survived, it would truly be a miracle. She wasn't so sure she wouldn't skewer him with one of her arrows if she got the chance.

            Tonight, there was a celebration. Some of Allen's men had met up with the animal-people in the local village, and they were so thrilled at the presence of those who rebelled against Zaibach's smothering rule that they had decided to throw a wild spring celebration. Hitomi grimaced, as she recalled Millerna vowing to make her 'like a goddess.' She sincerely doubted the medicine woman's abilities would be enough to transform her into anything but simple little Hitomi, the girl without memories.

            Sighing, she walked over to the mess tent, curious to see whether Millerna had anything she might sample. Like every day this week, she'd skipped lunch again. Walking in without announcement, she was frozen by the scene that greeted her.

            Allen was making out with Millerna…making out, in fact, in such a way that it was obvious this wasn't the first time and wasn't intended to be the last. His kiss was deep and she had her fingers twined in his long blonde hair. His hands rested intimately on her waist and…

            Hitomi felt a blank emptiness within her soul. She couldn't explain it. She didn't know that she wanted to. All she knew was that the man she had once dared to think of loving was…

            Making a strangled sound in her throat, she ran out of the tent. Allen must've seen her flee, for he shouted, "Hitomi! Wait!"

            Heedless of his entreaties, she raced into the forest, looking for eternal oblivion.

            She had sat on that stump for a long time. The sun had passed already from directly overhead to slightly west. Hitomi sighed, and wondered idly whether anyone would be able to find her here. Chances were not. She knew all the best places to find a permanent solitude.

            She was within a huge bush, hollow in the inside from some woodland creature that was long gone. There was enough room in there for perhaps one more person, but Hitomi never intended for that spot to be filled. She had heard someone walk by briefly, but they hadn't been able to notice her. The foliage covered her perfectly, rendering her completely secure.

            She felt a lone tear slip down her cheek, and brushed it away brusquely. What an idiot she was, to cry over something so completely idiotic. She had told Allen to forget her, hadn't she? Isn't this how she wanted things?

            But how long had he and Millerna been going on…?

            She jumped as the leaves rustled beside her. Turning, she looked into burgundy-brown eyes and almost groaned.

            "Are you alright?" he asked.

            "Leave me alone," she croaked, turning her back to him.

            He crawled into the bush, ignoring her plea like he always did. "Are you alright?" he repeated.

            She blew her bangs out of her face and looked at him. "What does it look like, you idiot? I'm feeling perfectly peachy. In fact, I was thinking of running naked into the field and doing a victory dance! What do you think?"

            "If you ever do, please make sure to let me know beforehand." He winked devilishly.

            She smacked him hard on the side of his face.

            Feeling his stinging cheek, Van chuckled. "Good to see you're still your old self."

            She glared at him, and turned away. "How'd you find me?" she muttered sullenly.

            His expression sobered somewhat. "I know about being alone," he said flatly. "I knew the places that you would go."

            Sniffing slightly, she looked back at him. "Oh, really?"

            His face didn't even give her a clue as to his heart. "Yeah. Now what's wrong?"

            She sighed. "I'm sure you'd figure it out eventually even if I didn't tell you," she remarked ruefully. "It's silly. I feel so…stupid. But…well…"

            "Is it Allen and Millerna?"

            Her eyes closed. "Yeah. How'd you know about them?"

            "But I thought you didn't love Allen."

            "I-well, I don't," she admitted. "But…but he said…"

            "He said he loved you, right?"

            "Yeah," she agreed quietly, hugging her knees tightly to her chest like a little girl. "And it felt so great…to be loved so intensely like that. It gave me hope, kind of. Hope that I really wasn't unlovable. It felt like…magic. But," her tone turned abruptly harsh, "it was all a damn lie from some no-good bastard playboy-"

            Van let her rant a little, and then smiled soothingly. "He's not the only one around, Princess," he said calmly. "Someday, someone will surprise you."

            Hitomi sighed again. "I suppose so."

            Van settled more comfortably into the center of the bush with Hitomi. "So, you mind if I ask you a few questions to take your mind off of everything?"

            "I guess not. I won't be able to stop you, now will I?"

            "Where are you from?"

            Hitomi winced slightly. She didn't want to tell him she didn't remember, so she just said, "I'd rather not tell you."

            He nodded patiently. "Alright," he continued, "can you tell me your surname, then?"

            She felt a weak smile on her lips. "Kanzaki," she admitted. Turning his question on him, she asked, "Where are you from? Fanelia, right?"

            With a mocking twinkle in his eye, he declared, "I'd rather not say."

            She bit back a smile. "Then what's your surname?"

            He shook his head. "I'd rather not say that either."

            "What?" Her mouth dropped open. "That's not fair!"  
            "Life ain't fair, Princess," he said with a smirk.

            "You're a jerk," she grumbled.

            He laughed. "That can be my last name for you. Van the Jerk."

            She stuck her tongue out at him. "It suits you."

            "Well, as much as I'd like to stay here and listen to you insult me, there's going to be a big celebration tonight." He rocked forward to crawl out, and looked at her. "Don't stay up too late, remember. We have to leave early in the morning."

            "I know, Van. I'm not a little kid."

            "Just making sure." He winked at her again. "And about that dancing-naked-in-the-fields thing, I was serious about making sure to let me know about it."

            "Oh, you moron!" She slapped his other cheek, leaving a matching imprint.

            He merely laughed at her. "I love seeing you riled up, Princess," he prodded sardonically. "See you later."

            Hitomi sat fuming inside the bush. Nothing she said, nothing at all, could get to him without being twisted and flung back at her. It was infuriating! She vowed viciously to find a way to repay Van. Perhaps she would find an opening during their long trek to Zaibach. She prayed intensely that she would be able to repay him for his annoyances in full.

*          *          *

            Van haunted the area around Hitomi's tent, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Rubbing his cheek idly, he watched the females wander around in all their pomp and finery. He tugged at the collar of his deep red shirt in discomfort, hating the formal wear. When the dancing started, he resolved, he would definitely unbutton the top of his shirt and roll up the sleeves. With a frown of concentration, he wondered what Hitomi would look like in a dress. Try as he might, his imagination just couldn't seem to conjure up a satisfying picture in his mind.

            Wiping his hands on his khaki pants, he reflected on the future plans. Tomorrow they would go off to Zaibach. She had learned his lessons remarkably well, far better than he had ever expected. He didn't understand her aptitude at what he taught her…and for the millionth time, he wondered at the past of the mysterious girl. It wasn't normal, it couldn't be. He shrugged, dismissing the questions to the back of his mind. Contrary to most times he had to use a partner, he felt almost no unease other than what came naturally with going on a covert operation.

            A flap opened, catching his attention, and Hitomi stepped out.

            Millerna had told him that she would transform Hitomi, but he hadn't fully believed that. He felt his jaw drop slightly. Only years of experience kept his shocked expression from showing blatantly on his face.

            Her hair gleamed golden in the lowering sun, its light creating a glowing halo around her head. Hitomi looked like an angel, except…there was no way an angel would wear that dress. It was a stark red, with shifting shades of orange and yellow interwoven in the fabric, so that when she moved she looked like an angel of fire. The neckline was dramatically low, off the shoulders, and dipping in a 'v' that made his mouth go dry. The sleeves were long, belled at the wrists grandly, and a few inches shy of her fingertips. Her small waist was accented by the v-like taper of the bodice that led to a long skirt which billowed out ever so slightly. Catching his stare, she took a step toward him, and the blood left his head in a roaring rush. There was a slit on the left side of her dress up to mid-thigh, with every other step showing a flash of leg that drained his mind of rational thought. He barely noticed her feet, which were strapped in ankle-breaking heels that evidenced the reason for her incredible balance on his obstacle course.

            _God, she's beautiful._

            She walked up to him, her hips slightly swaying unintentionally. "I hate dressing up like this," she grumbled, an uncomfortable expression on her face.

            He tried to reply, but her eyes distracted him. They seemed larger than normal, like glittering emeralds glowing with their own inner flame. "Oh," he managed out of his constricted throat.

            She sighed, and looked around her. "They really get into this stuff," she murmured contemplatively.

            "Yeah, the Faunirri seem to hold the best celebrations," Van said, grateful to be able to speak in full sentences again. Looking closer at her gaze, he noticed she seemed to be staring far beyond the clearing. "What're you thinking of?"

            Her eyes shuttered defensively, closing herself to him. "Nothing," she said. Defiantly, she crossed her arms, making the neckline of her dress treacherous to look at. Van swallowed hard, and looked away from her in desperation.

            "Nice br-uh, dress," he stuttered. _Please don't do that!_ he begged her mentally.

            Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Millerna went crazy," she stated, apparently having missed his Freudian slip. "I couldn't stop her. She was like some crazy whirlwind, barging in with a dress she declared suited me better than it ever would her…and before I knew it, I was like this."

            "I see."

            She sighed, making Van swallow again. "This reminds me…"

            "Of what?"

            Her thoughts turned off again. "It was nothing," she replied curtly.

            "Of course," he said amiably, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He lifted the hair off the back of his neck, wondering how it had gotten so warm all of a sudden.

            With relief, he heard the music beginning. "Looks like it's starting," he breathed somewhat easier. Stepping slightly away from temptation, he winked at her lightly. "Save me a dance, will you, Princess?"

            She shoved him aside. "Maybe."

            "I'll take that as a yes then," he smirked, praying desperately that she wouldn't be able to see right through his desperate façade.

*          *          *

            Allen led her in a slow dance around the clearing, in a grand processional that all the dancers took part in. "I'm sorry you saw that today, Hitomi…" he began earnestly.

            "Forget it, Allen," Hitomi interrupted impatiently. "Don't worry yourself about that. We're both well aware of where we stand." She could barely keep the bitterness from her tone. After all, she heard what he said very clearly. He apologized for her seeing it. Not for him doing it.

            And that irked her the most. Because he had claimed so passionately that he loved her, that he would never be able to love another as much as her. What bull crap.

            "Are you sure you're fine?" Allen asked, using the excuse to look her up and down. He'd been doing that all night, and it was intensifying her already grumpy mood. First his little 'revelation' with Millerna, then Van's annoying intrusion into her solitude, and now Allen continued to look at her like she was a piece of meat on a rack. Did he have any shame at all? Silently, she cursed Millerna for picking this dress for her. Did she know it would affect him this way?

            "Excuse me."

            Hitomi didn't know why she felt like melting in relief.

            Allen frowned. "The lady and I were trying to dance."

            Van smiled mock-cordially. "You were trying. She was succeeding." He offered his hand to Hitomi grandly, and she took it almost gratefully, missing Allen's look of annoyance.

            As he swept her away, she muttered, "You know it was the other way around. I can't dance for my life."

            He looked down at her, good cheer sparkling in his eyes. "You're not doing too badly now."

            "Oh, that does wonders for my ego."

            "I try my best."

            She rolled her eyes and just let herself flow with the ending chords of the dance, wondering vaguely why she was more peaceful in her arch-enemy's presence.

            "Well, that's it," she said, disentangling herself from him.

            "You don't want to give me the pleasure of the next dance?" he asked, looking at her dejectedly. "After all, you promised me a _whole _dance, and that was only the ending."

            "I never promised you anything."

            "Yeah, you did. You just weren't paying attention."

            She snorted in a very unladylike fashion. "Obviously."

            He lifted his eyebrows. "So…?"

            "I'm tired of all the slow songs."

            He smiled again. "Good. Then I don't suppose you'll mind something a little more…energetic?"

            A flicker of déjà vu assaulted her, and with an uncharacteristic confident smile she shot back, "I hope you can keep up, Sword Boy."

            He made some hand signal to the orchestra, and she heard the music began. A slow thrumming filled her bones, and she took Van's hand and stood beside him, poised for the dance. The déjà vu touched the back of her mind again. It felt like she'd seen this…done this…felt this…before.

            And then the music accelerated, filling the marrow of her bones with a sweltering fire that propelled her limbs to move in rhythm to the dance. Her footsteps matched Van's; together they danced like two writhing flames. The crowd of dancers formed a circle around the two, but they didn't notice anyone's presence but their own. Her movements were sure and spirited. The music thrummed with her pulse; she became the music, feeling the minutes like they were seconds. Holding her hands over her head, Van spun her in dizzying circles that brought her to his chest, where he embraced her tightly, nuzzling her neck as she threw her head back to the music. Jerking backwards, she spun away, beckoning him coyly to follow her. They moved together, in a complex rhythm that held time for neither thought nor pretense. The music raced on, heedless to the limitations of human energy. With pounding percussion and ringing brass, the melodies soared out; filling the air as well as it filled the souls of the two dancers. He caught her by the waist, pulling her close again as the music raced to a dramatic finish, crescendoing more and more until she felt as if her heart would burst with the intensity. With a flash in his eyes, he dipped her low to the ground, bracing her arched back with his arm, and bent his head toward her intimately, his forehead almost brushing her chest.

            She barely heard the cheering of the crowd over her pounding heartbeat. Holding on to Van's neck to pull herself slightly upright, Hitomi breathed deep to try and erase the insane energy humming inside her. "Not bad," she managed.

            Van's eyes were dark, reflecting the fire in the clearing. He hadn't moved back, and his face was still barely inches from hers.  
            Hitomi gulped, unsure of where the dance steps had come from. She hadn't known them before…but somehow, she had.

            "I didn't think you knew how to dance to Faunirri songs."

            "Yeah. Neither did I," she murmured. She dropped her hands from his neck and tried to ease herself a little farther from his face, feeling thoroughly discomfited at such close range. Turning, she saw the huge flickering bonfire in the center of the clearing, apparently having been lit up during their fiery dance when the sun set. The flames reached high like greedy fingers towards the crystalline web of stars.

            _Heat_.

            Her stomach tightened painfully.

            _"Help me!" A voice called out, but she couldn't reach it._

            She bit her lip.

            _Burning.___

_            Her skin was blistering, the hairs of her arm curling up as an acrid stench rose to her nostrils._

            She couldn't breathe.__

_            "Nooo! Mama…Papa…Hideki…"_

            Tears inexplicably filled her eyes, complimenting the hollow emptiness in her heart.

            _Pain.___

_            A searing pain eclipsed her senses, blocking everything else out but the omnipresent, everlasting heat._

            "Hitomi?"

            She blinked, jerked back to reality. Van was still holding her close, oblivious to others dancing to a different tune around them, and looking at her curiously. "What's wrong?"

            Her heart pounded dully in her ears, and she could feel her scar twinge with remembered pain. Pain that had returned again. "Nothing," she choked vehemently, and dashed away from the clearing, wishing she could escape the flames within her as easily.

*Hehe you like?  
Alright I've got some questions I'd like you reviewers to answer for me:

Is there an actual name for the animal people in Escaflowne? I mean…I made up the name I used from 'fauna'…you know…'flora and fauna'…but I dunno how good it is…

Hitomi's lil' bro doesn't have a name in Escaflowne…right? He's just…Hitomi's brother? And therefore I can choose whatever name I want?

About my little summary…has it improved at all? Does it work well with the story so far? I keep trying to rewrite it, but I'm not really any good at it…I never want to give too much away, but then I end up not saying enough and…eh. So complicated.

Oh, and make sure to tell me when I make a grammar/name/tense mistake or anything of the sort. Even though I proofread it like 20 times, I miss some because it's my writing and I'll tend to gloss over the mistakes because I'll know what I meant.

Hmm…and I can't really tell the rating anymore…I'm thinking more along the lines of PG-13…whaddaya think?

:-D Once again, thanks bunches for reading this! I truly have no life…*

-wink


	9. Flight

honestly…I tried to get it posted last night so it would be there for you guys in the morning, but the internet was being soo retarded!!

Yeehoo!! Got the new chapter out! I reread this thing like 5 times tonight to get it proofread as soon as possible…I hope you guys appreciate my effort :P

I think I've got to leave the summary as is…I honestly can't think of a better one. I still don't really like it though…maybe in time something will come to me…

Thanks….

**aradow**: heh yeah there are some crazy people out there who know everything there is to know and more…I do enjoy the banter between them as well, and I honestly can't tell you how I managed to pull that off smiles

**storm**** warrior**: I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!!

**Koriina**: three days too long? Haha I'm trying my hardest to keep the time limits between chapters short…of course this means less people can read it at a leisurely pace and will be forced to read a gazillion chapters in the first sitting before they get to the end…heh ah well.

**Inda**: excitement's coming, don't worry : )

**snow blossoms**: the definition for Freudian slip is in the reviews, in case you didn't see…I put it there cuz I forgot that it wasn't really common knowledge…only a dork like me who would remember a research project about some kooky psychologist would know

**honeypot**: I like her brother's name in my fic too : ) yeah about Hitomi's memory problems…they're explained somewhat in this chapter. It's somewhat confusing still, but all will become clear…rubs hands together with anticipation

**Sara**: what 'flame thing' exactly? You mean, like, why the story deals with fire and stuff a lot? Heh I suppose all will become clear in due time, my friend… Yeah and that was definitely the Mask of Zorro big smile Kudos to you for knowing that!!

**Kim**: hehe Van is indeed 'fine', I must agree with you on that wink but romantic moments may be sporadic…be warned…this whole story isn't ush-gooshy-mushy…I try to not be overly dramatic and typical…y'know…try to keep from being…conventional. The greatest thing since peanut butter? Hehe awesomeness…_I'm updating already_!! See? See?! winks

**Night of the Raven**: thanks for reading!

**SabineballZ**: thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate it a lot. Heh though dunno about lemon scenes hun…I dunno how adept I'd be at writing it : ) Van, comfort Hitomi? Oh, you'll see…you'll see…cackles

**Messenger Of Doom**: hehe I'm trying my best dude

-

-

Chapter 9: Flight

His ever-aware eyes watched her race across the field, disappearing into the woods beyond.

He smiled.

What had happened? She had frozen in his arms for no reason…a pain etched so deeply in the crease of her brows. Her arms had trembled as they held on to his. He had heard every shattering breath she took.

What in Gaia had happened?

Van frowned, trying to figure it out. Maybe she was just regretting the dance they shared. Although if that were the case, he was pretty sure she would've hit him in some way before racing off into the woods. He hadn't _said_ anything to chase her off…as far as he could recollect. But you never knew with women. Anything could set them off.

"What did you do to her?" Allen accused him, interrupting the pleasing music of the dance.

Trying to contain his dislike for the man, Van turned slowly toward the voice, schooling his face to remain emotionless. "Nothing," he said flippantly.

"You did _something_," Allen growled in an attempt to intimidate Van.

He merely shrugged and gave the knight a sardonic smile. "I still didn't, and trying to twist the truth isn't going to change anything, but I don't really care whether you believe me or not."

"Go after her!" Allen clenched his fist in impotent anger.

"Why don't you? You're the one who's pining away for her affections. I'm just here to enjoy what I get."

Allen's face darkened. "I have…responsibilities here."

Van shook his head and glanced in Millerna's direction. "I'm sure you do." He trudged, resigned, to chase down Hitomi for what he reckoned was the millionth time since he'd met her. When would that girl ever learn to quit running from everything?

* * *

...

Hitomi was curled up in the middle of the archery field, hugging her stomach and moaning. The pain was almost unbearable. She rocked herself back and forth like a baby, trying to calm herself.

Flashes of memories tormented her, like gaggles of small demons with pitchforks prodding her as she writhed on a pole in the middle of a blazing inferno. Memories that made no sense; a gruff, tall wolf-man with gentle eyes smiling at her; a little tow-headed boy wrapping his small arms around her middle; a man ruffling her downy-soft child-hair in fatherly affection; a dark-haired boy her age pulling her out of the mud; a room filled with fine and expensive things, a royal blue bedspread, golden chandeliers, silver candlesticks; a garden that smelled of delicate flowers, the gentle sound of a waterfall pervading the atmosphere; an arrow residing in her palm as she picked up her bow with grim determination.

But over all the collage of memories there was the inferno, searing all the other memories to ashes in her mind. The demons returned in full force; the sounds of the house collapsing; the fire roaring endlessly in her aching ears; the heat burning her from the inside out. And over it all, the child crying…always crying…

_"Noooooo!"_

Hitomi opened her eyes in a flash, drenched in cold sweat. This was the worst attack of her memories thus far, mainly because instead of just feeling things, she could now see them…hear them…know them. Never had it felt so incredibly intense.

Pressing her palm to the hammering inside her chest, she tried her hardest to regulate her breathing. The child…who was that child? Why did its crying break her heart and shatter her hopes?

She lifted her trembling hand to her temple. This was infinitely worse than not knowing. To have obscure glimpses of her past was so much more maddening. To feel…to see…was so much more painful.

Her stomach twisted violently within her. Why couldn't she understand?!

"Hitomi?"

She jerked responsively.

"Van…" She frowned slightly, turning away from his probing gaze.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she muttered, holding herself tight inside.

"You're pale."

She laughed humorlessly. "How can you tell? It's dark."

"I know what you look like in the dark."

Something within her twinged uneasily at his intimate tone. "Leave me alone."

"You've been telling me that ever since you met me," he grinned rakishly. "If I wasn't listening then, what makes you think I'll listen now?"

"You're insufferable."

"I think you've said that before, too," he mused. "Though you were much more…vehement."

Finding it easier to remain silent, she just stared dully at a little blossom by her feet which was illuminated by the blue light of the Mystic Moon. Of all the people she didn't want to see her hurting, Van was at the top of the list. Knowing him, he'd mock her or find some way to turn it back on her. That was the last thing she needed.

He was clearly unnerved by her lack of reaction to his habitual taunts. "What's wrong?" He was frowning at her. "You're never quiet like this."

She shrugged, a faint lift of her shoulders.

"I'm just going to stay until you tell me, you know that."

"What does it matter?" Hitomi responded listlessly. "You're going to be with me for God knows how long. How does your staying all night convince me to tell you?"

For once, he was silent.

Insects chirped all around them, like a symphony of sound wafting by them with the gentle breeze. A sweet scent of wildflower entered her nostrils, and she breathed deep, wishing her soul could feel as pure and untainted. The pain was too intense for tears. She blinked her dry eyes, wondering at the phenomena. To cry would be to degrade what was happening inside of her. She had reached the point where tears wouldn't even suffice to show the hurt.

"You won't tell me?" Van's voice wasn't gentle, nor was it harsh.

She closed her eyes tiredly. "There's nothing to tell."

"There's always something to tell."

"Not with me."

Van crossed his arms. "There's got to be a reason for that, then. _That's_ something."

"Why do you even care?"

He didn't answer for the longest time. She glanced toward him, and saw him staring in deep though towards the Mystic Moon, his brow furrowed in thought. "I have my reasons," he said finally, no hints in his voice as to his meaning.

She let out a breath. "I have no past," she said monotonously.

"Everyone has a past, or they wouldn't be alive."

"I can't remember mine."

His eyebrows drew together further. "But your name…and skills…"

"I can't explain it." She didn't know why she was even trying for him. "I know who I am, how old I am, what I like, but I cannot remember where I came from. My past…everything…is blank."

She avoided looking at him. If there was pity or disappointment in his face…she didn't want to see any of that. She never wanted anyone to coddle and care for her. She could do it herself.

Somehow, she knew she always had.

"No memories at all?"

"The fire," she admitted quietly. "Where I lost it all."

"Lost what?"

She felt like she was shrinking into herself, having let a part of her slip out for a moment. "I don't know."

"What fire?"

"I don't know."

"Are you even trying to remember?"

She looked up at him with cold, expressionless eyes. "You have no right to pry into my life. When I say there's nothing, it means that whether there is nothing or not, no one will know about it. And I'm not about to make exceptions."

"There's always an exception."

"Not for me."

He seemed taken aback by her frigid declaration. She turned away from him, drawing herself even further into the shell she had unconsciously erected between herself and the world. That's why she had the pain, she reasoned. She had gotten close to someone…some people. She would never give fate an opportunity to ever be able to hurt her like that again.

She wouldn't be able to take anymore if she did.

Closing her eyes, she could see her pendant in her mind for some reason, swinging in its second-long arcs. Bringing her hand unthinkingly to her breastbone to hold the object in her hand, she realized with a stab of panic that she had forgotten to put it on. She could still see the pendant swinging, could feel a slight tightening of the old wound across her belly. It reminded her…of something…that happened not that long ago…in fact, she was quite certain it had been very, very recent… The pendant swerved to the left and held its position, and she abruptly opened her eyes.

"Van, behind you!" she gasped.

Without question or rational thought, he dodged to the side, leaving a wide space of empty air for the sword to swing through.

"You!" Hitomi's eyes widened at the crazed silver-haired man.

He sneered at her. "You're so easy to follow," he said mockingly. Turning to her companion, he growled, "Van! The eternal thorn in my side! Do you ever leave this girl, or are you still attempting to get her into bed?"

Van stiffened more than he already had, and if Hitomi wasn't mistaken, his cheeks had shifted tones. "One might wonder about you, since you follow her around the whole time," he said acidly.

The stranger's teeth were bared much like a lion's were before a kill. "I know what I'm looking for, Van. I'm going to get it. Not without killing you, of course. It's been my dream for so long."

Van glared back. "Come on and fight me, Dilandau! Or are you afraid of me?" He spread out his arms, and she could see Van was blatantly empty-handed. But his face had suddenly transformed into his assassin persona, chilling her to the bone. "You won't take her without killing me first."

Hitomi was shocked at his statement. How in Gaia did he imagine he would be able to beat Dilandau?

He didn't. He couldn't have. The odds were stacked too high against him. At least the odds he was aware of…

With a yell of challenge and anticipation, Dilandau charged Van with the sword, missing as the dark-haired warrior nimbly jumped out of the way, swinging around in a roundhouse kick at the stranger's back. Dilandau yelped, and Van kicked at his sword hand violently, and a loud crack echoed over the field. The sword dropped from his nerveless fingers and clattered to the ground, unheeded, as Van jumped on the attacker's back. By now Dilandau had recovered his senses and rage, and he dropped to the ground backwards, all his weight falling on top of Van's chest. The air left the warrior's lungs in a huge _whoosh_ that left Hitomi wincing in sympathy. The silver-haired man jabbed his elbow down hard, hitting the ground as Van squirmed to the side out of the way and from underneath him. Breathing shallowly, Van socked Dilandau in the jaw, making his teeth click together viciously. Dilandau sent a punch toward Van's exposed stomach, making him bend over in pain. They scuffled on the ground more, fists flying and cracks echoing continuously. Hitomi could do nothing but watch them, and inwardly root for Van. _He's the best there is, isn't he? He can win. He's eliminated the sword. He's got a chance. Doesn't he?_ Hitomi had a bad feeling about it, however. _What can go wrong? There's something… There's something not quite right…_

With another bone-cracking punch to the eye, Van kicked Dilandau off of his chest, and backed away in a crab-walk across the ground.

Dilandau brought himself to a kneeling position, holding his injured eye and watching Van suspiciously with his other.

Van stood slowly, preparing to walk forward and take advantage of his opponent's misfortune.

Hitomi saw Dilandau's eyes dart in the direction of the sword Van had forgotten, which was mere feet away from him.

With a brief flash of remembrance, Van's words during one of his lessons resounded in her mind. _"You may be a hot shot with a bow and arrow, but sometimes hand to hand is the only way you can fight back."_

She smiled grimly. _Now_.

"Van!" she shouted, pulling the cloud of red-gold fabric away from her legs. She saw his eyes widen momentarily until he saw the dagger sheath strapped to her upper right thigh.

No time! Dilandau had seen her intent sooner than Van, and was already lunging for his sword. Yanking the dagger from its case, she threw it with the best accuracy she could muster to the warrior, who caught it easily out of the air.

Dilandau was charging again, taking advantage of his opponent's split in concentration. Van ducked out of the way with milliseconds to spare and slashed upward blindly with the dagger.

It seemed as if time froze.

Van stood still, panting, the knife in his hand dripping blood that looked almost black in the night. Dilandau was hunched over, and with brief hope Hitomi wondered if he could be dying. Was the threat gone forever? She saw him straighten slightly, and bring a violently shaking hand away from his face. It was dark with his blood.

"M-my…f-f-face…" he said dumbly, his voice thin and distant. "My beautiful face…" He raised his head, and with a gasp she saw the deep gash running from his ear along his jaw line down to the tip of his chin. Blood streamed like a river down his neck, staining his shirt, and his eyes were dilated. "My face…" With an inhuman scream, he said, "VAN!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!"

He vanished into the foliage. Neither Hitomi nor Van could stop him fast enough.

Van stared at the spot he had last been for a minute, and then regained his motion. Wiping the dagger on the grass to erase the blood, he tossed it over to Hitomi. It landed with a quiet thump on the ground next to her. "Thanks."

She reholstered the weapon, feeling her heart pounding in her ears. She hadn't noticed how tense she had gotten until the threat left. "Do you think he's really gone?"

"He wouldn't stay around now." She noticed that his voice was still in warrior-mode: dispassionate, assertive. "With a wound like that, he'd bleed to death if he didn't go. And his vanity insists that he get it taken care of as soon as possible, to lessen the scar."

"Oh." Hitomi looked off into the trees, silently wondering if anyone else were watching them. She suddenly realized that her wound didn't hurt half as bad as it did before Dilandau showed himself.

Van rubbed his bruised eye gently. "Well, for your sake and mine, I'm glad you learned _something _that I taught you."

Hitomi frowned. "What did you think I was doing when you were teaching? I'm not ten years old, Van!"

He looked down at her emotionlessly, and seemed to consume her whole person in his gaze. "No, you're not," he agreed huskily. He looked up at the sky quickly, and she saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Now if you would pull your skirt all the way down, it would make things much easier for the both of us."

She felt her cheeks heat up. She had forgotten about that. Pulling the material over her legs, she mumbled, "Oops."

Pushing his disarrayed hair off of his forehead, he said, "We'd better get back. We're leaving tomorrow."

Hitomi nodded wordlessly. "You know, Van," she commented, "at first you seemed like you were completely ice, but when you fight…when you actually care…I can see fire within you."

He inclined his head, ignoring her remark. "Let's go. And I _don't_ care. I could die right now…and I wouldn't care."

Chilled at his frank evaluation of his life, she slowly stood and followed him, wondering at the curious warrior she was to accompany to Zaibach.

* * *

...

The morning brought a certain inevitability to Hitomi. She awoke, dressed, and packed her things in a small satchel that went over her shoulder and would fit in the saddle of her horse. Thinking over the people she would be leaving behind, she realized with a small, barely noticeable pang that Gaddes would be the only one she would truly miss. Merle could get annoying at times after all, and Allen was…

She frowned, unwilling to even give him the privilege of her thoughts.

She exited the tent, looking toward the east to see the dark purple clouds at the horizon dusted with a vibrant fuchsia. Though she smiled in her soul, her face held no joy as she watched the fuchsia spread over the clouds like a swarm of insects, changing slowly into an eye-hurting orange that gleamed like fire in the sky. The sky beyond the East turned bluer and bluer, until with a flash, the sun's beams shot over the horizon. The shadows of the tents around her were long, at a length many times their actual height. The green grass of the ground reflected the orange light of the sun, and the dew drops glistened like tiny diamonds on the leaves surrounding her.

"Saddle up."

Van's voice hadn't regained any of the sarcasm he usually used around her. Hitomi didn't mind too much.

"Sure."

It didn't take long for the two of them to get ready, and at long last they stood by their horses as the rest of the camp awoke to bid them farewell.

"Stay safe!" Millerna cried, clinging to Hitomi as if she were going to her death.

Hitomi gently pushed her away. "Don't worry about me, Millerna. I'll be fine."

She sniffed tearfully, and walked away, leaving Allen to look at her, concerned. "Hitomi-"

"'Bye, Allen," she said shortly, and turned her gaze away from him in mute dismissal.

If it hadn't been for Gaddes standing behind Allen and nudging him aside, she was pretty certain Allen would have tried to press the issue. But thanks to his trusty second-in-command, Hitomi was granted a reprieve from his aggravating advances.

"You stay safe, okay?" Gaddes said in a low voice, smiling at her in his buoyant manner. "I don't want to have to try and comfort Millerna, or deal with the Boss's emotional issues. As if he doesn't have enough already."

The corners of Hitomi's mouth turned upward only enough for Gaddes to notice. "You trust Van's teaching, don't you?"

"I suppose I'll have to." He winked at her. "Have a nice trip, Princess."

"You stay safe, too," Hitomi said softly, genuinely. "Brother in my heart."

He touched his fingers to his lips, and then placed them on her forehead. "Come back."

With that he turned, leaving Hitomi with the pleasant feeling of being truly cared for. _I can't_, she tried to recoil. _I can't hurt again; I can't allow someone to come close_… But she realized with an inward sigh that it was too late with Gaddes. She would just have to pray that his skill and intelligence would keep him safe and alive. Of course, he didn't even know everything she went through…he was only there to comfort her when she allowed him to. So…perhaps…in case anything ever happened…it wouldn't be so bad. She would ensure that it was never so bad.

With an inward resolution, she turned to Van, who was being embraced desperately by Merle. "Take me with you!" she shrieked, as if she were being torn apart from her other half. "Don't leave me, Van-sama!"

Van was patting her awkwardly, saying, "I'll be back, Merle. I promise. Don't worry about me."

She continued to sob into his shirt until he pushed her back gently. "It's time," he said gently, uncharacteristically.

She wiped her nose, sniffling. "Bye, Van-sama," she said brokenly as Van mounted his horse. Hitomi followed suit. Merle looked up at her, and suddenly declared, "Don't you hurt Van-sama! If you let him die, I will personally chase you down and rip you apart with my own claws! Don't you let him get hurt!!"

Hitomi frowned. "Merle, you wouldn't be able to rip me apart if you tried. Don't worry about anything."

Van waved one last farewell to the group, and urged his horse forward with his knees. Sighing, Hitomi motioned her horse forward as well, feeling the gentle gait of the horse underneath of her as the crowd yelled various forms of 'goodbye' to their backs.

"What happened to you, Princess? After the dance. You haven't been the same since."

"Nothing."

Van rolled his eyes. "You used to get upset at my questions. Now you just deflect them, and when I bring the subject up again, just refuse to answer. No emotion, no expression. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Your answer's always 'nothing.'"

"Yeah."

He stared straight ahead. "Is this the real you, then?"

Hitomi looked down at her hands. "Yeah."

Van sighed, and shook his head slightly. "You know," he said conversationally, "On the outside you're all fire. Who would've thought that deep down inside of you, all there is, is ice?"

Hitomi bit her lip, letting the comment slide, knowing he was turning her words against her again. He was just trying to rouse her again, and she refused to allow him to. It was better if he really thought that way. Better that he despised her. Better that he stay as far away as possible.

Because somehow, she had the premonition that if he ever got close, he would be able to hurt her in worse ways than she'd ever experienced.

there it is :-D So whaddaya think? I read through it about 4 or 5 times just tonight…trying to proofread…and I'll bet I missed half of the mistakes I think I made… Blah. You all wanted a story quick. wink Hehe just kidding. I wouldn't spit something out that was half rate just to meet a time limit that really is nonexistent. I'm pleased with this chapter, because I honestly didn't know how it was going to work out…and then this came out…and I went 'Hey…that works.' So yes. Indeed. I'm working on the next chapter, of course the scourge of the writer is going to be a heavy burden on my back…(what else would it be but SCHOOL) heh…I will try my hardest to get another chapter out as soon as possible…

Thanks for reading all this nonsense : ) I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am

-wink


	10. Secrets

*pant pant* *gasp gasp* Man it's taken a while for this to get up!! But I was working hard on it all week…I mean, I had to rewrite half of it after I'd already written it, and something wasn't working, and so I had to tweak it some more, and it still wasn't exactly right, and then I came up with more ideas, and then I had to incorporate them into the chapter, sometimes having to omit other parts, and then I had to reread it again and again to check for spelling, grammar, consistency of events and characters, and then I had to read it to check plot-wise, and then….

*Sigh* It's been a long time coming.

But I certainly hope you think it's worth it.

(By the way, I'm totally thrilled that I broke 50 reviews. The moment the 51st came in I was like "YESSS!!")

Alrighty so here are my thanks:

**aradow: heh you're always the first one to read my story, I think : ) Thanks for sticking with me**

**Kim**: Heh well I'm certainly glad you're excited about the story! And of course your review made me smile again, it always does : )

**Avaris**** Sky: nice name, by the way. I won't leave you hanging, don't you worry**

**honeypot: : ) Someday, all your questions will be answered…but in due time…**

**snow**** blossoms: Fluff? Haha, I don't know that I write that much fluff :-D But maybe I'm just not noticing it…somehow…uh…heh. Well, it's possible I suppose. Oh, and in that line "He didn't. He couldn't have. The odds were stacked too high against him. At least the odds he was aware of…" I meant that Van was not aware that Hitomi had a dagger, however, she was most certainly aware of it, and so she would know of the possible shift in the odds, and Van wouldn't…if that made any sense at all.**

**Messenger Of Doom**: heh yeah something just…prodded my thought processes…to keep the scar in there

**Dreamboat Annie**: Thanks for the tip on proofreading : ) And I'm glad that you can't notice my mistakes…because I did : ) But they were so incredibly minor and just things that I would be nit-picky about that I was just too lazy to fix it hehe.

**Sara**: : ) Heh yessirree they're on their way…and you'll see what wonderful things they go through…hehehe…

**dreamingofflyingaway: I made you dance? Haha! That's awesome! I don't believe I've ever made anyone do that before…**

**Fushizen**** na: 'Gorgeous', eh? Heh. I like that. Indeed I will keep writing, you should have no qualms about that.**

**SpitFire06**: I hurried as best I could…Oh, and by the way, I think you're so cool because you used the word 'awesomeness' :-D I sometimes think I'm the only one who says that…

**Lavender:** You don't know how much of a relief it is to hear someone say my characterization is realistic…I constantly fret about silly things like that

**Hana**: Heh ah the stories you have to listen to during lunch…hearing me try and explain a new scene, but without letting you read it… : ) You rock for putting up with me!

**Panabelle**: I saved you for last because you had the longest review : ) Wow that was long but wow I can't tell you how incredibly flattered I am by all that you said *blushes* Ever since you commented about most fanfics being cliché, I've been killing myself to make sure mine doesn't become it. : ) Which means, I edited my next chapter a million and a half times…but it's just as well that you got me to do that because I never really was content with it the way it was originally. I feel much better about it now. Yep, I really like my Van…(hehe I like saying that…'_my_ Van'…*sigh* I can only dream…) And you know what's funny? I never necessarily intended to not totally diss Allen…because I never really liked him at all. From the very start. I was like… 'Poufy sleeves? Long hair? Umm…no.' Hehe but somehow this is how he turned out in the story…and yet I like it better. : ) I love those times when by accident I write something in some way but it turns out to be the best way I could've possibly written it. Hah! So you're a band geek too, eh? I'm so glad you could hear the music along with me : ) And just because you encouraged me, I took my time proofreading… : ) Thanks so much hehe.

Alrighty, so here is what I'm sure you've all been sitting anxiously on the edge of your seats waiting for…*rolls eyes* Well, maybe just occasionally checking to see if I've updated in your spare time. Fine, whatever, just so long as you still want to read it : ).

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Chapter 10: Secrets

            Hitomi looked away from the small fire and up at the stars.

            It had been two days of almost complete silence, so contrary to what she and Van had always shared. There'd always been a spark of some sort there, normally instigated by one party and intensified by the other. There'd always been some disagreement, some problem, for them to argue over.

            But now there was just…silence.

            She sneaked a sideways glance at his strong, immovable profile. He was somewhat handsome, she had to admit. Despite his unruly hair that had a tendency to hang over his eyes and his casual clothing that hung loosely from his muscular frame, he looked like a man of finer breeding. She didn't understand exactly how that was possible; perhaps it was just his presence. The aura he held around himself like a shield. Though at the moment his presence wasn't all that inviting.

            Something had changed, as they had ridden in silence. It was as if his whole personality just flipped a coin. He had somehow transformed from the arrogant swordsman to the brooding warrior. Hitomi could not understand why or how or…well, anything that had to do with the dark-eyed stranger sitting beside her.

            His expression was set; impassive. He always seemed to be in deep thought over things that she could not even take a guess at. Perhaps he was worried about the future. They would be going into dangerous circumstances, after all. Hitomi felt so naïve about it all…she dared not ask him questions, because he would surely mock her for them.

            Or would he? With second thought, she supposed he would probably just disregard her questions with a flippant shrug of his shoulders, and resume his silent contemplations.

            Either way, she didn't want to risk incurring his wrath or his scorn.

            "What?"

            Hitomi started, and then felt her face heat as she realized she had been staring dumbly in his direction. "Oh, uh…nothing."

            He frowned. "Like always, huh?"

            She winced inwardly. He kept bringing that back up. But what else was she supposed to say?__

            He turned away from her to stare into the fire again.

            Continuing to watch him, she commented, "You know, you'll hurt your eyesight by doing that."

            He just grunted.

            "Maybe that's why I'm better at archery than you."

            His eyes shifted ever so slightly to give her a glare that seemed to be lacking in intensity. "Maybe."

            Hadn't she told herself to forfeit any desires of friendship? Then what in Gaia was she doing, trying to instigate another argument between them? Was it just sheer boredom?

            "You should cheer up."

            "Why?"

            "Because nothing bad has happened yet. Jeez, you'd think your family just died and you're trying to plot revenge against their murderer."

            The look in his eyes sharpened. "I could be doing that."

            She rolled her eyes. "Come on, Van. Don't be so obstinate."

            "I'm not the one who keeps asking questions, now am I?"

            She bit her lip, looking at him curiously. "So this is the real you?" she asked him, echoing his words of a few days before to him and hoping it would have the same irritating effect on him that it always seemed to have on her.

            He gave her a smile that was as far from happiness as it could possibly be. "Just about, yeah. Looks like we're made for each other, Princess. You don't want to tell me anything, and I just don't really care to know anything."

            His words struck a chord within her, and for some reason, she found herself objecting. "That's not true."

            He looked at her in a mute demand of explanation.

            "You were always asking me questions before. Why did you suddenly stop?"

            "You wouldn't answer any of them. Why keep punching at a brick wall?"

            "Well…" she fumbled, not knowing why she was pushing the subject. But she felt compelled to do so. "I mean, you have to ask the right question at the right time."

            He lifted an eyebrow wryly. "So I have to coordinate my questions with your mood and current state of mind in order to get anything answered?"

            "No, that's not what I meant." She mentally hit herself. What the heck did she mean anyway? "I mean…you just…uh…"

            "I have to keep asking questions, hoping that at some point you'll answer one?"

            She turned away from him. "You make me sound so ridiculous," she mumbled.

            "You _are ridiculous, Princess."_

            She wrinkled her nose at him. "Why do you keep calling me that? It's getting old, you know."

            "I forgot your name."

            Her eyes contemplated him, trying to determine whether he was being serious or not. With frustration, she realized she couldn't really tell. "Hitomi," she muttered hotly. "My name's Hitomi, dimwit."

            "I know."

            Her cheeks burned again. He always managed to make her sound like an idiot, even when he wasn't trying! Or maybe she really _was_ an idiot. God only knew what she was trying to do with the thread of conversation she was weaving.

            "You want a compromise?"

            She looked his direction, suspicious. "What kind of compromise?"

            He still appeared serious, but no longer completely sullen. "I'll tell you a secret that isn't deep and dangerous, and you can tell me one. Will that satisfy you, Milady?"

            She would've shoved him for his tone if he had been closer. "I guess." She groaned inwardly. Now _she_ was the one sounding sullen. "Go ahead."

            "Me first?"

            "Age before beauty."

            His mouth straightened in thought. "Am I older than you?"

            "I don't know. How old are you?"

            "19."

            "Oh. Well then. Like I said. Age before beauty."

            "Conceited little wench."

            Her eyes flashed momentarily. "Hey, watch it."

            "So how old are _you_?"

            "18."

            "Ah, there's such a gap in our ages…"

            "Shut up and talk. You're the one that suggested it."

            "You're the one that wants it so bad."

            She crossed her arms in a huff. "Well, I don't know what to say."

            A ghost of his usual sardonic smile crossed his lips. "I'll ask you a question."

            Hitomi regarded him warily. "Nothing deep or dangerous."

            He shook his head. "Nothing of the sort," he affirmed. With a strange look in his eye, he scooted over to touch her hair with his fingertips. She felt strangely uncomfortable that close to him, feeling faint embers of the last time he got that close to her in the dark. Would he…?

            Van twirled a strand between his fingers. "Why is your hair so short?" he asked in an odd tone.

            Hitomi felt her mouth curve slightly, feeling more at ease. She could answer this question with no problems. "It's because of the fire," she said quietly. "Millerna said much of it was badly burned in the fire, singed beyond healing. So she cropped it shorter to keep it looking nice…and…well…that's pretty much it."

            "So this is like a temporary scar of the fire?"

            She absently rested a hand on her abdomen, over the scar across her belly. "I guess." She lowered her eyes from his, and said shyly, "It's my turn. Why do you think that your life means so little? Do you have family?"

            He didn't respond for at least a full minute. Hitomi looked up curiously, to find him staring off into nothing with a hard look on his face. A muscle twitched in his cheek. "I did," he finally answered flatly. "They're dead to me now."

            "Oh." She didn't miss the fact that he'd only answered the last question.

            He moved away from her, suddenly painfully distant again. "We should sleep," he said, his voice somewhat gruff. "Tomorrow we will reach an inn we can stay in for the night. My friend owns the place."

            "Oh." She watched him lie down on the ground, a silhouette to her once more. It seemed as if she wouldn't have to try so hard to avoid friendship with Van. The distance between them now might as well have been an impassable abyss.

*          *          *

            Van watched the sun rise in the cloudless sky. The horizon glowed with a pulsating orange while the sky at its zenith remained a soft, deep purple. He idly watched the color spread over the sky like a cloth seeping in liquid. It lightened in indecipherable shades that Van didn't really take notice of.

            His concentration was skewed by the sleeping form beside him.

            He looked over at Hitomi, watching her in sweet repose. She looked almost childlike, her dark lashes fanning her cheeks and her lips puckered in a little 'o'. As his eyes wandered over her form curled in sleep, he grimaced to himself. She was definitely not a child, he rebuked his thoughts. His hormones were soundly reminding him of that fact. His gaze returned to her face, and the crown of golden brown hair that graced her angelic form. He couldn't fathom exactly why the hair suited her so…perhaps it was because she reminded him of a pixie, of something so unreal and intangible.

            Turning his eyes away from the heavenly image, he was reminded of the morning of their departure. He clenched a fist at the memory, seeing it all vividly in his mind.

            _He was organizing his pack. All the essentials were in there, and he felt good to go._

_            A motion of his tent alerted him to someone's presence. Half expecting it to be Hitomi, and half anticipating it, he turned and was greeted instead with sky blue eyes._

_            Allen filled the opening of the tent flap and was using his 'imposing' look on Van again. "I have to talk to you about Hitomi."_

_            Van really didn't want to hear something Allen had to say about _anything_, much less Hitomi. "What?"_

_            "I want you to take care of her."_

_            Van rolled his eyes. "What did you think I would do, kick her around and leave her in the dirt to be eaten by the little dung beetles?"_

_            "Van, be serious."_

_            "I am. What do you take me for, Allen?"_

_            Allen's eyes darkened. "Van, all I'm asking is that you not mistreat Hitomi. Don't use her like a…like…"_

_            "Like you?"_

_            Allen's eyes frosted over. "Just take care of her," he said stiffly, and walked out._

            Van shrugged. Allen was a no-good piece of garbage, and he was profoundly glad that Hitomi had discovered that when she did.

            Not that Van himself really cared for her…

            He looked askance at her person again. No, he didn't particularly care for her. He just didn't want to see any woman be lost to the wiles of some dishonest, conniving, self-righteous, pompous, conceited, arrogant-

            "Van?"

            He shook off his opinion of Allen and composed himself. "Good morning, sunshine."

            She blinked sleepily, adorably, sitting up with a huge yawn. Van bit down on his lip to keep himself from thinking thoughts with which he had no intention of following through. "Sleep well?"

            "As well as you can sleep on the ground," she mumbled, her voice seductively hoarse from sleep.

            Van stood abruptly. "I'd better go get the horses saddled up."

            Hitomi squinted up at him. "What, we're leaving _now?"_

            "Well, I figured it wouldn't hurt to make good time, right?"

            "Van, I just woke up. Give me some time, will you?" She sank back down to the ground and buried her face in her knapsack. "I'm still tired," she said petulantly, her voice muffled by her 'pillow'.

            "You can sleep on the horse," Van stated, jerkily cinching the belt under his horse. Well, his movement was jerky to him. She probably didn't notice at all.

            "No, I can't," she protested.

            He swallowed, wishing he hadn't spoken up. "You could ride with me," he said, feeling the dread within himself. "I'd keep you from falling off. We could tie your horse to mine." _Please, please, don't agree!_

            He avoided looking at her face until her prolonged silence piqued his curiosity too much. As he turned, he saw her staring at him with unbelieving eyes.

            "You're kidding, right?"

            He shrugged. "Not really."

            "You've got to be kidding. Why would I want to do _that_?"

            He smirked, hoping that his façade of arrogance was thick enough to last her perusal. "What, are you frightened of me, Princess?"

            She pushed herself up into a kneeling position, a faint flicker of fire in her eyes. "No!"

            "Prove it."

            "I don't have to prove anything to a block-headed moron like you!"

            "I'm a moron, now, am I? You've called me better names than that."

            "Van, the words I'm thinking of now wouldn't even be appropriate for sailors drunk in a bar!"

            He lifted an eyebrow. "Feisty in the morning, are we?"

            She stood and practically bared her teeth at him. "Will you quit being so…so…damn irritating?!"

            He shrugged. "You're the one who's taking offense."

            "You…you…" she sputtered, looking like she was about ready to throttle him if she got the chance. Hitomi gave him her death glare, which, like always, didn't really have an effect upon him except to make him smile. Blowing the bed-ruffled hair out of her face, she muttered, "I'm sick of this."

            "Of what?"

            "Look, Van, we never really got off to the right start…and I don't know whose fault it was. Frankly, I don't much care at this point. I just don't want to keep arguing. It hurts my head. Can we just stop fighting?"

            "You're the one who fights."

            She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Van, will you just shut up and stop blaming everyone but yourself? I'm not trying to put all the responsibility on your shoulders. I just want a truce. Okay?" She held out a hand, a pained look of strained patience in her gaze.

            Reluctantly, Van took her hand. "Alright…just so long as you don't punch me again."

            She yanked her hand out of his. "I wouldn't punch you if you wouldn't harass me!!"

            They stood glowering at each other for a moment.

            "Fine."

            "Fine."

            And with that shaky truce, they saddled up and rode off, each trying to avoid contact with the other.

*          *          *

            "Van, are we there yet?" Hitomi tried her hardest to avoid sounding like an annoying child, but she suspected that she wasn't succeeding.

            "Have some patience, Princess. We won't be riding too much longer."

            "That's what you said forever and a half ago!"

            He slanted a look at her. "What's wrong, Princess? Can't handle it?"

            "No, it's not that. I'd just rather sit on a nonmoving object for a while, if you wouldn't mind. Your training never included pain-suppression techniques for the butt."

            A tight smile appeared on his face. "I'll have to remember that next time," he mused. Gesturing towards the horizon, he remarked, "If you look closely ahead of us, you'll see the tavern."

            "Oh." She squinted, trying to find the building he mentioned. She could see the faint outline of a black lump, breaking the monotony of the flat fields and rolling hills. She felt a burst of relief at the faint symbol of civilization. Impatiently, she counted off the minutes in her head until she saw the tavern clearly. If Van hadn't been beside her, she would have burst into a full gallop. As it was, she merely smiled.

            They tethered their horses to the front of the tavern with enough slack for them to graze in comfort, and walked into the tavern-slash-inn.

            Hitomi was vaguely reminded of the first time she met Van. The air in this tavern was filled with smoke as well, though not so much as the other. There were fewer people here, too. Perhaps it was because it was earlier in the day.

            The person behind the bar was a gruff wolf-man, tall and strongly built, with dark grey fur covering his whole body. Hitomi blinked, startled. All of a sudden something flashed through her mind…

            _A wolf-man was smiling at her gently. "My little Hitomi," he said soothingly, "sometimes we cannot change the nature of things."_

_            She felt a sob catch in her throat. "B-but…it's not fair!"_

_            His canine eyes gleamed with sympathy and remorse. "Life is not fair, little one. We just must go through life, trying for the best. That is all we can do. I never intended for you to hurt this way. But you must be strong. Your father would have wanted you to."_

Focusing back to the present, Hitomi stared blankly at the bar keeper, forcing the memory to the back of her mind. He was washing the bar top with a rag when he looked up at the strangers. His yellow eyes widened slightly, and a wide, wolfish smile curved his mouth.

            "Van-sama!" he bellowed joyfully, walking over to them to envelope Van in a bone-crushing hug

            "Ruhm." Van embraced him back for a moment before pulling away quickly. "It's just 'Van.'"

            The wolf looked at him curiously, but nodded without question. "And who is this other you've brought with you?"

            "Hitomi," she said for Van, shaking off the confusion from the flash of memory.

            He inclined his head respectfully. "Milady. It's a pleasure to meet you."

            She smiled at his chivalrous manners. In the back of her mind, she wryly wished that Van would pick up a thing or two from this Ruhm. "You can just call me Hitomi."

            "Whatever you wish, Hitomi." Prodding the two over to a table near the corner of the inn, he remarked, "You two look like you must be hungry."

            "Yes, Ruhm, if you could get us whatever you have ready, I'd greatly appreciate it." Van practically pushed Hitomi onto the bench seat and gave her a look that said 'stay here.' Walking halfway back to the kitchen with Ruhm, she saw him tell the wolf-man something to which the other responded with a puzzled look, then a nod.

            Returning with the same unreadable expression he'd taken to wearing lately, Van slid into the seat next to her with a sigh and closed his eyes. "Ruhm has the best ale," he remarked conversationally.

            She decided to not question him about what he had said to Ruhm. They'd yelled at each other enough today. "You're not planning on getting drunk, are you?"

            His eyes opened in slits as he looked aside to her. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Princess. I know my limitations. And getting drunk is definitely not my plan." For a moment, he smirked. "You might try and murder me in my sleep."

            "I would not," she protested, faintly smiling. "Just maim you a little, that's all."

            He muttered, "Too late," and before she could respond, Ruhm had returned with two bowls of steaming hot stew and a mug of ale for Van, a glass of wine for Hitomi.

            She dug in with gusto, realizing now how hungry she'd gotten over the trip today. It was a meat stew of some kind, with bright orange carrots and potatoes that made her stomach growl in pleasure.

            "Hungry, were you?"

            "Immensely," she admitted shamelessly.

            Van watched her eat, taking occasional sips from his mug. She grew uncomfortable under his stare, and turned to look up at him. "Will you quit staring at me? It's really unnerving."

            "Why?"

            She narrowed her eyes at him. "Can you just do something I ask you?"

            "No."

            Letting out a sigh of frustration, she turned back to her stew, startled to find that she'd eaten nearly all of it already. Finishing the bowl, she continued to try to ignore Van, and failed miserably.

            Just when she was about to forfeit her attempt to keep the peace and yell at him for staring at her, he began, "You know-"

            "Van!" Hitomi jumped as a big burly man appeared at their table and clasped Van's shoulder like he was a former comrade-in-arms. "Where have you been for the past few years?"

            "Around," he replied obliquely, with enough good humor in his voice to not offend the man.

            "And who is this little lady?" he asked, leering at her with pale blue eyes.

            "You don't want to try anything," he said easily with a smooth grin that she could tell was lacking, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. "Trust me."

            Only common sense kept Hitomi from hitting him in such a way that he would never forget it. She wriggled uncomfortably in his grip, trying to discreetly relinquish the weight of his arm around her shoulders. With an inaudible sigh, she ceased her futile struggling and leaned back, calmly sipped her wine, and resolved to punish him for this later. For now she would seethe and boil and think evil things about him. Not much ever changed, did it?

            "-missed you," Rafe had continued. "It hasn't been the same without your stubborn neck around."

            _'Stubborn neck' is right. She heartily agreed with the man's description of Van. _Why don't you try 'thick-headed moron' while you're at it?__

            Hitomi let the conversation flow over her as she tried to calm herself. Her eyes examined the people in the tavern, and one man with shoulder-length brown hair and dark eyes winked at her. Unconsciously, she shrunk closer to the protection under Van's arm. A thread of conversation caught her attention.

            "What about the king of Fanelia?" she suddenly asked.

            Rafe gave her an odd look that disappeared once he took a look at Van's face. "Ah…I was just recounting the rumors, milady."

            "What happened?" She couldn't remember ever having known, except hearing bits and pieces from Allen's men at the camp.

            With another glance toward Van, he said, "The king of Fanelia had two sons ten years apart, and the kingdom was prospering in those years. However, one day years ago the eldest son disappeared, for reasons no one could understand. The youngest was then declared to be heir to the throne. After a few years, trouble started brewing between countries again. The next thing anyone knew, Fanelia was razed to the ground, the royal family supposedly killed."

            "Supposedly?"

            "No one ever found the bodies. But because of the burning of Fanelia, people found out that the eldest brother had defected to Zaibach so many years ago. He is now Dornkirk's second-in-command. He never returned to Fanelia. And it's never been rebuilt in the 5 years since it was destroyed."

            "So, Fanelia is just…not even a country anymore?"

            "Only in name, milady. It's a rather sad story."

            "I agree." She frowned. "I wonder if anyone survived…"

            "They couldn't," Van interjected. Squished up against him, she could feel the tenseness in his muscles and couldn't help but wonder why he would be apprehensive. "It's impossible that anyone would've been able to escape that fire."

            Hitomi drank her wine, enjoying the warm feeling that infused her gut as the wine worked its subtle magic. "It's a pity," she murmured into the glass.

            The men continued talking as the sun set, leaving the tavern in candle-lighted darkness. Hitomi struggled to keep her eyes open, but her eyelids seemed to have gained about 10 pounds each. She rested her head against Van's shoulder, uncaring now of how detestable she found him. If he were going to do this to her, then she would use it for all it was worth, and abhor the consequences! Closing her eyes, she heard his strong heartbeat thumping gently in her head, lulling her to sleep with its steady rhythm. He was warm, and for reasons she never could understand, he was as comfortable as every male always seemed to be. Sometimes, she thought God had made men to be the perfect pillows. Her breathing gently slowed, and a fuzzy blackness descended upon her mind.

            "Looks like your lady is ready for bed," Rafe chuckled.

            Van grunted. "Looks like. I'll talk with you later, Rafe." The man nodded, and left the table. Van tried to wake her, but she just incoherently mumbled, "Lemme sleep…"

            Rolling his eyes, he pushed her over so that he could get out from behind the table and lifted her easily in his arms. Catching the wolf-man's attention, he said, "Ruhm, you got somewhere we can stay tonight?"

            Ruhm glanced up and, seeing Van's burden, nodded. "We do have a room available. Farthest door to the right," he explained, gesturing to the other half of the large building. "No charge." He winked at him suggestively.

            Van ignored his implication and strode towards the room. After closing the door, he dumped Hitomi unceremoniously onto the bed, waking her.

            "Wha…" She blinked up at him, her eyes widening as she took in her surroundings. "What are you-"

            "Relax, Princess. I'm not going to do anything." He tossed a pillow at her. "Get some sleep. I'll be back later."

            She watched him leave, and then turned her back to the door and settled down into the mattress. Fine. She'd listen to him just this once. It wasn't as if he'd had the idea first, anyway…

*          *          *

She couldn't breathe.

            Lightning. Thunder.

            Fire.

            Heat.

            Such intense heat.

            She tried to run, tried to get away from the flames licking up around her ankles. Desperation gave her an energy unlike any she'd felt before. She could run for days; so long as she could outrun the threat.

            Crying.

            She stopped, and turned back. Someone was crying. She couldn't leave them there! Practically pushing the flames aside, she leaped back into the inferno, searching for the child, always hearing the crying but never seeing the child. She could feel the tongues of fire licking against her skin, could smell the acrid stench of singed hair and burned flesh. But she kept pushing on. She had to find the child. No one could be lost!

            A vicious explosion of fire burst underneath her, and she could feel her body being torn apart, piece by piece.

            And all the while, the crying continued…

            The pain consumed her soul. She felt like the fire was burning her from the inside out, as if Hell were filling not only her world but her very body. Her stomach felt as if someone had reach inside and pulled her insides out with a dull spoon, and then stabbed it with a butcher's knife. The pain was unbearable.

            Looking up with tears in her eyes, she saw a faint glimpse of the sky beyond the burning flames…and then, an angel descending from above…

*          *          *

            The door slammed, jolting Hitomi awake from the dream. In all actuality, the door had been shut with as much care as possible, but her heightened senses had amplified everything. She could feel the cold sweat on her forehead, and tried to slow her rapid breathing. The last thing she wanted was for Van to sense something was wrong.

            "Don't pretend," she heard him sigh. "I didn't mean to wake you."

            "It's alright." She was still turned away from the door, and tried to swallow with her dry throat. "It wasn't your fault."

            "Whatever." She felt him pull an extra blanket from the other side of the bed and yank the second pillow from behind her head. After much rustling, he finally settled down, having apparently made himself a bed on the ground.

            She turned around on the bed, twisting the sheets, feeling lightheaded from the intensity of her dream. "Van?"

            "Yeah?" his voice floated up from below her.

            "Um…why'd you…do that at the table today?"

            She could hear his defenses rise in his voice. "Listen, Princess, don't get mad at me. I was going to talk to you about it before Rafe-"

            "I'm not mad," she quietly interrupted, surprised to find that it was true. The dream had taken all of her anger out of her and left her rather weak. She didn't have the energy to fight tonight. "I'm just asking."

            He must've thought about her words for a little, trying to gauge the truth to them, because he took a while to answer. "I did it to protect you," he said simply.

            "Why?"

            "You didn't see how those men were looking at you, did you?"

            She shook her head, and then realized he obviously couldn't see that. "How were they looking at me?"

            "If they think that you're mine, they'll be sure to stay away. I protect what's mine."

            Hitomi could feel her face warm at his words. _'I protect what's mine.' She tried to will away the embarrassment, because it was total foolishness. She would never be 'his' in that sense, for obvious reasons. Moving around on the bed, looking for a comfortable spot, she bunched up the pillow under her head for more support._

            She heard him chuckle humorlessly and mumble something to himself. Her mouth flattened in brief thought. She could've sworn he'd just said, "You weren't even wearing that dress…"

            "Well…" She faltered for a moment, feeling awkward but not knowing why. "Thank you."

            "Yeah," he said, his voice a little gruff. "So, since you're up anyway," he tried to say nonchalantly, "What woke you up before me?"

            "Um…well, it was just a dream."

            "A dream?"

            "Yeah." Hitomi bit her lip, seeing the fire in front of her eyes. "About the fire."

            "Ah yes, that elusive, infamous fire which snatched your life away from you."

            She frowned. "It's not funny!"

            "No, I know it's not," his voice sobered abruptly. "It's one of those little secrets we're not supposed to talk about." He hesitated a moment. "You're okay?"

            "I'm fine," she said, knowing it wasn't completely true. "Don't worry about me."

            "Nothing I can do to help, I suppose."

            "Unless you want to sing me to sleep," she said with a small smile.

            She heard him snort. "In your dreams, Princess."

            "I think that would be 'nightmares,' Van," she quipped.

            She saw the silhouette of his head as he raised himself up to her level. "You better watch it, Princess. I may not always be as forgiving as I am right now."

            "Why are you even being forgiving?"

            "Because I want to sleep!"

            He dropped back to the floor, apparently done with the conversation and her.

            "Van?"

            No answer.

            "Van?"

            _He is stubborn as a mule, she thought with an odd mixture of amusement and anger. Turning back around, she snuggled deeper into the pillow and blew out a long breath. The dream would be haunting her now, she knew it. She doubted she would be able to get back to sleep. She'd hoped that the banter between her and Van would continue long enough to erase the dream from her mind. All that nonsense about wishes was proved to be wrong yet again._

            She shivered involuntarily as the memory of the fire touched her skin. The dream was always the same before, but this time… She couldn't remember exactly what had happened, but she remembered something distinctly different near the end. She didn't seem to remember feeling as hopeless as always at the end.

What had changed?

*          *          *

            She hadn't been able to sleep.

            Hitomi lay in bed, listening to Van's soothing breathing. She could see the sky lightening the deep purple clouds outside the window. She never woke up for sunrise. How horrible.

            Moaning under her breath, careful to make as little noise as possible, she slipped out of the room and walked outside. Breathing in the clean morning air, she tried to let her tension slip to the ground beneath her feet. Her head hurt.

            The sun never showed itself. The clouds were thick across the sky, now a faint bluish-purple and creating a dismal atmosphere to the morning. _What a way to wake up from a nightmare._

            She'd thought about it all night, and she hadn't yet figured out what was different about the dream. She remembered sensations…hope…excitement…peace.

            But any visual or auditory memory was eluding her senses.

            Rubbing her face tiredly with her hands, she shook her head despairingly. She'd never figure anything out. Why had she ever thought she could, anyway?

            Hitomi wandered back to the tavern, meeting Van in the doorway of their room. "What were you doing?" he asked suspiciously.

            "I was trying to think," she said coolly.

            "You shouldn't be walking around alone. You might get hurt, or worse."

            "Weren't you watching me?"

            "Yes, but…" He growled in impotence, very much like his wolf-man friend. That must've been a trait he _did_ pick up. It was too bad he didn't learn anything else. "Don't do it again. Not without asking me. I may not always be following you to keep the bad guys off your back."

            "I don't need a babysitter!"

            "That's not what I'm saying."

            "Then what _are you saying? Please explain it to me, because you haven't made a bit of lucid sense since we left Allen's camp!"_

            His eyes narrowed. "Just don't wander off unless I say you can," he said evenly.

            "You're not the boss of me."

            "Right now I am. And I don't want you going places alone."

            "You went off alone," she accused.

            "That was different."

            She arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? How so? Do you really think you are that indomitable? That no one can touch you and inflict pain on you?"

            He frowned. "No. But-"

            "Van, your excuses aren't good reasons. I already know. Don't tell me not to do something that you do all the time."

            "I didn't go off alone," he defended. "I was with Ruhm. And we were inside the tavern the whole time, not out in the open. We needed to discuss some things."

            Hitomi understood the validity of his argument, but she was too fired up to give up now, even if he really was right. She wasn't willing to admit he was right to him. That would just have to remain another of her hidden secrets. She knew with a bit of reproach that she had been pretty stupid to wander outside all alone. _Truce, my butt! What was I thinking? I should've known that Van and I can't stay in close proximity to each other without some kind of loud disturbance, no matter how much either of us may want the peace._ Closing her eyes, praying for patience, she finally muttered, "Just…let's just go, Van. Alright? I just want to go."

*yeah I know this one was long…but I suppose it makes up for the week I spent dealing with it, eh? : ) I hope it was worth the wait…

School is really Hell right now…so it may be another week at the least til I can update again…I'm just warning you guys. But I try, I really do, it's just the whole writing-thought-process sometimes can't be rushed, y'know? And writing in the middle of math class isn't always the best idea in the world…:-/ 

I know I write a lot about sunrises…hehe so far I think there've been three different descriptions…but you see, every morning I leave for school and the sun is just rising…so I get to see the sunrise in my rearview mirror : ) And I've seen plenty different ones, which must be why I keep putting them into the story…

Well I shall be awaiting to hear if any of you find any mistakes…cuz I'm worried that since I've read over this for a week, I'm missing a lot. But anyway. Eh. I'll keep writing and reading….

Thanks for reading!!*

-wink


	11. Boys

Woo!! Next chapter!! :-D It didn't take so long this time…hehe…I wrote it around…mm…Saturday? Maybe…I've been contemplating it and editing it since then…and I have reached the point where I approve it for posting for you guys! :-D Quick work, eh? Go me…

Alrighty so here be my thanks…

**aradow: Wow you astound me!! You really _have been the first to update every time! I'm glad you're interested to see how the two 'obstinate mules' as I so lovingly call them in my mind *wink* will open up… Thanks for having so much faith in me *big smile*_**

**Fushizen**** na: One of your favorite? Aww….*blushes***

**Kim**: Haha I love the way you start off all your reviews…always makes me laugh *wink* you have that gift. Oh and my cousin actually had just sent me "I Give, You Take" like a day before your review came in…rather eerie…anyway despite the fact that that's not the music I commonly listen to, I did enjoy it quite much…great piano part (yeah I'm biased) and great lyrics…hehe. Glad you like my sunrises. I'd like sunrises in real life better if they didn't have to happen so dang early, you know? Yeah I always did want Hitomi's hair to be longer…but somehow the short look works with her character. *shrugs* Can't explain it. Oh, and whether it will stay like that…I don't know. Depends how much time passes in the story.

**honeypot: Whenever any future-romantic couple fights, I always find it amusing!! Haha yeah…it's kinda cliché I suppose…but it's so funny, I suppose I get away with it *wink***

**Tevrah**: Thanks!!

**Sara**: Hehe well my math class is really easy…so that's why I write in there. *smile* I'm glad you're liking my characters and imagery…I really do try hard, because as much as you're supposed to use your imagination in reading, I don't like having to come up with _everything on your own, you know?_

**dreamingofflyingaway: Oh, I made you skip this time, did I? *big smile* Thanks for being so positive about my mistakes…haha always makes me laugh when I find some anomaly that I don't like, but I'm just too lazy to fix and since no one mentioned it I figure they didn't notice hehe.**

**Messenger Of Doom**: I highly doubt you are on the edge of your seat, but thanks anyway *smile*

**SabineballZ**: Haha yes they are indeed 'stubborn mules' *big smile* I'm waiting for them to get a bit together too, girl…the story has a mind of its own. It goes where it wills. But eventually…eventually…*sly smile* *snicker*

**anon**: I'm trying to keep the same rate…really I am.

**Hana****: I almost forgot you!! You need to send me emails or something…cuz that's how I keep track of who reviewed…hehe. Anyways, thanks for listening to my goofy self!**

*sigh* So here it is…and I apologize in advance if all of you are completely mislead by the title…I think it suits this chapter quite well (it took me a while to come up with it) although chances are you all are gonna think it means something other than what it's there for… Please don't hurt me! *innocent eyes* The story will continue 'til it reaches the end, which I know what it's gonna be, so don't get mad! Patience!!

Something tells me I'm worrying for nothing…but…stick with me. *hesitant smile* It may seem like it's going nowhere at times, but it really is, trust me!

So without further ado…here it be.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Although the auxiliary characters which were not in the movie or series are mine…yes indeed…

Chapter 11: Boys

            "Allen, will you stop worrying?"

            Allen raked his hands through his blonde hair. "I'm just worried that she could get hurt. Why did Van want to take _her_, anyway? Isn't she the one they're trying to get?"

            Millerna patted his shoulder soothingly. "Allen, Van has his reasons, I'm sure. He wouldn't do something rash or reckless. He knows better."

            His mouth flattened. "I hope so," he said darkly.

            She kissed his forehead. "Why are you so worried? You don't trust him?"

            "No." He looked up at her. "You do?"

            "What reason do I have to doubt him?" Millerna sat beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Allen, you never were very good at waiting or trusting someone else in important matters. You need to learn that you are not everyone's protector."

            "I know I'm not."

            She sighed sadly. "No, you don't."

            He pushed her off his shoulder. "What do you know?" His eyes were cold, cutting her heart. "You don't know anything!" Brushing her aside, he strode out of the tent, pain and confusion filling the lines on his face.

            Millerna felt her eyes burn with tears. Biting her lip, she looked away. Allen was so hard to love. She knew she loved him…but sometimes he could just be so distant…so… She closed her eyes tightly, feeling a lone tear slip out of her eye and down her pale cheek. It didn't make any sense at all, but she couldn't help but love him. She always had.

            And she always would.

*          *          *

            "Oh, this is just great."

            Hitomi's face was the epitome of disgruntlement.

            "Well, it's not like _I _planned this," Van muttered back, looking around for some shelter from the impending rain.

            She should've known better when she'd seen the thick belt of clouds across the sky that morning. They had just been _threatening_ rain, but she'd overlooked it somehow. Hitomi felt a few drops on her sleeve, and promptly joined Van's search for a covering of some sort. She really didn't feel like getting soaked.

            "There!" He pointed, and Hitomi whirled to follow his gaze.

            "Where?" Her eyes caught sight of what he was referring to. "Oh, no. You can't be serious…"

            "Well, unless you want to get wet, that's just where we'll have to go," Van stated pragmatically, already heading in that direction.

            With an inward grimace, she followed him towards the small rock overhang. It was just high enough and wide enough for two people to sit together…that is, if they sat together exceedingly close.

            Peering under the rock at Van positioning himself comfortably, Hitomi frowned. "How am I supposed to fit in there?" The rain began to pick up in earnest.

            "Princess, I really could care less whether you come out of the rain or stay and get soaked."

            She glared at him without any real heat, and squished in beside him, grumbling to herself. "I hate these predicaments."  

            "Why is it such a predicament?" he asked lazily. "It's not like we haven't been traveling together alone for several days."

            She wrinkled her nose at him. "Will you just shut up?"

            "You're the one who keeps talking."

            Growling under her breath, she twisted her body to rest at a diagonal angle on his. A few minutes of silence descended between them, and Hitomi's temper began to cool off gradually. Despite her awkward situation, she felt peace as she listened to the rain fall, muffling all other noises.

            "It's so quiet when it rains," she murmured contemplatively, feeling her frown lines disappear.

            "Not when you're around."

            Sensing that she was about to retort, he quickly said, "Sorry." She could hear the slight mirth in his tone. "I couldn't resist."

            "You never can, can you?" she said darkly.

            He shifted behind her. "I suppose I deserved that," he said, unruffled. "So, since we're not going anywhere for a while, how about some more secrets?"

            "You make it sound like it's a game."

            "Sometimes it feels like it," he said good-naturedly. "So you want me to ask a question, or are you going to just say something?"

            She didn't reply for a moment, just idly watching the water cascade off of the top of the rock. Idly, she wondered whether he was just trying to get her off of his back, regretting his comment. But with a second thought, she decided he wouldn't care about her that much. Hitomi wrapped her arms around her knees. "I love the rain," she confessed quietly. "I don't know why exactly…but I know I've always loved it. Somehow…I just know. It's just…so soothing. Replenishing. It cleanses and purifies. It's just…" She trailed off, finding no more words to say to effectively express her thoughts. Calm descended upon her as she concentrated on the wispy sounds of the rainfall.

            He chuckled, and for the first time she noticed that he rumbled against her back when he spoke, sitting this close to her. "I started learning to use the sword when I was…God, I can't even remember how old I was. I did it because my older brother would practice, and I always wanted to be like him…" With a faint crease between her eyebrows, Hitomi wondered whether it was possible she actually heard restrained emotion within Van's voice. "It was also a good way to release frustration," he continued in a less confined tone, "and that's how I became so proficient at it."

            A comfortable silence fell between them, as each treasured the other's token of trust in their own unique way.

            Hitomi closed her eyes and let her body absorb the sensations swirling around her. She felt a peace and contentment she'd not experienced in a long time. The cool breeze caressed her forehead, the rhythmic pattering of rain soothing her mind. She breathed in deep, and inhaled Van's scent right next to her. She felt her stomach twist slightly, as an unprecedented warmth filled her from the inside out. He smelled like a field…like sun, wind, and rain. Like all things good and wild and free and…

            Her eyes blinked open. _What?!_

            She instinctively tried to put as much space between them as she could, which amounted to a paltry inch at the most within the confined space of the shelter.

            "What's wrong?" She could hear his frown in his voice.

            "Nothing."

            She looked sideways at him, only to find his mahogany eyes watching her with some indescribable emotion. "That again, huh?" he said flatly. Shrugging, he turned his back to her. "Whatever, Princess. You can stay in your little world and I'll stay in mine, alright?"

            Feeling a strange sense of loss within her, Hitomi mirrored his movement, staring hard into the distance. The inch that separated them might as well have been a mile.

*          *          *

            "So, they are on the move?"

            "Yes." The man's gravelly voice echoed in the chamber. "They are searching for you, Folken."

            "I know." The tall man in the draping cloak bowed his head, his eyes closed in respect. "I have suspected that the Dragon would come one day. He never was one to give up."

            "The girl has remarkable power," the old man said. "It is best she does not realize it."

            "Indeed, Dornkirk."

            "She must not become close with the Dragon. I have foreseen the destruction it would cause. The Dragon must be neutralized. Can it be done?"

            The tall, pale-haired man's mouth curved at the edges in a mocking smile. "The Dragon does not need to be neutralized. He is quite adept at doing it himself."

            "Indeed?" The man's voice was curious. "How so?"

            "The sorcerers have been keeping track of their emotions. It is not very hard to follow, considering both appear to harbor extreme feelings of resentment toward each other most of the time. Knowing the Dragon as I do, I can only suspect he is to blame for much of the friction."

            "Perhaps," the man murmured thoughtfully. "Will he stand in the way of our plan?"

            Folken bowed slightly. "I will make sure that he does not."

            "Very good."

            The man's face faded from the wall, and Folken's eyes opened in reddish slits. Peering into nothing, he murmured, "Van. So you have come to find me." His cloak moved aside to reveal a gruesome metallic attachment rather than a human arm. Gazing at it dispassionately, he continued talking, his voice deep and with just a hint of painful hope lacing its dark syllables. "I hope you will listen to what I have to say. I hope you will understand what I must do. What I have already begun. For the good of Gaia.

            "For _your_ good."

*          *          *

            "Why are we stopping by a village?"

            Van frowned at her. "I need to get some more information."

            "Let me guess…your 'connections?'"

            "Yes."

            "Will I ever get to know what's going on?"

            "Maybe."

            She let out a breath. "Fine. Will I at least be able to wander around within the village? Is it a dangerous place?"

            Van shook his head. "No. I know everyone in the village. It is quite safe. You can roam the marketplace, if you like. But I would ask that you not leave the village proper."

            "Why would I do that, Van? I'm not stupid."

            He raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.

            Hitomi wished she could hit him with good reason.

            Sometimes he was just insufferable.

            At least she wouldn't have to endure his aggravating presence the whole time. He had given her _permission_ to go somewhere alone, and by God, she would!

            Wandering around the marketplace some time after Van had curtly reminded her to 'not do anything foolish,' she stopped over a bridge, looking out over the small river that rushed beneath her. It was soothing, and she found that she had forgotten how pleasant being alone could be. It was so nice to know that Van would not be coming up behind her, interrupting her musings with his cold or insensitive comments.

            Closing her eyes, she listened to the bubbling brook and bustling sounds of the marketplace, enjoying the pure normality of it all.

            "Hello."

            A tugging on her shirt brought her attention to a little boy standing beside her.

            He was beaming like a little ray of sunshine. "I've never seen you before," he said curiously. "You're pretty."

            Hitomi blushed slightly. "That's very sweet of you to say that," she smiled.

            His pale hair gleamed in the sunlight, and clear blue-gray eyes peered up at her from underneath golden brows. "My name's Hideki. What's yours?"

            _Hideki…_

            She blinked, once again her world shifting from under her feet.

            _A little boy wrapped his small, chubby arms around her waist. She must have been just barely a teenager._

_            "Hitomi, will you teach me to sing?"_

_            She laughed. "Silly boy, I can't sing. You know that!"_

_            "Nuh-uh." He shook his head emphatically. "Papa says you sing like those pretty sunrise birds that live in Fanelia."_

_            "Papa also says that angels exist," she chuckled._

_            "They do!" The little boy's blue eyes were instantaneously serious. "I saw one!"_

_            She smiled tolerantly. "Now Hideki, where would you have been able to see one?""_

_            "I did," he insisted. "He flew over me once. He didn't know I was looking."_

_            "I'm sure he did." She patted him on his blonde little head. "How about we just go play in the river? You have those boats Jael made for you, right?"_

_            "Ye-ess…" he said carefully, obviously wanting to prove to her the existence of angels. "But-"_

_            "Hideki, we'll talk about other things there, okay? Just run and get your boats."_

_            At her promise, his face lit up and he beamed up at her. "I love you, Hitomi!" he said in his excited child-like voice, and after giving her another big hug, he raced down the hall._

_            Hitomi felt herself smile tenderly at the little boy scampering off, anticipation obvious in his every movement…_

            She blinked. Looking down at the boy, who now seemed to her like déjà vu, she remembered he had asked her a question. "Uh, my name's Hitomi," she said.

            "Are you from here, Hitomi?"

            "Not really," she murmured.

            His big eyes were adorably serious. "Are you an angel then?"

            She smiled gently, reminded of that memory…whatever it was. "No, I'm not. Though I wish I was."

            "I think you are," he stated positively.

            "Well, we can pretend then. You can be an angel, too."

            "Really?" His eyes widened. "I can be an angel?"

            "You look like one," she laughed.

            "Do you want to play? I would like to play with you, Hitomi." The little boy pleaded up at her with puppy-dog eyes.

            Her heart irresistibly softened. "I think perhaps you should ask your mother," she suggested. "She might not like you playing with a stranger."

            "Okay!" He rushed off towards a booth in the marketplace, and tugged on a brown-haired woman's skirt. The woman looked in Hitomi's direction, and then back at her son. She listened to him jabber some more, and then nodded and walked hand in hand with the boy to Hitomi.

            "Hideki tells me that you're an angel," the woman said with an understanding smile. Her brown eyes had creases at the corners from long days of hard work, but they still shone with the inner brightness of one who is truly content in life.

            Hitomi chuckled. "He's got quite an imagination."

            "Yes, he does." The woman looked at her speculatively, but also with good humor. "You are Hitomi?"

            "Yes."

            "It's a pleasure to meet you Hitomi. I am Janna. Perhaps you might like to watch my son for a while." She smiled amusingly down at her son. "He is a handful, and does his best to cause havoc among the marketplace."

            Hitomi looked at the woman, slightly surprised. "You would trust me to watch him?"

            "I am an excellent judge of character, Hitomi. You are most definitely one I can trust. And in addition to that, my son doesn't take an instant liking to strangers very often."

            Hideki was looking up at her hopefully.

            Hitomi couldn't erase her smile even if she wanted to. "I would be delighted to play with Hideki as long as I stay here," she said truthfully, emphasizing 'play' for Hideki's sake rather than 'watch.'

            With joyous excitement, Hideki wrapped his arms around her waist. "Let's play with my boats, Hitomi! I have so many!"

            Waving goodbye to Janna, with a promise that she would not stray far, Hitomi turned her attention to her tiny charge. She shook her head. _This is too eerie. What are the chances that… Did I have this in a vision at some point? Did this happen at some point in my past? Or is it just…Does history really repeat itself?_

            Van watched Hitomi from across the marketplace.

            Bohdan's information had been very helpful. Without it, they would probably still be heading in the wrong direction. Thankfully, no one seemed to know of Van's clandestine contacts. It was best if it could be kept that way, Zaibach's spies believing that they were still heading in the wrong direction.

            They should probably leave now, to make up for lost time. But for some reason, Van was feeling almost lethargic. He leaned back in the chair to make himself more comfortable.

            She had found a little boy. One that obviously took to her like a duck takes to water. They were playing with boats, or some such nonsense, underneath the bridge.

            He frowned in thought, his serious eyes observing her intently. He'd never seen her like this. It was like something had changed. She didn't appear to be the temperamental, sarcastic, secretive Hitomi that he had always seen. It was like her whole persona had softened, showing a side of her that she must have buried under the mounds of defense she had erected around her heart. But somehow, it didn't surprise him half as much as it should have. Because he'd seen it on her face before.

            He'd seen it while she was sleeping.

            He knew the truth. Not only was she a beautiful woman, she had a beautiful soul. Two things that would snag a man and tie him down for life.

            He pitied the poor lout who was unfortunate enough to fall in love with her.

            Because she could be so impatient, so irritating, so utterly stubborn. He'd seen it in her eyes that she had known she was wrong the other morning, but she had been far too obstinate to admit it to him. And what kind of a man wanted a woman he would fight with forever? A woman who would never admit to being wrong?

            Certainly not him. He hadn't the time nor the patience.

            Of course, life _would_ be rather dull with a woman who conceded to everything he said…

            He didn't like either extreme. It was just as well he remained alone.

            After all, he wouldn't know what to do if he _had _wanted to find a woman to spend the rest of his life with.

            Bohdan returned at that moment, plunking a mug of water in front of him. "So, she is your partner, eh?"

            "Such as it is," Van murmured.

            "She is quite beautiful," he mentioned. "You must be having trouble beating the men away from her."

            Van shrugged. "I don't wear a sword just to make my belt sag at the hip."

            "Of course." Bohdan grinned. "I should have known just a look from you would quell the anxious mob."

            The dark-haired man rolled his eyes. "Yes, they have been pursuing her like flies after rotten meat," he muttered sardonically.

            "Most interesting metaphor, Van." The man's hazel eyes twinkled. "You have taken a liking to her, no?"

            "Not really."

            "Oh?"

            Van's brows lowered as he looked in his companion's direction. "Don't tempt me, Bohdan. You know when I say something that that is the end of it."

            "I'm sure it is."

            "I don't like her," Van stated, almost protesting. "She's too headstrong for my taste. Besides, she's made it clear on several occasions that she wishes I would drop off the edge of Gaia."

            "Definitely true love."

            Van's eyes glared at the man. "If love is synonymous with hate, then it is."

            "You'd be surprised at the nature of love."

            His laugh was harsh. "_Love._ How pointless. What good is love except to break your heart over and over again?"

            "Have you ever been in love?"

            "No. But I've seen what it does to people. Frankly, I'd rather remain a recluse than have to go through such problems. It's like love intensifies all your problems, making something that should be insignificant seem like the biggest malady in the world. I can't stand the absurdity of it all."

            "You have such a bleak view of the world, Van," Bohdan chuckled. "It astounds me how you've lived so far."

            "That's if you can call it 'living,'" Van said flatly.

            Bohdan's humor lessened. "Van, revenge isn't the meaning to life."

            "Don't tell me how to live." The hard edge had come back into his eyes. "You've never experienced it," he said coldly to his friend. "The empty, helpless feeling of knowing that someone you love is dying but there is nothing you can do to help. The knowledge that forever haunts you, telling you that you should've done something. Knowing that you'll never be able to truly make it right."

            "You're right. I haven't. But I have experienced one thing that you never have."

            "What's that?"

            "Love may be the greatest pain, but it is also the greatest joy in life. To know someone loves you for not only your abilities, but your faults as well. Without love, life is just existence. With love, life is actually _living."_

            Bohdan patted Van's shoulder in farewell, leaving him to stare in Hitomi's direction blindly. After a few minutes of mute contemplation, he stood from the chair, stretching as he did so. With a final glance in her direction, he turned and walked away to restock their supplies.

*          *          *

            He next found Hitomi and her little charge lying on the grassy bank beside the river, gazing avidly at the sky.

            "Hideki, I honestly cannot comprehend how you would see that in the clouds," she laughed, her lilting voice reminding him piercingly of the sunrise bird of his homeland.

            "Hitomi, you're silly!" the little boy exclaimed. "_Anyone can see it!"_

            "Apparently _I _can't," she stated good-naturedly, ruffling his pale hair, and then brushing it back from his forehead.

            For the first time, Van felt very awkward eavesdropping, but he couldn't understand why. He cleared his throat, hoping it was an unobtrusive yet effective way to make his presence known. Watching her any longer would just intensify the bizarre thoughts that persisted in infusing his mind.

            Hitomi sat up abruptly and turned in his direction. "Oh. It's you."

            Her lack of enthusiasm did nothing to diminish the memory of the pure, unadulterated happiness he'd seen for just a moment within her eyes, right before she had looked at him. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

            The little boy – Hideki, he recalled her identifying him – pushed himself up as well. "Who is it?" he asked innocently, looking with wide, inquisitive eyes towards Van.

            "It's – ah – a friend," Hitomi explained obliquely, patting the little boy's blonde hair affectionately. "Stay here. I'll be right back, I promise."

            "Okay," he grinned trustingly, lying back down on the soft grass.

            With an expression of strained patience on her face, Hitomi walked towards Van. "What do you want?" she asked in a low voice.

            He regarded her solemnly. "We should start going."

            "Now?"

            He could hear the faint sadness in her voice, quite positive that she was unaware it was there. "We've been going the wrong way," he admitted. "And we can't stay in one place for too long. It's too dangerous."

            "We haven't even been here a day!"

            "I know." He tried to keep his tone sympathetic, having taken notice of the bond she'd developed with the boy. "But it's not only dangerous for _us."_

            Closing her eyes in silent acquiescence, she nodded with understanding and sighed. "Alright. Just let me say goodbye."

            Van felt his mouth curve in a slight grin. "Why haven't you taken to me as quickly as you've taken to this little one?"

            Her face showed she wasn't amused. "_He's_ not heartless and rude."

            "When have I been rude?"

            Her eyes cooled. "I could list several instances."

            "Go ahead."

            Her eyes narrowing, she said, "That day I was practicing my archery, and you got upset at me for something that was your own fault, and you…you…"

            "Kissed you?"

            She made a face. "That _wasn't_ a kiss!"

            "Then what is?"

            Crossing her arms stubbornly, she remarked, "Well, it wasn't a _proper kiss."_

            "Do you _want a proper kiss?"_

            "No! And certainly not from the likes of _you!" Turning away from him, she strode back toward her companion, sitting beside him and talking quietly. He sat up and responded, looking up at her sadly. She nodded, her mouth tipping slightly in a soothing smile. They stood together, holding hands as she said one more thing. The little boy wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, saying something that was obviously muffled in her shirt. She laughed lightly, crouching down to look him in the eye. With a tender smile, she brushed the hair back from his forehead and kissed it gently. Pulling back, she murmured one last thing that he smiled at, and then he turned and raced away to the marketplace._

            Hitomi remained in her crouched position, watching the little boy disappear into the throngs of people and waving at someone he couldn't see. A bittersweet smile curved her soft lips, and as he watched her Van couldn't help but feel jealous of a little boy and his open smile.

*:-D I do like that ending…yes indeed…*snicker*

So did any of you catch the picture of Folken that I tried to describe? *big smile* It's pretty popular…I feel like I see it on every Folken website…you know, the picture with him looking at his metal arm almost sadly…hehe.

Yeah so with my writing, you may catch glimpses of pictures from Escaflowne…you know, in the writing you'll just be like… 'hey wait a minute…I KNOW THAT PICTURE!!' If you've seen many of the pictures of course…if not, well then…uh…you'll just be like 'oh that's nice.'

Indeed, yeah, so enough of this pointless rambling. Anyone catch any little boo-boos? I think I got most of them all…but if you see any tell me, k?

I don't have a clear and concise plan for the next chapter so it may be a little touch-and-go there for a while…next update may be in a little bit…don't get your hopes up…I'd rather you guys be surprised than disappointed. At least that's my philosophy…the pessimistic optimist, to the very end *wink*.  
Yeah so, hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I like writing it! Til the next chapter!!

-wink*

*ps. You know what's funny…in my profile I explain why my nickname is 'wink' and then I assert that I don't really wink that much…but as I look back over all my comments…I find that statement to be in error *wink* hehe strange…*


	12. Eyes

Woo!! Next chapter is SOO done! And yes…you hopeless romantics…yes indeed…you _will_ be pleased with this chapter :) And you other peoples who aren't such hard-core romantics…well…I still think you'll be pleased as well. I certainly hope so, anyway.

Alrighty so I must write my thanks…although I'm getting lazy, so for you who didn't really write all that much, I'm just gonna lump you in with a general 'thanks' pile, k? If you find that _really _offensive…*rolls eyes*…tell me and I suppose I'll make you an individual…I guess…*wink* hehe

**aradow: Once again, the first one. *big smile* You never cease to astound me, dude. Well I'm glad that you're trusting me with the ending and assuming that it'll be good no matter what…I certainly hope you'll think it's good…from what I have thought of, I think it'll be great…but let's just hope it comes out as good on paper *wink*. Haha you expected me to be misleading…oh man, you can't imagine how much I enjoy hearing you say that *wicked smile* I love fooling people…**

**snow**** blossoms: You know how I get reasonably fine chapters in so short a time? Because if you compare the amount of time I spend thinking about the chapter, reviewing the chapter, rewriting the chapter, thinking about it some more, rereading it, rereading it again, still thinking about it, adding a part, and then rereading it… It takes up a whole chunk of time and my life. :P Too bad I obviously don't have any… Literally, I mean, when I have moments where I'm not thinking of much else…that's what's running through my mind. "I don't know if I want to put that in the chapter…well, I do want that to be in there, but said this way…" And I write all my fancy little ideas on a paper, in random intervals and arrangements so that only I would really understand it :) So far I've filled up the fronts of three sheets of white paper…**

**Fushizen**** na: Haha yessirree I love Van too *big smile***

**Messenger Of Doom**: Yes, indeed quite intriguing that there would be two boys of the same name in the story…*conspiratorial smile*

**SabineballZ**: Ah yes another wonderer of the whole dual-boy thing…hehehe. I suppose maybe eventually Hitomi and Van might be friendly to each other…you never know… SOOO MANY QUESTIONS! Hehe and the funny part is…I honestly can't even answer all of them! I read them, and I was like, "Oh, that brings up a good point…I wonder where that's gonna go?"

**honeypot: Heh Yes! I too loved Van being jealous… And the confusion surrounding Hideki will be cleared away with time and more chapters…theoretically…**

**Kim**: Haha, you are _"the One"_, *wink* hehe. You did make me laugh with that reference…maybe I'm just easily amused, you never know… Another fan of the whole 'jealousy' thing…hehe…I'm thinking that that part just may go up to about 'crabapple' status…if ya know what I mean… Haha of course we're friends! :) Though it seems almost silly…because the only correspondence we've had is reviews…but still… I've always thought that when someone reads a writer's writing, they are basically getting to know the writer. The author puts a little of themselves into each story/poem/whatever that they write…at least I feel that way… So along those lines you'd know me better than I know you *smiles* hehe… You wrote two reviews…that's so silly… I'm probably one of the biggest tomboys in the state of Maryland if you must know *wink* Playing the tuba will do that to ya…

_*Side note: Hey Hana!! **86%!!** Hahaha…*_

**Panabelle**: Hehe do you always sense foreshadowing? *wink*

**dreamingofflyingaway: YES! Got another dance! Woohoo!! (this is how I measure my success…so sad…)**

**Hana**: Don't push me, or else I won't tell you what's gonna happen! *evil glare* haha like I would be able to hold to that…

**GENERAL THANKS TO ALL WHO PROFESS TO LOVE THIS STORY (HOWEVER MISGUIDED YOU MAY BE…):**  
Night of the Raven, Sara, Kayorine, Jhoeydagger, alone in the grave, Catherine

Thanks all you guys *big smile*

Okay so without any further ado…here it be.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Though I do own auxiliary characters and places that were never mentioned in the movie or series.

Chapter 12: Eyes

            Millerna stirred the pot of stew absently, still worried about Allen. She knew what he'd been through, and wished that he would just be able to accept some comfort from her. But every time she tried, he pushed her away…leaving her broken-hearted again.

            She felt a tear prick the corner of her eye. Scrunching her nose resolutely, she told herself, _Don't__ you dare cry! You have to be strong… Stop being a weakling!   _

            The tear slipped out anyway.

            Was it all worth it? To love so intensely without ever being loved back? She was beginning to doubt it… Despite Allen's warm words to her in his moments of passion, every other time he was aloof and unreachable. She didn't know how much longer her heart could deal with such duality.

            Her ears almost pricked up in a similar fashion to the cat-girl's when she heard Allen's voice outside of the tent. He was talking to someone in a rather bright voice. _He must be in a good mood today_, she mused dryly.

            "It's good to see you again, my friend."  
            "Same to you," a deep male voice answered.

            Millerna started at the man's voice… It seemed to have a profound effect upon her senses, but she could not exactly understand why…

            "So, your men are planning some assault?"  
            "No." She could hear slight suspicion enter Allen's voice in his fudged lie. "Where would you have heard about that?"

            She imagined the mysterious man would have given him a shrug. "I have my sources," he said with slight humor in his tone.

            Obviously, Allen was not amused. "No one else knows, right?"

            "Of course not." The man sounded like he was trying to act offended. "Would I tell anyone such things?"

            "For the right price," Allen grumbled.

            The man gave a hearty laugh. "There, you are right, my friend," he admitted shamelessly. She envisioned him clapping Allen on the back. "Now, do you by any chance have food around? I haven't been able to find a good meal in a week or so."

            "What about all your 'sources?'" Allen said, still slightly miffed.

            The man chuckled again. "Allen, they tell me what's going on in Gaia…not where to find good food. Though now that you mention it, I probably should invest in that. I'll bet it would make some good money."

            "Is that all you think about?"

            "Is there anything else? I am just a humble merchant after all," the man said sardonically. "Now, if you will allow me some nourishment, I would be forever indebted to you. At least, until the next time I have information you wish to remain a secret."

            "Such as our plans?"

            "So you _do have plans."_

            Millerna could literally see Allen's intimidating glower in her mind.

"You raise a good point then." She could hear the grin in the man's voice. "Consider ourselves even now."

            Millerna ducked her head when she heard the men move towards the tent flap, feeling her cheeks heating with the embarrassment of eavesdropping. She rubbed her cheek furiously to erase any trace of her tears. Keeping her eyes on the stew, she sensed rather than saw them walk up to her.

            "Millerna, you have food prepared?"

            "Yes," she said shyly, not looking up.

            "Excellent. I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine."

            She looked up slightly through her lashes, and felt her breath catch in her throat. Before her, next to Allen, stood a tall, lanky man with long, curly brown hair that was twined upward into a ponytail. Intellectual glasses perched on his straight nose, and the corners of his lips were turned up in a slightly sarcastic grin. He was garbed in long robes that seemed to emphasize his already-imposing height. Millerna saw all these details in her peripheral vision however, putting them to the back of her mind to remember later. What attracted her immediate attention was his eyes…clear, brownish-green eyes shining with both confidence and intelligence.

            "Millerna, this is Dryden Fassa. Dryden, Millerna."

            The man's grin widened, and he took her hand and bowed over it, winking at her ever so slightly. "A vision of beauty, to be sure."

            She merely nodded dumbly, still arrested by his all-encompassing eyes.

            _Dryden…_

*          *          *

"What's on your mind?"

            Hitomi blinked, snapping out of the trace she'd been in. "What do you mean?"

            "You've been staring into absolutely nowhere for the past hour."

            "I wonder where _you've_ been staring," she grumbled irritably, her gaze flickering to his in embarrassment.

            And took a second look. No. That was ridiculous. Van couldn't be… Was he _blushing_?

            He refused to look her in the eye, and remained silent. That alone was an anomaly for him. He never missed a chance to shoot back at her.

            Dismissing his unorthodox reaction to the back of her mind, she asked, "Where are we going, anyway?"

            "Maia."

            _Maia__…_

            The name struck a familiar chord within her somehow…she'd heard it before…and in fact, it seemed incredibly familiar…

            _"Little Hitomi." An older man ruffled her brown hair with fatherly affection. "Maia is lucky to have you in it."_

            She frowned, both at the memory and the strange destination. Focusing on the more immediate confusion, she queried, "Why? Why not Zaibach? Isn't that where Dorkirk is?"

            "Perhaps. But he's not the one we're looking for."

            It was as if Van was changing every single thing she'd ever suspected about the mission. It was unbearably frustrating. "Then who are we looking for?"

            Van's expression was carved out of stone. "Stratego."

            "Who?"

            Sparing her a glance that was completely emotionless, he explained, "The second-in-command. He's located in the old castle of Maia."

            "Why him?"

            "We have a better chance of finding out what's going on through him."

            She wrinkled her nose, knowing that she probably sounded like a broken record by now. If only he would just tell her everything straight out… "Why?"

            He raised an eyebrow in her general direction. "Let's just say I have some…leverage."

            She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I won't ask anymore."

            "No 'deep or dangerous' secrets, remember?" He grinned sarcastically.

            Grimacing inwardly, she knew that odd moment had been nothing but an illusion. Van hadn't changed a bit. "I just figured it might be good if I had some knowledge of what I was getting myself into," she shot back. She couldn't possibly hope to express how much she hated it when he turned her words on herself.

            His harsh expression lessened. "I know. You're right."

            Startled by his admission, Hitomi stared at him, feeling as if he'd just pulled a rug from beneath her. Who in Gaia was this stranger who was before her? Obviously the strangeness she'd glimpsed before _wasn't a hiccup in her perception, as she had thought. Her hand moved down over her abdomen, resting on the scar that had inexplicably started hurting again. But her eyes were caught in his chilly mahogany gaze, diverting her attention, and she was helpless to look away. She felt her breath catch inside her suddenly constricted throat, and bit her lip. Those eyes…if they would only warm up…they would be…_

            The two were frozen in time until an arrow shot out and sliced past Van's arm.

            "Ahh!" He doubled over in pain, grabbing at his arm in an effort to staunch the sudden outpouring of blood.

            Recovering quickly, and berating herself soundly for having not paid attention, Hitomi drew her bow and fired an arrow in the general direction from whence the offensive projectile originated.

            "Who is it?" Van asked, teeth gritted as he mentally tried to suppress the pain. Obviously he was beating himself up as much as she was.

            "I can't see," Hitomi muttered grimly, shooting another arrow blindly into the foliage with mechanical determination. "Should we run for it?"

            Looking towards the distance, Van grimaced in anticipation. "Yeah. Go!"

            Without stopping to question him, Hitomi jabbed her horse in the side, spurring it into a full-blown gallop across the sloping fields. At any other time she would've felt exhilaration coursing through her veins from the feeling of literally flying across the field. But the fear of getting skewered in the back from an unknown assailant was enough to keep her careless feelings at bay. The wind pushed roughly against her face, having enough force to bring tears to the corners of her eyes. Ducking her head a little lower to avoid the onslaught, she continued galloping, barely noticing that the pain in her stomach was receding rapidly.

            "We're fine!" she heard Van shout. "Stop! We're far enough!"

            Reining the horse into a slow trot, she turned to face Van.

            He was sitting on the horse, face stiff with hidden pain, and blood flowing freely from his arm.

            Concern gripped Hitomi's heart in an instant. "Van, get off that horse!" she ordered, sliding off of her own mount, disregarding the strange fear for him that trembled within her gut.

            "Don't worry about me," he said unconvincingly, still glancing around warily despite his profession of safety.

            "Like hell I won't! Get down off of that horse before you let your stubborn self bleed to death!"

            With mute obedience, he slid off and stood before Hitomi, knees slightly weak from pain. The pain must've been pretty bad if he would concede so easily to her demands without any verbal defense.

            She practically shoved him to the ground. "Do you have another shirt?"

            "Yeah," he began, bringing his hand up to point at his bag.

            "Good." She pulled the shirt he was wearing up over his head, revealing a thoroughly shocked expression.

            "What are you-"

            "Helping you," she said matter-of-factly. She crouched down next to him. "Let me see your arm." She winced sympathetically at the fresh slice that was still oozing sticky, red blood. Pouring some water on a piece of his shirt, she started to clean the wound. After another brief examination, she warned, "It needs to be disinfected. This may hurt a little."

            "What will-" His voice exploded into a violent hiss as she poured some of Ruhm's strong liquor on the wound. Clenching his teeth, he turned his face away as if to hide the intensity of the sting.

            Gently, she finished dressing the wound as best she could with their meager supplies and tied the clean sleeve of the shirt around his bicep securely, praying that the wound would clot soon.

            "There. All done." On impulse, she bent down and kissed the bandage, rising with an impish smile. "Now it will get better for sure."

            His cheeks were definitely rosy this time. "You treat me like that little boy," he said gruffly, refusing to look back at her.

            With a faint chuckle, she brushed the disarrayed hair from his forehead and kissed it lightly. "You _are_ like a little boy sometimes," she quipped with a crooked smile.

            Raising his eyes to hers again, a ghost of his familiar smirk curved his lips. "So, you _are taking to me," he mused._

            She had not realized how close she was to him. And he certainly wasn't wearing his shirt… Feeling her heart skip in her chest, she backed away from him, dreadfully positive that the infernal redness was staining her cheeks. He was most definitely _not a little boy. "As much as you can take to an arrogant jerk."_

            "Ah, yes. I forgot about that." Adjusting himself to a more comfortable position on the ground, Van said, "So, since I really don't feel like going anywhere at this very moment for pretty obvious reasons, how 'bout you tell me what's been going on in that pretty little head of yours."

            _Pretty? "Only if you'll answer one of my questions. And no restrictions this time, either."_

            He shrugged easily. "Fine."

            She twisted her fingers together hesitantly, vainly wishing that he had objected to her suggestion. She hadn't actually intended for him to agree… But it was too late to back out now. "Well…something's been bothering me…"

            "Fairly obvious."

            She gave him a quelling look. "Give me some slack, okay? It's not like I'm used to doing this." Taking a replenishing breath, she started again. "I've been thinking a lot about Hideki…"

            "The little boy from yesterday?"

            "Yes…and no." Turning abruptly, she stared hard into Van's eyes. "Van, do you really think history repeats itself?"

            He was taken aback by her question, a befuddled expression brushing past his face. "Well…I don't know. I guess it could."

            "But with such astounding detail and accuracy? Do you think it's possible? Or is there something actually controlling destiny?"

            "Why do you want to know?"

            "Because I don't know what to think! I seem to remember Hideki…but not this one. At least, I don't think so. It was like…something from another life."

            Van sat up straighter. "You're remembering things?"

            "Only that much. Only that once upon a time, I must've known a little boy…" She held her head in her hands. She sensed that somehow he could see the turmoil behind her eyes. "I don't know what to think." Her gaze lowered, focusing on a pebble by her feet.

            He was silent for a minute, which did nothing to stem the rising flood of foreign emotions associated with her memories. Love…hate…joy…sorrow… They were all there, like a kaleidoscope of feelings, but she couldn't understand what was related to whom, and why. Her mind was screaming in confusion, and she wondered uselessly if Van could hear it. He must be able to.

            "Was there something you wanted to ask me?"

            Her eyes flicked up, surprised that he remembered, and even more surprised that he reminded her of it. Just as quickly, she returned her gaze to the ground and asked quietly, "How did your family die?"

            She could feel the tension practically radiating off of his body. Biting her lip uncertainly, she quickly said, "Never mind. You don't have to-"

            "A fire."

            Hitomi finally allowed her eyes to remain fixed on him, finding his expression distant and unreadable once more.

            "My parents died in a fire," he said softly and stiffly, as if speaking the words loudly would reopen old wounds.

            "I'm sorry," she managed, placing her hand sympathetically on his good arm. "For what it's worth, I know how you feel…I think."

            He looked down at her hand thoughtfully, his lashes shielding his eyes from her. "Thanks." A wry smile graced his features. "Looks like you can't be called the 'Ice Princess' anymore."

            She snatched her hand away from him like he was a flame to her touch, attempting a half-hearted glare. "You have a way of ruining every moment of peace for me," she muttered acidly.

            He shrugged. "What can I say? It's a gift."

            "More like a curse. How you have managed to win any girl's heart is completely beyond me."

            His face altered in a very strange way that prompted a bemused smile to curve her mouth. "You _have_ won a girl's heart before?"

            His eyes still shadowed, he reluctantly ground out a "Not really."

            She had to refrain from crowing with laughter over this latest development and settled instead for a childish snicker. "Oh, my. That's absolutely hilarious. I never would have thought Van the Great would-"

            "Shut up," he growled, once again behaving very much like his wolf-friend, only Ruhm would definitely not have been blushing. "My life hasn't been all that easy, you know. Situations were always such that…" His eyes flickered to hers in annoyance and said, "Stop laughing."

            She grinned unashamedly. "But it's so _funny_!"

            "I never learned how to deal with you women either, because there was no one to teach me. I don't even know why I'm trying to explain this to _you." He raked his hair with his hand, bringing his haphazard bangs over his eyes again. "Besides," he admitted under his breath, "it's not like there was anyone ever worth learning for anyway."_

            "Ah. I see."

            Hitomi was positive that his look would've been pure venom if his hair hadn't been in the way. "I'm sure you've had dozens of men trailing after you like little lost puppy dogs," he asserted, heavy doses of sarcasm dripping from his tone.

            Her eyes grew thoughtful rather than resentful. "I'm not really sure," she stated. "You know I can't remember much. But I don't feel like I've ever really known what to do about _those things_. In fact, I don't think I'd ever really been kissed, before…"

            She could see him wince ever so slightly. "Yeah. About that. I apologize."

            Hitomi raised a speculative eyebrow. "You sure take your time."

            "You're lucky you got anything at all, Princess."

            "I suppose I am," she agreed without malice. Idly, she wondered if the warrior would ever learn to say her name. _Probably not._

            Another awkward moment passed, and then Van shifted. "We should probably get going," he said flatly. Forgetting about his injury for a moment, he pushed himself up with his bad arm and couldn't stop the pained exhalation of air that followed his rash act.

            She stood as well, looking at him, the concern returning to her features. "I'm sorry about your arm."

            He frowned. "Why are you sorry?"

            "I feel like it's all my fault," she murmured, getting astride her horse. "If I had just been paying attention, it wouldn't have happened."

            He shook his head firmly. "It was no one's fault. Just something that happened."

            She nodded, at a loss for words. After a few minutes, she spoke up again. "I'll bet you wish you would've been able to do this alone."

            He shook his head again, and sent her a wry smile over his shoulder. "No. Because then the only company I'd have is myself, and you of all people know how detestable _that is."_

*          *          *

            "I can't see it," an old man murmured thoughtfully into a looking glass. "What is happening? Why can't I see it?"

*          *          *

            His forehead still burned from the kiss that she had given him. Treating him like a little boy. Bossing him around like she was his mother. Telling him how he should take care of his wound, like this had never happened to him before.

            Van couldn't explain why he was enjoying it all.

            He twirled a twig idly in his fingertips.

            Having her actually care for him was…well…different. He supposed he liked it better than her slapping him, of course…less pain and marks that he'd have to unsuccessfully explain. He didn't have to work so hard to come up with witty retorts that would mask whatever he really felt, either.

            She'd already fallen asleep, having confessed to him that the other night she hadn't slept one wink after he'd come in. For a moment he'd entertained the thought that it had been his fault she had stayed awake, but then dismissed the idea as impossible. It was that blasted dream that kept bugging her. She would never lose a night's sleep over _him._

            Tossing the twig off into the darkness, he lay back down against his pack. _And neither will I, he told himself resolutely._

*          *          *

            "Folken."

            "Yes, milord." The tall man's head was bowed in respect, his red eyes closed for the same reason.

            "The Dragon…he is moving in unpredicted ways."

            "I know, milord." The man's eyes opened in thin slits. "We had no way of predicting this change in character."

            "The girl must be swayed! She is starting to remember her past…if she remembers much more, she will become the ultimate weapon against us. Our destruction will be at hand."

            "I know, milord. They are coming this way."

            "Are you sure, Folken?"

            "Yes." He straightened his tall figure. "The problem will be fixed."  
            "I trust that it will, Folken."

            The old man's face faded from the wall, and Folken gazed contemplatively into the sky. "Van, why must you be so stubborn?"

*          *          *

            The girl was haunting him in his dreams. He thought he'd buried the feelings deep enough so that they'd never resurface. But apparently it had all been in vain.

            He covered his face with his hands dejectedly. It was too much. He couldn't take much more.

            She would never know…

*          *          *

            Hitomi stared up at the Mystic Moon and its sister. She had slept for a while…but something had awakened her. Nothing bad or frightening, she had just…woken up. And now couldn't get back to sleep.

            "This is so frustrating!" Her voice echoed across the silent plains.

            The figure beside her stirred, and she covered her mouth with her hand. She'd forgotten about Van's presence beside her. _Oops_.

            He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "What's the matter," but came out "wasmatta."

            "Nothing. Just go back to sleep."

            He half-turned, peering over his shoulder at her. "What is the _matter_ with you?" he demanded, coherently irritable.

            "Nothing."

            Exaggeratedly rolling his eyes, he turned back over with a grunt. "Whatever."

            She frowned at his back, wishing he would just stay asleep for once. She got up to walk a few feet away from him, in case her voice decided to operate without her will again. Still staring up at the sky, she felt her foot slip on mud and landed hard on her bottom. _Oh, great. Just what I need to top off an already wonderful night._ She felt the sticky mud on her hands, and resisted the urge to wipe them off on her pants. Stubbornly, she remained on the ground in the mud puddle. _I'm not getting up now. Nuh-uh. I'm just going to stay here and…sulk. It's good to sulk once and a while, right? Seems to work for Van. After his little sulking-period, everything's just hunky-dory for him, isn't it?_ she thought with faint bitterness.

            "You need some help?"

            She looked up to find a rumpled-looking Van offering his hand to her.

            She blinked.

            _A little girl was running through the marketplace, tears leaving traces on her cheeks. She sobbed, "Why, Daddy? Why won't you listen?"_

_            She wasn't looking where she was going, and she bumped into a tall, rough-looking man. "Hey, brat, look where you're going!" he yelled as he gathered up his dropped merchandise._

_            "Sorry," she gulped, running deeper into the crowd. Why didn't everything work out alright? She knew it could. Why couldn't she make it work?_

_            Slipping as she turned a corner, she fell face-first into a puddle, muddying her palms and the skirt of her brand new dress. She closed her eyes tight in dejection, plopping down in the puddle, crying her little heart out. Nothing was good. Nothing at all. She couldn't do anything right. Her long sandy-brown hair hung in her eyes, blocking her view of everything around her. Not that she wanted to see anything anyway. She sniffled, wiping her nose with her muddy hand, knowing she was making a mess of herself but ceasing to care._

_            "Do you need help?"_

_            She looked up through her tears at a little boy about her age, with raven black hair and vaguely familiar mahogany eyes, extending a hand to her. He smiled kindly._

_            "But…I…I'm all dirty…" she said in a small voice._

_            "It's fine," he said easily. Grasping at his hand, she let him pull her up._

_            He patted her cheek like she was his little sister. "Don't cry, little Princess. You're so much prettier when you don't." An adorable blush colored his childish cheeks, but he didn't look away._

_            The little girl gave him a trembling smile of gratitude, staring into his warm, cheerful eyes…_

            She blinked.

            "What's wrong with you?"

            The endearing little boy was gone, and in his place was a stubborn, rather annoyed man.

            And those eyes were about as far from cheerful as eyes could get.

            "Oh, uh…I'm fine." She pushed herself up without his help.

            He retracted his hand. "Fine. You do it all yourself. Since you don't need me, I'm just going back to sleep. You should probably think of doing that once in a while, instead of getting yourself into all of these predicaments." He trudged back over to his pack and practically fell to the ground, blatantly ignoring her. Within a few moments, she heard faint snoring, but she wasn't certain whether it was real or just for her benefit.

            She followed him, kneeling beside her pack with far less aplomb. The vision – or was it a memory? – haunted her. As she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep, her mind could think of only one thing.

            His eyes.

            She remembered his eyes…

_For insight into next chapter read very bottom of author's note…_

*Hehe I seem to have a thing for dramatic endings…must be my melodramatic personality.

So…how was it? I'm sure I don't even need to ask that because you all will be telling me…but…well…bah. Forget it. Enough rambling.

Since you all are reading my stuff anyway…and actually have enough time to spare to read these silly author tag-alongs…read my one-shot "Behind Blue Eyes" just to humor me…please? *doe eyes* I mean…it just might give you a new perspective on someone…of course, you might just get annoyed. But meh. I heard the song, and I was like, "Oh…man…that's an awesome idea…" And despite the fact that I didn't want to be cliché and write a songfic, I couldn't stop myself…

In case any of you were idly wondering where I get the names for these different interesting things I've added to the story…I suppose I can tell you without all of you stealing all my ideas, right? Well, I read the name of 'Hideki' in another manga somewhere, and I liked it… But that's about the extent of my Japanese, which is why there isn't much in the story. I left 'Van-sama' like it is because it sounds better to me that way. I was tempted to add 'hai' at times…(that's 'yes' or 'right'….right?) But since my Japanese is sorely limited, I decided not to even give it a chance. Which means when you all say those kinds of things in your reviews…I have no clue what you are talking about *vacant smile* But I just smile and nod. I get the gist. I may be Polish, but I'm not totally stupid. Which continues the sources of my names… 'Bohdan' I read in a Polish novel… 'Janna' I made up hehe… and 'Maia' is the name of a star. I can't remember which or where. It's not one of the commonly known ones. But yeah. (I'm not the first to try this either… those of you who have ever read or heard of "Dune", did you know Arrakis is an actual star in the sky? Yeah. I was pretty shocked when I saw it too. I'm pretty sure it's not the only instance either…) Uh…I think that's it. If I missed one, tell me, and I'll add in an explanation on the next chapter (which I've actually got ideas for in advance this time…though with all the proofreading I do, chances are it will not come much quicker :P).

I guess that's it for now. Hope you all continue to enjoy my story…

Til the next chapter!

-wink*

*oh and PS! For those of you who are attentive enough to notice this…and even for those of you who are not…do you notice anything peculiar about the part in Chapter 9 where Hitomi has that collage of memories? Look back and read it…and then think… *hint hint think of what's been written in italics afterwards* ….hmmmmm….. *wink* hehe*


	13. Luck

Alright, so I don't know how well I've proofread this one…it's really long, as I'm sure many of you noticed from the scroll bar thing…about 17 pages in Word I think :) Therefore rereading it about 15 times takes waaay too much time…and I've been reading it a lot anyway…so…yeah…I think it's okay. You see, I knew where I wanted to end it…it's just there was a lot in the middle… But I don't suppose many of you mind, eh? :)

Okay now to review replies…(I'm in the triple digits now…pure excitement!)

**Fushizen**** na: Woo! First to review! You beat aradow *wink* hehe… Thanks for saying all that…it makes me feel better about my whole goofy plot line hehe**

**Messenger of Doom**: Yes I like that part too.

**LittleHobbit13**: Stop pestering me I'm posting!! *wink*

**honeypot: She was found by Allen a few weeks previous to when the story starts, I believe I said at some point…or I implied…or…well, in my mind I think that's about when it all happened. Some of her flashbacks were when she was really young, and some when she was not as young and…well…if it's not clear I guess that gives you the chance to make up however old you think she was *smiles* I do feel special for such a long review…hehe**

**aradow: You rock!! 'Power to the Polacks' Haha! *****high five* *miss* *sigh*…I miss my friend Dave…we had so many great Polish times…then he had to go and graduate…:P Hehe but thanks for continuing to assert the apparent sufficiency of this story… And I have to say… I absolutely _loved that joke…awesomeness. *big smile*_**

**Sara**: See? Here you are! Hehe… I already answered your question separately though I might as well have not have…because a couple other people apparently are silly and missed it too hehe… Alright in response to your email… You think you're dying of anticipation now? *evil cackle* Just wait…

**snow blossoms**: I'm glad you think the fluff was 'cool' hehe…I try not to make it too outrageously sappy…though I don't know about this chapter…I may have gone too far…meh. Van doesn't necessarily remember Hitomi…because they were really little… I mean, if you were five, and you met someone for just a little while, would you remember them in 14 years? Not all the time… Perhaps little flashbacks here and there, but not really… And I like the way you describe their bickering… like 'drunk wrestlers' haha that made me laugh…

**Tevrah**: Once again, just like for snow blossoms, he helped her in the mud when he was like five…therefore he wouldn't really remember meeting someone once when he was five…

**dreamingofflyingaway: Yay! The *Dance*!! Woooooo! *big smile* yes I did indeed enjoy your reaction to the kiss on the forehead…I had a reaction very similar to that when I first thought of the idea…*silly smile***

**starryeyedwonderland: Woo for cynics! I figure it's always better to be surprised rather than disappointed…y'know? Hehe… Raising some SAT scores, eh? I hope it's helping you guys out some :) It's the least I could do when I have the thesaurus at my fingertips…hehehe…**

**LiLNeKo**: Write enough reviews? Hehe… Oh, and I'm not a guy… hehe.

**Akiko**: I'm honored that you read my fanfics *big smile* I loved yours so much… Thanks for reviewing despite the unfinished-ness of my fic…however, I'm writing most all the time I have free time, so this fic won't be being written over a period of months, more like over a period of weeks…or something…hehe. You get it, I'm sure.

**Ava**** Sky: 'Jaboogogy'? Most intriguing, I daresay… haha A Dryden/Millerna pairing, eh? Whatever makes you think that? *wink wink***

**alone**** in the grave: I'm keeping up…doing my best…**

**Hana**: Read through chapter nine…at the beginning where it shows Hitomi after she runs away…she's seeing all these little snippets of memories… "a wolf-man…a little boy…" etc etc…and then think of all the italicized flashbacks she's had…

**Night of the Raven**: Soon all will begin to make sense…maybe not this chapter totally, but soon…

**Kriyn**** Dake: Look at my response to Hana…and maybe it'll make more sense…eh…maybe it's not that important…whatever. :) Heh it's funny that this story has 'wit', as you said…because I really only have one good witty moment per every 2 months. Haha, yeah. That's me. But I suppose when you're writing the dialogue instead of just responding, you give yourself more to work with….meh. Whatever. It's too late to try and analyze this.**

*phew* You _all must've not wanted to be lumped in a 'general' category! Sheesh…such long reviews…hehe I'm not complaining don't worry. Just by the virtue that not all of you are just writing "good keep going" makes me believe that this really __is kinda worthwhile…_

'N case ya didn't notice…isn't it ironic that the title for Chapter 13 is "Luck"? Haha…yeah…well…even though I was doing it to be ironic, it really _does fit…_

Disclaimer: Don't own it, though do own auxiliary characters/places/events.

Chapter 13: Luck

            The wind sifted through the tall blades of grass, rippling like a golden ocean that stretched as far as the eye could see.

            Woodland creatures made their usual noises: little mammals scurrying through the leaves and branches high up in the trees; insects chirping in an endless symphony of sound comprised of innumerable parts that kept to their own beat and time signature, yet somehow flowed together effortlessly; birds twittering a descant to the insects' serenade, fluttering from branch to branch, making the leaves shiver delicately with their descent each time. 

            A cloud lazily drifted across the sky, gracefully avoiding the rising summer sun.

            It was strange that she'd never really noticed any of it before.

            Millerna ran her hands idly across the target, feeling all the dips and holes where arrows had struck home. She wondered how it would feel to be able to really protect herself, rather than relying on others to do it for her.

            The blonde beauty let out a small sigh.

            At least she understood why Hitomi had always run off here, in part. It was so peaceful. Her mind seemed like it lost the buzz that seemed to constantly shroud her common sense. It was indeed a very curious revelation.

            Remembering Hitomi, Millerna couldn't help but feel slightly envious of the girl. She always seemed so calm and collected…so totally capable. Millerna felt anything but. She would've given almost anything to have half of the girl's courage and strength.

            Brushing her hands down her skirt, she peered at the sunrise, the golden-orange color infusing the lone cloud with a light all its own. Her mouth curved in a slight smile at the beauty of the sight. If only she could feel this peace within her always…

            "Millerna!"

            _Just my luck_. She turned her head marginally to behold the golden-haired knight practically storming over to her, Dryden following with far less vehemence.

            "Yes?" she asked calmly.

            "What are you doing here? I've been looking everywhere for you!"

            She frowned, eyes flickering to Dryden. He merely responded with one of his characteristic wry grins and a simple shrug, as if to confirm her suspicions. _He's overreacting again._

            "I just wanted to think," she said stiffly. "Surely it's not a crime. Most of your men aren't even up yet. I assumed that I would still have time to make-"

            "That's not the point!" Allen interrupted, a commanding tone in his voice. She felt her resolve wilt slightly. "You can think just as well at camp. I don't want you wandering off alone. You could get hurt, or worse."

            She looked away from his blazing blue eyes. "No…" she began uncertainly.

            "Don't you remember Hitomi? What happened to her?"

            She bit her lip. "That's not fair, Allen. I'm not Hitomi!"

            "The girl has a point," Dryden interjected easily. "She's most likely not in any immediate danger. Zaibach's got more serious problems than her."

            Millerna felt her conviction bolster up again with Dryden's support.

            Allen sent his companion one of his infamous frigid stares.

            Dryden merely grinned at his friend, eyes twinkling with good humor. "Let the girl stay."

            This earned a grateful smile from her. At least _someone_ was on her side!

            "Why do you need to give your opinions in matters that are none of your concern, Dryden?" Allen muttered out of the corner of his mouth to him.

            "I don't." He shrugged. "But she isn't a bird that needs to be caged away, Allen."

            The knight continued to glower at the merchant, having absolutely no effect on the cool and collected Dryden.

            "You have to begin preparing breakfast anyway," he said shortly, before whirling away. Apparently, the conversation was ended. Dryden sent her a casual wink over his shoulder before he turned and followed Allen.

            Millerna trailed after them, smiling at Dryden's back, feeling an unusual fondness for the abrasive yet somehow sympathetic guest.

            Just after Millerna had entered the mess tent and out of earshot, Allen spoke up again. "Why did you interfere, Dryden?"

            "I was taking the girl's side merely because it made the most sense to me." Dryden's voice was well-modulated and controlled, as if he could've cared less which way the argument had gone.

            "Damn it, Dryden, I wasn't trying to trap her, I was trying to _protect her!"_

            "But she isn't helpless, as much as you like to believe," Dryden stated knowledgably. "She has so much potential, but you never even give her the chance."

            "Dryden, you don't understand. You don't know what it is like to lose someone close to you… I won't let it happen again."

            "Tying her down won't gain you her admiration."

            "But it _will guarantee her safety, won't it?"_

            The corners of the merchant's mouth tipped in a sardonic grin. "What good is her safety without her admiration?"

            If looks could kill, Dryden would've been in heaven at that moment.

            Allen turned away from the fruitless conversation with heavy steps. Dryden pitied the poor crew member who would have to bear the brunt of their boss's bad temper.

            He slipped into the mess tent to find the beautiful girl frying something on a pan over a fire. Despite the hair that endearingly curled away from her ponytail and the sheen that covered her face from the smoke and heat, she was absolutely gorgeous. Dryden acknowledged this fact like he would acknowledge that a painting was beautiful. Dispassionately, frankly. His smile widened slightly.

            "You cook wonderfully, you know."

            She looked up, her violet eyes betraying her surprise at someone being present. Just as quickly, she ducked her face back down, but not before he had seen a rather becoming blush color her cheeks.

            "Thank you," she said modestly.

            He strolled over to her, admiring the pots and pans around her aimlessly. "You've been doing this long?"

            "I suppose. I haven't really kept count of how long."

            There was an awkward moment of silence… Well, it was most likely awkward for her. Dryden was just enjoying the portrait of the girl before him.

            "Thank you."

            Dryden raised his eyebrows. "For what?"

            "For taking my side." He could see how the blush darkened ever so slightly. "That was very kind of you."

            "Not really."

            Her gaze looked up at him adorably from under her lashes. "What do you mean?"

            "I just wanted to stir up Allen, really. It's become quite a habit for me."

            She frowned disapprovingly. "Isn't he your friend?"

            "In a manner of speaking." He removed his glasses and peered down at her. "Is he _your_ friend?"

            Her whole face bloomed red this time. "Ye-es," she said quietly.

            He gave her a sympathetic look. "How long have you loved him?"

            "Since…I don't know. Since I've known him, I suppose. I've always loved him, ever since I was little. And I always will." She was obviously surprised after she spoke that she would share such deep secrets with such a new acquaintance, yet Dryden mentally shrugged, knowing he had that effect on people, which made him so good at his chosen profession.

            "Ah, now I understand. It makes sense, I suppose." He smiled gently at her. "You've never given your heart a chance to know any other kind of love."

            Her eyes flashed. "What are you trying to-"

            "Don't get your guard up, little songbird. Your voice is too melodious to waste on tantrums and arguments."

            "I…I thought you said that I shouldn't be caged up," she stammered as she looked in his eyes, trying to sound suspicious and insulted at the same time.

            His grin bared his teeth. "Indeed I said that. And I meant it. You see…" lowering his voice, he lifted her chin up with his hand, consciously bringing them rather close together. He could feel her tremble slightly at his touch; whether it was from revulsion, uncertainty, or attraction, he couldn't tell. "…the most beautiful songbirds are the ones that are free of all trappings and restrictions…and still come back."

*          *          *

            Hitomi ruffled her wet hair, feeling a small sense of relief that the dried mud was finally all gone.

            She sat at the edge of a river not too far past the boundary of the forest, dressed in a black shift Millerna had given her that reached all the way to her knees. With a self-deprecating smirk, she reflected on the first night she had spoken with Van. She wasn't so naïve as to bring no preparations for bathing while traveling alone with a man. She wasn't about to have another one of those awkward moments. _Definitely not._

            Sighing, she looked up at the recently-blue sky. She'd awakened before Van, and decided that being muddy was certainly not the most comfortable of situations.

            Her clothes hung from a branch beside her, drying in the warm morning sun.       

            Just before she actually dipped in the water to wash the rest of herself, she traced the scar on her stomach with her fingers, wondering why it had started hurting the day before. It didn't make sense…it was as if…as if the scar itself was sensing something…

            A brief flash of insight hit her. The first time it had been hurting that strongly…

            _She was practicing archery, right before…_

            And then…

            _She had just run away from the dance, and Van was trying to coerce information out of her, when…_

            An old warrior superstition flashed through her mind…_ 'Old wounds ache when the one who inflicted them is near.'_

            She felt her mouth drop open.

_            Dilandau!_

            He must've been the one…the fire…it was him…but wait…what fire? What had happened, exactly? Blinking her eyes frantically, she realized she'd forgotten to breathe for too long. Gulping in air, she tried to think rationally.

            _Alright, she told herself sternly,__ get a grip. Forget about history and memories for a moment. You have an advantage. You can tell when Dilandau is nearby. But he obviously doesn't have a clue. Use this unexpected luck to your advantage! _

            "Hitomi?"

            Startled out of her thoughts, she raised her head to find Van standing a few feet away from her. He was wearing a shirt now…a sleeveless, royal red shirt that gapped open at the chest, barely laced with a cream-colored string. The shirt seemed to bring out the redness in his rich mahogany irises. "Yeah?"

            His eyes flickered to her clothes spread out on the branch, and his cheeks flushed. _My, my, I don't believe I've ever seen the warrior blush so much in so little time. I wonder what's come over him. Averting his eyes from her, he said, "I was, ah…just wondering what happened to you."_

            "Obviously nothing."

            His Adam's apple bobbed slightly. "I can see that."

            She cocked her head curiously at him. "Van, you _can_ look at me. I'm fully clothed. I'm not even wet."

            He slanted an emotionless look over at her. "Well, forgive me for attempting politeness when a lady is trying to take a bath. I'll just leave now before you get the urge to slap me again."

            "When will your stubborn head ever learn that the only reason I slap you is when you actually do or say something completely stupid. You're bordering on that right now, in fact."

            "I presumed I was. Which is why I was about to make my hasty retreat." He presented his broad back to her, taking a step away. "Oh, we'll reach Maia tonight," he threw over his shoulder.

            She gritted her teeth, wondering what had happened to the nice, almost likeable Van from the day before. A quick mental debate flurried in her head, whether she should tell him her revelation or not. Wrinkling her nose, she decided that aloofness wasn't an appropriate reason for refusing to tell him. Though she almost wished it was. "Hey, Van?"

            He halted. "What?"

            "I know when Dilandau's nearby."

            He turned fully, apparently having forgotten about the 'situation' they were in for the moment. His face hid any surprise he might have been feeling. "How?"

            "I-" Looking away from him, she let the words out in a rush. "Just trust me, okay?" She didn't know why exactly she was loath to tell him about her scar…it was foolishness, pure and simple. But still…she didn't want him to know about it. She didn't want his sympathy. She didn't want his pity.

            She didn't want him at all.

            He was looking at her strangely, but didn't press her for information. "Okay. Is he nearby now?"

            "No." Her eyes flickered back up to his. "You believe me?" she asked incredulously.

            "What reason do I have not to?" With a shrug to emphasize his point, he turned and walked away.

            She followed his exit with her eyes, feeling the corners of her mouth turn down in thought. What was it about Van, that he was always throwing her off-balance?

*          *          *

            Folken gazed out of the window at the rolling hills before him, gleaming from the sun's pure light. Briefly, he closed his eyes, reflecting on the tense night that had ensued only hours ago.

            "_Pressure levels dropping!"_

_            A tall, gaunt man in a long black robe approached Folken with subdued haste. "Milord, we are losing our hold on the girl."_

_            "What?" Folken's flashing red eyes were the only indication of his displeasure. "How?"_

_            "We don't know, milord. The dragon is… We don't know."_

_            "Well, I would suggest that you _find out_."_

_            "Yes, milord," the man bowed, more cowed by Folken's icy calm demeanor than any expression of rage he could have displayed._

_            Folken looked down upon the sorcerors, conferring together in an effort to assuage the crisis. So, the girl was finally eluding their grip. It came as less of a surprise than it should have. These men, like so many before them, underestimated the power of the human heart._

_            The night passed achingly slow, as the progress continued to drop lower and lower. Folken closed his eyes in mute disapproval. Enough of these trivial, useless attempts. It was time to do something himself._

_            With his brow creased in concentration, he sent out a thought into the void… _

            Van…don't forget Fanelia…and the loves you lost there.

            _Remaining still as a statue, he reached out with his mind as he had been trained to do until he could feel the Dragon's familiar presence. Touching the faint aura, he reinforced the thought until he could feel the exterior of the Dragon's heart hardening. Folken noticed with no little surprise that the Dragon had been heavily affected by the girl. With a grim smile twisting his lips, he fixed that anomaly._

_            Exhaling heavily, withdrawing his mind back into himself, he noticed that hours had passed in what seemed like a few minutes to him. Crossing back over to the window in slow, measured strides, he gazed out at the lightening sky. In a few more hours, it would be clear what the outcome was._

"Milord!"

            Folken turned, finding the sorcerer radically changed from the night before. "We have her," he asserted with confidence. "The Dragon has withdrawn once again. But we cannot be certain that he won't do it again."  
            "I'm certain," Folken assured him. "The Dragon does not yet have the courage to cross the line."

            "How can you be so sure?" the sorcerer asked.

            "It is not your place to question, only to accept."

            "Yes, milord." The gangly man bowed humbly and once more left Folken to his meditations.

            Resting his metallic arm on the sill, he thought of the Dragon's face. He was positive of the Dragon's reactions.

            For he knew the Dragon's heart like his own.

*          *          *

            Van stared straight ahead, refusing to look in Hitomi's direction. As he reflected over the events of the past few days, he was astounded at what he had allowed himself to do. He had done the impossible.

            He had actually started to willingly _care _for the girl beside him.

            How had he not noticed earlier? Thank goodness the stray thought had hit him when it did…just when he was about to help Hitomi out of the mud. All of a sudden, _'don't forget Fanelia…'_ entered his mind with an abrupt jolt that felt as if his heart had hit a brick wall going at the speed of sound.

            He'd lost everything already. Why had he been pursuing what would inevitably turn out to be a greater heartache?

            What had he been thinking?

*          *          *

            Millerna blew the hair out of her face as she scrubbed a plate. The stain was not coming off. Putting her face close to the plate to determine what was wrong with it, she doubled her efforts, feeling the strain in her muscles.

            "If you scrub that any harder, you'll be scrubbing the other side of it."

            She looked up. "Dryden!"

            He was leaning gently against one of the posts supporting the tent, with his arms crossed and an easy smile on his face.

            "H-how long have you been there?"

            "A few minutes, no more."

            "A few _minutes?_" She felt her cheeks warm viciously. He'd been standing there watching her for a _few minutes?_

            "You're quite attractive when you blush, little songbird. I can see why Allen would want to protect you so."

            She could feel the heat creeping rebelliously down her neck. Lowering her face defiantly, she resumed washing the dishes, giving up on the stubborn spot. She was about to place a plate on a rack for drying when it was plucked out of her fingers. "Wha-"

            Dryden was drying it off with a towel as if he did things like this all the time.

            "No, you don't have to do that," she said quickly, reaching over to take back the plate.

            He held it farther out of her reach and grinned. "I know I don't."

            "Just give it to me, Dryden. Go do…whatever it is you do." She tried to get the plate, only to have it taken farther away.

            "It just so happens that I do many things." With an infuriating grin on his face, he placed the plate on a pile of already dried dishes, and grabbed another wet one.

            "Dryden!" Frowning heavily at him, she managed to grab the edge of the plate before he could move it. He held on to his end, and a brief tug-of-war ensued. "Stop being so childish!" she muttered.

            "You're the one who refuses to have someone help."

            "Dryden, if Allen finds you…"  
            "You think that really matters all that much? He's not going to just toss me out of his camp."

            She eyed him suspiciously, finally wresting the plate from his grip, dismayed to find that her small victory didn't deter him in the least. "What makes you so sure?"

            His eyes twinkled devilishly. "I have leverage with him."

            "What are you talking about?"

            He raised an eyebrow. "You really have no clue what I do, do you?"

            "You're a merchant."

            "So it seems."

            Her brow creased. "Well, what else would you be? Certainly not a knight. You're far too ignoble for that."

            He guffawed. "Well, thanks for the compliments, little one."

            Turning slightly away from him, she huffed, "Anytime."

            "I _am a merchant, in a manner of speaking," he admitted logically._

            "And what manner is that, pray tell?"

            "I sell information." He wore a broad grin. "I know just about everything there is to know in Gaia."

            "I'm sure you do," she mumbled sarcastically. Would the irascible man just leave her alone?

            "Since you obviously don't believe me, I'll give you an example. This Hitomi that you had at your camp…she was attacked by Dilandau at least twice, by my reckoning. At your own camp, too. In the archery field."

            Millerna swiveled her face around to meet his, eyes wide. "Twice? I only heard of once."

            "Most people did." Dryden sent her a cocky smile. "This is our little secret."

            "But…how do you know?"

            He winked. "Ah, my dear, I can't tell you the tools of the trade. Then I wouldn't be worth much to anyone, now would I?"

            "You aren't already."

            "That is indeed true. So you understand why I must try and keep my worth as high as I possibly can."

            "You're impossible," she said heatedly.

            "I am, I really am."

            She narrowed her violet eyes at him. "Do you take any insult at all seriously?"

            "Babe, when you're in my line of work, you learn to disregard most insults."

            "Don't call me 'babe,'" she groused.

            "Whatever you wish, milady." He gave her a mock bow as he set another dried plate on the stack.

            Silently fuming to herself, she started washing the utensils with utmost care, trying her hardest to ignore the tall man beside her.

            It was a useless exercise. Giving up on her unproductive silence, she said, "Why do you like instigating Allen so much anyway?"

            He looked slightly startled at her sudden words, but the expression was soon hidden under his usual self-satisfied demeanor. "I suppose it's because I know him."

            "So do I. It's not like he's had all that easy of a life…you should lay off of irritating him."

            His smile quirked one edge of his lips. "My dear, if you knew half of what I knew about him, you'd know he did a lot of it to himself. Not intentional, mind you, but he's not the pure-blooded saint you like to think he is."

            "Oh yeah? How's that? Prove it to me." Setting down the dishes, she crossed her arms in front of her chest obstinately, waiting for a reply.

            Dryden lifted an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to know? There are things that he would probably never want you to know…for good reason. I don't know that I can break his confidence."

            She snorted delicately. "I'm sure that's your foremost concern."

            "You'd be surprised." He looked at her, serious for once. "You promise not to despise me if what I tell you isn't quite what you expected?"

            "Why would I despise you?"

            "I have a feeling that after you know, you'll wish you didn't."

            "Go on."

            "Fine. You remember your sister Marlene, right?"

            "Of course I remember my sister, you dolt!"

            "Just making sure," he said evenly. "Well, you know that after her marriage to that duke-fellow, the one who owned the several plantations along the Freid border, she had a son. Blue-eyed and blond-haired. The duke came from a long line of swarthy-skinned, dark-haired, dark-eyed people."

            A vertical crease formed between her delicate eyebrows. "So?"

            "Think about it, Millerna. You know medicine, you know science," he stated with confidence. "Which traits are dominant genetically?"

            She frowned deeper. "The dark ones, but…then how…"

            Dryden's eyes were emotionless, but she suddenly saw something in her mind's eye that she had never seen before.

            _Marlene walking through the city streets, sending a rather warm smile to a young blonde knight…_

_            Marlene disappearing at odd times during the day, returning with the explanation that she had been 'meditating'…_

_            Marlene's gaze being distracted from her partner in a dance, looking over to the doorway where two knights were guarding the festivities…_

_            Marlene disappearing the night before her wedding, only to return the next morning as if nothing had happened…_

_            Marlene…_

            "Marlene…and Allen?"

            Dryden nodded. "The duke knew about it after the child was born, of course. Marlene admitted it to him. But by then they had honestly fallen in love, and the duke forgave her."

            Her mouth felt dry as dust. "Allen…loved my sister?"

            He didn't feel the need to repeat himself.

            "But…" She felt her eyes moisten. "I thought he…"

            "Allen's just confused. He always has been. Ever since he lost his mother and sister, he hasn't known exactly what to do with himself. He thought that becoming a knight would give him purpose, but he's always looking for what he doesn't have much knowledge of."

            "And what's that?" she asked quietly.

            "Love."

            She turned her face away from Dryden, holding her forehead in her hands. "I need to think," she said suddenly.

            She sensed him nod in her peripheral vision. "Go to the archery field. It's where you feel most at ease."

            Her eyes looked upon him in surprise once more, both at his suggestion and his implied knowledge of her heart. "But Allen-"

            "Just go." His eyes were…_compassionate_. "I'll hold him off, don't worry. And I'll finish the cleaning."

            Her mouth worked, but no coherent words came out. "I – Thank you."

            His expressive mouth tipped in a casual lopsided grin. "Anything for you, little songbird."

*          *          *

            They stayed within the border of the forest as the sun set.

            Hitomi stared at the giant castle in awe. It was a grand vision of times past, of a country that had once been powerful and was now reduced to a satellite of another country. The blackened walls of the castle made it look more foreboding than it would've been had it been clean.

            Van had told her about Zaibach's annexation of Maia after its downfall, and Hitomi was saddened to find that the lush plains Van had spoken of were gone. Instead was a bland representation of what once was, and never would be again.

            The land was still beautiful, but looked tired, as if it had not been kept up well. As if the caretakers had left everything to grow however they chose, allowing for weeds to choke off the beautiful plants that had been strategically lined in the garden for their aesthetic purposes.

            "We wait until nightfall, and then we go in," Van said quietly. "Tonight looks like it will be cloudy, and the air feels like there will be fog. We'll have much cover."

            "Well, that's always good," Hitomi murmured. "How do we get to whatever room this 'Stratego' is in?"

            Van's lip twisted upward in a humorless smile. "Good question. I haven't quite figured that out yet."

            "Oh, we're _so prepared."_

            "Shut up," he muttered tersely. "Let me think."

            Hitomi shrugged and allowed him the silence he asked for. Looking up at one of the towers, she saw a dark figure standing at a window incredibly high up. Subconsciously, she shrank further into the foliage, hoping he wouldn't notice anything out-of-the-ordinary.

            Her mind ran along the same track as Van's. _How _will _we get in there? I hadn't really given much thought to it…there are bound to be guards everywhere…_

            She closed her eyes, hoping that shutting off one of her senses would allow her to concentrate more on the problem at hand.

            She jerked as something flashed through her mind.

            _A passageway…_

            Squeezing her eyes shut tighter, she tried to focus her mind on the snippet of familiarity that was in her mind.

            _A gap between the walls…in a closet…the entrance to the passageway… The constructors of the castle had missed it, and as a result there were small gaps between walls where a person could travel unnoticed through the entire castle…_

            "Are you okay?"

            Her eyes flashed open as the vision before her eyes vanished, looking up into Van's shuttered eyes that almost appeared auburn in the orange glow of the setting sun. His voice was impassive, as if all emotion had been drained out of him somehow the night before. It was just as well.

            "I saw… Van, I know how to get through."

            "What?" He frowned heavily. "How?"

            "There's a passageway…a gap in the walls… I think I could probably fit without a problem, I don't know about you though…"

            "Wait. How do you know?"

            She bit her lip. "A lucky guess?" She hazarded a smile.

            He must've lost his sense of humor over the night as well. "Be serious."

            She sighed. "I am. I don't know how I know…I just… I can see it."

            He looked at her curiously, but didn't ask any further questions about her foreknowledge of the castle. "So where do we get in?"

            "A room…" Her brow wrinkled in concentration. "A room on the bottom floor…"

            _She was sitting on a comfortable, plush bed covered in a royal blue blanket. Laying back against it with a gusty sigh, she buried her face into the purplish-sapphire pillows. Silver candlesticks beside the bed gave off a soft golden glow that made the hair that was pooling beside her face appear coppery. Brushing her hair away from her face, she stared out into the distance through her window, heavy thoughts pressing upon her mind…_

            Where was the room? With a sudden flash of inspiration, she removed her pendant from her neck and held it in front of her. _Show me the room…please_.

            "What are you doing?"

            Hitomi ignored his question, and concentrated on the swinging pendant, picturing the room in her mind. Almost…almost…

            It stopped.

            "There."

            She pointed confidently towards the third window from the edge of the castle, dark and obviously uninhabited.

            "What is that?"

            "My pendant. My grandmother gave it to me. She said that if I believe in the power of my wishes…they would come true."

            Van snorted. "That's bull."

            She slanted a look towards him. "No one knows that better than me, buddy."

            He refused to let his eyes connect with hers. "Alright," he continued, putting aside her comment, "So we'll enter through that room then. You know where the passageway is?"

            "Yes."

            "Good. Then we wait 'til dusk."

*          *          *

            "Folken!"

            The tall man turned calmly to meet his fiery minion. "Dilandau. So you return."

            The silver-haired young man dropped to one knee in rushed respect. "I wasn't able to deter them, Folken-sama. I almost managed to eliminate the Dragon…but I missed." His face contorted in disgust. "I missed that son of a-"

            "Dilandau."

            His face straightened. "My apologies, Folken-sama. They are on their way here."

            "I know." Folken turned to gaze out the window once more.

            "You know?" Dilandau frowned. "Then why-"

            "The plans I originally had devised did not turn out quite as expected. Therefore, we are making revisions."

            "So I risked my butt out there for nothing?" The younger man's voice raised in frustration, in conjunction with his standing up. "I followed those two damn kids for _days_ for _nothing?!_"

            "It wasn't for nothing, Dilandau. You did what was required of you. It just so happens that your job wasn't as useful as we had planned it to be."

            "What am I, a goddamn _tool_?!"

            "Dilandau. Calm yourself. You only look more foolish when you lose your temper."

            Dilandau's flashing eyes and clenched fists were the remaining evidence of his anger. "Then what do we do, _milord?" he asked, emphasizing the last word._

            "Wait with me tonight. I suspect that they will be arriving this night, and that the Dragon will be seeking me out."

            "Oh, you're the brilliant one," Dilandau mocked. "Who else would he seek out? The kitchen cook?"

            Folken's reddish eyes cooled dramatically. "You are treading on thin ice, Dilandau. Watch yourself."

            Once again, the tall man's glacial calm was the dominating factor that unnerved his underling. Dilandau's head bowed in respect once more. "Yes, Folken-sama."

*          *          *

            They were creeping along the deserted garden, alert for any indication that they had been spotted. The area felt so devoid of life. Hitomi shivered at the creepy feeling that assaulted her constantly. It all seemed so familiar, and yet alien at the same time.

            The fog permeated the air with water droplets that clung to her skin, making her feel grimy and sticky. She breathed in the thick air, feeling the moisture in her mouth. Her eyes could barely see clearly a few feet in front of her, but she continued to remind herself that this would provide the best cover.

A faint scent of red roses remained, as if the hardy plants had managed to survive the hell that had befallen them. Hearing water splashing in the distance, Hitomi halted.

            _She sat on a bench with an older woman, who was lithe and beautiful, like a water spirit._

_            "Hitomi, darling," she said in a melodious voice, "You must learn to behave like a lady at times."_

_            "But it's so _boring_," Hitomi whined._

_            A gentle smile curved the woman's lips. "At times it can be, Hitomi, but it is something you must learn."_

_            Sitting next to the woman, Hitomi noticed that she smelled like the beautiful roses that bloom every spring and remain until the last leaves of autumn. Running her hands under a small waterfall in the middle of the garden, Hitomi smiled._

_            "I suppose I must," she sighed. "But I don't have to give up everything else, do I?"_

_            "Hitomi, you will learn that much of life is comprised of learning how to give up things we love. You mustn't hold on to them; let go and move on."_

            "Are you okay?"

            She blinked. Van always seemed to be jolting her out of these vision-memories. "Yeah."

            "Good. Because we're at the window."

            She glanced up to find that it was indeed true. Flicking a glance to Van, she whispered, "So, what? You boost me up?"

            "Yeah." He cupped his hands for her to put her foot in. She did so with a little bit of trepidation, and felt her stomach drop as he quickly hoisted her up to the windowsill. _Dang, he's strong…_

            She grabbed the windowsill, pulling herself up and over, dropping into the room in a crouch. There was no movement. The room smelled like musty ashes. It must have been left alone ever since the castle was deserted. Peering back over the ledge, she hissed, "All clear!" Van nodded, and, being taller than her, was able to pull himself up into the room without assistance.

            "Now where?"

            She assessed the room, and then pointed towards a door in the far corner. Walking over to it in soft strides, she opened the dusty wooden door, praying that it wouldn't creak too much. Luckily, it didn't. She squinted up into the darkness, trying to remember where the opening was. She stepped forward, feeling around with her hands. It was near the back…slightly to the left…

            She smiled. There it was. Making a low sound to Van, she waited until he was close enough to touch, and then started to climb in. It was a tight squeeze, especially around her shoulders and hips. She didn't seem to recall it being this small. Looking back towards Van, or where he should've been, she muttered, "I don't know if you'll fit."

            With a faint grunt, she heard him move out. "No, I can't." The frustration was evident in his tone.

            "Can you…would you be able to get to him another way?"

            She sensed Van's frown in his voice. "Yes. You should still go that way, though. Perhaps if I don't make it, you will."

            "And I'll go on alone?"

            "You'll have to."

            She nodded, hoping he would understand her hidden response. "How far do I need to go?"

            "The tallest tower. At the top level. That should be where Strategos is."

            "How do you know?"

            "Trust me."

            "Okay," she said agreeably. "Be careful."

            "You too."

            And with that, she was left alone in the dank corridor between walls, feeling her way along and hoping with all her might that their thus-far good luck would continue to follow them the rest of the night.

*          *          *

            Van hugged the walls as he strode quietly though the hallways, keeping to the shadows along the corners. His heart pounded in his ears like thunder, but he schooled his breathing to remain calm and silent. His ears were super-focused for sound, twitching at every random pin drop.

            The castle was incredibly dirty on the inside. It was apparent that even if Zaibach's men were using the castle, they were only using certain parts of it. And this was not one of them.

            Once again, he thanked God that Hitomi had found the way in.

            Shoving her roughly from his mind to avoid distraction, he turned a corner in the labyrinth of the castle. He frowned, wishing he remembered it better. He had been only five when he had last visited, and the only thing he remembered about the trip was the number of times he had gotten lost in the winding halls. He had ended up in the high tower once, a memory he was gambling on to lead him to Strategos. _Turn left…past a few doorways…then stairs…_

            His heart calmed in relief; all was as he remembered. Climbing the stairs noiselessly, he kept his senses tuned for danger, vowing that he would fix the wrongs he had suffered once and for all.

*          *          *

            Folken opened his eyes. "Dilandau."

            The young man looked up in anticipation. "Yeah?"

            A merciless smile gently curved the conventionally-sober man's mouth. "Go to the room two doors down the hall."

            Dilandau frowned. "Why?"

            "Trust me."

            "I'm not going to end up doing something useless again, right?" he demanded.

            "Trust me." Folken's smile extended into his eyes. "You won't be idle tonight."

*          *          *

            Hitomi finally made it up the steep slope between the walls, her shoulders and hips scuffed and bruised. Some parts of the passageway had been too narrow even for her slender frame. She ached all over, but breathed a sigh of relief that she'd neared the end. Her throat felt like it was full of chalk.

            It was nerve-wracking to have to slip silently into a fortress, relying on her nebulous memory to guide her to her destination. But she felt like it worked. There was a calm feeling in her heart, a confidence that she had indeed chosen the right route. Everything looked about right.

            So why was her burn starting to hurt again?

            It must've been from the walls chafing against her stomach. She had had to turn sideways at times to squeeze through.

            She felt along the corridor, finding an opening with cool air coming through in a light draft. She climbed through it, finding herself in another closet that somehow didn't smell as musty or old. In fact, it felt as if someone had actually cleaned it out.

            Mild trepidation trembled in her gut. _Of course someone cleaned it out, if Strategos is up here! No need to worry…just make sure no one is sleeping._

            She pressed an ear to the door, to listen for sounds.

            Nothing.

            She inched the door open ever so slightly, feeling the scar flare up in an intense pain that pushed her backwards. Wait…that meant…

            The door swung open abruptly, rendering her breathing useless and the place in her chest where her heart beat vacant. She stared, frightened, into crazed, red eyes.

            "Gotcha."

*          *          *

            Van had finally made it to the top of the high tower without incident. Consequently, his suspicion was almost suffocating as he prowled down the hall. It was impossible that he could've eluded the guards that were posted that easily and gotten so far. It was a trap. It had to be.

            But he pressed on, knowing that he was far too tangled in the web to back out now.

            Concentrating on the doors around him, he closed his eyes, and for some reason saw Hitomi's pendant in his mind. _What is this? He remembered what she had done…and figuring it wouldn't hurt, he concentrated on its swinging motion, trying to mimic what he had seen. Abruptly, it swung to the side, remaining in an oddly angular position. Opening his eyes, he looked to the doorway it had pointed at. He strode towards it purposefully, putting an ear to the wood before he forced it open with his shoulder, abandoning all subtlety._

            A tall, broad-shouldered man stood at the window. "Welcome, Van."

            Van glared at him, unsheathing his sword with a wide arc that brought the blade in an angle from his left shoulder to his right hip. "I kill all my enemies," he breathed with an intense hatred.

            The man merely smiled at him. "You've grown much since I last saw you."

            "Since you last wanted to kill me," he spat.

            He inclined his head. "Van, I never meant to kill you. I was trying to relieve the burden from your shoulders."

            "What are you talking about? How are you justifying what you did?!"

            "If you will just hear me out, you would understand."  
            "Never! I could never understand your twisted mind and morals!" Van stepped forward, brandishing the sword with all the skill he had within his body.

            "I wouldn't do that if I were you," the tall man chided. Looking beyond Van, he said, "Come in."

            Van turned to find a struggling Hitomi being held in a firm grip by a manically-smiling silver-haired man. "Hitomi!"

            She looked to him, her mouth gagged tightly. Her eyes showed the relief and worry she felt at seeing him here. No doubt she wished he would never have ended up in the same position as her.

            "I would suggest you not make any rash moves, Van, or else your little Princess may be suffering for a whole new reason."

            Dilandau roughly tied her hands to a low table, inner wrist up, making her kneel on the floor. She winced in pain as the rough ropes tightened ever so slightly. She was curled up in an almost fetal position while kneeling, as if something inside her stomach were exploding. With a flash of tiger-like teeth, Dilandau positioned a breathtakingly sharp blade above her upturned wrists with sickening relish. He stroked the scar along his jawline tenderly with his free hand as his eyes watched Van with an evil mirth. "Make no mistake, Van. I would delight in bringing color to this dull atmosphere."

            Folken recaptured Van's attention. "I trust you will listen to me now."

            Van swallowed with his dry throat. "Yes," he croaked, staring at his nemesis. "I'll listen."

            The man walked over to Hitomi, tracing a hand gently down her cheek as if to calm her. "No need to worry, my dear. Not if your companion cooperates. I should introduce myself. It's only polite." He smiled charmingly, the effect being lost upon the recipient. "I'm Folken, also known as Dornkirk's 'Strategos.'"

            She glared up at him without attempting to say anything around the gag.

            "I suppose you're wondering why Van and I talk to each other so familiarly. I should probably explain. Unless Van already has." He turned a look to the dark-haired man.

            "Folken, don't-" Van warned.

            Folken's eyes glittered mockingly, as if he knew everything Van had already said. "Oh, no. I would think she would want to know our history together, _dear brother_."

            Her eyes widened in shock, glancing toward Van for confirmation. Van's mouth remained in a flat line, his lack of reaction not denying the man's claim.

            "Now, as I was saying, Brother, I would like to explain to you why I did what I did."

            "I don't want an explanation from you!" he hissed angrily. "I just want you to die!"

            "You do remember who has the upper hand in the room, don't you? You may be able to cut me down with that sword before I can stop you, but just as quickly Dilandau can slice your lover's wrists."

            "She's not my-" He gritted his teeth. "Fine," he ground out harshly. "Explain away."

            Folken looked upon him almost pityingly, his hair appearing almost bluish in the night. "You've never understood Dornkirk's plan. Why he did what he did."

            "Selfish ambition."

            Folken shook his head. "It was for the good of Gaia's people. There was always war between countries, blood being shed, lives being wasted. Dornkirk hated seeing it all. He came up with a strategy, a grand plan to unite all of Gaia in a utopia of fairness and equality. Countries didn't appreciate the idea, of course, because the rulers were all so selfish as to desire all-encompassing power for themselves, not willing to subject power to the people. So Dornkirk let the common folk know the truth about the ruling dynasties, and the people responded in kind."

            "In other words, Dornkirk stirred up rebellions to destroy countries so that they could be easily taken over."

            "Van, you're still looking at this the entirely wrong way. With every person being equal, who can complain?"

            "Obviously not the one in charge."

            "Dornkirk will hold his position of power until the world is stable enough to continue without his leadership. Until then, he will continue to guide us into this glorious future."

            "A glorious future it is, when whole countries are burned down to a crisp."

            "It's called rejuvenation, Van. A country does not shut down because its rulers are eliminated. Rather, it becomes free."

            "It becomes _chaos_. Or have you not seen any of that?"

            "Once again, that is where Dornkirk enters the picture. He establishes the order so that when all is calm, he can allow the people to govern themselves."

            "It's been many years since some of the countries were annexed to Zaibach. How is it that they are still being controlled by your emperor?"

            "The turmoil still runs rampant in the countries."

            "Your emperor doesn't seem to be close to relinquishing any control at all to the people. What guarantee do we have that he won't become a dictator?"

            "He won't," Folken said confidently. "Do you understand now?"

            "No." Van's eyes hardened dangerously. "I'll _never _understand why you betrayed your country, your heritage, and your _family for some damn utopian fantasy that will never work!"_

            "I didn't betray you." Folken declared calmly. "I was doing this for your good."

            "What good did it do me to see my father and mother die in the midst of a blazing inferno, while I barely managed to escape with my life?" Van shouted angrily.

            "You had better contain yourself, Van," Folken admonished.

            Van turned his head to see Dilandau lower the knife ever so slightly, nipping at the flawless skin of Hitomi's wrist, making a faint trace of blood creep down her wrist. He watched her hands clench and unclench in impotence, her eyes the only feature that showed her pain. Fear filled his heart, but he willed it away as best he could, returning his attention to his brother.

            "I knew you didn't want to become king of Fanelia, and I also knew that I had to follow Dornkirk's plan. It was what I believed in. I was able to lift the burden off of your gentle shoulders, so that you would be able to live a life of peace and freedom like I knew you always wanted."  
            "You call my life 'peaceful' and 'free'?" Van barked a harsh laugh. "Brother, if anything you've made my life a living _hell!_"

            "It is you who made it that."

            Van trembled visibly with anger. "Folken, I can never forgive you for what you did to mother, to father, to _our people. I despise you for it. No, I __hate you. I hate you with a passion that burns like two suns within my heart, that's slowly eating me alive with every second that you draw breath."_

            Grinning in anticipation, Diladau poised his knife to slice Hitomi's wrists. "Dilandau!" Folken commanded sharply, startling his accomplice.

            In that moment Hitomi jerked, shoving her shoulder against Dilandau's chest in a rough blow that drove the wind out of him, bringing the table halfway along her movement. Van immediately brought his sword back to ready position and charged Folken.

            Dilandau swiped with his knife blindly at his offender, catching her in the side close enough to draw blood. Her cry was muffled by the gag, but she valiantly continued to try and kick him aside. Her struggles loosened the ropes, and she was able to pull them from around the table and bolt upright.

            "Hitomi!" Van shouted, sparing her a glance. "Out the window!"

            She nodded obediently, and ran across the room, Dilandau regaining his air two seconds too late. She swung over the ledge, her hands still tied, and proceeded to climb down as Van had instructed her in days that seemed like eons ago.

            The gritty rock dug into her tender fingers, her wrists aching horribly. She could still feel the blood slowly seeping down her forearm. A glance above her spurred her on to hurry down the rock face. Dilandau was leaning over the window, shouting horrible obscenities at her and waving the knife around like a madman. She looked up just in time to see him throw the knife down at her, and nimbly swung along the wall to avoid the projectile. Her foothold slipped, and she found herself hanging by her weakened hands. She couldn't breathe through the grimy gag that Dilandau had tied tightly around her mouth, for she was in no position to try and untie it now, and her nose wasn't supplying the oxygen she needed. Trying to bring her foot up, she felt a burst of hurt from her side where the knife had made its mark. She could feel her shirt soaking in the warmth of life from her body. Her senses were swimming in pain, from her side to her wrists to her aching jawbone. She felt her mind begin to go fuzzy from the combination of suffocation and physical trauma. She couldn't move; her body was immobile by the numbness that was sweeping up her form. 

            Her vision went black in sparkling stars, and the last thing she felt were her fingertips slowly sliding off of the rough stone into nothing.

*evil cackle*

*Somehow I know you all are gonna want to strangle me for that ending…hahaha! But I laugh at you!! Because **_I know what's gonna happen nya nya nyaaaa! _**The wonderful thing about being a writer…haha. Yeah so I'm sure your eyes are crossing by now…that's such a dang long chapter…but I had to do it. That's just the way the chips fell. Yeah. Hope you aren't disappointed by anything…

So I'm in this big honor band thing this weekend…and I won't have a lot of time to write Friday-Saturday-Sunday because my brain will be too fried from all the music to really function…(yeah, 7 hours of playing the euphonium will do that do you…trust me…) But I'll probably still be thinking about the story and brainstorming despite the weariness I am bound to experience, so that's something, right?

Alright so hope you don't hate me too much for such a long chapter or such a cliff-hanger (literally – HAHA – man I'm bad at puns…) ending.

Til later!

-wink*


	14. Feathers

Alright I'm sure you guys are going… "What?! I thought she said she was busy all this weekend?!"

_*OH! And before you finish reading the author's note if you do, or not, if you want to hear a musical component to the first scene…listen to **"Regret" from Escaflowne…That song is just so perfect with the first scene…literally, I don't know if the timing is exactly right, but if it was…man…that'd be great…anyway…***_

*-busy all weekend?!"* And that was indeed true. However, when I got home from the performance with the honor band Saturday (and for those of you who actually care, it went very well and was really fun) I sat at the computer and _wrote_. I don't know why…but it all spilled out and I wrote the whole dang chapter Saturday, and I spent Saturday night and some of today proofing it. I think it's about done…at least as far as I can tell…though I'll bet I'll read it after I post it and notice something minute, but that don't matter none to me :P yeah bad English there I know…

So here it is for you guys…and I'll thank the reviewers…

(I think I should write cliffhangers more often man! I got so many reviews over that one…hehehe…I'll keep it in mind in following chapters *wink wink*)

**aradow**: Congrats to reclaiming your title as "first fanatic reviewer of Wink's silly story" :) Hehe…You raise a good point for not strangling me…I do appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that *wink* I heard a version of that joke before actually, and since we're such great Polacks, I'll tell you one. :D **Q: How do you stop a Polish cavalry? ****A: Turn off the carousel. *lol* And here's one of my very favoritest ones:**

**Q**: How do you keep a Polack in suspense?

**Fushizen na**: I love Dryden a whole lot too :) oh and pardon me for being incredibly naïve and dumb and all that entails…but could someone please explain to me what 'AU' is? I am apparently writing it but have no clue what it is…

**Sara**: You're a _woodwind?! *shudders* Well…since you're so kind to me in your reviews…I suppose I'll have to forgive you for that… Yeah we played some pretty crazy music that we looked at Friday morning and performed Saturday afternoon…I've done so much playing this weekend it really isn't funny at all…_

**SabineballZ**: Trying to write my own story out for me, eh? *wink* I see how it is…

**snow blossoms**: I read The Call of the Wild. I actually wasn't intending for it to be anything like that…but I suppose it kinda is :D Aww…you bestow so many compliments on me that all I can do is *blush*.

**Messenger Of Doom**: Hehe I will put as many cliffhangers as I _darn well please_!! So there!!

**dreamingofflyingaway**: … I don't know whether I should comment on your brain talks with yourself…maybe because it all sounds waaay too familiar… *funny face*

**Starry Eyed Wonder**: *blush* Jeez… Thanks. Hehe. It's a paltry response but… I don't know what else to say… Oh and you can't stop your other fics. Peoples will get mad. I mean, imagine how you'd feel if I stopped my fic right at the moment when she fell…

**Kim**: I want to see that movie… I just can't find anyone to take me :P Where's a boyfriend when you need 'em, huh? *sticks out tongue at all guy friends* You stink. Haha. Too bad none of 'em read this, eh? :) I did write on the weekend…see? Lucky you… Oh and I am the most computer illiterate person ever in the world and also I have this everlasting animosity with technology and the internet…so… uh…if you're writing on Microsoft Word, maybe you have to save it as a 'web page' file…did you do that?

**GENERAL THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS THAT PROFESS TO LOVE MY FIC (however misguided you may be):**  
_Also known as: WINK'S LAZINESS:_

LiLNeko, Night of the Raven, Macky (oh and by the way…your suggestion…I decided to try and listen and my story came out better for it! :D So thanks…), SpitFire06 (woo for band!), Lady Luna (you can get up now), Aranel Lindtaure, Sweet Roses, Avaris Sky, honeypot, hh (dude that gives me absolutely nothing to work with on these things…), Onigiri Momoko

Alright…so as a warning…yeah I know some of you like big action hoopla scenes and some of you like the ooshy-gooshy-mushy stuff and all that…and this story kinda caters to both types in some way…but yeah. This chapter isn't the most action-packed…at least, the way you're all thinking…but bear with me :) The plot line continues to go on and the action has not ceased quite yet…

And I apologize if ever I get too melodramatic…because I'm probably treading the line between okay and too far…and you all can tell me (nicely please! *sad face* at least phrase it in a constructive manner…)

You all at least listen to the song or try to download it? You should. *wink* Hehe…

Alright so without further ado, here it be…

Disclaimer: Don't own it, do own auxiliary characters/places/events

Chapter 14: Feathers

            She felt something softly brushing against her cheek, but her eyes seemed glued shut, leaving her to helplessly wonder what it could've been.

            She assessed her sensations instead as her strength slowly but steadily returned. It was cool…quiet…a light breeze was ruffling her hair, drying the perspiration on her forehead. A faint feeling of pain was in the back of her mind, but she couldn't determine exactly where the locus of the injury was. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell it was still pretty dark outside. Her fingertips felt rather tender, and her jaw ached terribly. Her mind stepped back, retracing the last things she remembered before waking up.

            Her last memory was of falling to her doom.

            Apparently she hadn't.

            Hitomi didn't feel like she'd broken every bone in her body… She felt sore, yes, but not dead.

            Maybe she was in heaven.

            Building up the energy to assuage her curiosity and confusion, she fluttered her eyes open to behold an angel.

            _I am_ in heaven…__

            But she tasted blood in her mouth. Definitely not a heavenly feeling.

            And the angel looked strikingly familiar…

            She tried to swallow with her dry throat. "Van?" she croaked.

            His mahogany eyes were deeply shadowed from his hair. Nevertheless, she saw something brighten ever so slightly in that beautiful gaze.

            "You're awake." He sounded relieved.

            Her hand lifted slowly, as if to see if the apparition was real. "You…wings…"

            They swept out from behind him majestically, huge pure white wings that gleamed with a light all their own it seemed, wrapping around her and cradling the two of them as if they were in a lovers' embrace, hiding them from the prying eyes of the world. They waved ever so slightly with the breeze that was drifting by them, like a lover's intimate caress along the flowing lines of his wings.

            Stray feathers filled the night air, the source of the tickling that had awoken her.

            _The angel descending through the flames, with jet black hair, reaching a hand out…_

            She blinked, confused. Her throat worked, trying to get words out. "How…"

            He looked down abruptly, his wings somehow disappearing into his back along with the light in his eyes. For some reason, she felt sad that the intense beauty was gone now. His bangs swung down to fully cover his face. "You're fine now." His voice was much gruffer than it had been a few seconds ago, more like the Van she was used to.

            She tried to sit up, and immediately pain flared in her side. Obviously that was the source of her earlier discomfort. Her throat convulsed in a sharp yelp that had him looking up in surprise.

            "Your side!" He instantaneously reverted back into the uncharacteristic tone that had filled his voice when she had awakened. He must've been so relieved from her return to consciousness that he'd forgotten about her physical state.

            She felt her side with her fingertips, feeling the warm stickiness still emanating from her body.

            Van was rummaging through the packs he'd obviously recovered for something to bandage the injury. He reached to push her shirt up away from her stomach. With a sudden flash of clarity, Hitomi remembered the huge, ugly scar there.

            "No!" she protested, holding her shirt down with amazing strength. _I don't want you to see that!_

            "I'm not going to do anything indecent!" Van stated irritably. "This has to be staunched, or else you'll lose too much blood!"

            "Please, no…" she said weakly, holding on to the shirt with a stubborn resolve.

            "Come on…" he muttered, frustrated, prying her fingers off the edge of her shirt systematically and pushing it up to just under her breasts, ignoring her small whimper.

            And stopped.

            Lancing across her stomach with brutal savagery was the scar from her left side across to her right lower hip.

            Hitomi looked away from him, waves of mortification assaulting her.

            "Is this what you were trying to hide from me? Your scar?"

            His voice wasn't disgusted or full of pity…it was…it was…sad.

            She turned her eyes to look at him in surprise, feeling the heat from tears of embarrassment sting her eyes.

            "You don't need to hide anything like that. Do you think it really matters to me?" Gently, he traced the scar with his fingertips, sending a million tingly chills up and down her spine. "You're beautiful, even more so…because the scar reminds me that I could've lost you."

            Hitomi felt her mouth turn down in a frown. Van was never like this, he was…

            She felt her heartbeat accelerate marginally with the huskiness of his voice.

            Concentrating on the more immediate problem with startling haste, he cleaned the extraneous blood off of her side and began bandaging it as if he hadn't just said anything earth-shattering.

            Hitomi's mind reeled. Van had just taken her worst fears – that someone she truly cared about would see her horrible scar – and coated it with kindness and warmth. He'd totally taken her by surprise…and she felt the air catch in her throat. Did she just think she _cared _about Van? What was this? Was it just the insanity of the moment, the release of adrenaline that was causing her mind to run on such wild trails where she'd never dared to go before? The relief of living after a close brush with death? Or was it…

            The corner of his mouth tipped. "There. It needs to be cauterized, but that should do for now before I get you to someone who has the supplies to help."

            "Thank you." Her voice was small, and she berated herself for sounding like those weak girls that could never do a thing for themselves. But she couldn't really help it. Her energy seemed to be swamped by the rampage of thoughts cavorting through her brain.

            "Anything else wrong?"

            She thought back through all the fuzziness in her mind to review the night's events with more precision. "Uh…my wrists?"

            "They've already clotted. He didn't cut much there. You've got other scrapes and abrasions, but there's not much I can do there either."

            She swallowed, feeling a metallic taste in her mouth. Probing with her tongue, she discovered a cut on her lip where she must have accidentally bit down from the stress, though how she managed that with the gag on was a mystery. "My lip," she said with a grimace. "I must've bitten it."

            A lopsided smile filled his face. "I can't very well bandage _that." He winked rakishly at her. "Looks like I'll have to just kiss it better."_

            She felt her cheeks flush hotly. "That might hurt a little," she said dubiously, cringing at the memory of his last 'kiss.'

            He simply looked at her with a – was that tender? – look in his eye, and bent his head slowly towards her. She felt her breath clog in her throat, and her heart pound in double-time, as if increased blood flow would benefit her somehow in this situation. Her whole body tensed in unpleasant anticipation, bracing herself for what she remembered before.

            His lips brushed hers with a kiss that was as sweet as honey and as potent as wine. Barely touching, she felt her eyes sweep closed as feathered wings beat against her heart with an unbearable tenderness that threw her mind into a fog thicker than the night air around them. She was helpless to respond, for all reason had left her the moment his lips touched her own. Her mental processes halted instantaneously, concentrating every sense and sanity on this one eternal moment in time. Her bottom lip trembled as he repeated the action with the same amount of gentility, bringing her even closer to total incoherence.

            He pulled away from her, causing her eyes to open and be immediately ensnared with his, an event that effectively stopped her racing heart.

            If she thought she had trouble talking before, she was completely mute now.

            He simply brushed the hair back from her forehead with the same sweetness that he'd caressed her lips, inspiring the shivers to return to her spine.

            "I've never heard you so quiet, Princess…" he murmured with a voice that was ragged from his emotions.

            She blinked rapidly, the nickname returning some of the sanity she'd apparently lost. "Why did you…"

            His eyes shuttered strangely, and she felt something within her sadden at that. "You should rest. I'll get you to a healer, don't worry about that. In Maia we should be able to find someone sympathetic."

            She felt a wave of exhaustion descending upon her from all of her emotional and physical output. "But…I…" Her eyelids felt heavy, but she wanted insanely to ask him why he had just…

            "Please, little Princess. Do as I ask. After all you've been through, you can't die on me now."

            Hitomi would've tried to protest if he hadn't said it in an honestly concerned tone. Mumbling to herself, she said, "Will you ever call me by my actual name?"

            "I did a little while ago."

            "That doesn't count. You have to say it consciously."

            Stroking her cheek gently, he simply smiled. With a trembling smile of her own, she felt her eyes close in mute acquiescence to his request, and a muggy darkness descend upon her consciousness with remarkable speed.

            Van watched her slowly fade away, and felt something strange twist within his chest. His mouth straightened ever so slightly, the smile nevertheless remaining within his dark eyes. "Good night…

            Hitomi."

*          *          *

            Millerna rested her chin on her hands, wondering why her mind was refusing to work properly.

            It seemed all she could think about was the kind actions of an irascibly charming stranger.

            "Millerna!"

            The cat-girl bounded into the tent, startling her out of her reverie. "Merle!"

            She grinned toothily up at the blonde girl. "What's up?"

            "I'm just…uh…"

            "Thinking about Dryden?" Merle winked cheekily.

            "No!" Millerna objected, trying to will away the blush that was threatening her cheeks.

            Merle licked the back of her paw knowingly. "You're a bad liar, Millerna. I can see it in your eyes."

            "Are you spying on me?"

            "Of course." She grinned. "After all, Hitomi's gone." Her smile dimmed slightly, presumably because thinking of Hitomi reminded her of her absent other half, Van.

            "So you need any help?" she chirped, brightening up again in her characteristic manner.

            "Not really. Most everything is done."

            "So you want to talk?"

            "About what?"

            "Don't act like you don't know," Merle mewled. "I'm the only other female around for miles. Who else are you going to talk to about _these things?"_

            The blonde frowned. "You're nosy."

            "Yeah, well, you look like you need someone to talk to."

            "No, I don't," she denied.

            Merle shrugged, her pink hair dancing. "I already told you you're a bad liar."

            Millerna held her head in her hands. "Did Hitomi have to put up with all this?" she moaned.

            "Come on, Millerna, spit it all out."

            Her violet eyes rested on Merle, contemplating whether to talk. With a sudden sigh, she released, "I'm so confused!"

            "I know."

            She wrinkled her nose at the cat-girl. "Well, if you already know all about me, then why don't you just leave and pester someone else?" she shot back.

            "Because you need to talk! Or I need to talk to you."

            "What do _you have to say?" she muttered sarcastically._

            "You need to choose between them," she stated bluntly. "Which is it? Allen or Dryden?"

            Millerna looked down in embarrassment. She absently twined a curly flaxen strand around her index finger, not knowing why she felt compelled to answer. "Allen's…the one I…love. I'm only…grateful to Dryden…" _Grateful? Is that really all?_

            Merle set her hands upon her hips. "You better pick one or the other, or else you're going to end up in a heap of trouble. They can't both share you, you know."

            "I know that!"

            "Then choose!"

            "Who would you suggest I choose then?" Millerna spouted.

            "Whomever your heart loves."

            "Oh, _that's lucid." She shook her head. "It's not that easy, Merle. I can't tell the difference between simple affection and…" Her voice trailed off haltingly._

            Merle crossed her arms. "You can't have everyone making your decisions for you! Give yourself a shot at thinking for yourself!"

            The anger behind Millerna's eyes was merely a veneer. "I do!" she said, the edge in her voice crumpling.

            The smaller girl chuckled. "'Millerna, go to the tent!'" She mimicked Allen's tone with amazing accuracy, then raised her voice coquettishly. "'Of course, Allen, whatever you say.'"

            "I never say it like that," Millerna protested caustically.

            Merle fingered something around her neck. "Just as well, you still can't be controlled by someone, no matter how much you may profess to love them. You're your own person."

            Violet eyes watched the cat-girls movements, thinking about all she said instead of responding with heated emotion. "What's that?" she asked curiously, taking note of the object around her neck and hoping it would distract Merle from any more comments that would make Millerna feel worse.

            "It's a nail file." Merle smiled. "Dryden gave it to me."

            "He did? Why?"

            Merle shrugged. "He told me what he knew about Van. As far as he knows, they were doing fine a few days ago, en route to wherever Dornkirk's man is."

            "But why did he give it to you?"

            "I don't know." She shrugged again. "But now I'm going to go and let you think. Okay?"

            "That's all you had to say?"

            "Just about. Dryden's a good man, Millerna."

            Millerna watched the cat-girl leave thoughtfully. "Yeah…"

*          *          *

            Hitomi felt consciousness return to her once again, along with a vivid awareness of the stinging pain in her side.

            She opened her eyes to find herself in a little room, the sunlight pouring cheerfully though the open window. Van was slumped beside her, asleep. His hair hung in adorable disarray around his face, his expression reminding her of a little boy's. She smiled and reached out a hand to touch his face.

            His eyes flashed open, relief filling them as he saw her awake. "Good morning, Princess."

            She felt a small sigh escape. "You'll never stop that, will you?"

            "Do you want me to?"

            She pursed her lips, thinking. Did she?

            "Whatever," she finally decided on saying.

            He smiled briefly at her response, then returned to practical matters. "The healer cauterized your wound. She said that it would heal now, just so long as you don't strain yourself or irritate it."

            "You can bet I won't," Hitomi groaned. "I feel like I fell ten stories."

            Van just gave her a funny look.

            She blinked, and chuckled. "I did, didn't I?" she said wryly.

            "Maybe not that far."

            "Close enough." She pushed herself up slightly, feeling the spark of pain but shunting it aside. "So, you swooped down like the true hero you are and saved the damsel in distress, am I right?"

            His cheeks colored slightly. "I did what anyone would've done," he mumbled self-consciously.

            "Anyone who had wings, of course."

            He looked away.

            Hitomi felt her own cheeks warm slightly at her intrusive thought, but decided to say it anyway. "Your wings are very beautiful."

            "They're my curse."

            "What a horrible curse to have."

            He slanted a serious look at her. "You know what they symbolize, don't you? The ancient power of the Draconians… A renegade gene that manifests itself every million people. The odds are so slim that anyone would be cursed with it…and yet _I am."_

            "Well, I don't see it as much of a curse, for obvious reasons."

            "It is meant to remind people of all we lost the last time our people tried to create a unified world of ultimate power." He sighed wearily. "It didn't work at all. Man's innate selfishness is the factor that makes the utopia my brother dreams of impossible."

            "Do you still love him?"

            He clenched his fist, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. "No."

            "But the way you speak of him…"

            His eyes were piercingly cold. "How do I speak of him?"

            "Never mind," she said swiftly, recognizing when she was treading on thin ice. "Back to your wings, then." His expression implied that he didn't like that subject either, but Hitomi figured it was the lesser of two evils. "Do you use them often?"

            "No. Only…when I absolutely have to."

            "Like saving girls from falling from towers," she said with a smile. It faded quickly. "And saving…"

            _An angel descending from the sky, appearing out of the flames like an angel of fire as he reached for her hand…_

            "You!" she sputtered, eyes wide.

            He looked almost guiltily up at her. "What?"

            "You're the…the one… You saved me from the fire!"

            He turned his eyes away from her again.

            She frowned, hurt by his imposed distance. "Why didn't you ever tell me? You didn't remember me?"

            "No," he said, his voice rough. "I was trying to distance myself from you."

            "Why?"

            He returned his gaze to her, his mahogany eyes unreadable. "Because."

            "Why?"

            "I had to." He stood, sighing heavily. "You didn't need to know it was me."

            "What are you talking about? Knowing it was you could've made my memories come back so much quicker!"

            He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Are they back now?"

            "Well…only bits and pieces, but…"

            "See? You didn't need to know. Now you'll just be treating me strange…"

            "If I could get up from this bed, I would give you a good slap for that foolhardy remark! What kind of an idiot are you, to think that you saving my life would inspire any reaction other than gratitude from me? How stupid can you possibly be?"

            His eyes flashed. "Obviously I was wrong."

            "Obviously. And don't get all high-and-mighty on me either, _king. Oh, and by the way, thanks for telling me about everything. It made Folken's revelation so much easier to absorb."_

            "It's not like I _lied_."

            "Bull! You did too!"

            "When did I lie?"

            "You said your family was all dead!"

            "I believe I said 'dead to me,'" he remarked logically. "I never said they were actually all dead."

            "You deliberately deceived me, after I've told you everything I knew about myself!"

            "Everything?"

            She flushed. "Don't change the subject!" she said hastily. "You…you even got your cronies to lie to me about you!"

            "They didn't lie. They just didn't say who I was."

            Her eyes narrowed. "You're a jerk."

            He laughed humorlessly. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you bowing and scraping before me for saving your life," he declared.

            She coughed suddenly, harshly, and said in a weak, strained voice, "Van, come here…I can't really talk, my throat hurts…but I need to tell you something…"

            His expression altered slightly, almost softening, and he leaned in closer to her. "What?"

            She slapped him hard on the cheek. "And you wonder why I don't make exceptions for you!" Her voice returned to its normal timbre, albeit angrier than usual.

            He grinned infuriatingly despite the redness staining his cheek. "It sure seemed like you were making an exception a few hours ago."

            She punched him harshly on his arm where the bandage still remained over his cut, causing him to hiss viciously and draw back out of her range. "Van, you are the most ill-tempered, annoying bastard of a man I have ever had the misfortune of meeting! You say one thing and do another, and for the life of me I cannot figure out which of you is the real Van, and quite honestly, I don't care anymore! I wish you would settle on either being a jerk or a semi-jerk, because I really don't want to waste any more time trying to figure you out anymore."

            "Either way I'm a jerk, right?" He said, still grimacing from her last attack.

            She closed her eyes, at the limit of her patience. "I wish you'd never saved me," she murmured regretfully.

            "Why is that?"

            Her lashes fluttered upward to reveal hot green fire. "Because if it weren't for the fact that you've managed to save my life numerous times, I would be pummeling that handsome face of yours to pulp and making sure you never instigated anyone ever again!"

            "Handsome face, eh?"

            The fire cooled to something infinitely more dangerous. "Van, I swear, if you say anything else…"

            "You'd better rest," he said suddenly, backing away toward the door, the grin still plastered on his face. "Sweet dreams, _Princess_."

            He exited, and with her face twisted in anger, she threw a pillow at the closed door with enough strength to make the impact produce a loud _'whumpf'._

*          *          *

            "Millerna?"

            Allen's voice was gentle, tentative. She turned to give him a sunny smile. "Yes?"

            "Have you been avoiding me?"

            She hesitated slightly. "No."

            His blue eyes looked haunted. He clearly didn't believe her response. "I've been thinking a lot about what happened the other day. I'm sorry about treating you…the way I have. I mean, I did it because I love you, and-"

            "Are you sure?"

            He blinked. "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

            Millerna's smile faded slightly. "People used to say that I looked almost exactly like my sister, Marlene."

            His face closed off all emotion. "So?"

            Her lashes swept down, hiding her eyes. "I know about her, Allen. Are you sure it's not her that you still love?"

            He gripped her arms suddenly. "Who told you about that?"

            She looked up, slightly worried. "Dryden."

            He released her harshly, eyes hardening. "Why, that-"

            "I asked him, Allen. Don't blame him."  
            "You're defending him?" he asked suspiciously.

            "It's just…it's not his fault. Allen, I've been thinking a lot about you, too."

            "And?"

            She flushed. "You know I've loved you since I was a child, but…I wonder if all it's ever been was an adolescent fantasy. I'm not a child anymore."

            "I know you're not. Millerna-"

            "Allen, please just let me speak. I need to tell you…the truth."

            His expression was guarded. "About what?"

            She drew in a deep, preparatory breath, feeling her heart beat a million times a minute, like the feathered wings of a hummingbird. "Allen, I…" She shook her head and restarted. "It was all beautiful foolishness. I thought everything about you was a miracle. But I've come to find out that you are human, that the perfect man I thought I loved is not the true man underneath. Not that you're evil or anything," she explained hastily, "but…I just was in love with my dream of you, not the real you. And since dreams aren't real…well… Allen, I think there will always be a place in my heart for you…but it's a different one now. It's not the same."

            His eyes were honestly pained. "Millerna-"

            "You can't change my mind, Allen," she said, tears in her voice. "I hate to hurt you, I hate even more to push you away, but I don't want to mislead you anymore. I've finally found my own mind…my own self…and now I know the truth… Allen, I don't love you."

            Those words were like a crushing blow, knocking aside all his defenses. His face broke her heart. "Is it Dryden?"

            "It's no one," she choked. "Can't you see, Allen? Childish fantasies have no place in an adult's life. And I've finally grown up."

            He nodded silently, stiffly. Then he whirled and walked away as if she were the epitome of evil.

            Millerna watched him go, feeling regret well up in her heart. She cared for him so much…and she hated to see him hurt…but it wasn't love. And she knew she couldn't lie to him.

            She fell to the ground on her knees, feeling a tear fall and wishing she didn't have to be so weak.

            Dryden watched her in the distance, slumping to the ground with pain on her face. She'd obviously just turned Allen away…but was she regretting it so quickly?

            He wanted to go to her and hold her until the tears went away…but he resisted. What was this inside of him? He'd never cared one way or another over a female's tears, yet once glimpse of Millerna hurting sent all his dormant protective instincts into gear. It was nothing at all like the cool, collected businessman he'd always prided himself on being.

            "What are you doing?" a voice hissed beside him.

            He turned without visible surprise to the owner of the cat-like purr. "I could ask you the same question."

            "Can't you see she's hurting? Go comfort her!"

            "Merle, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but you've misjudged a lot of things."

            She snorted. "Like what?"

            "I don't care for Millerna that way."

            "You don't?"

            "I wouldn't be much of a heartless merchant if I did, now would I?"

            She gazed at him unnervingly with those crystal blue eyes. "You're not a heartless merchant. You like everyone to think that, but I know it's not true. I see it in your eyes."

            He flinched slightly. "You see everything in people's eyes?"

            "It's instinct. I'm smarter than you think."

            His mouth tipped in a crooked smile. "So it seems."

            She crossed her arms obstinately. "Go talk with her at least. Distract her from worrying. She does it too often."

            He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I don't suppose you'll be letting me off the hook anytime soon?"

            "No."

            "You'll keep pestering me until I listen?"

            "Yeah."

            He sighed. "Anything is better than the nagging of a persistent female," he quipped dryly as he started forward. "I hope you know I'll remember this, Merle," he tossed over his shoulder with a half-smile of warning.

            Watching him as he approached Millerna, Merle felt herself grin kittenishly. "I hope you will," she murmured to herself. Dryden squatted down and sad something to her, something that had her face shooting up and a moment later a faint smile appeared on her lips. Merle found contentment in pushing the two together. She didn't want them to have to live with the pain of heartbreak.

            She sighed longingly, looking up towards the blue sky.

            She of all people knew the pain of unrequited love.

*          *          *

            Hitomi was finally able to walk around. She had grown sick of being bed-ridden for days.

            She stretched unused muscles, grimacing in discomfort. She still didn't have a whole lot of mobility, but enough to get around, and that was frankly enough for her. She was ready to head back to camp.

            Van had been avoiding her like the plague ever since they had the argument, checking up on her occasionally to make sure she wasn't dying. He normally dropped by when she was asleep, or so the healer told her. Hitomi faintly suspected that the woman was making it all up in an effort to make her feel better.

            Not that she cared whether _Van _cared about her.

            She pushed him roughly to the back of her mind. The rain pitter-pattered against the roof, soothing her with its familiar pattern. Hitomi gazed out the window at the field behind the house, watching the grasses bend under the weight of the water. Looking farther towards the horizon, she saw a lone figure standing in the middle of the downpour. Her eyes widened.

            Van was standing, face tilted upward to the sky, rain bouncing off of his handsome angular features and flattening his hair against his forehead. His face was thoughtful…almost as if he were in pain, but yet…not.

            She watched him stand in the rain, feeling all her animosity ebb away in much the same way as the dirt and grime were erased by the rain.

            Why did he always antagonize her?

            She'd never really thought about it in much length. But it was a good question.

            After all, she'd seen him be kind and thoughtful. Not for long, to be sure, but it had been there. She'd seen regret in his eyes, she'd seen tenderness. It was as if the boy had two personalities, and he couldn't decide which to be.

            She leaned against the windowpane and thought back to the argument days ago, trying to see if she would be able to decipher what made Van behave the way he did.

            After a few minutes of deep soul-searching, her eyes flashed open.

            He was hiding!

            It was so obvious, she wanted to hit herself on the head a dozen times.

            Every time she got anywhere near to talking about emotions of any sort, he closed up on her. Anytime she tried to pry into his past, he deflected it with sarcasm. He made her angry so that she would forget what she had been trying to ask.

            He wasn't intentionally being rude. At least not to instigate her in and of itself.

            He was hiding.

            Hitomi looked at him in a new light, seeing instead of the arrogant swordsman a lost little boy that was stripped of everything he loved, shoved into a world of brutality and mercilessness. Of _course_ he would close himself up and hide from the world. It was every child's first response. It had been her response.

            She rested her hand on the windowpane, watching him stand in the rain. Her heart reached out to him.

            Van felt the cool water cascading down his face, like the tears that he refused to shed.

            He felt estranged from everything in the world. Seeing Folken again had ripped open the deep wounds that had been entrenched in his childhood. He squeezed his eyes shut.

            _"Brother!" a little raven-haired boy laughed. "Brother, come play!"_

_            A deeper voice returned the merriment. "Van, you'll have to catch me first!"_

_            The little boy continued to laugh, chasing the elder around a monument, the older boy slowing enough for the child to catch him._

_            "I got you, Folken!" The child grinned. "Now you have to play with me!"_

_            "Oh really?" The pale-haired boy tickled the little one, releasing fountains of giggles._

_            "Brother, stop!" he said between gasps of laughter, raising his arms up in a mute demand to be picked up._

_            The elder hefted the child onto his shoulders with ease. "One day, Van, you will be this tall."_

_            "Really?" the child asked, reddish-brown eyes wide open._

_            "Yes. You'll be the strongest man in all of Fanelia."_

_            "You really think so, Brother?"_

_            "I know so."_

            Van tightened his face muscles against the memory. It was foolishness, pure and simple. He was a man now. Enough of these childish memories. He knew what he had to do about _him_.

            But his heart kept getting in the way…

            "Van?"

            Reflexively, he schooled his face to reveal nothing. He opened his eyes to look at a half-wet Hitomi standing before him. "You shouldn't be in the rain. You might get sick."

            She was looking up at him with an infinite depth in those tantalizing green eyes of hers. "Don't hide from me anymore. I know that's what you're doing."

            "What are you talking about?" He frowned. "Has the medicine gone to your head?"

            Instead of responding with irritation, as he had hoped, she merely smiled. "You're doing it again. But I understand now, Van. You're hiding."

            "No, I'm not."

            She bit her lip tentatively, reawakening feelings inside of him that he always held a tight leash on... Well, except for that one time…and he was still punishing himself for letting go of his control and opening himself up to more pain…

            "Van, please. Just talk to me." She shook her head quickly. "No, wait. You don't have to talk. Just don't hide yourself from me. I understand how you feel."

            He wanted to deny it, but knew that he couldn't. Instead, he turned his face away to look at the little town.

            She yanked on his hair, eliciting a small yelp from him. "Hey!"

            "Will you listen to me?" she said, the sharpness returning to her tone. "Stop being a bloody moron and _listen_. Give it up! I know what you're doing now, and all your instigation isn't going to erase that knowledge."

            He tried to keep his eyes steady. "What am I doing now, then?"

            Her face softened, making his heart skip unnaturally in his chest. "You were thinking about Folken."

            He swallowed, and turned his eyes away. It seemed like she could read his very soul through them, and he didn't like that one bit.

            "You said you didn't love him anymore, but I know that's a lie. He's your brother."

            He felt her rest a hand on his arm gently. "I'm sure he still loves you, too," she said quietly.

            Van's eyes felt like they were almost clouding up, but he refused to cry. That was something a nine-year-old would do…not a man ten years older.

            She sighed. "Fine. I guess there's no other way to convince you."

            She went into his arms, wet clothes and all, and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "It's okay," she whispered, her warm breath heating the skin of his neck.

            Almost instinctively, he returned her embrace, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms.

            "Just breathe deep, Van. Just let it out," Hitomi encouraged.

            He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair. Letting out the air, he felt much of his tension escape along with it.

            She smiled against his neck. "Rain is so cleansing," she murmured absently. "It washes away everything, purifies it."

            He nodded mutely, inhaling her scent, feeling his heart beat in a slow rhythm that was unbearably soothing. 

            "Can we be friends, Van?"

            He closed his eyes. "I thought you didn't want any friends."

            "I didn't…but right now anything is preferable to arguing with you all the time."

            He sighed in consent. "Yeah. We're friends."

            Her grip tightened slightly, and she chuckled. "You're really warm, you know that?"

            "How is that? We're both wet," he stated bluntly.

            He felt her shrug in his arms. "I don't know. You just are. I don't really care about being wet, anyway. It's not like we have any available shelter."

            With a smile that reached all the way to his heart, he contradicted her claim. Feeling the familiar pain in his back, pure white feathers joined the droplets falling from the sky as his wings burst out in all their glory to curve around like a feathery umbrella, concealing from the rain and the world the two hearts that beat as one.

* *incredibly goofy smile* Aw…I really like that ending………

Yeah so…any of you catch those other allusions I made all over the place? *wink* The picture of Van in the rain of course…which is currently the background of my desktop on the computer…and has been for…oh…a rather long time… Then if any of you know the lyrics to the songs from Escaflowne…you'd recognize something Millerna said I'm sure… I love throwing that stuff in there and twisting it to my own purposes *big grin*

So if any of ya are ever curious where I'm kinda picking Dryden's character from (I _am_ inspired from something)… Have any of you ever read the Star Wars books - you know, after the original series? _*big flashing sign* *DORK DORK DORK* *tries to turn off with light switch 'Stop don't tell them!!'* *big beeping sound* *'LOSER LOSER LOSER'* *Wink sighs*_ I guess I can't really hide it from you guys when I start talking about being an avid reader of the Star Wars books after the series… But if you are…you know Talon Karrde? (he not only has a kick-@$$ name, he's also got one of the coolest personalities of them all) Yeah. The one who's the top smuggler in the galaxy, he knows everything that goes on, etc… Mara Jade is his second-in-command…that is until she married Luke *sigh* I was indeed pleased with that… *shakes head to wake self up* Yeah well anyway, that's kinda who I'm basing Dryden's character off of. It's a good character, I think…

Enough of this idiotic rambling. I'd better stop before you read something that's even more detrimental to my ego (Ego? What's that? A waffle?) *POLISH POLISH* (and for all you that read that as the sound in 'shoe polish'…*LOL*!! You must be one of us too…)

Til the next time…which I don't know how long it'll take…but I do have the next chapter pretty much planned out…so we shall see…

-wink*

*ps. By the way, aradow…are you still thinking about the Polish joke earlier? *wink* hehe…*


	15. Suffering

Sorry it's taken so long to get this up…I've been having a hell of a week again, and coupled with mild writer's confusion (it wasn't really a block necessarily, just confusion over what exactly I wanted in this chapter) yeah. That made it take a while. And this chapter…I have a feeling it will be subject to a most-likely edited version…I hope not… but I've got this feeling I'll read it in three days and go "what was I thinking?" *small smile* I'm so tired and have a headache right now…but I'm doing this for you guys. Hope you like it…

  
Here's my thanks:

**Aradow**: Heh first yet once again… Alright, yeah, so right when I got your review I _scoured_ the last chapter…and as much as I tried…I couldn't really find any major spelling mistakes…so maybe I'm just being stupid and whatever…but if ya wanna tell me what you saw, I'd greatly appreciate it :P I practically killed myself trying to find something… **Q: How do you stop the Polish cavalry? ****A: Turn off the carousel.**

**Fushizen**** na: thanks so much for explaining AU to me…haha now I don't feel like so big of a dork…*bites lip uncertainly* yeah so…yeah. There's probably a bunch of other stuff I don't understand, but it's all good…I'll make it through…**

**LiLNeKo**: Heh I'm glad you'll stay with the fic even if it turns out the way you don't want it too…which I won't tell you if it will or not…*evil cackle* you'll just have to wait and find out like everyone else… And never ever apologize for a long review.

**snow**** blossoms: Uh…heh the picture I was talking about was Van in the rain :) And right now I'm too tired to try and find it somewhere…but you can find it online in a snap it's really easy…the picture seems to be on many Van sites…and there are a ton of them…**

**dreamingofflyingaway: You're not that odd. Trust me. I live with myself. You're not that odd.**

**Messenger of Doom**: heh…so you think…

**Kim**: Hey don't sweat not having a boy friend. It's not necessary, trust me. At least not while you're younger. I mean, heh, I'm 17, and I have yet to have a boyfriend, much less seriously hold hands with a guy because I like them. (Go figure…I don't know how I managed that kiss last chapter…) Yeah, so, before I go all 'older-person' on you and start giving you advice, I'll just say that I never wanted Luke with Leia cuz I wanted him for myself *wink* hehe. He had such funny hair…

**Jusuchina**: Yeah…I like the "Eyes" song a lot… Oh, and there you go, speakin' Polish on me…I'm tempted to get my mom in here to translate it for me. *grimace* I am ashamed to admit that I only know rudimentary Polish…I understand it better than I speak it… and I can't really read it all that well…so many consonants :P blah…I take Russian, so you'd think it'd help some. Oh well. Hehe. You've exposed my dreadful secret… Dang, some of those words sound so familiar but I can't place them for the life of me…(well, I did understand 'fanfiction'…despite my polish-ness…)

**SabineballZ**: Sheesh, you want everyone kissing don't you? *wink* Hehe…well…I won't tell you what'll be happening…only, as I'm sure you've already figured out from reading the first fourteen chapters, don't expect me to do things you might expect…

**General Thanks**:  
Macky, Night of the Raven, Tevrah (Oh, and the answer to your question is: keep reading. *big smile* Don't worry, the story will answer these questions…), Lady Luna (a thousand babies?! Poor Hitomi…), Sara (brass kicks…uh…butt), Onigiri Momoko, hh, Honeypot (Hala Bread) (which is it?), loverwren, jazzybca

Ugh. So tired. So here it is. Please, if it's horrible, say it nicely. :P I've already got no ego as it is…

Disclaimer: I don't own it. I'm sick of this. Can I just say it this once and have it apply to every other chapter?

Chapter 15: Suffering

            "You have failed, Folken."

            Silence was the only response.

            "Because you did not stop the Dragon, the girl is even now slipping farther from our reach. It is impossible to stop the chain of events that will ensue. Your sorcerers' mind shield will not hold for much longer, and then all of our plans will become null and void. Our ideal destiny will collapse around us, destroying any hope of peace the people of Gaia may harbor within their hearts."

            The weight of his words pressed hard upon their recipient.

            "There is no way we can prevent the girl from knowing now. You have left us with only one last chance to redeem our destiny as we see fit.

            You must kill the Dragon."

*          *          *

            Hitomi shoved her just-washed shirt into her pack, blowing the hair out of her eyes. Van stood on the other side of the bed, meticulously folding his clothes to fit into his pack with the minimum amount of used space. Odd that a boy with such disheveled hair would pack so neatly. Throwing a cursory glance over at his organization, she shrugged carelessly at her own mess. So long as she was packed, she really didn't care the method she used.

            "I don't see why this had to be made such a big deal," Van grumbled. "It's like we were on a vacation or something."

            "Don't be so bitter," she chided. "It doesn't hurt to actually wash clothes every once in a while."

            "I just don't see why you had to unpack _everything_ that was in your bag to begin with."

            "I wanted to be comfortable."

            "You had to unpack all your clothes to feel _comfortable_?"

            She sneered at him. "Just shut up."

            His eyebrows rose slightly. "I was only trying to figure out why you would unnecessarily do all that."

            "You're such a guy, Van."

            His face softened with his wry grin at her comment. "That's what people keep telling me."

            She stuck her tongue out at him as he shifted his concentration back to his packing. She ruffled through the rapidly diminishing pile of clothes in the center of the bed, and mentioned, "You know, maybe you should stop using your wings so often."

            His burgundy eyes flickered to hers briefly. "Why?"

            She pulled out a garment from the pile, holding it up with an impish smile on her face. "You're running out of shirts."

            He shrugged dismissively at the gaping hole in the back of his shirt, pulling the strap on his bag taut.

            "It was such a nice shirt, too," she mused absently, looking from him to the shirt and back again. "It brought out your eyes." A faint blush dusted her cheeks as she ducked her head and focused furiously on fitting a pair of pants into the marginal space left in the bag.

            "It'd fit a lot better if you folded it," Van stated, crossing his arms knowingly.

            She wrinkled her nose. "It's fitting," she replied stubbornly.

            "If it was, you'd be done by now." He came around the bed. "Geez!" he exclaimed upon seeing the interior of her bag. "It's no wonder you're having problems fitting all your stuff!"

            "I am not!" she declared. She jerked the strap of her pack closed and placed her hands on her hips in obstinate victory. "See? Everything fits perfectly fine."

            Smiling mischievously, he flicked the strap that was straining against its restrictions, and then chuckled as it lost its hold and all of Hitomi's belongings tumbled free.

            "You jerk!" she moaned, hastily stuffing everything back in. "I can't believe you did that!"

            "If you just fold it, then you'll be fine."

            "Like I'm going to want to listen to you after what you just did."

            His eyes were mocking. "I'm not the one with the problem of space."

            "Oh, just shut up. Go kick some puppies or something."

            "You don't need help?"

            "Correction: I don't need _your _help. Just go away."

            He shrugged. "Whatever you want, Princess. I'll be waiting by the horses."

            She nodded, surreptitiously watching him sling his pack onto his shoulder and then exit the room. Once he was out of sight, she quickly took all of her clothes out of her bag and began to fold them – albeit haphazardly – and place them carefully within the pack.

*          *          *

            "Shouldn't they be back by now?"

            Allen paced nervously around the small tent.

            Dryden raised his eyes from the book in his hand, a bemused smile curving his lips. "I'm sure they're fine, Allen," he reassured the knight. "Most likely they needed to rest or take care of something."

            "Van should've been able to make it back sooner…he's a warrior, he doesn't have time for comforts…"

            "Hitomi was with him," Dryden reminded him idly. "She's certainly not a warrior."

            A strange look came over Allen's face. "I'm not so sure about that."

            Dryden's eyebrows rose. "What?"

            "I saw her once…practicing archery." Allen turned serious eyes to Dryden. "She's not helpless in the least."

            Dryden nodded agreeably. "I suppose not."

            Allen frowned. "How would you know?"

            As the merchant opened his mouth to speak, the knight immediately waved him away. "Never mind. I don't really want to hear about how you can't reveal your clandestine connections and all that bull _again."_

            The brown-haired man shrugged. "I actually didn't really know. I was just agreeing with you. But whatever you choose to believe I meant suits me fine."

            Allen locked gazes with him. "How does anyone put up with you for any long amount of time?"

            Dryden's mouth curved humorlessly. "My charm."

            The blonde snorted. "I'm sure."

            He laughed. "Actually, they don't have to put up with me. I don't tend to be with anyone for any long amounts of time."

            "Oh, really."

            He crossed his arms and set the book on the floor. "I can't afford to trust everyone I meet."

            Just as Allen was about to open his mouth to speak, the tent flap burst open.

            "Boss!"

            The voice was startlingly familiar, yet frighteningly weak. Allen's shocked blue eyes turned to the intruder. "Gaddes?"

            The dark-haired man stumbled in, his normally-ruddy face ashen. "Sorry, Boss-" he gasped, clutching at his leg. "But they ambushed us – couldn't stop – so many-"

            "Who? Why? What happened?" Allen caught his man before he fell to the floor. The blood gushing down his leg in an endless torrent stained the earthen floor beneath their feet a deep brownish-red. "Get Millerna!" Allen demanded unnecessarily, Dryden already rushing to comply.

            Allen tried to lay Gaddes gently on the floor. "What happened?" he asked brusquely.

            Gaddes seemed to have recovered some of his wits at having the pressure off of his wound, his voice still raspy but intelligible. "Dilandau and his men… They caught up to the scouting party…demanded that we show them where Van and Hitomi were…didn't believe that they weren't back…killed off Rio and Maes…I barely made it back. They might still be out there…" Beads of sweat dotted his forehead, and his face contorted in pain as he unconsciously moved his leg. His head abruptly slumped to the floor as he fell unconscious.

            Millerna appeared at the door, face flushed from her run to the tent. "What – Gaddes!" She rushed to his side and pushed Allen away, kneeling in a billow of skirts. Upon a quick examination of his leg, she shouted authoritatively, "Get towels! Warm water! Dryden, you go get my medical kit! Someone get me a cot in here _now!"_

            The men obeyed unquestioningly, Allen pausing outside the tent only to warn his men of the possible enemy before he retrieved the items Millerna had asked for.

*          *          *

            Dilandau chuckled to himself, idly staring at his sword which was still slicked with blood that looked devilishly black in the moonlight.

            Wholesale slaughter was always something that brought a smile to his face.

*          *          *

            The candle cast eerie shadows on the wall of the tent in front of her.

            She sat on the floor next to the cot that held the sleeping man. Her fingertips rested gently on Gaddes' left chest-armor, which was slightly dented, evidence of the reason he survived to tell his tale. His strong chest rose and fell with his steady breathing, always a good sign. Her eyes were half-closed from the fatigue of a rushed surgery and constant vigilance. Gaddes seemed to be out of immediate danger, but at any moment things could take a turn for the worst. She couldn't leave his side, not yet.

            A hand rested on her shoulder, making her jump.

            "Maybe you should sleep."

            She shook her head, feeling slightly faint. "I can't. Not yet. If he wakes up…if the wound gets infected…"

            Dryden sat beside her, staring with complete seriousness at the sleeping form in front of them. "Will he make it?"

            "He should. He lost a lot of blood, but the wound is sealed now. It's just a matter of waiting to see whether the wound heals as it should."

            "Ah, I see." His mouth tipped in a faint smile as he looked towards her. "You never cease to amaze me."

            Millerna's sleep-deprived brain couldn't even attempt to stop the blush that covered her cheeks. "What do you mean?"

            "You seem so timid sometimes, like you'd obey whatever anyone told you to do. And then a situation like this arises, and you take over like a supreme dictator, and no one dares question your commands."

            She lowered her face modestly. "I was just doing what I had to. I mean-"

            "I know you were, little songbird. You don't need to try and prove your intentions to me. You showed today how strong you really are."

            His hand slipped into hers comfortingly, and she felt no need to try and disentangle herself from his touch.

            "You know, I could watch him for a little if you would like some sleep."

            She shook her head slowly, her denial emphasizing her lie. "I'm fine. I just…I can't leave his side."

            Dryden pursed his lips momentarily. "How about this," he suggested. "You stay here and take a nap, while I also stay here, awake, and watch Gaddes for you. Therefore, if any problem arises, you will still be right here."

            Her eyelids felt so heavy, and his proposal did indeed sound tempting. "Where would I sleep?"

            "How about here?" He moved closer behind her, gently nudging her head towards his shoulder.

            He was so warm…and despite his obvious strength, so utterly comfortable…she couldn't help but succumb to him without argument. Millerna could feel her eyes flutter closed as she basked in his presence. His scent drugged her senses; he smelled like the exotic tree bark off of the leotia trees of legend. "Wake me if anything happens," she mumbled sleepily as her brain slowly drifted off.

            Dryden shifted his position slightly, trying to make her more comfortable, even though she was already too far gone to notice. "Sure, little songbird."

            Allen walked away from the tent, feeling a rushing coil of emotions within his gut. But strangely, the biggest feeling was not anger or betrayal…

            It was sadness.

            Sadness that, for some reason, he was doomed to forever walk this world alone. Never to share his heart with another.

            He didn't know why. He didn't know how he managed to ruin every relationship in one way or another. But every time he ever opened up his heart, it was promptly destroyed because of his poor choices. Marlene had been forbidden, Hitomi unreachable, Millerna…

            His head bent down as he walked farther into the clearing. It was best that he stop dwelling on her. After all, she'd made it clear who she preferred, hadn't she?  
            He could feel the jealously within himself, and stubbornly tried to push it away. What kind of man would he be if he couldn't accept rejection without resorting to childish resentment and malice? Besides, he knew most of it was probably his own fault.

            But it hurt so much, to see the truth displayed so vividly before his eyes.

            Dilandau and his men were gone. So the camp hoped, anyway. Allen had sent several groups out to search for them, armed to the teeth, but nothing was found except for the dead bodies of Rio and Maes. Even now there were men vigilantly watching out for any indication of an enemy attack.

            But his mind couldn't dwell on that for long. His heart kept getting in the way.

            Why couldn't he ever fall for a girl that was right for him? Why did it seem that every girl he ever loved was always truly meant for another and in the end always completely unattainable?

            His blue eyes rose to the lights in the sky, twinkling as if they held some secret that they were dying to tell. _Do you know my future?_ he thought to the sparkling crystals in the midnight sky.

            Silence was his only reply.

            He remained like that for some time, alone beneath a starry sky. _I know it's my own fault. But this isn't the way stories are supposed to be, he thought to himself desolately. __They're supposed to end happy, no matter how much the hero screws up. Don't the good guys win in the end?_

*          *          *          

            The sun was hidden behind belts of gray clouds that slowly inched across the sky. The bland weather did nothing to dissuade the pleasant atmosphere that pervaded the countryside, however.

            Maybe the reason it still felt nice was because her and Van seemed to be on pretty good terms most of the time…

            She smiled to herself, thinking what a difference it made to be friends with the dark warrior. He wasn't brooding as much as he used to, though he sometimes would drift away, his face a mask of seriousness. But these moments seemed few and far between.

            Of course, he wasn't a happy-go-lucky clown of a guy now either. _He never will be, she mused to herself. __It's not in his character. But he'd lost much of the moroseness that had always seemed to taint his personality. Instead, he was just…Van. Who happened to insert funny sarcastic comments that always took her by surprise._

            Their banter didn't make her as angry as it used to. In fact, she could almost say she enjoyed it…even when he did take it a little too far.

            "We'll be stopping in the town we were in a week ago."

            "Really?" Hitomi perked up. "You mean the one where Hideki was?"

            "Yeah."

            She grinned, and sat back in the saddle, trying to disguise her excitement. "Oh. Well that's nice."

            He slanted a knowing look at her. "I thought you'd think it was."

            Hitomi chuckled, giving up her charade. "You're very astute."

            "People tell me that all the time, too."

            "I would shove you right now if you weren't farther than an arm's length from me."

            "That's _your arm's length. __I can reach you from here."_

            "It's not my fault I'm not proportioned like a monkey."

            "It's not my fault you're a midget."

            "I am not!"

            He grinned irascibly, causing her to sigh regretfully. "How come you can always get to me, but I can never get to you?"

            "Princess, it's not really a matter of whether it actually occurs, but rather if it's shown. You just happen to be very…demonstrative when you get riled up."

            She snorted. "That's so very flattering."

            He shrugged. "I try my best."

            "Oh, I can tell."

            Van frowned faintly as they approached the city. Something wasn't right. He could sense it on the wind, the feel of the place. It felt…wrong.

            In fact, it almost reminded him of something that had happened long ago…

            He prayed to God that the uneasy feeling curling within his gut was mistaken.

            "Van?"

            He turned to his companion.

            "There's something wrong, isn't there?"

            He nodded, not feeling the need to try to deny it now, yet still vainly hoping that it would turn out to be a misconception by both of them.

            She gripped her horse's reins tighter. "I have a bad feeling about this," she murmured forebodingly.

            They rode on in silence, both attempting to decipher the premonition that was nagging at them, until they crested the last hill.

            And stopped.

            A wasteland lay out before them.

            Van felt his breath catch in his throat at the utter destruction that had been unleashed over the city. Buildings that had once stood tall and stately among the quaint cottages were reduced to stony rubble. Those cottages had crumpled into black ashes that wafted towards them on the afternoon breeze. The city reeked of utter desolation.

            "Burned…" Hitomi choked. "All of it…burned…"

            He turned to look at her, and found her face completely frozen. Her eyes were full of indescribable pain, yet there was no sheen of tears covering their emerald irises. "We should go check it out…just in case," he said, trying to keep his voice as comforting as he could manage, but knowing it was all a useless exercise.

            She nodded stiffly, and followed him as he rode towards the remnants of the city gates. His heart sank as the scene before him reminded him painfully of the memory he had been desperately hoping he'd never see again.

            The wind tiptoed through the city, as though it too was afraid of disturbing the dead. Van looked at the buildings, some of them still smoldering with unquenched embers of the fire. All over the dusty streets were frantic footprints, as if there had been utter chaos just before the city was frozen in time. The footprints multiplied towards but did not extend beyond the gate. Here and there were overturned carts that once upon a time held merchandise sold in the marketplace. The objects on the carts were scarcely recognizable, blackened and shriveled from the heat that had scorched them. He looked towards the balcony where he and Bohdan had conversed, and knew deep within his heart that his friend was now lost forever in the ashes of the city. Steeling himself against the pain, he proceeded onwards, forgetting Hitomi's presence behind him. All that remained of a small house to his right was the leftmost cornerstone. But within the house's boundaries he found a sight that tore the breath from his lungs. Within the base of the walls were the skeletal remains of the lucky few whose existence the fire had elected to preserve forever in their final moments. A woman, judging by the once-long hair that had been singed to nothingness, was leaning impassively against a ramshackle bed that had somehow stood up against the fury of the fire. A blackened form of a child lay on top of it, one shriveled, bony hand reaching toward the woman against the bed. Just a little farther away, two lovers were frozen in their last breaths, sharing one last kiss before they too were reduced to charred corpses rotting in the ashes of the city they had loved.

            Van turned his head away, feeling bile rise up in his throat. The carnage was unbelievable. These people…he had known these people, had talked with many of them, had lived with them…

            He turned to Hitomi, only to find her face blank, like a doll's expressionless face. It was as if the gruesome deaths around them could not penetrate the invisible shield surrounding her.

            He heard his heart beating dully within his ears. Apparently, it wasn't enough that he had to endure a scene such as this once in his lifetime. When Fanelia had been burned to the ground, he had prayed that he never would have to see another sight like that.

            Apparently fate had not listened to his prayer.

            Hitomi's mouth was dry. There was something here, something… Something familiar.

            The dead made her stomach churn in her gut, and it took all of her strength to keep from vomiting. The smell – the acrid stench of burned flesh and charred wood – assaulted her nostrils with such power that she felt as if she would never be able to inhale again without smelling that scent. Her knuckles were white on the reins of her horse, the animal whinnying in obvious discomfort. Dumbly, she followed Van's lead, trying to keep from concentrating on the horrible things that surrounded her in every direction.

            She could feel the memory of the fire from her dream licking at her skin…could feel the pain that these victims had felt…could feel their anguish at losing everything they held dear to them…

            Her body involuntarily shivered at reminiscent agony.

            They reached the bridge, far from the center of the city and therefore far from the heartless massacre. The water was rushing underneath it in eerie calm and purity. Van let out a heavy breath that said what hundreds of words never could. "We should stop here," he murmured softly.

            She nodded mutely again, watching him slide down off of his saddle and dip his hands in the water to wash his face, as if that would wash away the memories he would forever hold of this place. He bowed his head and placed his forehead on his fist impotently, wrestling with emotions she couldn't begin to assuage.

            She swallowed as best she could through her constricted throat, and looked along the bank, the grass there being the only green visible for a mile. Her heart stopped in her chest as her eye caught hold of something, and she slowly dismounted, walking toward it on legs as stiff as the dead bodies she had seen. She bent down to pick it up, and felt a stinging fill her eyes.

            It was a toy boat, burned by the fire, but not destroyed. She traced a finger lovingly down its rough side, most of the red paint having peeled off from the heat. The gentle weight of the boat filled her palms, and she stared at it with eyes full of sorrow.

            It had been Hideki's boat.

            Her breath was stolen away as she looked at the child's toy, almost seeing another identical boat in her mind's eye, in a strange double-vision.

            And she remembered…

            She stood in the middle of an ashen wasteland for the second time, destroyed by an unquenchable fire. The smells, the sights, the sounds…

            She remembered _everything_.

            Clutching the boat to her chest like it was her very life, she fell to her knees in the mud, feeling everything inside her rip apart.

            _The wolf-man…_

_            The fire…_

_            Hideki…_

            And she _knew._

*yeah…I know it's not as long as the ones before…but yeah. I wanted the chapter to stop there. Kinda like a cliffhanger…right? *wink* Hehe. You guys seemed to review like crazy with the other cliffhanger…I've already started on the next chapter, and it'll be informative…hehe…

Well I'm dog-tired as I've already said way too many times in my authors notes. No real humor tonight, sorry. It's hard to crack jokes while your typing on a computer when your head is pounding like there are 4 marching bass drummers in there…(gah…so much band…I can't even go through a chapter without making some kooky band analogy…I've got it bad…).

Hope it's not too bad…

-wink*

*ps. And I know a lot of you were anticipating Allen-bashing…heh but despite his questionable status in this story, in the beginning he really wasn't that big of a jerk…and so yeah. Heh. Oh, thought I'd just let you know…his thoughts at the end of his segment…partly inspired from a song that I absolutely love. "Masonic" by Craig's Brother.

"No way/She can't end up with him/Did the hero die?/Don't the good guys win?/Don't they win in the end?  No longer bound/It's freedom he defies/In shock cuz I've been hit between the eyes/I guess it's fair/I made the bed where I will lie/There's got to be some way now…/The pain of losing you should fade in time." Great song…  
I think I'm just starting to take his side because I sympathize with him most in the story *smiles* not the screwing-everything-up part (though I do sometimes have that problem) but more along the lines of always falling for someone completely unattainable for one reason or another…*


	16. Chance

I'm so incredibly sorry!!! Forgive me for taking forever and a half to update!!!! But this was a really hard chapter to write…for several reasons…content being one…and then I also didn't know exactly what else to put in the chapter after the initial beginning, and how to get to where I wanted to… and in addition to all that nonsense, I had writer's block…sorta… PLUS I had to write all the college crap I've been putting off (:P don't procrastinate college stuff) even though only one of the deadlines is December first…but yeah… somehow that took up a lot of my time…plus we had a band concert last week, which totally consumed most of my hours until Thursday evening, and I also have this chapter to write for a class in school…which I haven't actually done yet…but I've done some of the research now…and yeah. So because I'm a slacker and also overwhelmed…that's why the chapter took so long.

Forgive me…I hope it's worth it.

**Thanks:**

LiLNeKo, Night of the Raven, Macky, SpitFire06, Messenger Of Doom, aradow (hehe that was indeed funny…for me anyways…oh, and you're slacking. Tsk tsk. Other peoples are beating you to the reviews…and as you can see, I've gotten extremely lazy, plus it's 1:30 in the morning…therefore…no jokes :P), Lady Luna, hh, Onigiri Momoko, Tevrah (ooh yay! A stuff Van toy! *hugs tightly* that's so great…oh and you know, since I already have – what is it? – 16 chapters up now, I figure Gaia is pronounced the same way no matter how you spell it…I'm sure you guys get what I'm trying to say, right?), dreamingofflyingaway, Fushizen na, Sara (Oh! I played Armenian Dances in that honors band I was in…and anything by Holst is great for band *wink* good euphonium solos…and Lincolnshire Posy is also definitely a great piece…ever heard of Trittico? That one's cool…oh, and Inferno, Purgatorio, Ascension, and Paradiso by Robert W. Smith are also really awesome pieces…based off of Dante's writings…), Persephone (funny that I would be able to blend the manga in…since I've never actually read it…:-/ funny how that works, eh? Hehe…), Kim (aw…don't be so harsh to Allen…he's not gay in my story :P and I'm soo sorry I took so long to update! *bows* forgive me…), SabineballZ, Dreamboat Annie (I had an update day? Hehe…I always just updated when I finished the next chapter…)

Thanks all you guys…and as you see…I have become exceedingly lazy…and it's 1:30 am…therefore I am not making it all fancified. Also, like this no one can get offended, because there is no difference between 'general thanks' and 'specific thanks'…not really…

Yeah so enough of this preliminary stuff.

Disclaimer: Yeah. Don't own it.

Chapter 16: Chance

            The air whistled a silent tune of death, swirling faint ashes around her. But she didn't notice.

            Her mind was swamped with memories of times long gone…

            A hand rested on her shoulder, forcing her reluctantly back to the present. Van's shadowed eyes appeared haunted as they looked at her with sympathy. He didn't say anything, just remained beside her as she bowed her head and rocked the boat back and forth in her arms, sharing her pain with a kinship only brought about by mutual experience.

            Through all of her memories, she caught the brief train of thought that Van certainly was suffering as much as she was…for his home had been destroyed in very much the same way. Clinging on to that thought, letting it draw her fully back into reality, she stopped moving and let out a deep, shaky breath.

            "Van."

            "Yes?" His voice was unnaturally hoarse, as if the restrained emotion had ripped away dozens of cells from the lining of his trachea.

            "I know."

            She could feel his faint frown even with her eyes tightly closed. "You know what?"

            Her jade eyes opened and looked deep into his dark gaze.

            His mouth opened slightly as he found himself at a loss for words.

            She was whole.

            "You can see it, can't you? I know who I was. I have my past back."

            He squatted on the grass beside her, patting her shoulder awkwardly. "If you don't want to talk about it-"

            "Of all people, Van, you should be the one who hears it first."

            With a puzzled expression, he just nodded.

            "You probably will want to sit down."

            He nodded mutely again and lowered himself experimentally to the ground.

            Hitomi looked absently at the toy residing within her grasp, fingering the chipped paint. "I was the adopted princess of Maia."

            His eyes widened. "That's impossible," he contradicted with a positive frown. "I was there once when I was a child…I never saw you."

            "Didn't you?" Her eyes were achingly serious. "You were never introduced to anyone in the royal family other than the king, mainly because you kept running away and wandering around the castle. You didn't want to have anything to do with royalty."

            He didn't reply, convincing her that she was correct.

            "But you did go out into the marketplace once. You helped a little girl up out of the mud. Remember?"

            His brow furrowed in thought. "I think so…"

            "That was me."

*          *          *

            I was the adopted princess of Maia. My father was the king, my mother the queen, and my adopted brother Prince Hideki. No one ever knew from where I came, but my father said that the moment he and my mother caught a glimpse of me toddling around alone, they loved me. No one knew how I had ended up alone at such a young age, but it ceased to be consequential. I had never even given a thought to the fact that I was not their flesh and blood, for it was as if trivialities like that didn't matter.

            My father was always kind to me. He would always ruffle my hair – which was long back then – and say that Maia was 'lucky' to have me as a princess. I would just laugh at this…but honestly, I felt that _I was the lucky one, to be accepted into such a marvelous country with open arms._

            I was a little tomboy, which probably comes as no surprise to you. I remember wandering the palace as a little girl, only I knew it far better than you did when you came. One night, feeling especially devious, I discovered the gap between the walls that I could access from my closet. In the gap in the walls I could go anywhere undetected, and find out all the secrets in the palace. I never told anyone, though. I suspected that if they knew of my secret passageways, they would seal them up. Apparently it worked to the best that I never told a soul, giving us the opportunity we would need now.

            Anyway, my mother didn't particularly enjoy my carousing around like a little fire-angel, causing havoc and poking my nose into everything. She always tried to make me more like a 'lady.' It worked…sometimes. But I never felt like a 'lady' in my heart… I always wanted more to life than dancing and dinner conversation.

            I suppose I got what I wanted, right?

            My brother Hideki was simply adorable…about 7 years younger than me, I think. Perhaps more. I was like a second mother to him, and I was his caretaker throughout much of my memories. He had the most ridiculous notions – well, they were ridiculous then – about angels and such imaginative creatures. I often indulged his curiosity, weaving grand tales of love and triumph for him before he slept. He was such a great child. I used to take him to the river that ran behind the castle to play with boats that our wolf-man servant, Jael, had carved for him out of yasala tree bark.

            Jael was almost like an uncle and big brother to me. If ever I got hurt, or got close to it, he would be there to defend me and rescue me. It was because of my close relationship to him and my secret passageways that I knew of the undercurrents of restlessness that filled the people underneath my father's rule.

            My father was a good man, but he had faults, as any human does. His treatment of the Faunirri was not the best, and this I knew very well. I often tried to convince him of this, even as a little girl. But he would not be persuaded to change his ways, no matter how much I pleaded, cajoled, and reasoned. I would sometimes hear him and my mother arguing over the topic, but in the end my father always won. He was the king, after all. I tried to talk with the Faunirri about the situation as well, but they were just as stubborn. The rift between the monarchy and the people was too wide to breach with any child's efforts at reconciliation.

            I remember that fateful night so clearly now…it was 5 years ago, as you probably know from common gossip. I had been practicing archery with Jael (he was convinced that I needed to learn to defend myself) when I told him how much I continued to try and convince my father that changes needed to be made.

            Jael ruffled my hair with brotherly affection and said, 'Princess, you might want to stay away from the castle tonight.'

            Naively, I thought nothing of his statement and joined him and his family in a small Faunirri celebration at their house that night. But when I saw the look on Jael's face upon mentioning my father, I intuitively knew something was wrong right away. Forgetting about dinner, I ran as fast as I could towards the castle…but it was too late.

            Flames shot up out of the windows, charring the beautiful shining gray stone a heartless, grotesque black. I could smell the ashes infesting the air, making it nearly impossible to breath. I looked up to the castle, seeing the faces of my family flash in front of my eyes with heart-wrenching clarity, and then I swear I heard Hideki crying out for help. I ran into the flaming doorway, heedless of the perils obvious within the burning castle. I could hear him crying in my ears, as if he were in every room that I entered. Yet I could never find him in the flames. Before long, I was yanked out by Jael, who had followed me with breakneck speed.

            I coughed heavily, the smoke having filled my lungs with its poisonous gas. 'Let me die!' I screamed at him, tears streaking down my dusty cheeks.

            I honestly wanted to die right then. I could see no life ahead of me…my family was all dead. Where would I be?

            Jael held me in his arms as I cried my heart out.

            'I wish I could take all the pain away,' he said soothingly.

            'Why did it have to happen this way?' I asked him brokenly. 'Why did they all have to die?!' I wanted to push him away – because wasn't it his kind that had done this to me? – but I didn't have the strength.

            He smiled at me gently, though the smile was sorely lacking happiness. 'My little Hitomi, sometimes we cannot change the nature of things.'

            My heart rebelled at this statement. 'But…it's not fair!' I could feel another crying spell begin to rise within my chest.

            His canine eyes gleamed with sympathy and remorse. 'Life is not fair, little one. We must go through life, trying for the best. That is all we can do. I never intended for you to hurt this way. But you must be strong. Your father would have wanted you to.'

            So I was. It wasn't as if I had a choice.

            I was accepted by the Faunirri as one of their own, for since I was the adopted daughter of the king and not actual flesh and blood, they had deemed that I could be spared. I trained with the warriors, and learned how to survive in the harshest environments so that I could be strong enough to withstand whatever trials life would throw at me. I even contemplated revenge upon the Faunirri leaders for what they had done to our family, but I couldn't carry through with my plans. It would be like murdering family, and I had already lost enough people I loved as it was.

            I built up my strength, becoming one of the best warriors in the clan. Although I wasn't taught to fight with the sword past the rudimentary basics, Jael had drummed archery into me since I was a small child, and I was the best archer in the whole clan. I could easily see how the country was slowly disintegrating as the loss of a power head began to take its toll. Then, after living about 5 years with the Faunirri, Dornkirk's men arrived.

            The clans were forced to have defined borders and work for Zaibach. I still am not sure how they managed to overpower such an indomitable group like the Faunirri, but I suppose reasons are not necessary in face of the facts. They would utilize our best warriors in their own schemes, sometimes involving the assassination of other world leaders.

            After some time, they came to me, as I had suspected all along. They needed an archer that would assassinate the king of Asturia without a trace. To refuse would be to ask for death, which was something I'd escaped once already. I didn't feel the need to give up my life right away. But then, I couldn't accept such a heartless mission either.

            I was living with Jael and his family at the time in a cottage far away from the village proper. His wife and three little children had filled the void in my heart that had been ripped out when my family died. The children were just as innocent and mischievous as Hideki ever had been. For the second time in my life, I felt accepted in a family. I was home.

            Jael insisted that I refuse Zaibach's commission. He knew the consequences, but demanded it anyway. 'So many of us have given up our morals to save our lives,' he said stubbornly. 'I will not have you giving up either of them.'

            They came that night. It was as if Zaibach had eyes and ears everywhere…as if they had spies within every house, every wall…

            They surrounded the house, the flames on their torches illuminating the night sky with a tangible representation of hell's fury. They ordered I be sent out, to be dealt with personally. Jael refused. He stood at the doorway and held them off…but he was no match for that many Zaibach soldiers.

            He was beaten. I remember helplessly watching from a hidden corner of the window as the wicked men cut off one of his ears merely for the sick pleasure of hearing him cry out in pain. They mutilated his body in the most grotesque way, carving obscene things into his skin, piercing both skin and muscle. There was so much blood… I have never seen so much blood. The true color of his fur was scarcely visible beneath the red liquid of his life. But they didn't kill him. Not yet.

            Jael's wife rushed me and the children into a cellar as the men turned towards the house, and she locked us behind the thick wood doors. I protested at her being left to the mercy of the men, but was soon forced to silence myself as I heard the men enter the house.

            I held the children close to me, as her scream echoed through the planks above us.

            The voices were muffled, but I could still vaguely make out what they were saying. I desperately prayed the children wouldn't be able to.

            They raped her. In front of Jael's almost lifeless eyes, they raped her and mutilated her as well. I never saw what they did…it's probably best that I didn't. The sounds that assaulted my ears were enough to make my stomach twist violently within me and bring tears to my eyes. I heard the captain give the order to gouge Jael's eyes out, having apparently already killed the wolf-woman. I heard a sickening thump, and somehow knew that his children were orphans in much the same way as I. I held their shivering forms closer to me, trying to protect them from the inhumanity of the world. I heard the captain pacing the room, shouting out for me to show myself. I almost did, if it would make the men leave the house and children in peace. But I knew better than to believe they had any morality.

            Then I heard the most frightening thing of all.

            'Burn it all down. If she's hiding, then she'll die. If she's not, we'll find her and kill her then. No loss.'

            The children and I were trapped in a dank cellar underneath a house that was bound to become hell's inferno.

            Frantically, I tried to break through the door, using every skill I'd ever learned from the Faunirri. I managed to break through, only to find myself in the same place I was five years previous. The walls were already aflame, and the heat in the room was almost unbearable. My heart was momentarily paralyzed, but with warrior calm I distanced myself from the memories and pulled the children out, urging them to escape. I watched them run in the hazy heat out into the cool night air, and felt slight relief that the least I could do for Jael's memory would be to save his children. I desperately prayed that Zaibach's men had left, so that the children would be able to run to the village and safety. I never knew whether they made it.

            All of a sudden, I heard crying. Just like the last time.

            Jael was no longer there to pull me out of the fire. I kept searching for the last child, hearing her crying but never being able to find her. I was blinded with this insane compulsion to find her. I would give up my life for Jael's child because he had given his up for me. I could do no less.

            There was an explosion beneath me, and I don't believe I'll ever know what it was, but it tore into my stomach, and I felt my life's blood draining out of me as my skin blistered in the wretched flames. I could feel the tears fill my eyes, quickly evaporated by the fire, knowing that I was doomed to death and failure. I had given up all hope…

            Until you.

*          *          *

            Hitomi swallowed hard. "And the rest, as they say, is history," she whispered, emotionally drained from the memories she had unearthed. She looked down at the boat, her thumb idly rubbing against the bow.

            His hand slipped between the toy and hers, gripping her fingers tightly. "I'm sorry."

            She shrugged emotionlessly. "It's not your fault. Why would you be sorry?"

            "You should never have had to experience any of that."

            "Van, these things happen. I've dealt with it."

            "You're not even crying."

            She looked up at him dully. "You're right. I'm not. But sometimes, crying tear after uncontrollable tear will never be able to say what you mean."

            His eyes merely stared at her, filled with a pain all their own. He pulled his hand out of hers, and sat back on his haunches. His mouth worked, but no sound came out. She sighed tiredly and looked away from him. "Van, would you mind it if I was alone for a while? Please?" she said quietly.

            With a curt nod, he stood and strode off into the distance with undue haste. But she didn't notice it all that much.

            "Hideki…" she murmured, feeling her heart breaking again. Could it break again? It should already be disintegrated by now. Did she even have any heart left that was vulnerable to closeness with another?

            Feeling her throat clog with emotion, she set the boat in the gurgling stream, and watched it slowly float along with the current, set off to destinations unknown, along with any hope she had ever held for the future. She gave the boat a trembling smile, and murmured, "Goodbye, Hideki."

            A single tear slipped down her cheek.

            And said all that needed to be said.

*          *          *

            "We'll be attacking at dawn."

            A malicious grin curved the man's mouth evilly. "Any burning involved?"

            "No. Simple annihilation by battle."

            A disappointed look crept into his blood-red eyes, but the smirk remained. "I suppose that will have to do."

            The tall man brought his hands together at the small of his back. "That reminds me… Dilandau, was it really necessary to burn down that whole village?"

            The albino twirled his dagger idly in his hands and shrugged. "I had the compulsion and the chance."

            Folken shook his head disapprovingly. "That was a very foolhardy thing to do."

            He sat up, his eyes blazing. "Why is that? Those people were collaborating with the Dragon and his bitch counterpart. They _deserved_ to burn."

            "You know that's not the reason you did it. You let go of your self-control again."

            "Yeah, well, so what?"

            "You don't understand…"

            "What's there to understand? A lot of meaningless people died."

            "Do you even know the girl's past?" Folken's voice turned deathly cold. "Did it ever occur to you that repeating the same action to her would also revive her memories?"

            Dilandau paled. "What?"

            "We cannot see the future." Folken turned, presenting his muscular back to his underling. "The Dragon and the girl are far too close…and the girl remembers her past now. There is only one thing keeping our plans from going straight to hell."

            "And what is that?"

            "One amnesia block that our sorcerers placed on her mind seems to have remained. This is our only saving grace."

            "And what does that keep her from remembering?"

            Folken turned his face halfway to present his stone-like profile to Dilandau. "Her life before Maia."

*          *          *

            They rode on in silence, having left the ruins of the once-beautiful city hours ago.

            "Are you okay?" Van asked unnecessarily, trying to comfort her. He hadn't done a very good job of it at the river, that was for certain. He silently cursed his inability to say anything right. It was just so difficult to wrestle with his own private demons and simultaneously feel the compulsion to take her all of her pain upon himself.

            Hitomi sighed. "What do you think?"

            "No."

            She shrugged half-heartedly. "I guess I'll be okay." Her mouth twisted. "It's not like it's the first time this has happened to me," she muttered bitterly.

            She sounded so changed…even when she had been haunted by her past earlier, she had never sounded so despondent and listless. She had just looked sad. Sort of regretful. But now, after she'd been in deep thought for a while… "Hey-" he began uncertainly.

            "Don't say anything about it, Van. I've already figured out all I need to figure out." She blew the hair out of her eyes with a heavy gust of air, making him wish he was close enough to brush it back for her, if just to touch her. "Loving on this side of heaven is losing. Why didn't I ever realize that before?"

            He frowned at her declaration. "What are you saying?"

            "I don't see why I kept letting people get close."

            "Life is pretty sad without anyone around." He was surprised at the words that spilled out of his mouth without thought. Van could feel them hammer at his mind. _Weren't you__ the one who had set himself against everyone else?_

            "And it's sadder when you lose those people." She straightened her back determinedly. "I think it'd be better if I just never saw anyone I loved again, rather than knowing they were lost forever."

            Van pursed his lips. "So is that why you grew so close to Hideki so quickly? Because you thought you'd never see him again?"

            Her chin tilted upward to look at him, her eyes glistened with a faint sheen of hurtful tears that he knew she'd never shed. "That's not fair."

            "But it's true."

            She turned her back to him. "I don't want to talk about it."

            He sarcastically congratulated himself on making a mess of things once more. But what was he supposed to say? He'd never been good with words. "You'll never get anywhere if you keep giving up on people." Once again, he heard the echo of his statement within his heart. Did he really believe that?

            "If I never start with people, then I won't have to give anything up, will I?"

            That had been his original vow…and it had been completely broken by a girl who used to be a princess. "That's a sad, lonely existence."

            "It's supposed to be."

            He was tired of her morbid, hopeless statements. "I don't understand you." He threw up his hands in disgust, his character losing its understanding quality. "You go around telling me to give it all up, to let it all go, yet you are just as locked in your little shell of protection. If anything, _you are the one who needs to let go."_

            "You don't know how I feel," she muttered coldly.

            All of the frustration and rage that had been accumulating within him ever since the desolate town burst forth.

            "Bullshit!"

            Her startled gaze flashed upwards at his harsh exclamation.

            His mahogany eyes flashed with anger. "Don't you tell me I don't understand your pain. You think that you're the only one who's ever hurt, the only one who's ever had the backbone to put up with all you've been through, but you're not. I know what it's like to find your home burned to the ground, what's left of your family staining the air with the scent of death. I know what it's like to feel helpless, to feel hopeless. Hell, I know what it's like to be betrayed by my own _brother!_ I know what it's like to try and live life without meaning. I know what it's like to hide behind walls of stubbornness, and I know what it's like to feel your heart tear apart with every breath you take! I may have not seen what you saw, but I have seen other things that would make you faint just hearing of them. I have lived with the scum of the world, have seen what they've done, and I have gone on with life. I know what it's like to try again, and still lose. Don't you _dare _tell me that I don't understand!"

            Her mouth hung open in shock.

            It was useless to try and reason with her. Like she had said, it would only be a loss. He might as well give up on her while he still had the slightest bit of a chance to do so. Closing his heart off to her, knowing he was losing a part of himself as he did this, his cold face turned forward, and his voice abruptly became tight and monotone. "We'll keep riding until we reach Ruhm's tavern. It's not safe to stay out in the open tonight." In all honesty, he just wanted to get back to camp as soon as possible, so that he could forget about the girl that had made him break his promise.

            Hitomi couldn't look away from him, even when his tone took on that aggravating dominating timbre he did so well. He obviously wasn't giving her an opinion in the matter. But for the life of her, she couldn't come up with a retort to his command, so amazed was she at the amount of syllables and emotions that had just escaped the dark warrior's lips…

*          *          *

            She was exhausted by the time they finally reached the tavern, both physically and emotionally. His words kept repeating in her head, and she felt her heart twinge ever so slightly. Maybe she shouldn't be so morose…maybe she still had a chance to glean some everlasting happiness from the life Fate had dealt her…

            Van had pushed them to ride fast, in order to reach the tavern quicker. Her backside hurt, even though she had gotten used to the saddle after so many days riding. Her heart was still raw from the beating it had received earlier that day. So many dead…

            Van jerkily tied his horse to a rail, leaving a lot of slack for grazing, and strode into the tavern, not waiting for Hitomi.

            She shrugged listlessly. Not that she expected a lot from him. He'd been giving her the cold shoulder ever since his uncharacteristic outburst.

            Looked like being friends wouldn't work for them. It had been better when she hadn't hoped for anything from him.

            She walked into the tavern, greeted by less smoke than usual. Ruhm smiled a toothy grin at her, saying, "Milady, a pleasure to see you again!"

            She attempted a smile in return. "Thank you, Ruhm."

            "You would like some wine, I presume?"

            "Not strong, yes." She sat beside Van at the bar counter, who had apparently already started drinking some of Ruhm's renowned ale. The corner of her mouth tipped slightly. "You sure don't waste any time, do you?"

            He slanted a look back at her, his eyes expressionless.

            Her faint smile disappeared at his face. It was like when they had first met…and she felt her heart sink. "Never mind," she murmured, turning away from him to look out the window. The stars were twinkling up in the sky as she sipped her wine. It failed to bring her the familiar warm, comforting feeling that it always did. She sighed.

            "Van, I'm going outside to think for a while," she said softly.

            He grunted a response that she assumed meant "Go ahead, I really could care less." Leaving her glass where it was, she walked out the door and leaned against the outside of the tavern, tipping her chin upwards to look towards the zenith of the sky.

            It was so quiet, for some reason. She saw a few clouds coasting the horizon lazily, and closed her eyes. The weight of the night pressed down on her, and she wondered vaguely whether her life would ever have a chance at being remotely easy.

            Blackness filled her mind, blanking out rational thoughts. She blinked, her eyes not seeing the field outside of the tavern.

            _She stood in another field, vaguely reminiscent of the archery field by Allen's camp. But this time, it wasn't empty or comforting._

_            A brutal battle raged within it, men killing men, swinging swords and shooting arrows, forever staining the ground a dark, brownish red. Bodies lay haphazard, the men still fighting merely stepping over the dead in order to defeat their foe. Hitomi felt bile rise up in her throat. The carnage was unbelievable. She'd seen death and destruction…but never like this. To her side, a man's head was lopped off by one of Allen's men, and the blood sprayed in her direction, making her cry out and dodge to the side, running into another soldier. She passed right through him._

A vision…

_            She saw Allen fighting a silver-haired demon of a man, both duelists getting nowhere with their advances except to cause more bloodshed. Her eyes roved over the roiling mass of soldiers, and she felt an emptiness in her chest. Was there any way to avoid this fate? Surely there had to be._

_            She felt her head spin as her vision shifted to the other end of the battlefield. Gaddes was fighting a huge brute of a man, and holding up well. But for some reason it looked as if he was limping. Suddenly, a man reared up behind him and Hitomi felt her throat constrict in a cry of warning, forgetting her nonexistence in this place._

_            The man hit Gaddes on the head with a large club, and she screamed as she saw Gaddes topple to the ground, blood suddenly cascading down his face. He lay on the ground, unmoving._

"Gaddes!"_ Hitomi ran over to the fallen man, realizing once more that she could do nothing in the vision but observe. She felt hot tears running down her cheeks. _"Please get up, Gaddes,"_ she wept. "You can't die on me…"___

_            He just lay there, still. As in death._

            She clutched her heart, as the stars swirled above her once more. She was on her knees outside the tavern, the blood rushing loudly in her ears, her mouth deathly dry, and her cheeks sticky with tears.

            "Gaddes…" she whispered. No…he couldn't die. There was no way. Fate would never be that cruel.

            She scrubbed at her cheeks roughly with the heel of her hand. It was just a vision. It wasn't real. Gaddes was capable enough to handle anything Zaibach would throw his way. He was in perfect health. He couldn't be so easily outmatched.

            She swallowed hard. Yes. That was it. It was about time she stopped expecting the worst. It was about time she stopped keeping her distance. There had to be hope in life. Like Van had said, she wasn't the only one who knew such pain.

            She could give life another chance.

            Rubbing her temple with her fingertips, she walked back into the tavern, hoping Van wouldn't notice her disheveled appearance.

            He was sitting in the same place she'd left him, even though it was obvious she'd been outside for some time, due to the relative positions of the stars.

            "Hey, Van…" she began hesitantly.

            "Whaddaya wan'?"

            She frowned. His words all slurred together, like he was…

            "Drunk," she said in disgust.

            He shrugged half-heartedly. "Doesn' matter."

            "Yes it does. We'll have to get back to camp all in one piece, and as much as I'd like to think I'm capable of handling all the bad guys on my own, I know I still need you."

            He raised an eyebrow sloppily. "Oh really?"

            Hitomi plucked the glass away from his hand with a look of disgust on her face. "No more for you."

            "Hey!"

            "Where is Ruhm, anyway?"

            "Left." Van licked his lips, as if to savor the last bit of whiskey there. "Said there was a room in the back…" He gestured vaguely in the direction of the rooms.

            "Alright, then let's get you cleaned up-"

            "I'm notta little boy," he muttered.

            "You're acting like one." She wrinkled her nose. "Why would you want to get yourself so piss-drunk anyway, Van?"

            His eyes flashed with lucid anger. "I wanna forget," he seethed, the liquor apparently having loosened his tongue. "I don' wan' to remember anything I remember, I just wan' it all to go 'way. Don' you understan'?" His fist slammed on the table, making her jump. "I _hate _this! Damn Folken an' his high an' mighty ideals! Damn Dornkirk for taking over my brother!" He pressed his forehead against his fist, squeezing his eyes shut tight. "An'…an' _damn you!!"_

            She was taken aback. "What?" Her eyes narrowed. "What did I do this time?!"

            He merely rubbed his face with his hands, refusing to answer her question.

            Feeling the anger bubbling inside her, she strode to the other side of the bar, filling up a cup with ice cold water. "I would like it if you would explain yourself for once, Van."

            "I can't," he mumbled to himself, seemingly lost in his thoughts. He started incoherently rambling, and Hitomi sighed.

            "You asked for it." She tossed the cupful of water into his face none too gently.

            He sputtered in shock, snapped out of the trance he had slipped into. "Wha- What's wrong with you, woman?!"

            "You need to grow up, Van Fanel! Sure, I may have screwed up some, but you do a fine job of it yourself. Drinking to forget will_ not make you forget! Haven't you learned that over the years? I'm sure you've been given the opportunity to try it out before."_

            He merely looked at her, his face almost-but-not-quite confused. "I-" He closed his mouth, frowning. "Yeah." She got the feeling that he was agreeing just because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

            She could feel her anger dissipate as she looked at him. Although he looked about the same as he always did, within his eyes she could almost see faint vestiges of hurt coming out.

            "I'm sorry about it all, Van," she said quietly, gripping his hand in hers.

            He nodded faintly, swallowing hard. "So'm I," he mumbled just before his head toppled onto the bar.

            "Oh man!" she exclaimed, trying to catch his head before he hurt himself. "Van? Van!" She turned his head sharply to find him definitely passed out. "Oh, geez. What am I going to do with you _now?" She looked back to the rooms, taking a guess at which one was supposed to be theirs. "It's probably going to be the one we had last time," she mused with a slight shrug. "Worth a shot, I guess."_

            After moving to the other side of the bar as quickly as she could manage before Van would lose his balance and fall to the floor, she smacked his face lightly, trying to wake him up. "C'mon, Van," she muttered irritably. "I can't carry you all the way there."

            Hitomi saw his eyes flutter open slightly, and cheered silently in triumph. "Stay awake, or at least half-awake, okay?" She yanked him upwards, slinging his arm around her shoulder. "Just lean on me, and we'll make it to the room, alright? Whoa…" She felt all his weight drop down on her, and gritted her teeth. _This is gonna be harder than I thought_.

            Slowly, painstakingly, inexplicably, they made it to the room. Hitomi sighed in relief as she was finally able to let Van topple headfirst on the bed.

            "I really don't care about letting you fall now, after half-carrying you across the tavern," she quipped wryly to his drunken form. "I'm sure you understand."

            He turned his head, his response muffled by the pillows.

            "Oh, _now you wake up," she grumbled, sitting on the bed beside him and pushing him the rest of the way over so that he was lying face-up._

            "Not really." At least that's what she thought he said.

            She gently brushed the hair off of his forehead in a motherly fashion, sighing. "Sometimes you're a real pain, Van."

            "Yeah." He looked up at her with a rather boyish expression that sent her heart oddly fluctuating within her chest, grabbing her hand with his. "Sing to me, will ya, Princess?"

            The use of her former nickname brought a certain twinge to her heart, reviving the memories that had been buried for so long. Shaking away the past brusquely, she queried, "What?" She frowned slightly, unable to pry his hand away. "I can't sing."

            "Yeah, you can," he said, closing his eyes again. "Just try."

            "Why do you want me to sing to you?"

            "It'll help me forget." He opened mahogany slits to look up at her. "Since drinking sure isn' doing the job," he joked lightly.

            She smiled weakly and obligingly hummed the first thing that came to mind. She didn't recognize the origin of the song that came to mind, but surmised it didn't really matter. It sounded like something her mother used to sing to her, in fact…

            "Like the sunrise birds back home…" Van murmured absently to himself. Hitomi felt her face flush slightly. A slight smile tipped the left corner of his mouth in a far too attractive manner. "'Night, Hitomi…"

            She remained by his side as he slipped away, fingertips still resting on his feverish forehead. His grip on her hand loosened and fell away.

            He'd said her name.

            Feeling her heart sink slightly, she made herself as comfortable as she could on the floor beside the bed and wondered whether he would ever be able to consciously say it to her.  
  


*          *          *

            Millerna stirred, awakened by a noise outside her tent. She blinked sleepily, looking towards the entrance curiously.

            "Who's there?"

            Immediately she berated herself for doing the dumbest thing possible in the situation.

            Vainly hoping that no one had noticed, she silently crept out of bed and crawled along the floor towards the flap of the tent, poised to react to any extraneous movement or sound.

            "Millerna."

            She almost screamed as the rough hand covered her mouth, only relaxing when the familiar spicy scent reached her nose.

            Satisfied that she wouldn't make any noise, the intruder moved back away from her.

            Millerna shoved Dryden hard in his arm. "Why did you scare me?!" she hissed harshly, attempting to show her annoyance without waking the others around her. "I nearly had a heart attack!"

            "I know I did the moment I saw you," Dryden winked.

            She rolled her expressive violet eyes dramatically. "That has got to be one of the worst lines ever."

            "No," he admitted with a smirk. "I know some even worse."

            She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You'd best not use those, then." Self-consciously pushing her rumpled gold hair away from her face, she asked irritably, "What do you want at this ungodly hour, anyway?"

            "The pleasure of your company."

            She snorted. "Right. I'm such a pleasure at this time of the morning."

            "It's almost dawn," he pointed out. "Aren't you normally up at this hour?"

            "Oh my gosh!" Her eyes blinked wider. "The breakfast!"

            "Whoa, relax, songbird." Dryden placed a restraining hand on her arm. "Merle's got it covered."

            "Merle…?"

            "Well, who do you think has been feeding the camp while you were tending to Gaddes?"

            "Oh that's right...I forgot. She does a pretty good job."

            "That she does. And so do you." Dryden easily twined a flaxen strand she'd missed behind her ear, making her heart flutter in her chest as her awareness increased with her alertness. "That reminds me. I did have something to tell you, actually."

            "Oh, really?" She tried to keep her voice guarded so that he wouldn't see what he did to her. Though she knew it was probably useless.

            "Yeah." He raised an eyebrow along with his knowing grin. "It was amazing how you helped Gaddes pull through and regain his health in so short a time. You've got the natural skill for healing people."

            She felt a tinge of embarrassment invade her cheeks. "Thanks," she murmured demurely. "I was just-"

            "Doing what you had to, I know. You always do what you 'have to.' But you should go for what you _want_, too. You want a chance to expand your medical knowledge, right?"

            "Uh…yeah, I guess." A vertical crease formed between her eyebrows at his odd line of conversation.

            "I know a physician who needs an apprentice to help him in a town not far from Maia. You most likely would be able to gain enough experience to open up your own practice in a year or so, and give yourself a whole new life. You would be able to do what you really want to do."

            "Really?" Restrained excitement practically radiated from her body. "Do you really think I would be able to do it?"

            "No. I _know you would be able to do it."_

            Her smile dimmed. "But…who would take care of things here at camp? I can't leave them all alone."

            "Merle's doing a mighty fine job of it right now. She seems to enjoy being able to boss people around with some degree of authority," Dryden chuckled. "And as to the medic position, I'm sure you could teach her a few things before you left."

            "When I leave? When will that be?"

            "A few days. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. My next stop will be in Maia, so I would drop you off on the way."

            "Oh. That's a lot to think about in so short a time." She worried her bottom lip with her eyetooth absently. "I'm not sure…"

            "Don't do that, Millerna," he said, his voice suddenly deeper and even more effective.

            Her innocent eyes looked up at him. "Why not?"

            His gaze darkening, he cupped her chin with his rough hand and kissed her lightly, then backed away a breath from her lips. "That's why."

            She just stared blankly at his suddenly serious face, overcome with emotions she couldn't describe. Her lips tingled from the brush of a kiss he had given her, almost as if they wanted even more. She couldn't remember such mind-numbing, intense effects from any of Allen's kisses. In brief afterthought, she remembered that air was indeed necessary to continue living. She inhaled deeply, and then let out an "Oh."

            He leaned backwards a little further, which did nothing to quell the riot of sensations pulsing through her body. His hand remained resting against the hinge of her jaw intimately. "I would apologize, Millerna, but quite frankly, I'm not sorry about that."

            She merely looked into his green-brown eyes, finding herself at a loss to even be offended by him, half-distracted by his warm touch.

            "Actually," he said huskily, not looking away from her, "_that's the real reason I came."_

            Millerna was about to respond, when a sudden horn blared from somewhere in the camp, startling her. "What's that?"

            Dryden was already up and looking out the flap, his face suddenly turning ashen. "It's them."

            She could feel her heart stop as fear overcame every other emotion at the way he said 'them'. "Who?"

            "Zaibach." He turned haunted eyes to her. "They're attacking."

*How's that? You guys happy? Huh?!

*smiles* Naw, I'm not really upset that you guys were flipping out about me taking so long to update…personally, I was flipping out as well… ("DANG IT WHY CAN'T I GET THIS STORY TO COME OUT THE WAY I WANT?!?!")…yeah. But so…yeah. Dunno how the updating time will be going in the near future… School is kinda hell still, but I'm not sure exactly why… it's like a growing trend…keeps getting worse…

Yeah but I'll be working still…don't ever worry that this story will be discontinued…

So just bear with me while I try to keep all my balls juggling in the air, hoping they don't drop…

(If any of you have seen "One Fine Day" I'm sure you recognize that line…*smiles*)

Oh, and I saw 'Love Actually' today…which I personally consider a very great movie…just a shameless promotion for the movie…hehe…

So 'til I next write (which I pray will be soon…)…

-wink*


	17. Blood

*EDITED* *yeah…so…I just fixed up the end to make more sense…thanks Kaurin *smiles* I suspected there was something…just…it didn't sit with me right…and you pointed it out (I suppose. I dunno, I feel better about it now regardless). The only thing I changed was the end scene with Van…so if you wanna read it, be my guest…I don't think it'll really change the plot any though…just makes a little more sense…hopefully…

Woo…next chapter is done!! This one was another hard one to write…for several reasons…such as flow…and content…and time…and I don't suppose I have to explain anything else *smiles* you'll all read it. But yeah.

**Thanks**:

aradow, Night of the Raven, LiLNeKo, hh, Dreamboat Annie, Macky, Hana, Tevrah, SabineballZ, Sara, dreamingofflyingaway, Gemini dragon, Onigiri Momoko, squeekers, Messenger of Doom

Thanks guys hehe

Disclaimer: don't own it

Chapter 17: Blood

            Hitomi was awakened by Van's loud groan.

            "My head…"

            She propped herself up on her elbows, drowsily blinking the sleep from her eyes. "'Mornin', sunshine," she yawned.

            Van's disheveled black hair appeared over the edge of the bed. "What're you doing down there?" he asked in a slightly confused tone, his voice rough from sleep.

            "Well, I _was sleeping, until you so rudely awakened me."_

            He frowned. "Why on the floor?"

            "You were on the bed."

            "Oh." He took in his surroundings. "Right."

            "Feel any better?"

            "Probably not." He grimaced. "My head hurts something awful…"

            "I imagine so."

            He scratched his scalp idly. "Uh…I'm sorry about last night. I mean, whatever I said or…didn't say…or did…or…you know…"

            "I understand, Van." Hitomi stretched her arms out, feeling the muscles loosen between her shoulder blades. "It's fine."

            "Okay." He sat up in the bed, grimacing. "I'm going to go see if Ruhm has anything to ease the pain…"

            "He probably deals with this a lot," she chuckled. "I'm sure he'll have something."

            Van sent a half-hearted glare her way. "If my mind weren't so fuzzy, I'd come up with a scathing retort to that."

            "And I'd just respond in kind." She smirked. "I might even slap you, if I felt so inclined."

            He stumbled out the door, mumbling something about 'impossible wenches,' nearly running into the doorjamb.

            "If you combed your hair once in a while, you'd probably be able to see better," Hitomi called out after him, grinning at the rude gesture he sent her way.

            She rose from her makeshift bed and looked out the window at the beautiful sunny day. The clouds were puffy, but small enough that most of them ceased to pass in front of the sun, rendering the fields continually brightly lit. The tall grasses swayed gently in the breeze, and Hitomi breathed in the clean summer air, absorbing the perfection of the day. She looked off towards the horizon, where she and Van would be traveling the rest of the day. Her forehead creased slightly. Despite the apparent perfection of the day, something didn't seem quite right. Something was definitely…off. But for the life of her, she couldn't fathom what it could be.

            Shrugging, she tugged her fingers through her hair in a quick attempt at grooming, and then exited the room to find out what Ruhm had for breakfast. Her stomach was soundly reminding her that she was starving.

            "Why'd we have to leave so early?" Van whined, squinting from the bright light.

            Hitomi shrugged. "I just…felt like we needed to. Besides, what else would we have done there anyway?"

            His dark bangs hung in front of his eyes, like a shield against the glaring sun. "My head still hurts…" he muttered for the millionth time.

            She sighed. "Well, you shouldn't have been drinking."

            He sent a mild glare her way. "You sound like my mother."

            She laughed. "Well, you _do _need a keeper…"

            His eyebrow rose. "Are you volunteering for the position?"

            A faint heat rose in her cheeks. She smiled shyly and looked away from him. How was she supposed to answer that question? Especially when the first answer that came to mind wasn't the one she wanted to voice…

            "You really want me to perfect the art of slapping?"

            Humor. Yes. That was always a good way out of an uncomfortable situation.

            "Now that you mention it…" The corners of his lips turned upwards in a rueful smile. "I take it back." He must've caught on to the suddenly-strange atmosphere around them. Either that, or he really believed her vague threat.

            _Whatever, she told herself. __Now quit thinking about that nonsense. _

            The heat must be getting to her head.

            Her eyes idly watched Van in front of her. He had shed his shirt a little while ago, claiming it was 'too hot to think properly.' She mentally stuck her tongue out at him. Easy for him to do. She grimaced and rolled up her sleeves a little higher, the best she could do to try and alleviate the warmth of the sun's intense rays. Of course, without the shirt on he _did _distract her from the discomfort of the heat…well, on second thought…he actually made it worse. The muscles rippled across his back as he reached down to tug something out of his boot, and she gulped, quickly averting her eyes. His exceedingly masculine form was far too appealing for her very feminine eyes…

            Yup. The sun was _definitely_ getting to her head…

            As her eyes wandered to the sky in an attempt to see anything but Van, the sun caught her vision, temporarily blinding her.

            The next thing she saw stole her breath away.

            _Allen was calling out battle cries, the men jostled from their merry slumber and shoved into battle. Millerna was ashen, running amongst several already wounded men, blood staining pristine white bandages. Dilandau rushed into the fray with a huge scythe in his grip, swinging it about and slicing off appendages left and right. Folken…Folken was in the shadows somewhere…_

_            But Allen's men continued to fight, desperately and hopelessly, knowing they were both outmanned and outmatched…_

            "Are you alright?"

            She blinked, focusing on the shirtless Van, who somehow didn't faze her like he had a few moments before. "What?"

            "You look really pale." His brow drew together in concern. "Do you need something to drink? Are you sick?"

            "No, I…" She held her head in her hands. "It's just…"

            _A man cried out as a sword pierced his chest, sending rivers of blood soaking into his shirt._

            Her hand trembled.

            "I…"

            _Folken's__ dark eyes looked to the distance. "Only you can stop them."_

Her eyes widened. "I have to go," she breathed.

            "What?"

            Her face set in determination. "They attacked Allen's camp. I'm the only one that can save them."

            "What?!"

            "Are you deaf, Van?! Let's go!" She kicked her horse into a gallop, uncaring whether Van decided to follow her.

            _"The power of your wishes is in this pendant." The gnarled old woman held it out, a kindly light in her eyes. "You've never known your true home, Hitomi. But this pendant is your history. It is proof of your heritage. Your heritage from…"_

            The glare from the sun accosted her eyes, distracting her.

            She tried to retrace the memory. Where? Where was she from? She was so close to knowing…

            But for some reason, the rest of the memory was completely blank.

*          *          *

            Allen twined his hair back ruthlessly into a ponytail, his bangs nevertheless falling back into his face. Cursing under his breath, he swore that if he made it out of the battle alive, he would get rid of the impractical mane he'd worn since he was young.

            "Allen!"

            His hard eyes glanced to Dryden running towards him. "There's nothing you can do in the battle," he stated, having guessed his friend's intent. "You'll be of most use caring for the wounded and guarding the camp itself."

            Dryden helplessly looked towards the warriors readying for battle. Allen's assumption was obviously correct. "I wish I could be of more help," he said honestly, turning to meet Allen's expressionless blue eyes.

            The knight clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll be enough help. Do what you're best at. And if there's anything else I should know about Zaibach, it'd be nice to know _now,_ and to hell with payments."

            The merchant somehow found it within himself to grin. "Zaibach has a habit of attacking when least expected."

            Allen's lips twitched. "That's good to know," he said dryly. Boring his cerulean eyes into Dryden's warm ones, he gruffly added, "Protect Millerna. Take care of her. No matter what happens to me."

            Surprise flashed over Dryden's face for a moment, but melted into manly acknowledgment at Allen's solemn nod.

            "Goodbye, my friend."

            Allen strode off purposefully towards the archery field, feeling as if he was walking towards his very death.

*          *          *

            "Princess, will you slow down?!"

            Hitomi glanced back, feeling totally helpless. "They're all going to die," she murmured worriedly to herself.

            Van pulled up beside her, a confused expression covering his face. "Tell me what's wrong."

            Hitomi closed her eyes briefly. "They're attacking," she said, her voice sounding far away to her ears. "Allen's camp is under siege by a force too numerous for them to defeat. Folken…Folken is in charge…"

            Van's face darkened at his brother's name.

            "I don't know where he is… Dilandau's in the battlefield, and Gaddes…" Her eyes flashed open. "Gaddes!" She almost went into hysterics at the memory of the blood that had covered him from head to toe.

            "What?" He took hold of her shoulders and shook her roughly. "Pull yourself together! You saw all this in a vision?"

            She bit her lip, focusing on Van's eyes as her last link to sanity. "Y-yes…"

            "A vision of the future? Then it's not set in stone. We might be able to warn them."

            A brief clash of battle rang in her ears, as if she were on the battlefield herself. "No, I think it's too late for that."

            "Then…it was the present?"

            "No…I…I don't know!" Hitomi could taste the blood in her mouth from where she had bit down too hard on her lip. "I don't know what it all means… All I know is there's a battle and Gaddes may die, and that I'm the only one who can stop it all!"

            He frowned. "Why you?"

            "Because of where I'm from…"

            "Maia?"

            "No… I don't know where. But…I was adopted… And because of where I was from…" She let out a harsh sound of frustration. "I can't remember! It's like there's something blocking me from remembering everything!"

            Van studied her for a second, and then nodded. "We have to get there as quickly as possible, then."

            She felt relief rush over her from his easy acquiescence. She nodded, and almost jumped when Van pulled her close to him.

            "Air travel is quickest," he murmured in her ear.

            A chill raced through her spine at the warmth of his breath on her face. She felt her stomach drop as they ascended upward in a flurry of feathers. She seized his biceps tightly with her hands, shutting her eyes tensely.

            "What about…the horses?" she ground out, her voice tight.

            "They know the way home," he assured her, his voice rumbling against her soothingly. "It's easier if you wrap your arms around me rather than trying to leave your finger impressions in my arms, by the way."

            Obligingly, she circled her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. She felt his own arms tighten against her back, holding her to him like bands of steel. It was almost suffocating to be so close to him, momentarily distracting her from the emptiness within her gut. He smelled like earth…wind… and for the first time, she allowed herself to fully relax in his presence. Letting out a pent-up breath, she could sense the tension draining out of her, if just for the moment.

            "You _can open your eyes."_

            She shook her head. "I think I'd rather not."

            "Why? Are you scared?"

            "No!" She raised her head defiantly. "I just…don't want to."

            He smirked. "You're scared."

            "No, I'm not!"

            "Then prove it."

            She spat the hair that was blowing riotously around her face out of her mouth. "Fine." Hitomi glanced down defiantly, and felt her heart drop. She hadn't realized they'd flown so high. Unconsciously, her muscles tightened around his neck. Her legs kicked out, bumping against the sword still hanging from his belt.

            "I won't drop you," he reassured her, his voice losing the mocking tone he usually presented to her.

            Her wide eyes watched the green countryside rushing beneath of her, barely making out the few people milling about the various villages that appeared to be children's toys.

            "We're high," she managed insufficiently.

            He chuckled, the sound reverberating against the cheek she held to his neck. "Don't be scared, Princess." For one of the few times she could remember, he had spoken her nickname with endearment rather than mockery, which made her heart skip a much-needed beat. "I'll never let you go."

*          *          *

            He could almost feel his sword slicing through his opponent's soft belly, his innards gushing out in a grotesque pool of thick red blood.

            Gaddes opened his eyes, finding his hands gripping the edge of the bed so hard his knuckles were white.

            He couldn't stay here. He couldn't take feeling helpless, not when he had the ability to do something.

            Stiffly, he arose from the bed, finding his chest armor and buckling it around himself, ignoring the large dent in the middle of it. He was hanging is sword from his belt when Millerna burst in, breathing heavily.

            "We need more bandages," she gasped, rummaging through a pile of miscellaneous objects. Pulling out a few clean shirts, she nodded in triumph. "These'll do." She glanced over to Gaddes for a moment, and then did a double-take. "What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

            "I'm going to defend my men."

            "What?! You most certainly are not!"

            Gaddes' dark eyes were totally serious. "Millerna, you yourself are well aware of how many invalids we have already. I can't allow myself to make use of the supplies my men need more. Besides, I can't sit idle while my men are out dying on the battlefield."

            "But your leg-"

            "Is fine. I've enough mobility." His mouth tipped in a humorless smile. "You won't be able to stop me, you know."

            Millerna stared him down for a moment, no doubt assessing the fact that he kept the weight off of his wounded leg. But Gaddes was certain that the leg wouldn't hinder him in the least. Not when he had such an imperative prerogative before him.

            She nodded briskly, only saying, "Don't be reckless."

            He gripped his sword sturdily in his strong hand, relieved that he wouldn't have to argue with her. "I can't make promises," he admitted steadily. "Only that I won't give up."

*          *          *

            "Over there!"

            Van grimaced. "You don't have to screech so close to my ear!"

            "Oh," Hitomi flushed slightly, feeling her heart pounding in her ears at their proximity to the battle. "Sorry."

            He merely nodded, his hair brushing against the top of her head. "Ready?"

            She bit her lip and ducked her head, burrowing into him in an effort to reinforce her grip. Her arms were aching intensely. "Go ahead," she said, her voice muffled by his chest.

            In response, she felt the wind buffeting her like it never had before as their speed increased. Van was diving slightly, evoking the stomach-curling rush of falling within her. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she desperately prayed that somehow, someway, they would make it in time.

*          *          *

            Folken turned away from the window, seeing the battle within his mind. Dilandau had driven the men in recklessly, as Folken had suspected, but the numbers were such that they continued to retain the upper hand.

            He could see the field full of blood, could feel the sorrow radiating off of those who had lost their loved ones. It was almost unbearable. But that was only if one allowed himself to _feel_.

            He tried to shunt away any possibility of remorse. This was for the greatest good, wasn't it? The good of all of Gaia.

            It was the only way. He could think of no other way to be able to accomplish what needed to be done. Sacrifices had to be made, in order for the ideal future to be brought to pass.

            His red eyes closed as his mind was reminded of that last command he'd been given.

_            "You must kill the Dragon."_

*          *          *

            Gaddes breathed deep. He was back in his ideal milieu. The days of lying idle, the weeks of waiting patiently, all narrowed down to this.

            All he could see was the enemy looming above him; the soft exposed abdomen he drove his sword into; the life gushing out of the man in a torrent of red liquid. He could feel the fresh blood stain his cheek, and yet he felt no disgust and no triumph. Only the cold satisfaction of living for just a little longer. The pain that flared in his leg splintered his concentration, making him wince and close his eyes for only a half second in an attempt to battle against the pain.

            But it was enough.

            Gaddes felt a huge blow against the back of his head, could feel the warmth of his own blood trickling down his face and neck. His vision blurred, the blood stinging his eyes and pouring a metallic taste in his mouth. He toppled to the ground, barely registering the impact of his body against the dusty soil.

            Sadness and regret assaulted what little he had left of his consciousness. He'd failed…at long last, he had lost the battle. His mind vaguely recollected his promise to Hitomi right before she left that he would stay safe.

            It was the very last thing he remembered.

*          *          *

            Van felt Hitomi stiffen in his arms and draw a harsh breath. He looked down at her. It wasn't his flying – they'd been halfway-descending for a while now. He could barely hear her whisper, and only caught the very last word. "-Gaddes!"

            Warm tears moistened the side of his neck.

            "What is it?" he asked, already calculating the odds of what it could be. Chances were she was having another of her visions again, which he could never understand, but he ultimately had determined it wasn't intended for him to comprehend.

            "Gaddes is dead!" she said hoarsely. "He was hit on the head-"

            "You _know he's dead?" Van interrupted, trying to instill some sense of hope and rational within her. He couldn't bear to see her broken-hearted again in so short a time span._

            He could feel Hitomi calm slightly. "He…looked it…" she asserted weakly.

            He frowned. "That doesn't mean he _is_. Can you find him?"

            She turned her head to look at the roiling mass of people on the battlefield. "How?" she asked despondently.

            "Your pendant," he prodded, shifting her a little in his arms. She wasn't heavy and he was quite strong, but her slight weight had begun to gradually multiply as time had passed.

            "I can't reach it because I'm holding on…"

            He grunted, in his mind seeing no other way. Pressing her as tight as possible to his chest with one arm, he released the other and quickly scooped up her legs so that he was now cradling her in his embrace. He felt the tension in his chest dissipate slightly as the pressure of her body eased off of his. He heard her gasp in surprise, the nails of one hand digging sharply into his back.

            She reluctantly let go of her grip on his neck, fully entrusting herself to his power. Despite the tenseness of the situation and the danger all around, Van felt something warm fill him at her surrender to his strength. Trying his best to will it away, he pumped harder with his wings, propelling them closer to the battlefield. The cries of the men fighting carried on the thin air, barely reaching his ears.

            Hitomi's eyes were shut serenely, the pendant held in front of her like a shield. He felt her stiffen a second before her eyes flashed open.

            "At the edge of the field!" She pointed.

            He dove sharply in the direction she'd given him, praying for her sake that Gaddes would not die.

            They descended in a cloud of feathers, Van pulling out his sword the instant his feet touched the ground, defending Hitomi as she rushed to Gaddes side. Fear poisoned her heart, and hot tears threatened her eyes once again. She stubbornly held them back, concentrating only on Gaddes. Dropping beside him in a crouch, she gently raised his head, feeling the warmth of his blood on her fingertips. His eyes were closed, his face peaceful. She felt her throat close up. So it was true…

            In one final attempt, she held two fingers to his throat in vain hope that perhaps she was wrong. Her heartbeat accelerated as she felt a faint thready pulse in his neck. _He's alive!_ She tried to examine his head wound through the massive amounts of blood that congealed on his dark hair, but her shaking hands wouldn't allow her to properly determine the extent of damage. All she knew was that Gaddes was still alive. It was enough.

            "Van, we have to get him back to camp!" Hitomi turned in time to see Van pull his blood-stained sword out of a man's chest. He turned, his eyes frighteningly cold, his face hard and so much older than a few moments ago.

            "He's alive?" His impassive voice chilled her to the bone.

            "Barely." Hitomi cradled his head in her lap, heedless of the redness that seeped into her clothes.

            Van nodded, striding over to lift Gaddes as best he could.

            Hitomi helped Van position the fallen soldier in such a way as to not injure him further. "Just go, I'll find my way back."

            The dark-haired warrior nodded solemnly, and flew away.

            Hitomi was suddenly pushed into the thick of the battle by all the jostling bodies surrounding her. She felt so small among all the large soldiers fighting for their lives. Shrinking even more, she tried to maneuver her way through the mass of men around her. She could not travel anywhere without seeing some appendage decapitated or some man slain. The gore was unbearable. Hitomi could feel herself begin to retch, but tried her hardest to hold it in. Stumbling over a leg, she fell to the ground and found herself face-to-face with the lifeless eyes of one of Allen's men, staring up at her with glassy corneas, an expression of pain and shock etched forever into his face, blood streaking across his face and filling the field around him. Hitomi was sick to her stomach. It was too much…she couldn't take much more…

            She lost track of how long she had been within the battle, marveling that somehow no one had managed to kill her, too. She tried to brush away some blood that coated her arm, but was startled to find that it refused to go away. A deep gash was in her forearm. Apparently someone had managed to nick her as she was trying to escape. But why hadn't they actually killed her?

            Abruptly, she was grabbed from behind by two strong arms and lifted away. She began to kick and scream, until she heard the man say "Why are you still here?"

            "Van…" She swallowed hard, gripping the arms that were wrapped around her waist. "I…I got lost…"

            She could sense him shake his head. "You should never have had to see any of that," he said in a dark voice.

            "I-is this what you were talking about…when you said you've seen things…"

            "Yes."

            She shuddered. "I'm sorry, Van. No one should have to see that."

            They arrived to find the camp in a state of total chaos. Merle and Dryden were rushing around, trying to stem bleeding quickly and efficiently so that they could reach the most amount of patients as possible. A man was brought in, his arm missing and a deep gash in his forehead. Merle shook her head sadly. "He won't make it," she said honestly to the bearer of the soldier. "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. We have to concentrate on those we know can be saved."

            Hitomi felt her mouth drop. Suffering just never seemed to leave her. All around her, the wounded moaned like they were in the pits of Hades. It was like being in Hell.

            Merle looked up at the new visitors. "Van! You're back! Hitomi!" She rushed up to give each a brief hug before going back to her work. "I'm sorry, I can't talk long."

            "I understand," Van said. "Where's Gaddes?"

            "Millerna's working with him," Merle said quietly. She sighed, looking off towards where the fallen soldier had been laid. "I hate turning away people, but sometimes I know there's nothing we can do," she explained brokenly. "We have to save as many people as we can…"

            Hitomi patted her shoulder awkwardly. "You're doing wonderful, Merle. Far better than I ever could."

            Merle's deep blue eyes were full of a sadness that ran deep within her soul. "I only wish I could do more." She ducked her head abruptly, hiding her eyes from Hitomi's perusal. "Millerna's probably waiting for you two."

            Van nodded briskly, and dragged Hitomi off to the far tent.

            Walking in, she saw Millerna finishing a stitch on Gaddes' head. She let out a heavy breath, her blond hair hanging about her face in rushed disarray. "He has a chance," she said tiredly. "He's lost a lot of blood, but there's still the chance he might live. First he has to come out of his coma." She sat back on her haunches, turning exhausted violet eyes to the two. "It's a waiting game now."

            Hitomi kneeled beside Gaddes, resting her fingertips on his brow. He didn't move. Her heart pounded dully in her ears as she watched yet another person close to her die. _No…Millerna said there's hope. He still has a chance. He's got to be able to make it through. She nodded to herself. Gaddes was strong. Of course he could pull through. Miracles still happen._

            A strong hand was placed on her shoulder, and she closed her eyes, knowing it was Van without looking. Her other hand snaked up to grip his, drawing on his strength and stability to keep her grounded. Gaddes would make it. Yes. He had to.

            With her eyes closed, various images flashed through her mind. The dimple in his left cheek that had winked out each time Gaddes had smiled; Allen helping her through the rough nights, with his comforting, gentle blue eyes; Millerna watching after her like an older sister; Merle instigating but always loyal. And through it all were Van's eyes, eyes that when they were warm could melt her heart with a single glance. The eyes in her mind reddened, and she frowned in confusion. _What…_

_            Folken stood at the window, idly watching…something._

Hitomi felt anger inexplicably bubbling up in her chest at the image. Folken…it was all _Folken's fault…if it weren't for him…Gaddes wouldn't be in this predicament…they wouldn't be having this battle…and Van would never have hurt like he had._

            Suddenly, it was all so clear.

            She opened her eyes, feeling a new purpose within her heart. Standing quickly, she ignored the openly surprised stares Van and Millerna sent her. "I need some time alone," she said shortly. They nodded in sympathy, and she exited the tent, a new emotion burning within her heart. The desire for revenge.

            _"The power of your wishes is in this pendant."_

            She didn't understand why, or where she was from, but it didn't matter.

            The girl gripped the pink pendant tightly within her hand, sending one phrase up at the stars.

            "I wish I could be where Folken is."

*          *          *

            The pale-haired man could feel the anguish of the soldiers in battle, could feel the kinship with those who were killing for the greatest good. He knew she was coming. He had sensed the sudden rise of emotions, could feel the separation she had unwittingly placed between herself and the Dragon.

            He turned to behold a slight girl standing before him with fire in her eyes.

            "You bastard," she said coldly.

            He merely raised an eyebrow.

            "It's all your fault!"

            "Me? What did I do?"

            "You're the one that caused this…this…" She bit her lip, her eyes haunted by what she had seen.

            "Can't you see? It's for the greater good of Gaia. This is how it has to be."

            "_No!! Can't __you see that all you've accomplished is to bring pain to so many people?! To bring death to lands where there should never have been anything but peace?"_

            "Emperor Dornkirk-"

            "Has lied to you from the very beginning!! Can't you see it, Folken? Can't you see how he just continues to absorb more and more power, never relinquishing any of it back to the people? Can't you see how peaceful some places were before Zaibach's soldiers stormed in and destroyed everything? Can't you see that _your emperor is the cause of the chaos he pretends to alleviate?!"_

            Folken's straight mouth turned down in a frown. "You know nothing of the emperor."

            "Neither do you! How could you do it?"

            "Do what?"

            Tears glistened in her eyes. "How could you do that to Van?" she asked hoarsely. "How could you kill off your family without remorse, knowing that it would slowly kill him on the inside? How could you burn down your kingdom, knowing that Van would be left to forever wander, never to have a home? How could you?!"

            Something shifted in his gaze. "You don't understand, Hitomi."

            "Then make me!"

*          *          *

            Van positively itched to get into the thick of the battle and start killing the soldiers that had destroyed both his homeland and Hitomi's. He finished tying a torn shirt around the gash that tore down the man's arm, jerking the knot slightly. It was complete torture to be held back away from the fighting.

            But Millerna has said they needed him more at the camp, both for protection and for help. Van had never really done much healing work before, but being a warrior who was accustomed to flesh wounds, he knew plenty of ways to effectively staunch blood flow. But the numbers of soldiers returning wounded seemed to reach a standstill. He surmised dourly that this must be because more were getting killed than injured on the battlefield by now. But regardless of the numbers, he could easily see that they were still short of hands, and did the best he could at what he could. It was just as well that Millerna had persuaded him to stay. Van didn't want to go too far from camp anyway…for Hitomi's sake.

            _Hitomi__…_

            Where was she, anyway? It wasn't like her to not pitch in and help…no matter how sad or upset she was. He frowned, catching the arm of the frazzled blond that swept by him.

            "Where's Hitomi?"

            Millerna tiredly lifted her eyes to his. "What?"

            "She's been gone way too long."

            She shrugged. "Maybe she fell asleep somewhere."

            "No…she wouldn't." Van thought heavily, debating what she could possibly be doing. She might be crying, which would mean he should probably go and comfort her, even though he never knew what to do with a crying female. Or maybe she was sleeping, as Millerna had suggested, overcome by the day's events. But neither of these seemed to fit. Hitomi wasn't weak, he knew that for a fact…

            He vaguely recalled her saying that she was the only one who could save them all…

            He drew a sharp intake of breath. No… She couldn't have…

            Shaking his head, he sprinted to the very edge of camp, heedless to Millerna's questions.

            It would be just like her.

*          *          *

            "You have more power than you realize, Hitomi."

            She crossed her arms. "Don't try and flatter me, Folken. Don't give me any bullshit about 'power'."

            "It's true." His steady reddish eyes gazed at her impassively. "You don't know where you're from, do you?"

            "Maia," she said, feeling a certain unsteadiness within herself. She was adopted as a Maian, yes, but before that…

            "That's not where you were born."

            Her eyes chilled at his voicing of her thoughts. "Just tell me. Don't lead me in circles."

            "Did you ever hear the old prophecy? _'From the sky an angel will descend to save the world from the evil plaguing its lands.'_"

            "So? It's not like _I _can fly."

            "You're taking the prophecy too literally. 'From the sky', Hitomi. You know what's in the sky, don't you?"

            A faint suspicion crept into her mind, and her heart caught in her throat. _No… that was impossible. There was no way she was from…_

            Folken's smile was cold. "The Mystic Moon."

*So theoretically this story will be done in three more chapters…if all goes according to plan… *smiles* In case you guys want something to look forward to…

The immediate next days will be hell :P – aren't they all it seems – but yeah, so we'll see how much I manage to get out…

ALSO, I have been plagued with ideas for another fanfic that I'm not gonna start until I'm done with this one…I get the sneaking suspicion that if I don't finish this one now, I'll get taken away with the other fanfic. Anyway, it's gonna be AU (now that I finally know what it means) and they're in high school…but you know my style, and chances are it ain't gonna be the typical teenage angst stuff, if ya know what I mean. *wink* Or at least, I'll be trying my hardest not to let it get to that…it'll be funny though. At least…I imagine it'll be funny… It will be called "Counterpoint." That probably doesn't make too much sense right now, but just wait…it will…trust me…

Hehe well anyways, thanks for sticking with me guys.

Til the next chapter-

-wink*


	18. Heartbeat

Guys I am SOO INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR TAKING AN INTERMIDIBLE AMOUNT OF TIME TO WRITE THIS ONE!!! Wow, I don't know what happened… a combination of a lot of things: laziness, major writer's block, holidays, more laziness, boys (:P they always screw you over don't they? :) hehe…)…. Then I lost track of what I was doing… BUT IT'S HERE. Finally.

Since I haven't written in so long, I haven't looked back at who wrote what reviews, so I'm not gonna list names. But you know who you are, and I so appreciate your reviews on the story!! (Especially those of you who complained about the fact that I haven't written for like two months… good job kicking my butt into gear on this)

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

*last chapter*

            _"Did you ever hear the old prophecy? 'From the sky an angel will descend to save the world from the evil plaguing its lands.'"_

            _"So? It's not like I __can fly."_

            "_You're taking the prophecy too literally. 'From the sky', Hitomi. You know what's in the sky, don't you?"_

_            A faint suspicion crept into her mind, and her heart caught in her throat._ No… that was impossible. There was no way she was from…

            _Folken's__ smile was cold. "The Mystic Moon."_

Chapter 18: Heartbeat

            Hitomi could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears. "What?"

            "Is it really that big of a shock to you _now_, after all you've been through? Or do you just not believe me?"

            "No, I…believe you." Hitomi frowned, not wanting to concede to anything Folken said, but feeling the truth within her gut. _That's_ what had been missing. That explained all the strange things she'd been able to do, all the visions that had been manifesting themselves to her. She was different because she was from the _Mystic Moon_.

            _"…this pendant is your history. It is proof of your heritage. Your heritage from the Mystic Moon. A place of mystery and wonder. It has been said that in the Mystic Moon, sorcerers have lived and seeresses have conquered. Gaia has never birthed one such as yourself, and your place on this planet is divinely chosen. You have a mission that no one can perform, and no one can vanquish."_

            "You remember." His dark voice broke into her thoughts, and she looked up to see a grim smile curve his solemn lips. "The final barrier is removed."

            "Barrier?"

            "Your amnesia wasn't from natural causes, Hitomi. The Sorcerers of Zaibach have talents in many areas."

            As understanding dawned, her eyes narrowed. "You mean it's _your fault that I was tormented for so long with memories that made no sense to me?" Her voice raised in pitch as her fists clenched at her sides._

            Folken noted her action with a lifted eyebrow. "It was necessary."

            "Necessary?!"

            "It's brought you here, hasn't it?"

            "And why do I need to be here?"

            "It is enough that you are here."

            She frowned heavily. "Why is it enough?"

            Folken's steady gaze unnerved her. "All your questions will be answered in time."

            "Answer me _this, then," she growled. "Why did you turn your back on your country and your family?"_

            His eyes closed in solemn agreement. "Emperor Dornkirk first came to visit the palace as an aid of great esteem from the country of Asturia. He and I had long conversations in the garden at midnight concerning the state of the world. He told me his grand vision for a bright future for Gaia. His philosophies were amazing, stunning even, and I couldn't help but be sucked in. He oftentimes told me I had the power, the ability, to make that future possible. And I knew within my heart that I was truly called to bring about this vision of the future.

            "The reason we burned Fanelia was to give the peasants the freedom they so direly craved in the quickest way possible. I cannot tell you how it broke my heart to see my family reduced to-"

            Hitomi's rude snort interrupted him.

            His cold gaze squelched her no doubt sarcastic reply. "Do not make a mockery of me, Hitomi. That would be the pinnacle of foolishness."

            "And I'm sure coming here wasn't," she shrugged. "I've already been about as stupid as I can possibly be. Now I might as well risk everything, right?"

            "There is much to risk for you."

            "Not really."

            An eyebrow quirked humorlessly. "You seem very sure of that."

            "That's because I am. Because of _you_. Your people have made my life a living _hell_, and I'll damn sure be glad to get out of it."

            "Will you really?"

            Her eyebrows lowered. "Will you quit questioning me in that bizarre tone?! It's really getting annoying, and _yes_, I am sure of _everything _I say and I don't need you to try and point out fallacies in my arguments that I know are nonexistent. I don't need you to plant any more doubts in my head."

            He nodded silently, and turned to the window again. "You are a formidable foe," he murmured.

            "Tell me about my past."

            His gaze shifted over towards her. "Don't you remember?"

            "No, I mean…_why_ I came here. How it happened."

            "No one is really certain. It is a decision of fate that can only be truly understood by the end of her purpose."

            "So, therefore, I must fulfill my purpose."

            He heard the cool tone of certainty in her voice. "You think you must kill me?"

            "Isn't that the only way to fix everything? I mean, I've apparently got some preordained mission set out for me. I've been thrust – unwillingly, mind you – squarely into the middle of this insanity, and somehow I've become a key component to everything. What other purpose than this? With you gone, chaos will ensue and Dornkirk will lose his hold over his men. Then we can rebel and return to things as they should be."

            "You are very naïve, Hitomi."

            "That may be, but at least I'm not lying to myself about why I'm doing what I'm doing."

            "In your determination to kill me, have you even thought of Van?"

            A shadow fell over her eyes, and she faltered for a moment. "He still loves you," she whispered. "I know that. But there's no other alternative. If I lose him because of what I do, then I lose him for the good of Gaia."

            Folken bowed his head. "We are not so different, you and I."

            "What do you mean?" She almost felt offended at being compared in any small way to this murderer and betrayer.

            "'For the good of Gaia.' I killed my family and betrayed my country; you are willing to kill your lover's-"

            "He's not my-"

            "-only remaining family member and risk your own life, effectively breaking his heart twice, if it would merely result in peace and harmony on this world."

            She opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced when the full meaning of his words hit her. "Wait," she protested, "what do you mean, 'break his heart twice'? If you're gone, yeah he's lost his family, but he's also lost his family's killer. He'd understand. And if he lost me, it's not like he's losing much."

            "It's no wonder I've sensed so much turmoil within his heart," the pale-haired man mused thoughtfully to himself. "You really have no idea."

            "No idea of – " She cut herself off, a disbelieving look on her face. "You must be insane. What in the name of heaven makes you think he even considers me more than a friend in _any _way?"

            Both of Folken's eyebrows rose. "What makes you think he doesn't?"

            She kept herself from answering his question. "Why are we even discussing this? Does this issue have any pertinence to the problem at hand now?"

            "It might."

            She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You never did answer my other questions. Is it time yet?"

            "Which one would you like answered most?" he asked sarcastically.

            Her eyes cooled noticeably. "Why is it important that I be here at this moment?"

            "My last command."

            "Ah." Her eyebrows rose. "And that is…?"

            "I was commanded to kill Van."

            She staunchly ignored the way her heart jumped at his nonchalant words. Schooling her voice to remain neutral, she said, "Well, I don't see why I would have to be here for that, unless to stop you from killing him. Of course, then that defeats your purpose, and therefore me being here is important for the only one other reason I can think of. But I have to warn you, there's no way he'd be looking for me. That's if he noticed I was gone at all."

            "He's never gone after you?"

            She blinked, thrown off-stride. He _had_, hadn't he? The time after she saw Allen and Millerna…the time she ran from the dance… She couldn't even remember the rest. But he _would. Wouldn't he? All of Folken's earlier insinuations and statements raced to the forefront of her consciousness once more._

            He must've easily seen the turmoil on her face. Folken smiled an eerily…_soothing_ smile. "It all makes sense as I see it now," he murmured. "I see how fate intended for things to be."

*          *          *

            Van pumped his wings furiously, tears forming at the corners of his eyes from the pressure of the wind against his face. His bangs slapped against his forehead mercilessly, occasionally getting into his eyes.

            Of _course Hitomi would go off to save everyone else! Of _course _she would be willing to sacrifice everything just to stop the war! She thought no one would care, that her future was bleak, that no one's life would be terribly altered by her disappearance._

            He felt his heart waver in his chest in clear denial of that statement.

            Pursing his lips determinedly, he strained to go faster in the tumultuous skies.

            Millerna had insisted she couldn't have gone very far, but in his gut he somehow knew she had. He didn't know how she would've been able to go so far, but that was irrelevant to him. All that mattered was finding her.

            He couldn't lose her.

            Van closed his eyes, picturing the pink stone of the pendant within his mind. _Hitomi_, he thought intensely, _help me find Hitomi…_

*          *          *

            She felt her pendant warm against her collarbone, and when she looked down she was startled to find it glowing.

            "What…?"

            "Someone is tapping into your power."

            Hitomi glanced up, confused. "How?"

            "It can be done when one has formed a close emotional bond with the bearer of the power."

            But…the only person that knew about her pendant was…

            _Van._

            _'A close emotional bond'… Had they really gotten _that _close? Had she been fooling herself all along?_

            She'd assumed they'd made some sort of bond, of course. But were they close? He never seemed to give her the time of day…he was always gruff and impatient and overall disagreeable, even when they decided to be friends. There were only a few anomalies to his actions, but those could be disregarded as instantaneous insanity.

            Though she did remember the way her stomach had squelched when he had spoken her nickname with kindness…but she'd attributed it to the madness of the moment. Perhaps she was making more of this than she should be… Maybe Folken was tricking her in an attempt to somehow accomplish his own ends… Maybe…

            Maybe she was in deeper than she ever wanted to be.

            She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the buzz of confused thoughts that infected her brain. Van was coming…and that meant…

            She turned her focus back to the imposing man before her. "You can't kill him," she stated resolutely. "I won't let you."

            "Why not? He doesn't have a place in the world anymore other than an assassin-for-hire. Why shouldn't I kill him?"

            "Because I-" She stopped abruptly. "Well, I mean…" She bit her lip indecisively. Her heart was suddenly foiling all of her attempts to be level-headed and logical.

            He turned away from her fully, concealing his face from her view. "You realize the depths of your feelings, I see."

            She closed her eyes, probing her mind, hearing Van's voice fill her consciousness.

            _"Someday, someone will surprise you."_

_            "I protect what's mine."_

_            "You're beautiful, even more so…because the scar reminds me that I could've lost you."_

_            "I'll never let you go."_

She swallowed hard.

            She really _was in too deep._

*          *          *

            Van saw the faint outline of a great fortress just on the horizon and felt anticipation leap within his chest. That's where she was; he was sure of it. It was almost like he could feel her there…

            All of a sudden the wind literally slapped him aside with brutal savagery, making it impossible for him to fly in a straight line. _Folken__! his mind screamed. He was trying to keep Van from finding Hitomi! Feeling the bitter taste of betrayal again, his face hardened to stone. Where had the brother he'd loved gone? Forever lost in the ashes of Fanelia…_

*          *          *

            Allen slashed upward, decapitating a man's arm from his body, hearing the piercing scream echo harshly within his brain. Emotionally distancing himself from the carnage he'd wreaked, he ducked underneath another man's blade and swung upwards in a parry. He looked upwards into his enemy's gaze.

            Ice met fire.

            "So, it's Allen Schezar, the swordsman rumored to be taught by Balgus himself?"

            Allen's eyes flattened. "Dilandau." He could feel the rage building in his chest for the first time during the battle. He'd been able to view all of his opponents as faceless enemies, but what Dilandau had done to his men… "Still Folken's pet, I see."

            Dilandau's eyes burned dangerously. "I answer to _no one unless I so choose," he seethed._

            A wry, knowing grin tipped Allen's mouth. "Or unless it's chosen for you."

            His eyes narrowed. "You're just asking for me to scalp you of that pretty hair, Schezar."

            "Go ahead. I'll probably be the better off for it anyway."

            He jerked his large sword out of the lock they had both been in and held it before his face. The sunlight glinted off of it, highlighting the scar that raked down his cheek and along his chin.

            "Looks like Folken's bitch isn't as perfect as he used to be, eh?"

            With a scream of feral rage, Dilandau charged Allen with his sword. Allen easily blocked it, and swung around to return the attack. The clang of the swords resounded in both men's minds as they tuned out the rest of the world for this one moment in time, this one battle of wills. 

            Allen could not see beyond Dilandau's sword, could not think beyond his next attack or parry. The sweat dripped down his forehead, stinging his eyes. He could feel blood from a sword that had found its mark – from a former or the current encounter, he couldn't remember – slowly seeping into his shirt and slicking his skin. The pounding of his heartbeat filled his ears; his labored breathing made his chest ache. But he couldn't give up…

            A thrust connected, and Dilandau howled in pain as he backed off, clutching his arm to his side, which was suddenly stained as crimson as his eyes.

            Allen stood uncertainly, though for what reason he couldn't tell, wondering whether he should finish off his opponent now while he was weakened by the shock. But something held him back.

            Dilandau stubbornly attempted to lift his sword and swing it with one hand, but Allen's quick reflexes knocked the sword from his grasp and jarred his mobile hand so that it was useless. The albino dropped to his knees before Allen, bowing his silver head from the mental and physical anguish of knowing that he was totally defenseless. "Kill me already, you bastard," he muttered through clenched teeth. "Don't toy with me!"

            Allen looked down at his foe, wondering what was stopping him. Was it pity? Pity for this bloodthirsty, foul excuse for a human?

            Dilandau glared up at him tauntingly. "So you really _are a pansy underneath all that hair, I see. Don't you remember what I did to your men?" He grinned evilly as Allen frowned slightly. "Remember Rio? He fought against us well, I guess. But it was way too easy to take him down. A simple shot in the gut, and he couldn't do anything else against us. One of my men slit his throat before I could say anything. Both are them are dead now," he said easily. "But Maes…" his eyes almost took on a dreamy look, "I remember Maes… We didn't let him off nearly as easily. Gaddes managed to escape in the confusion, but we had Maes incapacitated and still alive. First, we made sure we cut his tongue out. Preliminaries, you understand. We slowly sawed each of his legs off, but unfortunately he drowned in his own blood before we could finish our fun." His face looked slightly regretful. "I neglected to make sure that the blood from his tongue-laceration could be properly disposed of…"_

            Allen felt the anger close his throat up, could feel the heat of his anger setting his limbs vibrating with fury. His cold blue eyes looked down at the man at his feet, and he clenched his teeth. "You sick bastard," he muttered, and promptly swung his sword through Dilandau's neck, silencing his voice forever.

*          *          *

            "Why not kill _me_? Aren't I the one who keeps destroying your plans?"

            She saw Folken's broad shoulders rise in a barely perceptible shrug. "You're important to the future of Gaia, Hitomi. Dornkirk still has use for _you."_

            Her eyes widened. "What? Is that why you brought me here?" She could feel her anger increase. "So that you could deliver me to your master like a faithful _dog_?!"

            Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he was giving her that slight smirk. "You're the one who brought yourself here."

            She couldn't think of a reply to that, annoyed because it was true. She saw Folken jerk slightly out of the blue. "What?"

            "Nothing," he said, more guarded than ever.

            She frowned. Had he seen something? Her fingers crept up to her pendant, wondering if she might be able to find out what had him troubled so. Closing her eyes, her mind traveled along the same path she'd been taking more and more often. Suddenly, a vision flashed before her with brutal intensity.

            "Dilandau is dead?"

            Folken half-turned, looking out of the corner of his eye at her. "How do you know?"

            "Is that what's wrong?"

            He looked away. "A true soldier has no emotion."

            _A child of about ten shivered in fear, standing before several tall, somber men. "He will be perfect," one said._

_            The child's silver hair glinted in the pale sunlight that filtered through a window in the room. He was smaller than others near his age. His bottom lip trembled slightly as he looked up at the others in the room. "I wanna go home!" he whimpered softly._

_            The man farthest to the left scowled. "You will learn to resist these feelings of weakness-" he began harshly as the door banged open._

_            "Leave." Hitomi knew that cold, commanding voice._

_            A slightly younger Folken kneeled beside the crouching child as the others left the room. "It's alright," his deep voice resounded gently in an abrupt mood-change as he stroked the child's hair like a brother would. His reddish eyes were soft with the memory of someone in his past. "I won't let anything happen to you." _

            Hitomi felt the lines between good and evil suddenly blur. _Folken__…_

            Her hand still embracing the pendant, another vision of the present eclipsed the memory of the past.

            "Van…" she breathed. "He's coming for me…"

            Folken's head remained bowed. "Good."

            She jerked slightly. "No! Van, don't come!" she tried to tell the vision before her, knowing that such attempts were foolishness. Even if he _could hear her, he wouldn't listen._

            Folken turned back to her. "Allow fate to unravel as it chooses. All is for the best."

            She ran to the window and looked out at the sky, seeing what appeared to be a bird coming their way. "Van!" she shouted uselessly. "Go back!!"

            She felt herself yanked backward by a hard, unyielding metal hand. "Do not interfere," Folken said dangerously.

            Hitomi struggled against him, making no headway at all. "Let go of me," she protested, "I won't just sit back and let you kill him!"

            "You don't understand. There's more to this than you can see."

            She could feel the sharp tips of his mechanical fingers digging painfully into her shoulder, tearing holes in her shirt. Her attempts to escape merely resulted in Folken tightening his grip on her. She winced as she felt the warmth of blood seeping down her skin.

            "Let…her…go."

            Never had she felt so happy to hear Van's deathly chilled assassin's voice. Or so worried. "Don't stay, Van-" she managed to blurt out before Folken's flesh hand covered her mouth.

            Van stood silhouetted in the light of the window, looking for all the world like some avenging angel; his wings spread out majestically behind him, the edges lined in gleaming silver light, his sword brandished vertically in his steady grip, glinting in the sunlight, eyes blazing with dangerous purpose.

            "So. You've finally come."

            "You take your hands off of her, or so help me God, I will use my sword to assist you in doing so." His impassive voice sent a chill down her spine.

            She felt a slight 'hmph' of a chuckle from Folken, and he loosened his grip on her shoulder and dropped his other hand. "Cool yourself, Van. I've no intentions of harming your little Princess at the moment."

            "He can't kill me." She could feel the searing heat of Folken's stare boring into her skull, but she kept her eyes level with Van's, drawing strength from his familiar burgundy depths. "He's going to kill _you."_

*          *          *

            Dornkirk's men were falling back, having lost much of their bravado and strength when Dilandau was slain. Even now, they were locked in chaotic confusion, fighting blinding without purpose until one of the generals yelled out "Retreat!" in a voice that resounded across the plains.

            Allen heard his men cheer in victory as the enemy melted away from the thick of the battle, the few stubborn ones who remained easily taken care of. His tired blue eyes looked around him, knowing it was a hollow victory at best.

            So many lay dead and dying on the battlefield. Hellish moans filled the air like mist, the stench of butchered meat permeating the serenity of the afternoon. Allen was overwhelmed by the carnage that surrounded him. Though it was not his first time experiencing hell on earth, it affected him the same way each time. He fell to his knees on the blood-soaked grass, and pressed his torn fist to his forehead. The victory was theirs…but at what a cost.

*          *          *

            Van's eyes shifted to his brother warily. "Is _that _why you brought her here, brother? To use her as bait?"

            "She came of her own accord," Folken stated calmly.

            Van readjusted his grip on the sword. "You won't be able to kill me without a fight."

            "I'm your brother, Van. I know you as well as I know my own heart. Would I expect any less?"

            His dark eyebrows lowered. "I will kill you," he said stiffly, his trembling sword belying his claim. "For mother…father…and the people of Fanelia!"

            He lunged with raised sword at Folken, a feral growl escaping his throat. Folken merely shoved Hitomi aside and drew his sword into a parry in one smooth motion. Hitomi stumbled against the wall, grabbing on to the windowsill for support. Orienting herself, she turned to see Folken stepping aside to block a glancing blow to his right. He wielded the sword with the same degree of finesse that Allen demonstrated, inspiring worry in her mind. Stubbornly, her heart resisted reason. Van could make it. With his courage, he could do anything… He darted behind the large wooden table, Folken's sword lodging itself safely within the thick dark wood. He jerked it out, the infinite calmness still coating his expression, though his eyes burned with something more that she couldn't define.

            "You fight well, Van. Though you need to be more aggressive!" Folken almost broke through Van's line of defense with his quick thrust, gashing the top of his shoulder before he ducked agilely out of the way. The dark-haired warrior circled the taller man, sword held at an angle to ward off incoming attacks. Folken followed his pace with his eyes, turning in place.

            "I said I've no intentions of hurting Hitomi, Van. But sometimes, even the greatest intentions mean nothing." A dagger somehow appeared in his flesh hand, pointed towards the girl. "Do you think I don't know your weakest spot?" With a flick of his wrist, the dagger sailed straight for Hitomi. She screamed and dodged just as Van jumped in front of her to deflect the projectile with his sword. The loud clang rang deafeningly in Hitomi's ears, mingling with Van's battle cry as he charged Folken with unexpected strength, breaking down his defenses and knocking the pale-haired man and his large sword to the ground.

            The tip of Van's sword trembled unsteadily at Folken's throat. His cool eyes look up at his brother with pride. "You are indeed worthy to wield the sword of Fanelia."

            Hitomi watched them like they were a snapshot in the middle of time, frozen save for the sword's slight movement. She could almost see the conflicting thoughts running through Van's head, could almost feel the torrent of emotions tearing through him.

            "Kill me, Van," Folken said without malice. "I knew someday it would come to this."

            Van bit his lip. "I…can't!"

            The sword clattered to the stone floor.

            The older man's eyes looked compassionately upward at the young man before him. "This will not be ended without the shedding of blood."

            He took a step back. "Why?"

            Folken smiled a strangely peaceful smile. "I have lived my life, and I have made my mistakes. I've been given the opportunity to correct them. This is the only way. Without me, all of Dornkirk's authority will drain away, and his rule will fade away to nothing."

            "Well, why not just run away?" Van started at the sound of Hitomi's voice, obviously having forgotten she was there.

            A shadow fell over his eyes. "I am bound to Dornkirk in ways I cannot explain. All I can say is that there is no way I can escape from under Dornkirk's power but to die. Allen's men have won the battle; Van is alive to take his place as heir to the Fanelian throne. With me gone, it should be enough."

            Van shook his head mutely, stepping back again. "I can't do what you ask."

            Folken nodded understandingly. "I should never have expected you to."

            Before either of the young people could stop him, Folken had snatched Van's sword and positioned it on his chest. "For the good of Gaia." His eyes flickered to his brother's. "Live well, Van. Always remember, no matter what mistakes I know I've made, I've always loved you."

            A cry of distress tore through Hitomi's throat as the sword slipped easily through skin and between ribs, jutting out of his back grotesquely. Blood poured freely from the wound as Folken painfully pulled out the sword. Hitomi raced past the shell-shocked Van in time to catch Folken before his head ricocheted against the floor.

            "Why?" she growled angrily. "Why do this to Van, right when you've seen the truth?!"

            His eyes focused on her unsteadily. "Your purpose was never to kill me, Hitomi," he whispered.

            She frowned. "Then what would it be?"

            He swallowed with difficulty, looking beyond her at Van. "Your purpose…"

            It took her a moment after his voice trailed off to realize his eyes had glazed over with the tell-tale signs of death. Tears pricked her eyes.

            "Brother…"

*          *          *

            A man looked up from his looking glass. "What's happening?" he murmured in the empty hall. "I can't see it… I can't see _anything_."

            His mind reached out to Strategos, searching for a link to the present beyond his castle walls. He found nothing.

            His attempts to stop the danger had apparently been overcome. A feeling of trepidation poisoned his gut as the sneaking suspicion arose…

            Fate had turned against him.

            They were the two flaws in his plan, he mused sadly as the overwhelming presence of failure swept over him. To dismiss the feelings between the two lovers as elementary… and to underestimate the love in brotherhood.

*          *          *

            She gently laid Folken on the ground, rising stiffly to meet Van's guarded stare.

            "Oh, Van." The tears that burned the back of her eyes were all for him.

            She wrapped her arms around him, feeling him relax against her and embrace her in return. His hands fisted in the back of her shirt impotently, and she stroked his hair in the best gesture of comfort she could muster. Her head rested comfortably in the crook of his neck. He rested his cheek against the top of her head, not crying, just…dealing. Breathing in his scent, she closed her eyes and sighed.

            "Fate never quite goes the way we might plan," she murmured softly, trying to console him. "It fills life with twists and turns that don't seem to make sense to us at the moment. But, somehow, everything seems to work out for the best in the end. Trust in that."

            She heard him make a small sound in the back of his throat. Finding her mind at a loss for anything else to say, she allowed his warmth to dispel the chill that haunted her. If she could just have this much always, she would be content. Burrowing her face into his neck, she let herself be swept away with the sound of his breathing and the steady cadence of his heartbeat.

*This'll be done in two more chapters…just be patient with me… I'm getting back into my groove (hopefully). I sincerely hope you liked this chapter… I tried to be surprising but maybe I was just typical :P Well, anyway, I hope you liked it either way.

Until I write again…

-wink*


	19. Goodbye

Almost done… Thanks all of you reviewers for giving me your feedback! I promise you, the last chapter will be out in a day or two…

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Chapter 19: Goodbye

            She felt fingers lightly skimming across her forehead and sighed in pleasure. Her violet eyes flickered open to be ensnared by serious brown-green ones.

            "You said to wake you in four hours, little songbird," Dryden said softly.

            Millerna groaned. "I did, didn't I?" She sat up, brushing her bangs back away from her face absently. "How is everything?"

            "Just about how you left it. The wounded are taken care of, the men just need time to recuperate. No new injuries."

            "Meaning all that was left on the field were corpses."

            He hesitated a moment. "Yes."

            She shook her head tiredly. Had she thought she was grown up before? War had a remarkable way of making an adult out of any child in a short span of time. "Allen's fine, right?"

            Dryden's mouth crooked in a weak smile. "After Merle fussed over him, he finally went to sleep."

            "Merle fussed over him, eh?" Millerna returned the smile as she stood. "So this doctor you mentioned not that long ago…does he have to undergo such a rigorous schedule as this?"

            "No," Dryden said lightly, "nothing at all like this. Are you still thinking of being his apprentice?"

            "If he'll have me, why not? I mean, I've had to go through so much after the battle… but it just makes it clearer to me that this is what I want to do with my life. I could probably go to visit him in about two weeks… Merle will definitely have everything under control then. She's already done a marvelous job with whatever she knew before. She just seems to have the natural healing touch."

            Dryden nodded slowly, looking a little dazed.

            "Well, I'd better go check on Gaddes. Unless you have recently."

            He changed direction, shaking his head a negative. "You need me with you?"

            "No, it's your turn to take a few hours off. You look dead on your feet, if you don't mind me saying so," she commented, her gaze taking him in from head to toe.

            He grimaced. "So much for trying to romance you."

            She shrugged. "Just go get some sleep, Dryden. I'm sure you'll feel better."

            He mumbled a reply, already starting to arrange himself on the cot.

            Millerna sighed, and focused her mind on what she had to do. Find out from Merle who hadn't been checked in the past few hours, rebandage wounds, make sure no infection set in… This job never seemed to end. But despite its difficulty on one with little experience, she felt truly accomplished. Her father had wanted her to grow up to be the wife of a duke, to be an ornament on an important man's arm. Her father had frowned upon her medical studies. But here she was…and the better for it. She felt truly _worthwhile_, not just some piece of feminine fluff for a man to protect and care for.

            She entered the tent, glancing at Allen stretched out on the opposite side of the tent. He looked to be sleeping soundly. Merle must've given him some sedatives.

            Turning her attention to Gaddes, she measured his pulse, temperature, and breathing rate. Sighing, she hung her head. He was just as she had left him, in the ambiguous comatose state. She couldn't determine whether it was a good sign or not.

            "Is he dead?"

            Jerking slightly, she turned to meet Allen's tired blue-eyed stare. "No, he's still in the coma. His vital signs are out of the critical."

            "Will he make it?" Allen's face demanded total truth.

            Crossing her arms in front of her, she took a breath. "I don't know," she told him. "I just don't know…"

*          *          *

            "Van, you can't possibly fly me back to camp."

            "Yes, I can."

            "Your shoulder's still bleeding!"

            He shrugged, wincing slightly. "I'm fine."

            "You know you're not. _I'm_ not fine, and I went through far less than you did."

            "Well then, what do you propose we do?"

            Her fingertips brushed the pendant around her neck. "We could always go the way I came."

            "Which was?"

            "My pendant."

            He nodded briefly. "Sounds plausible," he said, though not totally convinced. Swallowing hard, he murmured in a strained voice, "Could I have a moment?"

            "Of course." Hitomi watched him walk back to the freshly dug-up ground along the castle walls. It must've killed Van to leave his brother in an unmarked grave, the only decoration being the wildflowers she could find in the fields next to the tower. She saw the strong warrior fall to his knees, his head bent in his grief. He was alone in this world again. As she had always been. She wished with all her heart that he would never have had to feel that pain for a second time in his life. It was enough that she had to deal with it more than once. But Van… Van had so many things thrown upon him already. She wished that she could help him through it. But she knew this was a path he would have to travel alone.

            Her heart thrummed in her chest as he glanced up at her. This was dangerous territory. She glanced away, looking towards the horizon and the clouds that surfed just above it. If he were to ever find out that she...actually…

            That was too strong a word. She mentally shook herself. _Foolish feminine dreams will only get you hurt, she reminded herself soundly. Better that she just stay how she had always been._

            Oh, but how handsome he looked in the setting sun, his dark lordly profile faintly outlined in the fiery gold of sunset…

            Van brushed the dirt off of his knees as he walked towards her. Was it her imagination, or was he examining her as if he were trying to decipher her recent thoughts? Worried that it would show through her eyes, she avoided looking directly at him. "You ready?"

            He nodded silently, his emotions trapped deep inside of him.

            She looped her arm through his, feeling an intoxicating giddiness at his nearness. Stubbornly, she quelled the girlish impulses that rioted through her body. Grasping her pendant in her other hand, she closed her eyes tightly.

            _I wish…_

*          *          *

            The old man descended the stone spiral staircase in quiet contemplation. The many years of planning weighed heavily upon his aged shoulders. So much had been lost in the mere blink of an eye. All of his grand visions…gone.

            The blackness encased him in its solitude, echoing things of times past. He had hoped that fate would turn in his favor on this world, as it never had on the Mystic Moon. He had hoped for so much…

            He could already feel the turmoil taking place within all the countries he had overtaken. The puppet leaders he had placed in control could do nothing without Strategos' mental connection to himself. And without that mental rapport, they were lost. It would be child's play for the peasants to overtake the governments he had set up. The ignorant fools would never be able to understand that he had been doing what was best for them.

            It felt strange, to have lost all of his power so quickly. He heard an explosion above him, and the walls of the castle falling with great commotion to the ground. The staircase shook, but stood firm. His castle was now nothing more than rubble to the casual aboveground observer.

            A thin smile graced his face. This time his plans may not have succeeded…but there was always the future.

            His steps echoed hauntingly in the darkness of the stairway as he continued downwards, his plans weaving themselves anew.

*          *          *

            Dryden frowned as the morning sun rose. He hadn't been able to get any sleep the night before. Millerna was leaving today…leaving to go apprentice with the doctor he had told her about. She had instructed Merle in all she could to leave the camp running smoothly, assuring her that the rest came with practice and experience, which Merle had had plenty of in the few weeks immediately following the great battle.

            They had talked for several hours under the stars the night before, anything to avoid the impending morning. But after a few moments of silence, Millerna turned to him and said, "I will really miss you, Dryden." Her eyes seemed to be begging for something from him, but for once in his life, he could not anticipate what she wanted. Or perhaps he was too scared to admit what he suspected she was asking for. He had waited too long, for she soon looked away from him, and he could've sworn she'd murmured "I love you." But when he asked her, she had said it was nothing. And what if he had been just hearing things? Saying something of his heart would surely embarrass himself and make her feel guilty. He never wanted Millerna to feel guilty over his weakness concerning her. And so, that had been the horrible end to an already saddening night.

            He could feel the pain of separation, even though she wasn't even gone yet. He was in love with Millerna…and all of his fancy talk about how the true songbird wouldn't leave was started to prick him the wrong way. He suspected that his songbird _would _leave, if just for the fact that he had given her the way out. But it was what she had always wanted, right?

            _Damn it, why do I have to love her enough to let her go?_

            The morning passed mercifully quick in a dreary blur, only halting at the moment after everyone else had said their goodbyes and she was about to ride away. "Goodbye, Dryden," she softly whispered, her queenly demeanor only making his heart ache all the more. He could barely read past her rigid expression.

            "Goodbye, my songbird," he said gently, gazing at her as if he would never see her again. He probably wouldn't.

            She smiled and blew him a kiss, then mounted the horse and began riding away.

            He watched her go, as did the rest of the camp, until she was no more than a speck on the horizon. The others began to wander off to their own duties, but he remained riveted to the spot, as if he could still see Millerna riding off to her future…without him.

            He hung his head, uncommonly sober and quiet. Where was the Dryden that could always put on a show, that could shrug off the most heart-wrenching of things? Where was the Dryden that never let his own emotions show?

            Gone, obviously, with the girl that had stolen his heart…

            Time passed interminably. After a long time, he heard approaching hoof beats, but ignored them until something soft and sweet-smelling flung itself upon him. He brought himself back to the present in a flash, looking up into shining violet eyes a second before his lips were taken in a passionate, intense kiss that robbed him of breath and state of mind. But the beauty of it was, he managed to reflect as his fingers entwined themselves in her pale hair, that he didn't care one bit.

            "Millerna," he managed to gasp as she pulled free, "What are you – how – "

            She pulled his glasses from his face with a laugh. "I realized I don't need to be a professional doctor to be happy."

            "Millerna, I…" Dryden swallowed and felt himself grin as his heart overflowed, filling his mouth with words he thought he'd never say. "I love you."

            Her eyes stole his breath again. "I knew you did. And I love you." She pulled him close and buried her face in his neck, feeling him kissing her hair with utmost tenderness and wondering how it was that he held a miracle in his arms. "You said it yourself, didn't you? The most beautiful songbirds are the ones that are free of all trappings and restrictions…and still come back." She leaned back, tossing her hair behind her freely. "And I _am your songbird."_

*          *          *

            The sun set beautifully over the western horizon, illuminating the clouds with a gleaming orange that was brighter than life. A few rays stood out sharply against the clouds, cutting through and stretching to oblivion in the darkening blue of the sky. Deep purple hues coated the east and glimmering lights twinkled in the darkened expanse merrily, as if they too wanted to celebrate the victory of Gaia.

            "Did you ever find Dornkirk?"

            Van shook his head. "No. His castle was demolished. He must've died in the rubble."

            Hitomi frowned slightly. "Are you sure?"

            Van shrugged. "I guess. What else can he do? All the countries he took over have reverted back to their old ways. Those rulers he set up couldn't do squat against the people, and the army still seems to be in total chaos over the loss of their two leaders."

            "It seems kind of odd that his magnificent government would collapse so easily on itself."

            Van mulled over that. "I have this theory that Dornkirk ran everything with his mind. You understand? He used his mental powers to link everything, so that the government worked smoothly and efficiently. Folken served as a conduit for Dornkirk's mind control, being the immediate link between Dornkirk and the others in command. Without Folken, that line of connection was severed, and the efficiency and smoothness was gone. I'm not really sure why he'd be needed in that position, but Dornkirk obviously had a good reason. He may be our enemy, but he's not stupid."

            "Interesting theory," Hitomi murmured.

            He shrugged again. "It was just a thought." He looked out of the corner of his eyes at her mischievously. "You all ready for the frivolities tonight?"

            The corner of her mouth tipped upwards. "Millerna is working with me."

            "That's a good sign," Van said with satisfaction, leaning back on his elbows.

            She smacked him with the back of her hand on his flat stomach and his breath left him in a _whoof_.

            "What did I say?"

            "It's what you _implied_."

            "You put too much stock in implication, Princess."

            "You would too if words that long weren't completely foreign to your brain."

            A dark eyebrow rose challengingly. "What are you trying to imply with that statement?"

            She grinned impishly, throwing her head back to look at the sky. "Oh… Nothing." Hitomi brought her knees up to her chest, a chill running through her. That was the trouble with summer. The days were hot but the nights were frigid. One's body could never properly adjust to the temperature changes.

            "Are you cold?" Van's voice was suddenly concerned, just as suddenly as he appeared beside her.

            "No, I'm not."

            "The hell you're not," he grumbled, "You could be freezing to death and you'd say you weren't." He put an arm around her and pulled her close against her loud protests.

            She felt her heart rate double in an instant. "You're insufferable," she muttered caustically.

            Somehow, she knew he was grinning even without looking at his face. "Yeah."

            She still hadn't made up her mind about Van. In the two weeks they'd been back, he had been one of her closest companions, and she his. Every now and then a shadow would pass over his face, and she knew exactly why. The shadows came less often than they used to when the two had just arrived in camp. He'd come to terms with the loss… as she always had.

            But now the future seemed to haunt her. She could make a step forward, in hopes that it wouldn't all end as it always had… or she could avoid anything that might end wrong and live alone. Although the first option appeared very untrustworthy to Hitomi, the second wasn't all that appealing either.

            She shifted slightly under Van's arm, setting aside the dilemma in her mind for another moment of quiet contemplation. One thing was for certain, she thought with heated cheeks… she _definitely _wasn't cold anymore.

*          *          *

            Déjà vu assaulted him briefly as he haunted the outside of Hitomi's tent, and he smiled. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he briefly whistled an old Fanelian tune as he waited for her to come out. The only difference was that he wasn't worried about being conspicuous this time.

            Walking in an easy pace back and forth in front of the tent flap, he looked to the sky and briefly thought of his brother. He could almost see him among the glittering stars… smiling, finally at peace. Van nodded towards the majestic expanse, letting his memories and solemn emotions soar upwards, far and away. They would have no place in the celebration tonight.

            He unbuttoned the top of his shirt in slight irritation. He should get used to formal wear, he supposed, if he were to go back to reunite Fanelia into a kingdom again. Maybe formal wear wouldn't be all that important… he _would be in charge. With a grimace, he knew that somehow the advisors would guilt-trip him into wearing all the traditional garments men of his station had always worn anyway. He might as well enjoy the casualness while he could. Rolling the cuffs of his sleeves up to the middle of his forearms, he turned at the sound of the tent flap opening._

            The corner of Hitomi's mouth was curved in an alluring smile. "Hi."

            Van found himself at a loss for words again. He was positive that he was grinning like some adolescent fool. He walked up to her and bent down to place a kiss upon her hand. "Where's my little angel of fire?" he asked curiously.

            Hitomi shrugged easily. "I told Millerna I didn't want to stand out as much this time."

            His mahogany eyes glanced down her, taking in the deep glimmering jade of her dress that fit her like a sheath, blossoming out at her hips in a full, soft skirt. Her neckline was more conventional than before, but the sleeves were made of a transparent material about the same shade as the dress, and belled out at the wrists. Coquettishly batting her eyes, she twirled in a circle and he felt his rational mind ground to a halt as she revealed the deep 'v' in the back that extended down to her waist. He swallowed hard. "Well, I guess that didn't really work," he managed.

            Her eyes seemed a deeper green than they ever had before… Was it the dress, or some inexplicable feminine power? Damn women and their deviousness!

            "You don't seem well, Van. Are you feeling alright?"

            He blinked. "Yes. I'm fine." _You just have this amazing ability to throw me a curve ball right when I think I can anticipate you._ "Just… I'm thirsty. Are you thirsty?"

            "No." She tilted her head slightly. "But if you want something to drink, go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

            "Yeah. Right." Nodding to her, he walked briskly away, checked himself, and turned back. Hitomi seemed surprised to see him return so quickly.

            "By the way, Princess," he began, his eyes gleaming, "you look stunning." He dropped a quick kiss on her lips before she could think to protest, and strode away, feeling much better.

            At least he'd gotten that much of an outlet for the feelings she managed to inflame in him.

*          *          *

            He came upon Hitomi sitting to the side while the other dancers twirled around in vast arrays of gold, indigo, silver, and red. The bonfire lit the crowd with a warm light that suffused the atmosphere surrounding the camp. Hitomi's hair glowed a golden brown in the orange light, looking painstakingly soft and touchable, practically begging for a touch.

            She looked up sharply as he ran his fingers through her hair. "What do you want?"

            He grinned lopsidedly. "Dance with me."

            Her eyes darted away from him. "No…"

            He crouched before her, making it impossible for her to glance away. He took her chin in his hands and forced her head up gently. "Please. For old times sake." Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, he added, "I won't fast dance…promise. I wouldn't want to remind you of the past."

            She graced him with a rueful smile. "You just did."

            "Well," he fumbled, "that's different."

            "How so?" A graceful eyebrow lifted ever so slightly.

            "Being reminded verbally is different than being reminded physically," he said, knowing he was shooting at air.

            Hitomi rolled her eyes dramatically at him. "Fine. If it'll get you to stop rambling, I'll dance with you."

            "Well, it's comforting that you feel so much affection for me," he stated as her hand slipped into the crook of his arm.

            "You're such a doofus sometimes, Van," she remarked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "No one would ever know it to look at you, but you can really be a doofus."

            "Well that lifts my already rising ego," he said sarcastically.

            She smiled winningly. "I meant it in the best possible way."

            Hitomi stood before him, and he found himself gazing upon her again, losing track of time.

            "Were we going to dance?"

            "Oh. Right." He cursed the day he was ever afflicted with this foul disease of the heart. It had the inevitable way of turning him from a warrior into a brainless moron.

            The music slowed its pace into something akin to a waltz, the smooth chords echoing in gentle progression over the fields they were surrounded by. A whimsical melody danced above the chords, dipping into the lower registers and back up into the high, but always remaining crystalline and delicate.

            Van could feel the warmth within him again as he placed his hand at the small of her back, where the fabric began. Her hand rested softly – agonizingly – on his shoulder. But as much as she made him feel, he knew he'd never trade it for anything. Love was a horrible, wonderful thing.

            She was looking over his shoulder, watching the other dancers. "Hey, Van, look." He turned his head slightly to see what she was referring to. He felt her chuckle. "Who would've ever thought that? Allen with short hair."

            "He said he was sick of it always getting in the way."

            She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "It looks good on him." He looked at her sharply and she merely smiled. "Is it wrong for me to say a guy is good-looking?"

            He had no reply to that, so he simply shut his mouth and kept dancing. He wasn't about to dig himself into a hole this time.

            After a few moments Hitomi looked up at him, and though he knew she wasn't intending to look tempting, she did nevertheless. "Why did you want to dance with me, Van?"

            He dipped his head slightly closer with a smile that belied the churning in his gut. "So I could be close to you. It's one of the few ways I can get close to you now with your permission and without your backhands."

            Her cheeks flushed adorably in the firelight. "If you weren't behaving so nice at the moment, you would be slapped for that."

            "Well, I'd consider it well worth the trouble."

            Her face turned inquisitive. "What is it with you? You've never acted this way before."

            He shrugged slightly. _Love makes a man do crazy things_. "I…don't know."

            She sighed ever so slightly, the scent of her hair afflicting him in so many ways. "Van, I think I know what the problem is. And I – I can't. At least, I don't know. I don't think I can do this."

            He frowned, somehow knowing what she meant. "Why not?"

            "I told you…no exceptions. I don't want to go through any more pain than I have to."

            "Everyone gets over it." At her look, he hastily replied, "I know that sounds callous, but it's true. I've been through just as many difficulties. I know."

            "I just…"

            "What about Gaddes? Isn't he an exception?"

            "Gaddes was an _accident_." She stared up at him with certainty. "There are no exceptions."

            "You're just holding on to that thought of yours because you're scared of the future. What's with you, Princess? You're so strong, and yet just the mere thought of taking a step where you've never taken one before frightens you."

            "I've loved people before, and look where I ended up!"

            "It's a different kind of love. Don't fool yourself."

            Her face shuttered. "It doesn't matter, Van. Even if I was to stay near you…you're going to be the king of Fanelia. And don't try and say you'd give it up for me, because I won't allow you to. Fanelia needs a good king, and that's you. And quite frankly, I never want to have such a place in a kingdom again." 

            She shook his hands off and strode away, leaving him to wonder what he could've said differently.

*          *          *

            She entered the tent where Gaddes lay still in a coma. She knelt beside his bed and held his motionless hand. "I wish you would wake up," she murmured. "I've got so much I need to talk to you about."

            It was pretty silly what she was doing, wasn't it? To stock all of her preconceived notions on what she herself had experienced in her wretched life, when it was evident all around her that love could happen without a sad ending. Millerna and Dryden, dancing as if they would never let go…

            She felt a tear slip down her cheek, and she stubbornly wiped it away. She knew her reasoning to Van was weak at best. But what else could she say? She _was scared. But part of what she'd said was true. She never wanted to be part of royalty again, because royalty was just another word for 'prime target for rebellious uprisings'._

            She sighed. Van had almost outright admitted that he knew she loved him… and if she was lucky, he might just love her back. Or like her, in the very least. That could always grow into love, right? She needed to just grow up, to just get over the fact that life had screwed her before and to try again. She needed Gaddes to tell her this was the right thing to do. She needed…

            Her hand gripped Gaddes' cold one tighter as her eyes flashed open. She hurriedly checked the pulse in his wrist.

*          *          *

            "GADDES!"

            Van sprinted to Gaddes' tent as soon as he heard Hitomi's voice rise above the music. He barged in to find her leaning over him, her ear to his mouth, her fingertips pressing against his throat.

            "Hitomi-" he gasped, "what – is he – did he – wake-"

            She turned haunted eyes to him. "Dead," she whispered. "He's dead."

            His mouth dropped open in shock as he sensed Millerna and the others crowding in behind him. The doctor rushed up, clearly as surprised as he. "But I checked on him not that long ago!" Millerna babbled. "He was fine an hour ago…"

            Hitomi's breath constricted in her throat, and Van helplessly opened his arms to her, not knowing of any other solution to the problem. Hitomi stumbled into them, allowing him to lead her away from the crowd, but not allowing herself to cry.

            "He's dead…" she repeated brokenly against his shoulder, clutching at his sleeve, and he felt a slight dampness pass through his shirt. "Dead…"

            He held her close and murmured meaningless comfort to her as they sat underneath the beautiful starlight. He cursed whatever God was up there that would allow this to happen to her. Why? Hitomi had never deserved any of this to befall her! She was worthy of so much more…

            His cheek rested against her warm hair, his breaths came even with hers. She sniffled slightly, resting the side of her face against his shoulder, and sighed. "I didn't even get to say goodbye…"

*          *          *

            The funeral was immediate and short. So many of the men had hoped that the planet's turn towards victory would also pertain to Gaddes; that his positive physical signs would amount to him awakening from his coma with the typical ease that characterized him so well. No one had ever expected him to go like that.

            Hitomi laid a blue flower she had found in the fields on top of the fresh dirt. The headstone had Gaddes' name engraved on it, along with 'Second Mate, Leader, and Friend'. She felt her heart breaking. Her big brother – for it seemed she could consider him as nothing else – had also been killed with the cruel future that Dornkirk had thrown upon her. So many deaths had befallen her in the past few years… so many friends and family lost to a cause she still didn't fully understand.

            Well, enough was enough. Van said that Dornkirk was dead… but somehow, in Hitomi's heart, she knew better. A man like Dornkirk wouldn't simply descend down into ashes; he would find a way to carve out a new niche for himself. And since Van would be returning to Fanelia, to be seen in any proximity to him would put her in direct line of fire for any more of fate's cruel twists. Well, no more.

            She needed a new life… She needed to find out where she belonged.

            She needed peace…

*          *          *

            "You're sure about going?"

            Hitomi brushed her bangs out of her eyes, smiling half-heartedly at Van. "Yes. You need to understand, Van. I… I need to find my purpose. I need to start over. Without risks."

            "Where's your first stop?"

            She cinched the saddle around the horse. "I was thinking I could stop by Maia for a little…see if I can find myself a home. I always loved it there…"

            He nodded, finding himself displeased about it all the same. "So you won't ever reconsider?"

            "No exceptions. Remember?"

            "Right." He was beginning to really hate her whole 'no exceptions' thing. Sure, it was cute and endearing and tempting to break… but with a woman like Hitomi, her stubbornness would always override any attempt he could make to break it. Which made it no longer good. What a confounding thing love was. It made everything that should be easy in life just as confusing.

            She let out a breath, squinting towards the rising sun. "Looks like I should be going…"

            He grabbed her hand on impulse, wishing somehow he could make her stay. "Listen, Princess…"

            A somber smile curved her lips again. "You know, you've never really called me by my first name," she murmured. "Oh, sure, when you're not thinking you did sometimes… But never on purpose. Not so I could hear it."

            "Well…I…" He found himself remarkably close to her, his head bent just inches from hers.

            She looked up into his mahogany eyes, showing flecks of orange gold from the sun rising behind her. She felt her heart squeezing painfully in her chest, could feel the energy humming between them. _Oh, Van_, she thought_, If you would just kiss me… Just once more… Kiss me like you mean it, and I swear to you I'll stay…forever…_

            She saw his familiar cocky grin curve his tempting lips, and he planted a chaste kiss on her cheek. She could feel the burning of tears behind her eyes, and quickly turned her face away. "Well, this is goodbye, I guess."

            His rough fingers swiped the renegade tear that had found its way down her cheek, and he made as if to pocket it. "I'll always treasure it," he said, his tone faintly teasing. "They don't come easily from you."

            She heard the song from the other night enter her ears, and felt even more tears build. Why did the lyrics have to relate to her so well? Why did she have to remember them with such vivid clarity?

            _Goodbye, I love you  
            More than anything  
            More intensely than the blue of the sky  
            Don't cry, We'll meet again  
            But only I know  
            That we'll never see each other again…_

            Before he could see the evidence of her emotion in her eyes, she ducked her head. "Here." Pulling the pendant from around her neck, she held it out to him and shyly smiled weakly up at him. "I want you to have this. Remember me."

            Van accepted the pendant, holding it as if it was some priceless treasure.

            She swallowed hard. If she stayed a moment more, she would falter. She had to go.

            Van looked up at her as she began to ride away on the dappled mare, wishing for so much and yet so little. After all, there really was only one thing he wished for, wasn't there?

            "Goodbye, Hitomi," he called out after her, feeling the huskiness within his voice.

            She turned back to him, a tender smile filling his heart. "I'll never forget you, Van." she called back as the distance increased. "Not even when I get old."

            Van sighed as he looked after her. "Neither will I," he mumbled to himself, hearing the sound of the wind flying gently over the fields.

            "What the hell are you doing?"

            He turned in surprise towards the blonde knight. "Saying goodbye."

            "Damn it, Van," Allen muttered, "go after her."

            "It's her choice to go. I can't just _make_ her come back." He returned his gaze back to the retreating figure in the horizon.

            "Why not?"

            "Because… I love her."

*-wink*


	20. Wings

Finale…

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 20: Wings

            Two years.

            Hitomi looked out the open window at a bird whose wings glinted a shade-shifting green in the sunlight.

            She'd spent the past two years carving a small niche for herself in the little town of Aversade. The green fields beyond her window swayed gaily in the breeze that chased fairies between the numerous blades. The sky was a crystal blue color that nearly hurt the eyes, it was so pure. No clouds tainted the vast expanse as the cool breeze brushed by her face and caressed the thin tendrils that resisted confinement. A little wolf-child ran by the window, pausing momentarily to send her an exuberant wave and grin.

            She returned a whimsical smile, watching the boy scamper to the group of children in the town center who were deeply involved in an intense game of stickball.

            Spreading the sleeve of the shirt across her lap, she pulled the last stitch taut and snapped it off. Sighing with satisfaction, she hung the red shirt on the line that went across the front of her one-room house. In the town she served as a sort of jack-of-all-trades, tailoring when the opportunity presented itself (she had discovered a certain affinity for this field, though she wasn't exactly sure why), and became a passable doctor when the situation wasn't too serious. A little herb garden was growing well in her backyard, and she also watched the children from time to time. Nothing major. Just enough to get by comfortably. 

            Overall, her life was very pleasant. Peaceful. Just the kind of life she'd wanted, right?

            But it wasn't _home._ She knew that at any time, she could pack up her few belongings and leave without any hassle, emotional or otherwise. And despite her insistence upon total independence, she was slowly finding that cutting herself off from people was a very slow, very lonely death.

            Her fingers trailed idly down the crimson shirt beside her, which vividly reminded her of Van.

            Of course…what didn't?

            Resting her head tiredly against the side of the window, she sighed. After two years, her heart still felt completely lost to her. She'd stopped crying, though. After all, what good does crying do a broken heart?

            Not a day went by when she didn't think of him though, at least in passing. She could almost see his beautiful mahogany eyes before her, holding a trace of amusement within their serious depths…

            She hung her head, feeling the aching loneliness within her heart. This was what she'd wanted, wasn't it?

            _"Goodbye, Princess."_

She swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat.

            Had she made the worst mistake of her life?

*          *          *

            Van propped the sword on the ground, his bare chest heaving up and down with each breath he took. He could feel the hair at the nape of his neck clinging to his skin with the dampness of his sweat, and grimacing, he raked his fingers through his bangs in an effort to cool his head off. The telltale feel of his hair's shorter length never ceased to startle him. He'd sported the 'groomed' look ever since he had become official king of Fanelia. Oh, it still got in his eyes occasionally (he would never allow anyone to cut it _that _short), but as a general rule he was much more 'presentable,' or so his advisors claimed.

            His opponent's appearance resembled Van's very similarly, down to the stance and the breathing, except for the blonde hair that went to the man's shoulders and the blue eyes that glittered with amusement. "Kingship hasn't deterred your practice in the least," he panted, pulling his bangs away from his face.

            Van shrugged easily. "It's a good stress-reliever," he stated mildly.

            Allen chuckled. "Something which you have much of, no doubt. I would wager you do this at _least_ once a day." He winked rakishly. "I think you need to get yourself a girl."

            A shadow passed over Van's face for a brief moment, but dissipated with his smile. "I hear they tend to cause more stress than they can relieve."

            Allen barked a laugh, his eyes focusing beyond Van. "They do at that."

            The dark-haired man quirked an eyebrow curiously. "And you would know of this personally, Allen?"

            A surprising pinkness tinted Allen's cheeks so faintly that Van wasn't sure if it was just his mind imagining things. "Everyone knows of it personally at some point," the knight hedged.

            Van felt a wide grin curve his lips. "You speak with the voice of _recent _experience." Leaving his sword, he walked up to the blonde man, circling him like a hawk. "I wonder who it could be?"

            "No one."

            He tapped his finger against his chin. "It couldn't be Millerna, as she's been married to Dryden for at least a year. Maybe more. I can't remember." He stood in front of Allen, crossing his arms across his broad chest, feeling a frission of pleasure at the fact that he now stood as tall as Allen. "You said you have no interest in that Nariya girl you met over at Palas. So it can't be her. Then there's always – "

            "Merle!"

            He frowned at Allen's exclamation. "Well – " was all he managed to get out before a bundle of fur hit him from behind, and he heard a familiar voice screeching "Lord Van!" 

            "Merle," he grunted, trying to disentangle himself from the creature that gripped him tightly. "It's good to see you."

            "You've grown up, Lord Van," she said cheerily. "I don't remember having to look this far up at you."

            His eyebrows rose as he looked at the cat-girl who could now no longer be called a _girl_. "Wow… you've grown up quite a bit yourself, Merle."

            She smiled happily. "Thank you." Her expression flickering as she obviously remembered something. She turned to Allen and in a scolding tone said, "What are you doing?"

            He seemed to squirm under her scrutiny. _That's ridiculous_, Van thought. _Allen? Squirm under _any _woman's glare?_

            "I was just…"

            She rolled her eyes expressively, mainly for Van's sake. "He does this _all _the time."

            "Oh, really?" Van said, interested.

            "It's a good stress-reliever," Allen defended himself.

            She snorted. "It's not when I have to patch you up afterwards! Seriously, Allen, you should stop doing things that get yourself hurt."

            "I'm not going to stop doing the things I enjoy just because you don't feel like doing your job."

            "It's not a matter of me doing my job. You need to stop doing such stupid things!"

            "They're not stupid."

            Van was watching the interaction with much interest. He'd never seen either party quarrel like this with anyone before.

            "Allen, I just don't want you to hurt yourself. I'm doing this for your own good."

            "I didn't hurt myself."

            She seized his chin with her hand, turning his face to the side. "You have a lump forming on your forehead."

            "A lucky blow," Allen murmured, not showing a bit of complaint over Merle's handling.

            She traced her fingertips lightly over it and tsk-ed. "You need to put some ice on this. I'll be right back."

            Throwing a smile over her shoulder, she disappeared back into the castle.

            Van kept his eyes trained on Allen, who had forgotten his presence for the moment. He cleared his throat.

            Allen blinked, and focused his eyes on Van. Seeing his knowing smirk, he began, "Well, you see – "

            "I saw a lot, Allen." Van laughed. "And you really don't have to explain it to me."

            He collapsed into an easy smile, finding it less complicated to just agree. "It's not like anything's… _official_…"

            Van shrugged. "Official or not, I'm happy for both of you."

            "I mean, she hasn't really said or done anything to – "

            "Allen," Van cut him off. "Trust me."

            "Allen!" Merle walked up to the two and seized Allen's arm. "You've got to come inside so we can put some ice on that lump," she said motherly, coaxing him inside. With a sheepish look and a shrug, the blonde knight amiably followed the cat-girl – excuse him, cat-_woman_ – into the castle.

            Van touched the pendant that hung from his neck with his fingertips and let out a small breath. The prospect of Merle and Allen together was indeed something he was happy for, but it also managed to revive painful memories.

            Who was he kidding? His memories were at the surface, just begging to be relived by the slightest prodding. It was only because of his eternal hope of her return that he was able to live a halfway normal life, without living in the dark bleakness of despair.

            And even if she never did return… even if he was truly destined to live a life without her… he would count himself blessed to have known and loved her, if even for that short of a time. With a bittersweet smile curving his lips, he knew he would never trade any of it for anything.

            He closed his eyes, and could still see her jade green eyes in his mind…could still hear her final goodbye…

            _"I'll never forget you… not even when I get old!"_

Holding the pendant in his hand for a brief moment, he thought, _I wish that Hitomi would return_.

            Knowing it was foolishness, he shook his head and picked up his sword from the ground. There was more to do today.

            The kingdom awaited its king.

*          *          *

            Van wearily trudged up to his chambers, feeling the effects of the long day of bureaucracy that assaulted him after his sparring match with Allen. Who knew that ruling a kingdom was so much more mentally exhausting than fighting a war?

            And even more depressing was how he knew he'd find his room. Clean, crisp, organized.

            Lonely.

            Mentally shrugging, he swung the door open, finding firelight mingling with the blue moonlight that came streaming in through the window. He strode into his room, already unbuckling his belt so that his sword clanged on the ground. He removed his shirt and replaced it with one of his more comfortable sleeveless tops he used to wear so long ago. Turning, he felt his heart jump as he saw a figure sitting on the couch, hidden in shadow.

            "Who's there?" he frowned, cursing himself for having left his sword halfway across the room. It was a woman sitting there, he could tell that much, with hair down to her shoulders, but with the way women had been pestering him lately when he went into the markets, he couldn't rightly define who it could be.

            She tilted her chin, bringing her face out of the shadows. "You don't remember me?"

            He felt his heart stop.

            "Hitomi!"

            A small smile curved her lips as she watched him try to compose himself.

            "I'm sorry, I – well, it was a long day and… You see, I was kind of distracted and… Your hair is longer so I didn't…" He stopped himself and smiled ruefully. "Hi."

            He remembered the wish he'd made earlier, and thought, _I would've done this years ago if I'd have known it would work!_

            She brushed her hair back. "Hi."

            "How did you get in here?"

            Her smile grew, reaching to her eyes. "I used everything you taught me those years ago. Never knew I'd be able to use it all sometime later."

            "Oh." His elation over his wish deflated. _Or…maybe not…_

            She rose gracefully from the couch, her evergreen skirt draping over her legs like liquid shadow. She no longer wore the tailored men's clothes he'd first met her in. The mere femininity of her garb was like a velvet-coated punch to his gut. He blinked as the sound of her voice washed over him, and he tried to jog his mind back into gear.

            "-ve you been?"

            "Um, I've been fine," he said, his normally fluent kingly speech reduced to adolescent simpering by her presence. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "And you?"

            "Like normal I guess." Her shoulders lifted slightly in a brief shrug, and then her eyebrow rose speculatively. "Are you feeling alright?"

            "I'm fine. Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

            Her bemused expression did nothing to help his frazzled male ego. "Oh… no reason."

            He grimaced slightly. "Sorry. I just… didn't expect you _here_, that's all." He gestured expansively to the room as if that explained everything.

            "Oh." Understanding filled her face as she looked around the room, glancing towards the bed. "Well, I don't suppose you would've _ever_ expected me to end up in here, I guess…" Was it the moonlight, or were her cheeks slightly flushed? "I…uh… I didn't intend for it to be in a…suggestive situation. I just – you know – with all the publicity and all that… I just didn't want rumors to be running around about you and… me and, uh…"

            He smiled without effort for the first time, finally feeling a little more on the level now that she felt as awkward as he. "I understand, don't worry about it. Being in the public eye can be a royal pain." He winced. "Pardon the pun."

            She laughed, her voice like long-lost music to his ears. How had he ever survived without it? "I forgot how horrible your wit was."

            "It is not horrible," he defended. "I'm just out of practice."

            "What, you never verbally spar with anyone? How is that possible? You're so _ornery_."

            "I'm the king," he stated with an irascible grin. "No one argues with me."

            "Oh, trust me. _Someone _will argue with you."

            "I'd like to see them try."

            "I can bet I'd see them win."

            "You willing to take me on?"

            "I just did, didn't I?"

            "Touché," he chuckled ruefully. Motioning her towards the couch by the window, he said, "So tell me about your new life. What you do. Who you're with. All the details."

            Van listened with rapt attention as Hitomi filled him in on what she'd been doing the past two years, just enjoying the subconscious feeling of having her near him once again. He'd not realized just how much he'd missed her, not until he was able to hear her voice again, to smell her hair like he had before, and to feel her presence beside him in the middle of the night. Watching her face, half in shadow, he felt his heart pound in his ears. What if she left again? Could he bear it a second time, knowing he had been so close to keeping her?

            She'd stopped talking finally, instead staring out at the stars idly as he concentrated on breathing evenly. They sat close enough that he was almost touching her which wreaked havoc with his common sense. His eyes traced the curves of her face, the shape of her mouth, embedding them into his memory so that he would never forget her. Her hair fell about her shoulders, falling into her face as she bowed her head.

            Gently, he brushed the hair back away from her eyes. "You grew it longer," he said softly.

            She nodded almost shyly, smiling up into his eyes. "I didn't really like it short," she murmured.

            "Why not?"

            She shrugged, and mumbled something that sounded like 'too many memories'. Sifting his fingers through her hair, he commented, "It looks nice. Well, I mean, it always did, but it looks especially nice now."

            Her eyes twinkled at him. "Thanks, Van."

            The sound of his name on her lips sparked reactions in his gut that had long lain dormant. Did she know? Did she even feel an inkling of the storm that was tearing through his soul?

            "Your hair's different, too," she said, brushing her hand lightly through his hair. "It's shorter."

            "My advisors said they couldn't have their king looking like some ragamuffin grabbed right off the street."

            "It looks good. I can actually see your eyes now."

            "Oh, really?"

            Their gazes locked in a soul's embrace, and he felt his control snap.

            "Hitomi, I'm sorry, but I have to do this."

            Her startled face was the last thing he saw before he pulled her to him and kissed her with all the pent-up longing and love he had held for so long in his heart. He tensed mentally, awaiting her sudden shove or slap which he suspected would be inevitable with his rash behavior.

            He never expected her to twine her fingers into his hair, or for her to lean into him and return his kiss with the same fervor.

            He could've sworn his heart had stopped beating the whole time he kissed her, as if letting time pass would somehow make reality rear its ugly head. But the moment they broke apart for air, her shining eyes told him all he needed to know.

            "Van, I learned something these past two years," she said breathlessly, trying to regain her composure. "Something I have to tell you. I was going to wait, but I suppose now's as good a time as any." Taking a deep breath, she continued. "I've learned that I _can _live without you." Just before he felt his hope shatter, she gripped his hand and held it to her heart. "But I don't want to."

            "You… what?"

            She smiled with tears in her eyes. "You dolt, don't you understand what I'm trying to tell you? I love you. I can't help it."

            "You… Really?"

            A strained laugh escaped her. "Yeah, I didn't expect it either. You, with your egotistical, stubborn, forceful, blunt-"

            He broke in, his mind still repeating what she had said before. "You love me?"

            Her shoulders lifted with rueful acquiescence. "Arrogance and all."

            His heart would have burst if she hadn't already stolen it away. "Hitomi," he began huskily, "I've loved you since the moment I saved you from the fire, and I've waited far too long for you to finally come to your senses." Before she could give a retort to his statement, he claimed her lips in another kiss that spoke more than words ever could. Van knew with certainty that as long as he had Hitomi by his side, he would never need his wings to fly again.

            He drew away, his eyes never leaving her face, watching her lashes flutter lazily upward. "Well, I'm glad you waited," she quipped, her mouth curved in a very alluring smile. She let out a small sigh, looking out to the sky as if she could see someone in the stars. "So _this _is my purpose…"

            "You know what I just realized?"

            She turned her eyes back to him. "What?"

            "I guess I can't call you 'Princess' anymore."

            She frowned, as if the idea of her nickname being revoked was unpleasant to her. "Why not?"

            He grinned wolfishly. "You wouldn't be a princess any more if you married me."

            She tugged his hair teasingly. "You're impossible," she laughed, embracing him tightly, as if to never let him go. Her head rested very comfortably in the crook of his neck, and her warm breath caressed his skin. "So was that a proposal, _King_ Van?"

            "I'd say it was, considering you can't live without me."

            She poked him in the side. "I said I didn't _want_ to. There's a difference."

            "Not to me."

            She sighed long-sufferingly. "I guess it doesn't matter. Not so long as I have you under my thumb." He could feel her grin against his shoulder when he poked her ribs. "I mean, by my side."

            They sat together on the couch all night, fingers twined together as their soft voices plotted grand visions of the future. The stars faded slowly away as the eastern horizon began to glow golden. Silence fell easily between the two lovers as they watched the sun slowly rise, casting its warm light upon everything in its view.

            "There's something else I've got to ask you," Van said into the silence. He turned towards the grander vision of beauty beside him, finding her receptive to his question. "I thought you always said there were no exceptions."

            Her smile could've filled heaven itself with light.

            "_You're _my exception."

_I always wanted wings,  
I always wanted to fly,  
But life just had this habit  
Of passing my dreams by.  
But once I felt the wind  
As I soared on a sea of blue,  
And then I knew the truth,  
**I found my wings in you**._

*the end*

*It's been great writing this story, guys, and I'm so thrilled that I finally was able to reach the end of an extended story! Thanks so incredibly much for your reviews and encouragement to keep me going. I feel so accomplished… but sad. Because now this story is over. *sniff* And I know some of you made noises about a sequel, but I don't know… I have the feeling that if I tried to make a sequel, it would end up coming out very, _very _typical. And I definitely don't ever want to be typical *smiles wryly* you know me…

But there's another story I've got ideas for, never fear… Wink will not be gone forever… It'll be a high school AU fic (though hopefully not 'typical' teenage angst) called "Counterpoint" for reasons you'll just have to find out when I finally am able to get the first chapter out… But the story will be centered very much on something that I have much love for…

Anyway, another great thanks to everyone for reading this! I've loved every single moment of it…

'Til I write again!

-wink*


End file.
